Never drinking again

Never drinking again is part of a series on final solutions.

[crackersGas the...]

This is a phrase often heard IRL following a night of acute alcohol intoxication. No one ever in the history of forever has given up drinking immediately after saying this phrase while hungover. Due to the fact that many internet nerds are all grown up now and can purchase booze, it has gained increasing popularity in OL forums. This is an example of how internet addicts blur the line between IRL and OL behavior, a phenomenon known as irLOL.

The exclamation is used frequently in IRC "channels," typically after the IRC "user" has woken up after passing out at the keyboard and has just read her scrollback highlighting all the OMGPRIV8 stuff she typed while drunk.

     <@oclet> man
     <@oclet> remind me
     <@oclet> not to mix vodka
     <@oclet> w/ cherry flavored benadryl again

Case Study

Mornings on IRC channel #bantown are usually full of Never Drinking Agains. Although nearly all of the channel occupants have had their share of problems with the drink, there are two users who are off and on the wagon more than Laura Ingalls Wilder: the hepkitten and oclet.

Hepkitten and oclet often drink together, goading each other on. They told you they were hardcore. Their poison of choice is Maker's Mark, popular among IRCkids and old men who have nothing to live for (whose populations differ only in age).

This is a typical night:

      <h3p> im gonna drink the other half of this bottle of makers mark
      <oclet> YES
      <oclet> DO IT
      <h3p> OCLET
      <oclet> CALL ME
      <h3p> DO YOU REMEMBER LAST TIME
      <h3p> I DRANK?
      <oclet> YES
      <oclet> IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME
      <h3p> dude
      <h3p> i vomited last time
      <h3p> all over
      <h3p> did i not send you neverdrinkingagain.jpg?
      <h3p> i did it on the phone with oclet
      <oclet> drinking whisky turns you into a cowboy

And this is a typical morning:

     <h3p> guhhh... never drinking again 4sure!!!8
     <oclet> ditto to that 4realz!
     <h3p> my ass hurts.
     <oclet> iawtc

Conclusion

See kids? Drinking is serious business!

     <oclet> isnt that what makes people love people?

Only in the case of hepkitten... srsly, if she has one more bastard child from mixing IRC and alcohol, she's going to have to start renting them out.

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS IRC DRUNK.

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Never drinking again

Case Study

Conclusion

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Never drinking again

Case Study

Conclusion

See Also

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