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ForeverKailyn

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"ForeverKailyn" (now MsKailynMarie) aka Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is an obese, lazy, white trash socialite and self-proclaimed Youtube beauty guru from Bowie, Maryland. Kailyn has been shitting out Youtube videos since 2007. She currently holds the world record for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to her soul mate, Chris Chan.

Hello Everyjuaaan!

The most notoriety Kai has ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9.

As of February 2014, Kailyn has gone into hiding after her most recent scandal.

On March 2, 2014, Kailyn's newest Youtube channel, mskailynmarie, was suspended for violations. She has since privated her vlog channel, Kailyn vlogs. When asked about what happened, she of course said "Someone was able to get my account suspended. I'm not sure how or why. I didn't do anything wrong." Unfortunately, it was only a 24-hour suspension and she is back. She gives a cockroach a run for its money. She would probably survive a nuclear blast.

   
 
Even the president makes mistakes
 

 
 

—Kai, coming back from one of her scandals

   
 
I don't have a disability ass
 

 
 

—Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes

   
 
This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.
 

 
 

—Trying to pronounce Taj Mahal

   
 
People go off their diet on the weekend
 

 
 

—Stuffing her face on BlogTV

   
 
I have peroid dummy
 

 
 

—Trying to be the baddest bitch while refuting pregnancy rumors

   
 
It smells like... Paris amour.
 

 
 

Accurately describing the fragrance notes in Paris Amour

   
 
This is pink slice
 

 
 

—Attempting to say Pinksickle

   
 
I don't have gentle herpes.
 

 
 

—ForeverKailyn

   
 
This is rosebud slave
 

 
 

—Pronouncing rosebud salve

   
 
Sanba? Samba?
 

 
 

—Pronouncing scuba

   
 
Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)
 

 
 

—Before she spent $1000 over 3 months on drugstore make-up for herself

   
 
Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not
 

 
 

—ForeverDelusional

   
 
I need to be respons...ibilities
 

 
 

—ForeverResponsible


Sunflower Associations

Personal Life & Family

 
Meet the Wilchers

Disability ass demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai ("k-eye"), Kailyn Kardashian, ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaivman, Gorilla, FAS rere, Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) was birthed on May 18th 1990 to Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) and dirty beaner Michael Wilcher (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher, Papa Wheelie). It is believed that Kailyn was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome which has given her a lulzy speech impediment, a compulsive giggle exhale, retard induced cuntiness, and a fuck load of narcissism. Kai's parents are separated yet live together, and it's alleged that Papa Wheelie moved back to the Beige Mansion because he couldn't afford to live on his own while continuing to support the Wilcher ladies. Kai lives as a "stay-at-home daughter" at the Beige Mansion in Bowie (aka Booie), which is decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor, and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups.

 
FAS evolution

As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato was retarded and deformed, Kai was doomed forever. Mama Wilsher enrolled her little shit-for-brains in various elementary schools before pulling her out of retard classes, using the excuse that the DC Sniper was on the loose, or so she reasoned. Instead of mainstream classes, MW homeschooled Kai at The Sunflower Academy (aka the kitchen table). Homeschool enabled Kai to rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her bedroom (formally Pink Dungeon) while Mama did all of Kai’s homework/worksheets, which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her moron of a mother, Kai has never been told she has any disabilities, even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom unique to only those with FAS, and admits she was thoroughly retard-tested as a small demon.

Lisa works from an in-home salon converted from her garage, Lisa's Hair Shanty, twice a week doing old lady perms for the neighborhood hags while getting inebriated. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, enabling mother is her best friend, but in reality she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.

To support his pride and joy, Michael doles out his hard earned pension dollars to the Wilcher ladies every month, formerly working for a courthouse cleaning air vents and polishing floors.

Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski (aka Uncle-daddy Stephen, Uncle Acne); his wife and Kai's archenemy; her 8 year old cousin, Eli (who all live with granny, Dorothy Sokoloski). Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling and cam girl scandal. She's proud that when he passed, she didn't even cry.

The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for giving her pizza face genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being a walrus.

 
HAYYYY GUYTH!



Diet & Hygiene

Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, Mama Alchy hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from stinking up the mansion too much.

 
Seriously greasy bangs!

