Schizophrenia

Unlike fake TV psychics, people with schizophrenia are the real thing. Although some call them crazy, this is untrue. Schizophrenics see into other planes of existence, parallel universes, the future, etc. Of course the human mind cannot handle all that, so these people can't use their powers for world domination, like a responsible person would. Instead they use their powers to walk around frightening children and smelling of urine.

It can be difficult to distinguish a schizophrenic who thinks he is Lassie from a fetishist who just wishes he was. Looking at such an ugly picture can make a person go crazy, though.

The fact of the matter is, you are a personality existing merely inside the mind of realized schizophrenics. You have been imagined and the reading of this causes you to question the possibility that when you convinced yourself of being real, you weren't actually in control. No more need for denial, your thoughts aren't even your own, seeing as you don't actually exist. Congratulations, this is the completion of the game, this is the meaning of your existence. But please, continue.

Schizophrenia is not the exact same thing as split personality disorder, but often makes someone whom has been diagnosed more susceptible to trolling (if he is not smart) or hypochondria (if he is stupid).

It is very important that schizophrenics take their medication regularly to prevent them from falling up off the Earth. If you are chatting with a new acquaintance OL who seems like an extraordinary wackjob, asking "Have you stopped taking your meds?" is the dramatic thing to do. If the person doesn't seem crazy, throw in the question anyway, just to liven up conversation. Britney Spears is severely schizophrenic, as well as being diagnosed with several other mental disorders.

Pseudo-Schizophrenia has been popular amongst the emo, scene, and faggoth.

Paranoid Schizophrenia

The paranoid type have used their psychic abilities to fully comprehend the true motives of those around them.

Ideologically induced Schizophrenia

3rd wave Feminists are told that this thing called 'The Patriarchy' exists, however they have no proof. as most 3rd wave feminists are rabid fucking whores with nothing better to do than gain weight or bitch and moan they will willingly hallucinate about the 'The Patriarchy' and let their delusions bleed into reality.

Other Examples of this include:
Christians and the 'Holy Spirit'
Muslims and 'Allah'
Statists and 'The Omnipotent State'
Jews and Christians with 'Yahweh'
People who will Die alone and Tulpas

Online Help With Diagnosing Schizophrenia

• Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline
  • "If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press."
• Predisposition to Schizophrenia - Free Online Screening Test
  • "The best thing about being schizophrenic is that you're never alone."
• east101 at Vampirefreaks.com
  • "Congratulations! You are schizophrenic! You know how to space out for hours at a time in a corner and that The Dark Master is not joking..... keep on tossin' those word-salads... dress mess bless!" --east101's profile
• Horsesass.com -- Politics As Unusual
  • "You are the morally bankrupt one on ASSes, one of the three dull knives. How does it feel to be known as a dull knife? How does it feel knowing your political opponents best you every day? How does it feel knowing you are schizophrenic?" --Puttybud
• Miss Taupok
  • "Dear Miss Taupok, You make me so fat. You should crawl under a rock and hibernate there till you get flattened and burn off all your flubber Someday I will make sure sing a song of the skies and all your beautiful friends. You = a goldfish in a fish tank.. If I saw you now I’d quickly shut my eyes and dance a tribal rain dance. I would build an army of cute guys just for you. I would get your name tattooed on my boyfriends armpit that says Prootproot. If I could sing you any song it would be ding dong bell We could drink the cool night breeze under the stars. My love for you is like that of a self-battering narcissist -- Love, Miss Taupok (P.S. I think you must be schizophrenic.)"
• Why me?
  • "Other studies have also found links between the parasite and schizophrenia. T. gondii infection is known to damage astrocytes, support cells in the brain that are also affected during schizophrenia. Pregnant women with high levels of antibodies to the parasite are also more likely to give birth to children who will develop the disorder."

See Also

• Fake Schizophrenia — not schizophrenia
• Paranoia
• Religion
• Demon
• Jared Lee Loughner
• Weev
• Vampire
• Angel
• E-psychiatry
• Psion Guild
• Crazy Dad
• Avery Chicoine
• Erik Ribsskog
• Randomlaughingman
• A frank discussion of mental illness
• Psychochondria

External Links

• An example of schizophrenia in action
• An example of paranoid schizophrenia in action
• An example of disorganized schizophrenia in action
• An example of catatonic schizophrenia in action
• Another fine e-schizo

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Schizophrenia is part of a series on Psychology

Schizophrenia is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.