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LBC Lulz News/E3 Days 3 and 4, By "The Guy"
7 June 2011
E3 2011 Day 3
By THE GUY
DEAR NINTENDO:
I love your Wii U. But why did you not bring any real fucking games for it at E3? I have been annoyed by this since Day 2 of E3. THERE ARE NO REAL GAMES FOR WII U AT E3?! Also, what the fuck is the name? Wii U? As in Wii University? Don't get me wrong, Nintendo still wins though. Hell, I like Wii University better than PS Velveeta.
The price range is going to be about $250-300, which is good. If it turns out to be $599 I will fucking scream.
Oh yeah, and none of the footage of third party games that were shown at E3 were real. Goddammit Nintendo! Seriously! And, the 3DS price will be staying the same. After this news broke, Nintendo's stock price fell 5%. Good fucking job dickwads.
However, it turns out Darksiders 2 is already running on Nintendo's hardware, and that they could have shown it at E3. Why the hell didn't they then? That's just fucking stupid.
In better Nintendo news, NO MORE FRIEND CODES. Thank the fucking Lord. And Assassin's Creed is coiming to Wii U, plus Metal Gear may be coming to Wii U as well.
Apparently Red Dead Redemption has inspired the FF13 2 development team, and will feature sidequests that are fashioned after it. Hopefully they'll be inspired to not make a shitty fucking game.
Also, Bobby Kotick was denied entry to Battlefield 3, according to an anonymous source. That is the best news of E3.
While there was other news that came out of E3, I am too pissed off to cover it. This was the worst E3 ever. As a hardcore gamer I am offended that the industry has yet again forgotten the hardcore gamers. Instead, let's sell games to my fucking mom! My mom doesn't know shit about gaming! She can't appreciate a real game! Oh, let's sell some more Call of Duties to that little shithead kid who lives down my street! That little fucker doesn't get it either. I tried to explain to him once that he wasn't a real gamer. I tried to tell him that MW2 wasn't a real game, but the little asshole just ran and cried to his mom. It's like I'm the last real gamer.
If you honestly think that this year's E3 was filled with great games, then you are just another sheep. You assholes need to learn what a real gamer is.
I've got one thing left to say: when Nintendo is more hardcore than you, it's a sign that you need a new fucking job.