To add to the smell, the fat cow has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the Pretty Ladies comment on the obese whale's weight, and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the PLs estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and as of early 2017, are convinced she's well over 250 lbs. She now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers, all of which MW's magic mirror can no longer hide.

 
…Damn, girl!




SEE IMGUR ALBUM OF THE KWEEN’S FAVORITE FOODS.



Friends

Besides superficial friendships with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend who is no longer her friend because she's a darkie. Kai gushed on YT about having a friend who sent her a necklace that says "you're my person", but the PLs are convinced her only real friend is Amy Zon. Her penpals don't count, because there's no way to confirm how many of them are real, and how many are actually haydurs. Occasionally, Kai will elude to going out "with a friend" but it can only be deduced that it's MW or the latest CPW (car/penis/wallet).

Bella

Lisa bought Kai her one and only true best friend, Bella, a derpy mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars under the guise of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would love Bella even if she was a horse". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion (because she never gets to go outside) she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the fart wars in the Lavender Dungeon, or holed up inhaling fumes in The Shanty. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly". Recent information has surfaced that Bella has never been registered with their local municipality. This makes one wonder if this dog has ever seen a veterinarian or been vaccinated. We know that Lisa 'grooms' the dog, which could only mean she's never been professionally groomed.

Animal Abuse



David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011)

 
 

David (aka Davit) is Kai's only love. They started dating when Kai was a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is a fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up aborting the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline including camming, shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a 3-some with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for trannies and dykes to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on BlogTV to appease trolls telling her to do it for the lulz, and soon after ended the relationship for good.


Kai's Big Party


After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.

Kailyn Spilling the Beans & David's Response




David Has Passed Away


Tragically, David passed away in early July of 2015. When Kailyn found out about this, she immediately began posting old photos of the two of them together (mostly inappropriate ones, like her in a bikini) and was talking about how he and she had all their 'firsts' together. She immediately began 'friending' all David's Facebook friends in order to find out when the funeral was and get a ride (because Lisa wasn't going to take her). The day after the funeral, she posted her 'funeral makeup' and a 'funeral selfie' with a friend (who was really trolling her by standing with Kailyn's infamous leg pop/hand on hip pose), in both of which she was grinning. On the selfie, she even posted the caption "we look fab" with a backdrop of the funeral home and hearse. This 'friend' specifically asked that Kailyn NOT post the picture on social media, but Kailyn being Kailyn, ignored this person's request and posted it anyway because she is a sociopath and doesn't care about other people's feelings. Needless to say, her behavior during this sad event was inappropriate and put another strain on her already sham of a marriage. Matt was NOT happy.

 
 
Funeral Selfie
 



















She even looked up his birth flower as an idea for a new tattoo.


 

Matt (Husband, 2011-2016)

 
© MoarFail Cartoon Lady, 2011-2012. We miss you gurl.
 
Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow.

Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby) is a fat, dough-faced, retarded fag loving piece of white trash living in Maryland's "country" who formerly worked as a cart-pusher at Wallyworld. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish while he was still dating Maureen Lewis. As usual, Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.

On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulzy wedding bells were heard across Maryland State. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the elegant St. Mary's County courthouse. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a Vintage McDonald's Manager's uniform. None of the Wilchers or Hughes were in attendance.

Matt has shown sexual interest in the gays by pretending to hate them, and even making his potato head wife go to church to cure her of bisexualism.


NIGGER ALERT

Mooren

 
The torn lovers

Maureen Elizabeth Lewis (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane inbred welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a lulzy speech impediment. Momo is a product of her father and aunt’s sexual affair, and was living in a cockroach infested trailer with her rapist father, Elmore Lewis, before he went to prison. Matt denied knowing the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [1][2]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy obsessed stalking ensued.

   
 
weally, madd? weally? ...weally?
 

 
 

—Maureen Lewis, stalking Madd

 


Mooren found forums and blogs online dedicated to trolling the FAS Kween and started posting dirt on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally filmed her encounter [3] with her ex, Matt. The crazy nignog has since slowed her antics, but is still stalking the couple.

