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Kaputsky
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Kaputsky (a.k.a. Mikau) is your typical, fun-loving Pichu, who makes it very clear by making a profile description that's TOTALLY KAWAII!!!! =^.^= As many FurAffinity faggots do, he makes an honest living requesting free art and BEGGING to be on people's friends list. Even though he's a Pichu fetishist, he refuses to acknowledge the fact that Pichu is indeed a baby Pokémon, therefore making him a pedophile. He currently resides in North East, Maryland, USA. His cell phone number is 302-757-2470, drop him a line or text him sometime!
Friendwhore
In his spare time, Kaputsky enjoys browsing Furaffinity, asking complete strangers to draw art for him (and blocking them if they refuse), and making cute emoticons to use in chat and IM. Above all, however, his favorite activity is hunting down every possible group of friends listed on other people's profiles or journal headers/footers, and sucking dick to be on it. However, the victim actually needs to fucking like him if they were to consider him a friend (and they don't).
Sometimes, he'll even go as far as asking people who are already in the friends list to refer them, and to put in a good word. The stupider furfags say "Umm... Sure, why not?" and add him. Why does he do this? To increase his popularity on the site, because the clever Pichu realized that the more people see his shit-eating grin on Furaffinity, the more pageviews he shall obtain.
—Kaputsky, looking to score some dog ass, the sick fuck. | ||
—Kaputsky, displaying his extensive knowledge of music. | ||
Oh yeah, did we mention he is also a racist idiot? Mike often insults others based on their race or even just their damn location whenever he gets the chance while raeging, thinking they always make good comebacks (which just makes him more stupid in the process). Even when he isn't being a tardraging dumbass, he still assumes politically incorrect shit of others, even during harmless IM chats.
Pedophilia
Due to the fact that Mike enjoys raping Pichu in his free time, it makes him a pedophile. He denies it, saying that Pichu isn't a baby, and how he's "NOT into that shit." But everyone knows it's a simple cover so that he can continue fucking them unhampered. He even acts like a baby when he's with his "Daddy;" a fat, dog fucking, incestuous black and blue Raichu named Kaji.
Easy trolling? Go and ask him how he can possibly be even aroused by a baby. Explain to him that Pichu must be a baby, because he is a predecessor to Pikachu. Even Pichu's Pokedex information indicates it's not fully grown, and is a baby.
—Taken straight from the Pokémon Diamond Pokedex, proof that Mike is a pedophile. Other Pokedex entries indicate more or less the same thing. | ||
Here's to hoping that baby-fucker gets arrested soon. It'll certainly make both the world and the Poke-World a safer place, for babies and Pichu alike.
Relationships
Over the course of the 2 years he's been on FA, he's had at least over 9000 relationships. Whenever he doesn't have a mate (which is hardly ever), he stresses the fact that he isn't currently in a relationship by setting his current mood to "lonely" and acting all embarrassed and flirty to everybody he talks to, even to complete strangers.
List Of Relationships
This list isn't complete, not even close, mostly because hardly anybody can even keep track of how many internet relationships he goes through a day. More will be added soon.
pichupal -- "OMG SOMEBODY WHO SHARES MY TOTALLY KAWAII OPINION ON PICHU!!!!!11!" This one didn't last long either. Also, Mike keeps sending this furfag hate PMs like some stalker or secret admirer, all while keeping him blocked so he can't respond. Why? Because he was butthurt over the fact that pichupal got to somebody else first and started bawwing like a bitch. Today, he continues this, with much lulz provided in every new message.
- arcynine -- Some 13 year old kid Kaputsky asked out. Once he found out he lived all the way out in Europe, the relationship began to slowly deteriorate.
- bloodclaw -- Kaputsky decided to get together with Bloodclaw. The next day, he broke up with him because he found out that he had a fart fetish. It just comes to show how little he knows about people when he asks them to be his boyfriend.
- Isaac Cooney -- Mike's most recent relationshit. At the tender age of 16, he's already the definition of "Furfag", tending to wear a tail at school and around his parents. When asked why he does so, he happily declares that he's a furry, something we're all quite sure that his parents are proud of. He lives in Harford, MD, only a little ways away from the recently-turned-18 Michael Casto. Shortly after the addition of his newest relationship on this article, Isaac decided he didn't like the stressful conditions he was being put under. He broke up with Mike soon after. Total elapsed time? Roughly 4 days, a new record!
Isaac Cooney off during their whole 4 day relationship assuming this will alleviate his humiliation.—Isaac making the right decision, staying far away from Mike and his immature antics. | ||
- slashthehedgie -- Mike's attention whoring, fat fuck of a father, who happens to love dog cock, incest, and pedophilia as much as he does. His purpose is to satisfy Mike's urges for some niggerchu action on his little, Pichu anus.
Emoticons
Kaputsky seems to be quite the little inventor of text emotes, each one some incoherent mess that takes anybody who looks at them about 10 seconds to realize what it's supposed to represent. He uses these emotes everywhere. Such emotes consist of the following:
- '///';
- T.//////.T;
- ._._.;
- './////.'
- :1
- >//ω//<
- -3-
- -w-
- >3<
- V~V;
- :#<
- -//.\\-;
- '^'
- >o<
- ;~;
- /w\;
—Kaputsky trying to spread his views of world-wide faggotry. | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Advice Mike
Some victims of his online faggotry rebelled and began making Advice Mikes. Here are all of the known ones.
Paw Lovin Goodness
Kaputsky makes it extremely obvious that he's a dirty little Pawslut as well. If he's not begging for furry art, he's out pawing off to some smelly paws.
Casto, the footslut that he is, released pictures of his perfect feet. Here they are, archived forever.
—Kaputsky, wanting to lick some dirty paws. | ||
—Kaputsky, enjoying the thought of slobbering all over some furfag's paw. | ||
See Also
External Links
Contact Information
- MSN/YIM: [email protected]
- Skype: mikau.the.pichu
- XBox Live: Gameboy Breaker
- Cell #: 302-757-2470
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Kaputsky is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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Kaputsky is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
