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Konami

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Konami is a video game company media conglomerate from Japan that is responsible for the likes of parasitic dancing games, card games (courtesy of screwing Upper Deck in the ass out of Yu-Gi-Oh cards) and shitty stealth-based games with more emphasis on cutscenes than actual gameplay. The company has also been known to produce action figures, Olympics training facilities in Japan and anime, usually involving loli.

It was a known fact that Konami was an advocate of Nazism back in the 80's and 90's.

History

In the 1980s, Konami had a reputation for producing brilliant titles on the NES that many a gamer would play for hours on end. Around that time, Nintendo was the industry's mod and limited its third party companies to producing only a handful of titles every year for its NES, believing that it's the authoritive power of the game industry. In response, Konami established a fake company known as Ultra Games that distributed more of its crap into the states, as well as a European equivalent called Palcom.

Nao

As the late 90's passed by, Konami's developers woke up and smelled the coffee. They figured that if they start making games with painfully drawn out and nonsensical storylines, they could make millions and release more of them. Additionally, they thought of producing lackluster music games which would soon spawn to numerous sequels, titles and spin-offs, providing more J-Pop crap to satisfy the weeaboo crowd. But since other game companies out there are giving more drama to their fans, Konami is an entity that not many people would care about.

The Konami Code

In almost every single one of its games, Konami puts in a special cheat code that gives lesser players extra lives or power-ups. While using the code in the NES version of Contra gives you thirty lives, they've managed to pull a dick move on players who'd enter the same code in the Super NES port of Gradius III, which destroys your ship instead of giving you full power-ups.

↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A START

KNOW THE FUCKING CODE


 
A screenshot from the upcoming Gradius VI for PlayStation 3.

FACT

The only reason for the survival of Konami is Metal Gear Solid.

Other Games

Gallery

See Also

 

Konami is part of a series on

Gaming

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