These days, trolls will only bait her for the lulz as she is now in her own delusional competition with the Kween and is desperate to get impregnated by a POF sperm whale. In Mooren’s freetime, she learns how to play guitar steals other people’s shitty guitar covers and sings over them. Some of her better songs have been turned into music videos based on the Booie socialites’ love triangle via the Kween’s trolls and Sims characters. [4] [5]

Married Life (2012-2016)

 
Lookin' tho thtunnin' on her weddin' day
 
honeymoon at the local lake

As of 2014, Kai and Madd live separately with their parents. Kai continues to live with her caregiver in Bowie while Matt lives with his white trash parents, Mary C. Hughes and Todd D. Hughes, and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, Amber, in Leonardtown. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but has realized his wife is a hideous whale and now only visits once a month to pump his whale full of sperm.

When the PLs confronted her about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt lived with her in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after PLs found her uploading to instagram with geotags in Madd's location. It was clear that in the beginning, Matt believed Kai was internet famous and thought he would get worshipped, but the haydurs have since drove him off the internets. Soon after this revelation, Matt began controlling Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.

Rape Accusations

 
MW's ghostwriting

On October 2, 2013, well prior to their divorce, Kailyn and Matt allegedly raped their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the PLs after a PL pretending to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that herself and hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning. The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a "misunderstanding". After realizing she had managed to turn even the most politically correct, social justice communities against her, she deleted everything.

Prennicy (2013)

 
She's not showing yet.

The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having long been a useless waste of space, decided to get desperate for a purpose. Afterall, how else would she get away with not having to work and continue to collect SSDI for the next 18 years? Luckily, the Sokoloski women have a multigenerational cycle they have mastered to lock down financial income, called the Sokoloski Cycle:

Step 1: get hitched quickly
Step 2: get knocked up instantly
Step 3: separate from your husband
Step 4: demand money “for the child

Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 aborted itself in March of 2013. However, have no fear--in October 2013---our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 (on the night of the aforementioned rape), and is currently expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be government leech. Kai continues to purchase hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month despite the anticipation of her retarded potato spawn's arrival.


Our Kween was thrilled to find that she would be having a girl to add to the Sokoloski Cycle. Surprising absolutely no one, the mini slack-jawed demon has already proven to be an incompetent little retard after Kai announced that her doctor had a really difficult time measuring the fetus’ nuchal translucency, which is the first common sign of Down’s. Whether the mini demon will be a retard because hubby punched Kai in the stomach (needs citation), Kai was drinking while trying to conceive or because it will be coming from two long lines of brainless morons, little rere demon Gracie Marie Wilcher-Hughes will make its appearance in the world, dead or alive, in July 2014.


Because Kai has no real friends (despite "her person"), Mama Alchy held two baby showers for the spoiled brat; one at the in-laws Callaway Baptist Church with a bunch of strangers, and the other in their Booie home. To fill up space, Lisa paid off invited Kai's childhood friends that she hadn't seen in years.


It is believed that the Kween suffered from multiple health problems during her pregnancy (which she vehemently denied, even though she couldn't *giggle exhale* without sounding like a dying fish out of water). She gained a large amount of weight, and it was suspected that Gestational Diabetes was a cause. Kai admitted to having "hardly hypertension" in the months after the birth, along with issues with her juan layg.

Pregnancy Vlog Sample


RIP in Pieces Kailyn's Marriage

In November, 2014, the truth was finally revealed. Kailyn could not lie anymore about Matt living with them. They 'officially' separated that month and divorce papers were filed by Matt in December of 2015 (they needed to be separated for a minimum of one year before they could file). Of course Kailyn, being the simple rere that she is, had no clue (nor did she care) about what the process entailed and was mostly worried about the money being spent for a lawyer instead of being spent on her. The fist pounds could be heard for miles. The divorce court hearing took place on February 25, 2016.

It was early 2016 when Kai transformed her Madd tattoo into the monstrosity of the black, lacy bow it is today.

Update: The divorce was final as of August 2, 2016 and cost the Wilchers upwards of $5,000, even though no formal visitation schedule, child support or alimony payments were finalized as part of the divorce. It is understood that Kai was bored throughout much of the proceedings and had to undergo a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation to determine just wtf is wrong with the gorilla. Kailyn did a "My Divorce" video that is full of untruths (of course). Now she can start searching....oh wait, she has already been searching...for a new CPW. For over a year - well before she and Matt were 'officially' separated - Kailyn trolled OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish (among other dating sites) looking for Madd 2.0.

