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Jeff Weise
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Jeff Weise (aka 
weise) was an honest-to-God Injun, as well as an angsty teen from Minnesota. These three defining characteristics --His Injun-hood, his angsty teen-hood, and his Minnessotan-hood-- formed the greatest trifecta of Native American rage since Geronimo, leading to the Red Lake High School shoot'em-up. Like most angsty teens and all High School shooters, Jeff was a massive fanboi of famous celebrities Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.
Background
Jeff Weise was born on August 8th, 1988 (8-8-88) in Minneapolis, to a suicidal father and a crazy drunk mother. His dad killed himself after a standoff sometime in 1997, and his mother, being an abusive drunk driver, naturally got into an accident. This caused her to be put into a nursing home for a very long time, which resulted in Jeff Weise being forcibly moved from the city. Jeff was shipped off to a shitty reservation hundreds of miles to the north, in the middle of a cold, underdeveloped miserable reservation in the middle of fuckin' nowhere. He spent the rest of his life living with his Grandfather in a lower-class house.
Jeff, being a goth from outside of the close-minded close-knit town, was naturally severely bullied and outcast. He attempted to an hero twice; once slicing his wrist with a box cutter and creating a massive blood puddle before calling for help and getting drugged out on mass murder pills like Prozac, the same drugs that Eric Harris and countless other school shooters were on. When this was discovered post-massacre, it caused a moderate shitstorm which ended up getting the FDA to get a warning out stating the pills did the exact opposite as intended. To this day, over a decade later, many moronic parents and greedy doctors continue to forcibly poison innocent children with these destructive pills.
Even though he, like most of us, had a horrible experience with the monstrosity that is the American school environment, he managed to make a handful of friends.
The IRL drama
On March 21, 2005, Weise stole 2 handguns and a shotgun and pwned his grandfather and gramps' girlfriend. He then stole his grandfather's police cruiser, crashed it into his school, gunned down a security guard, and pwned 7 more classmates before becoming an hero. Newspapers and TV stations around the nation immediately jumped on the story and masturbated furiously to the topic of school-shootings and violence for several weeks until, flushed and weak in the knees, they finally moved back to the severely more important news schedule of arbitrary missing white women and Lindsay Lohan's latest eating disorder. Naturally, this brief media frenzy ensured a new round of pointless IRL drama combined with the typical routine criticism of Marilyn Manson and the temporary banning of all Hot Topic merchandise from school grounds. Somewhere along the line, some concerned mothers probably got involved as well, but that's shit only they care about.
On the Internets
Before killing himself, Weise was known for his various activities on the internets. He made many posts on various Nazi websites, knowing that Hitler didn't give a fuck about Native Americans and only cared about Germany. Weise also created several violent flash videos on Newgrounds and started a LiveJournal account, where he made 3 brief posts inquiring about cutting, alcoholism, grammatical errors, and other shit nobody cares about.
Jeff Weise was also an active member of Above Top Secret where he described his failed suicide attempt. Unfortunately (or rather fortunately for us at ED) he picked one of the least effective means of suicide - wrist slitting, which has a 2% success rate, thus keeping him live enough to aim for the High Score! After freaking out and seeking medical attention, he was drugged up on the same type of counter-productive mass murder pills as many other school shooters in history.
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Weise Saved Red Lake!
This comment was left on the wikipedia discussion article by a random red lake citizen. How he or she was able to afford internet is a mystery, but the genie is out of the bottle..
Graded Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kills: | 9/20 |
| Accuracy: | 17/20 |
| Style: | 20/20 bonus for looting armor & gun |
| Butthurt: | 17/20 Caused a moderate shitstorm. Nobody was white so nobody cared. |
| Bonus: | 18/20 Stopped his suicide attempt and saved up his angst for greater things. |
| Total score: 81/100 (B-) | |
Video Gallery
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Gallery
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Delicious cake! Also exploitable. -
Grimy injun attention whoring. -
Going into diabetic shock.
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Somehow someone made fanart of him! -
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Deepdream + Weise = this
See Also:
- Minnesota - where shit went down
- Columbine - what he obsessed over
- Kimveer Gill - another goth school shooter
- Super Columbine Massacre RPG - shitty columbine game that he played
- School Shooting
- High Score - he was close to making the top 25!
- Gun
- Goth
- Injun
External links
- Weise's LJ account
- Weise's Newgrounds profile
- Documentary of him made by another injun
- Red Lake 10th anniversary followup
- Jeff's Murderpedia section
- Even acolumbinesite had something on him!
- Jeff's e-grave! lol RIP
- Weed causes school shootings!
- 10th Anniversary Celebration
- Good article on it
- Steam fanclub group
Libertarian National Socialist Green Party (his site of choice)Shut down by the JIDF
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Jeff Weise is part of a series on </3 EMO </3 [Cut] |
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Jeff Weise is part of a series on GOTH [Embrace your inner darkness] |
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| Featured article March 17 & 18, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Nayzak |
Jeff Weise | Succeeded by Robert Casio |
