Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/April 21, 2023

Adolf Hitler

Adolf "Der Übermensch" Hitler (April 20, 1889 – April 30, 1945) is perhaps, the greatest figure that shall be immortalized in World history forevermore, for History cannot be ever taught without mentioning the name of Hitler. He is the Superman prophesized by Friedrich Nietzsche, a messiah who took it upon himself to cleanse the free world of the greatest parasitic cause of debt on the planet, and was one of the 20th Century's most misunderstood political revisionists, a genius who saved Germany from the Great Depression, and paving the way for Germany from being Europe's backwater into the economic and engineering powerhouse we know today. He is also the Undisputed Champion of the Art of Ranting, Among his inventions were the Autobahn system, the Volkswagen cars, the Me-262 (the first true Jet fighters) the V2 superweapons (which the Amerijews and Russians stole to power the Space Race), and a way to convert useless parasites into an efficient form of Renewable Energy. He also planned to renovate Berlin into a utopia called Welthauptstadt Germania. Up to today, he still holds the high score in IRL Risk. He was undefeated until he went up against fellow sociopathic asshat Joseph Stalin, although Americunts like to think they had something to do with it. He broke new strategic ground with his Blitzkrieg tactics, which effectively meant that he was in your nation, killing your j00z.

Hitler was a Child Prodigy who attended the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts but unfortunately was expelled because the academy's administrators mocked his artistic designs and told him he should pursue architecture and making shitty anime. He, being the Original Emo Kid, also had a history of child abuse and rape from his (Jewish) father and in school was always bullied by those rich-ass kikes for his lunch money, which is why he had an epiphany that the Jews were bullying nations into paying up debts they never even had, thus paving his journey to use his genius to pursue multiple degrees in Philosophy, Political Science, Biology, Thermodynamics and Chemistry, so that he could unmask the Truth of the Jew menace and attempt to enact the greatest plan of Human Liberation in all of History.

There has been evidence that he also had Jewish ancestry, and, rather ironically, was blamed for a mass killing-off of Jews in Europe. Liberal Media wants to portray him as a overweight, perverted, sexually deprived, gay, racist, homophobic, Jew-in-denial, highly functioning autistic. According to das Juden, during his holiday in Germany, Hitler had a party (complete with fully catered bar-b-que) with six million members—this party has come to be known as "The Holocaust". In fact, he was a sensitive hero who tried to save the undeserving Jews from the racist Germans that he, an Austrian, loved so much.

Contrary to popular belief, Hitler was not killed by Aldo the Apache and his band of Jews, who brutalized the peaceful Germans for the promise of jewgolds in return for each clitoris removed from German schoolgirls. He turned out he escaped. Years later the DNA testing on one of the supposed skull fragments showed that that not only did the DNA not match any recorded samples but they didn't match Eva Braun’s familiar DNA either. The Russians lied, who would have thought?

His latest successor (and possible descendant) is Donaldus I of the House of Florida Man, God-Emperor of Mankind.

(( It Was Either Celebrate Hitler's Birthday Or Suck Up To The Stoners ))

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