Hunt for a New Man (or Woman--she's bi, y'all)

Recently, she has had several 'coffee dates' at Thtarbucks, where her mom drives her to meet her unsuspecting victims. Of course, she lets them pay for her $6 cup of sugared cream with a dash of coffee. (The Wilcher women NEVER pay!). Not surprisingly, Kai has had many failed dates, including meeting men who told her that she was too fat, too smelly and even one who insulted just about everything about her but still managed to fuck her in the backseat of his hooptie (he was "tho mean"). Needless to say, she never heard from him again. Kai was even catfished into sending nudes to some of her prospects who turned out to be Pretty Ladies in disguise. These little setbacks never deter her, because every time noods are leaked, she will do some level of rage deleting on her social media accounts (occasionally making a YT video or IG post about how she needs to stop being so trusting of strangers), but then it's business as usual.

 
Leaked picture
 
Another leaked picture
 
Boohoo!







 
Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.

Gracie Marie Hughes

Kai gave birth to her crotch spawn Gwathe Mawee Huges on June 28th, 2014, via C-section as per her fist-pounding request to her doctor. Gracie had a bowel blockage in the womb, and underwent emergency surgery after birth, spending her first week of life in the NICU. During this time, BBgorilla sat at home on her acne-ridden ass, stuffing her face with ranch-dipped veggie crithphth while keeping the health of her baby a secret. She did not visit Grace in the hospital. Maltt moved in after Gracie's birth, and he made her keep all pictures of the baby off the interwebs. Kailyn broke her vow of "safety for her baybeh", after the Wilcher pool closed for the summer, resulting in Maltt's mental breakdown. He took his frogs and his HDTV, and moved back in with his parents.


Many pictures of Guh-racie were then shared on her Instagram, much to the glee of everyone. However, the realization quickly dawned on all that the crotch spawn was being neglected. A flat head due to lying on her back in a cot all day, severely delayed development, and 4 day old poop pants were just some of the things users called Kai out on, but their comments were quickly deleted. Much of Kai's Instagram consisted of videos featuring herself and Grace, with BB yelling at the baby to "SAAAAAAAY HIIIII", even though she was only 6 months old, and telling Grace what a cute puppy she was. It has been speculated that Gwathee may have Down Syndrome, but this has yet to be confirmed.


Throughout this time, Kai continued to spend her $600 monthly govmint check on makeup and clothes, not food or clothing for her spawn. Gracie had received many items of clothing at the two baby showers that Kai fist-pounded for, and yet she was only ever seen in 3 or 4 different outfits. BBgorilla never took baby Grace anywhere outside the house, and frequently left her at home with Drunky to eat clucks and fries with Maltt at Red Robin. Both Maltt and Kai also spent money during this time building up a collection of shitty garage parlor tattoos.


The stans continued to question Kai over her negligence, as the dummy continued to post evidence for all to see. More examples include putting the crotch-spawn in over-sized clothes and gigantic toddler bibs, incorrectly buckling the belt in the babies car seat (on the rare occasion Gracie got to leave the house), and the fact that Gwathee still was unable to crawl properly at 9 months. So Kaikai removed all pictures of the baybeh from her Insta in March 2015. Hope was fading, as Mama Wheelchair told the hambeast in her alcohol-ridden rage that "Gracie will have a stupid life," if things continued at the rate they were going. With Maltt's mental issues, Gracie's specialness, MamaW's drinking, and the continuous questioning from her stans, it all became too much for BB. She cracked, and deleted her Instagram on the 10th April, 2015.

Update: So basically nothing has changed except for the fact that Gracie gets more delayed as the days go by. She has now passed her first birthday, and is still not talking or even making many noises. She appears to have a type of cranial deformity as evidenced by a noticeable bump in the middle of her forehead. She still has not been enrolled in any Mommy & Me classes or even taken to the park. A swing was installed in the Wilcher's back yard and she gets taken out and put in this mostly for photo ops. Her birthday celebration was notable for garish decor and cupcakes. Of course, all of the 'huge' Wilcher/Sokoloski family was in attendance. It was the event of the year.......not. Gracie got gifts. This included ONE book, titled "Baby's First Words". Hopefully, both Kailyn and Gracie will study this carefully and learn to speak properly, though I don't think Kailyn has opened any of the handful of books that Gracie has received.

