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Wicked (Movie)

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Wicked is yet another adaptation of the Wizard of Oz, as if cinema really needed another Wizard of Oz fanfiction approved for the big screen— and get this; it's a musical. Well if this movie is so forgettable, then why does it even warrant an ED article? Most of the controversies surrounding this film have not to do with the film itself perse, but with its subsequent marketing mishaps, its dykish fanbase and the bald chocolate negress who leads the role as a duel protagonist and thinks this movie was supposed to be about her and not the character she was playing.

Wicked.com

 
Glinda on the shelf just waiting to get shoved up some random Wicked fan's vagina

As with all big-shot movies that come out, so does a line of merchandise and toys along side it to scrub any last monetary value it can from its consumerist fanbase. Whoever was designing the boxes for these Wicked barbie dolls clearly fucked up because they accidentally linked their website as Wicked.com (a porn site) instead of Wickedmovie.com.

 
 
We deeply regret this unfortunate error and are taking immediate action to remedy this...Consumers who already have the product are advised to discard the product packaging or obscure the link and may contact Mattel customer service for further information
 

 

—Mattel themselves


Behind the Scenes

 
Have these bitches been doing crack cocaine?
The two Dykes of Oz themselves!
 

Because Ariana was so busy having sex with Ethan after stealing him from his high school sweetheart after using her sexually provocative magic to make his shriveled up dick dance all the way to her ridiculously hungry cum rag of a coochie, the producers of the movie had to hire SEVENTEEN actresses that volunteered for their whorehouse of a filming studio to serve as a stunt double in between the scenes of filming and Ariana ravaging the shit out of Ethan's balls in bed. Oh, it looks like Ethan wasn't the only man Ariana casted her hypersexual spell on. That other man was...

Jonathan Bailey!? A homosexual in the real world!?

Cringey Ass Interviews

 
Damn, all that hair bleach must have gotten into Ariana's brain that she didn't know this picture she shared came from a thread dedicated to snarking on her on-screen lesbian affair with Cynthia!
 
Ha ha ha! This guy gets it!
 
They're all going to die from dehydration at this point.
   
 
I am watching you guys in the press tour. You’re obviously in love with each other.
 

 
 

— Paul Mescal of Gladiator II

   
 
We are horrible… insufferable… it’s bad.
 

 
 

— Ariana failing to beat the allegations of her being a half dyke

Drama Llamas

 
Original movie poster
 
 
Original playwright poster
 
 
Fan shoop

Cynthia Erivo, the self-absorbed actress behind Elphaba, the Wicked Witch, got offended because one of her fans made fanart for her. By shadowing out her eyes on the original movie poster, Cynthia saw this as trying to "erase" her and she decided to go full bitch mode over it. Additionally, she was equally offended by an AI generated video of her character having a sissy fight with the pink bitch. Her drama-whoring did nothing to stop the trolls however, and in fact garnered their attention so that more memes and shoops would ultimately be made. It got to a point where she was making burner accounts to fight with the people criticizing her as if she's some cringeworthy kid who specializes in the infamous "Stop Disliking My Videos" videos. Since Elphaba and Glinda are obvious dykes, "Is your pussy green?" eventually became a thing too. Because of how much Ariana battled through the smell of fish after a dozen rounds of group sex just to give her a kiss on the cheek like the queerbaiting puta grande she is, Cynthia thought the two other bitches who could have been Glinda didn't do good enough in terms of making her flick the bean better than her current girlfriend does during a mutual bean-flicking session. Because of her simping for the very singer who really likes to sing about being fucked until her pussy starts to hurt 24/7, those losers who like to feast on their genital fluids as they watch two women fall in love with each other started shipping the two actresses behind the Dykes of Oz in real life.

 

Cynthia Erivo nomming on some chckn.
Cynthia Erivo making a cameo appearance in Mumkey Jones' Madea Movie Marathon.
 
Poor Amanda Seyfried! She spent 5 years trying to earn the role of Glinda before that Grande puta, Ariana, stole the role from her in addition to stealing someone's husband on set.

Ariana Grande-Putana is a promiscuous whore who lured ugly soulless ginger Ethan Slater away from his high school sweetheart. After years of acting nigga-ly to gain attention from the black community, she decided to wash out every ounce of melanin within her for the role of the other Dyke of Oz, Glinda the "Good" Witch who is actually a stuck up bitch both in the movie and in real life. A month after the movie released, the very woman whom Ethan left in favor of Ariana Grande's overused coochie released an essay detailing how depressed she is with the promotion of a movie where her high school sweetheart left her for a hypersexual whore. Time can only tell when Ariana gets sick of ugly Ethan's small dick and moves onto the dick of another married man.

And she has no shame about stealing men from other women!
 
BAWWWWWWW


Everyone calling out Ethan for not keeping his dick in his pants About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


 
No Ariana, Bowen don't want your pussy! But he'll gladly take your brother's dick!

Bowen Yang is a talentless, chinky faggot who blathers nonstop about how much he loves buttsecks to a point where he thinks it's "puritanical" and "unqueer" for a woman to get upset over her high school sweetheart cheating on her because he can't stop dreaming about dicks up his hairy, smelly, shit crusted anus. Ariana is probably the only woman Bowen will kiss the ass of like many gay men would do because they're pretty much hypersexual women stuck inside the body of a man because she "helped" him get a meaningless role in the movie despite him rejecting her pussy in favor of endless dick.

   
 
There is such an unqueer, puritanical Christian way we are approaching marriage in the discourse, Everyone’s being very like, ‘the sanctity of marriage,’ and, of course, it is so much more complicated than that.
 

 
 

—The unfunny faggot failing to accept reality

Fanbase

 
   
 
Audience members at “Wicked,” reports say, are culture-less barbarians who can barely comprehend that they are outside of their own home. They’re a pack of whiny preschoolers who paint their faces green and make a scene as they shriek the songs of Stephen Schwartz to the extreme irritation of those around them.
 

 
 

The New York Post

Let two women be friends, you filthy faggots!

Wicked fangirls are a bunch of obnoxious queers who obsess over a mediocre movie and like making it worse by throwing in a dash of shipping culture. Their primary pastime is appearing at movie theaters to sing along with their ratched voices to songs in the movie and recording scenes from it on their iphones, of course oblivious to the fact they are committing piracy (yet again, not that piracy is real theft anyways. Charging people to view that shitty movie definitely is theft, however. If for some reason you actually wanted to watch this movie, don't go looking around for it on ShitTok; just go to 123movies and spare your ears from the screeching and instead go deaf from the unbearable musical scores.) If I didn't mention already, Wicked fangirls are massive dykes who also obsess over the supposed subtext behind Elphaba and Glinda's implied lesbianism; and if they're not fangirls then they're male lesbian-fetishists. A sequel to the movie called Wicked: For Good was announced and it is rumored to dive deeper into the lesbian aspects of Elphaba and Glinda's life; maybe even featuring a gay kiss. If true, it is expected that the collective reverberation of their squeeing will cause an earthquake so massive that fundamentalists will mistake it for the biblical apocalypse. The lesbian fetishism got so out of hand that even the bitch who said Glinda might be "a little bit in the closet" had to reassure people that she and the green-skinned bitch were not dating in real life.

See Also

Wicked (Movie) is part of the following series:

 
 
[...and then there was a gay orgy.It was a dark and stormy night...]

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