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Dying alone
The journey of dying alone is not unlike the Noble Eight-Fold Path of Buddhism. One must discipline the body and mind in preparation for alienating everyone who has ever loved or cared for you (if there ever was anyone). The first step in this journey is often a self diagnosis of Assperger's or Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopath). Dying alone is an endeavor which takes a lifetime of dedication.
Dying Alone Checklist
- You "identify" as one or more of
- You hate your family and they don't understand why.
You hate all your ex-girlfriends/boyfriends even though they want to "like" you.lol like you've ever had one.- You have no relationship with your neighbors.(who will only notice/report you because of the stench of decaying flesh).
- You despise humanity and prefer the company of yourself, cats and 'people' you have never met and probably never will.
- You don't have a job. --> Ergo you don't have much money in the bank (less than zero). You don't have a car. You have little content in your wallet (three worn receipts from McDonald's). When/if you wear pants, they're jizz and urine-stained khakis. You're the all-singing (WHEN I WAS), all-dancing (DDR) crap of the world and it's your duty to refuse to participate in the status quo.
- You maxed out all your credit cards on purely selfish pursuits like p0rn, Farmville coins, Runescape, fast food and whiskey. Why bother wasting other people's money on charity when you can spend it all on yourself?
- You're 300lbs, and waiting for your Edward Cullen.
- You seed just to interact with someone.
- Google doesn't even keep a marketing profile on you.
- Facebook is useless, even bots don't add you.
- You make torrents, and hope the creation fails so you have something to do.
- You read spam and pretend its email from friends.
- You send the RIAA your IP logs, and hope they call.
- You post banned content on sites, just so a mod has to look at it to delete it.
- You write about yourself on Encyclopedia Dramatica and no one can tell you aren't joking
- You correct a spelling error in a checklist about you
Those Who Have Died Alone Before Us
- Edgar Allen Poe
- Elvis Presley
Donnie DarkoFAGGOT- Sylvia Plath
- Wacko Jacko
- Anna Nicole Smith
- Emily Dickinson
- Lilo
- Kim Jong Il
- Nikola Tesla
- Ziggy Stardust
- Mitchell Henderson
- Megan Meier
- Jim Morrison
- Noble Six
- H.P. Lovecraft
- Ripper
Chris Benoittook family with him- Kurt Cobain
- Hunter S. Thompson
- Heath Ledger
- Amelia Earnhardt
- Candyjunkie
- Jade Goody
- jloveb
- Amy Winehouse
- Cristopher McCandless
People with the Noble Aspiration of Dying Alone
- Azure-Neon
- Benjamin Rambelle Cohen
- Sonmanic
- Ray_Gordon
- Clayranger89
- Lowtax
- Shane Lee
- Tanner Weed
- Successful Troll
- DaxFlame
- eppigy
- Sailormoonred1
- NeoLobster
- Epic fat guy
- Love-Shys
- Dynacatlovesme
- Pratt
- Updownmostly
- JohnOfE
- Irish282
- Logan sperman
- Camille Marino
- BURK
- nullcherri
- Mariotehplumber
- Avid Sims players
Richard Biggins- BLARGH
- DLB
- Ket
- Sniff Heinkel
- Dorian Thorn
- Nesshelper
- Chris Crocker
- Kevin Havens
- David Hockey
- Pit_Viper
- Your Mom
- Every member of the Psion Guild
- Captain James T. Kirk
- VenomFangX
- Veterans
- Teamfarce
- http://www.youtube.com/user/teamfarce DO NOT WANT
- Realmrsoptimusprime
ImperialHope- Nadine Schweigert- She wants to die alone so badly that she MARRIED HERSELF.
- Phil Fish
People Who Deserve To Die Alone
- Franky
- Angelic-Catalyst
- Randomlaughingman
- TTT
- Fred
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto
- DisneyFan01
- Psychweasel
- Jimmy Weaver
- Anonymous Borg
- Argent009
- Longseet
- Black Jesus
- Psychweasel
- Fred
- Kimmo Johan Alm
- Blaze Arctic
- Bill122460
- DrMusic2
- Chismah
- Spax3
- Perez Hilton
- Dane Cook
- Jimbo Wales
- Richard Dawkins
- Anthony Merino
- Fred
- W
- Jade O'Leary
- Dorian Thorn
- Chris-chan
- Cosplayers
- Jack Thompson
- OJ Simpson
- Furries
- Ponyfags
- Reverend Fred Phelps
- Mission: MySpace
- Cancerr
- Fred
- Psychweasel
- SephirothPrincess941
- WAXLABLTABLER
- Niggers
- DBoyWheeler
- Fred
- Peter Popoff
- Psychweasel
- Tourneyfags
- Kenny Glenn
- Liberals
- Republicans
- Jews
- Fred
- Fred
- Rose
- BLACKbusterCritic
- The Eclectic Espeon
- DizzyMissLizzi
- I Dislike Cis People
- Lizzy the Lezzy
- MLP Forums Users
- Wendy-Testaburger, Weegeeisgoingtokillm,Weegeeisgoingtokillme, Mahboy, whatever you want to call him.
- Rodheh (devianTART & YTMND user who will most likely die alone because more apparently important people think he's a "sperg".)
- Comradvolk (Another YTMND user who MIGHT die alone based on whether or not there's enough vodka after the storm hits.)
- Masochistic-Wolfie
- William Marshburn, Faggoty-ass nerd from Bremerton WA
- The users of Colony Drop, a hardcore and edgy Reject Weeaboo bukkake attempt to have other weeabbos and all of Japan to suck off of their dongs out of a starved ego and long lasting virginity
- You
- Hothead the mare
See Also
- An Hero
- Avoidance
- Basement dweller
- BBWchan
- Brony
- Cuddle Party
- Dead Inside
- Forever Alone
- Hover hand
- Jenkem
- Lonely
- Onigojirakaiju
- Pixelmari - A trap weeaboo that is trying to die alone.
- Pruno
- Sex_game
- Totse
External Links
- Loner who built network of tunnels out of rubbish in his home dies alone after getting lost in labyrinth.
- The incel project,a site intended to promote awareness of involunatary celibacy.
|
Dying alone is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article February 14, 2009 | ||
| Preceded by Last Thursday |
Dying alone | Succeeded by So i herd u liek mudkip |
| Featured article February 14, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by Jim Sterling |
Dying alone | Succeeded by Null |