Update August 14, 2016: Gracie has miraculously survived two full years in the Wilcher house. She recently went to her 2-year well-child checkup and the doctor recommended that if Gracie wasn't talking by 2.5 years, she should have speech therapy (or that is how Kailyn's rere brain interpreted it/Lisa told her). Videos of the child show that she is clearly speech delayed and needs this NOW, but none of the people in that house give a rat's ass about that kid (Grandpa Silverback is the only one who shows true joy when interacting with Gracie). Needless to say, she is doomed.

The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations

KaiKhaod [chaos] began her Youtube career in 2007 with a misspelled username and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being high as a motherfucking kite which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, xSparkage, and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.

The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynsKreations, which was also rage-deleted when a new scandal emerged.

Face Routine: Kai's First Video



The YouTube Sensation

ForeverKailyn (Deleted)

Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter. Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and averaging between 1,000-3,000 views, it has taken Kai several years to get to such shitty success. Kai had her Google ad revenue disabled almost as soon as it was granted due to the Kween clicking her own ads in hopes for bigger paychecks[6]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and, in the past, outfit of the day (OOTD) videos which have ceased due to overexerting her fatass to show an outfit. Occasionally, Mama would forget to give Kai her aspie meds and Kai would upload videos of her singing and dancing or babbling about nothingness. Rating are always disabled on her channels because the rating bar is always red.

Day in the life of an escorted Kween:


Hair Extension Demo:

SincerelyKailyn

Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly vlog targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and in the end - pregnancy vlogs which involve her reading a pregnancy app on her iphone 4 not 4s.



MsKailynMarie

After a record-breaking 4 day hiatus in February 2014, the Kween realized life sucks being locked up in the Lavender Dungeon, so she came crawling back to the internet. Hubby was very disappointed that she had blabbed about the rape allegations and gave her a beating, thus the Kween decided it would be more responsible to adopt the “Ms” prefix in Hubby's respect.

She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.


 
 
As much as I would love to share my pregnancy with my subscribers, it is best I do not. When events go beyond the slanderous posting of comments, it becomes harassment.
 

 

—ForeverButthurt


Infamous Scandals

 
Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.

Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big scandal a year. When the mean pretty lady trolls catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween rage-deletes her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.

N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating

In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the moron forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.

Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of nickles until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny pedos to help her delete her account.

In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using Craigslist to look for random sexcapades, announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the Craigslist girls took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


ForeverPoor

 
 
Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.


Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.


 
 
Making beauty videos is my career.
 

 

—Foreverkailyn, on why she doesn't have a job


Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has went as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her pretend interview to shut up the trolls but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, holiday money, and Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since she created her own internet-meets-reality demise. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!

Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever".

The job that got away

Pink Wednesday

After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her free shit in return for a useless, aspie review video. An upcoming company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of pseudo-products produced by none other than an internet troll. When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a video fishing for sympathy.

Pink Wednesday Fiasco


Kaivman Vocab & Phrases

Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her disability ass and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own Kaivman language, usually referred to as Kaisms.


  • materny laygins: maternity leggings
  • 'ply: apply
  • tho: so
  • quessioneer: questionaire
  • Ta Jay Mai Hai: Taj Mahal
  • pink slice: pinksickle
  • albertross: albatross
  • prennit: pregnant
  • limmidishon: limited edition
  • hallow every Juan: hello everyone
  • ith: It's
  • Davit: David
  • Madd: Matt
  • eeewwguyth: you guys
  • thuper: super
  • husbint: husband
  • katvondy: Kat Von D
  • weddin' wild: Wet & Wild
  • buddin: button
  • drewberry moore: Drew Barrymore
  • cowide: cow hide
  • Rosebud slave: Rosebud salve
  • Shore: sure
  • cayoot: cute
  • stuneen: stunning
  • priddy: pretty
  • trentin cream: tretinoin cream
  • snifficently: significantly
  • sowrecksy: siouxsie

(This section is ForeverUnfinished)

Miscellaneous

The Stunning Kween About missing Pics
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Troll Artistry

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls About missing Pics
Creations courtesy of UC/MoarFail.
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]





See also


Accounts & External Linkage



& etc.:


 

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Featured article April 3rd & 4th, 2014
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