Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Now/May 20, 2023

Vampire

In Storytown Village, vampires are lithe, seductive, hypnotic creatures of the night who revel in bacchanalian pleasure-seeking and live wild and erotic unlives, who actually used to be cool. In Reality: clumsy, fat, socially inept, sartorially blinded fuck-ups that are so pathetic even the goths won't hang out with them anymore, who were never cool. Vampires are social rejects bent on acquiring AIDS from licking the blood off their 'victims' fingers in an odd, retarded expression of a fetish (which they claim isn't a fetish).

They try their best to mimic their mythological counter-parts; whether by slathering themselves in white make-up, wearing fake-fangs to "feel their Inner Predator" or by actually drinking blood, depending on the level of retardedness of the individual. Either way, they are a great source of epic lulz as their general lack of social skills lend them to be rather oblivious and egotistical.

Put simply, vampires are emo kids who have the gay gene turned up to 11. Aside from furries and otherkin, 'vampires' are probably the easiest group of societal ejaculate to troll.

(( Goth And Emo's Embarrassing Little Sister That They Want No One To Know About ))

What have I missed?	Divide by zero 2 days ago	Black Lives Matter 4 days ago	Nihilism 6 days ago