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ForeverKailyn
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
This is an old revision of this page, as edited by imported>LPB at 10:54, 23 February 2014. It may differ significantly from the current revision.
In actuality, she is a shit-talker, as well as a fabulous source of entertainment, endless scandals, and drama. She's also a fat, lazy unemployed cunt who still lives in her childhood bedroom despite being married and pregnant. Kailyn has had multiple sites dedicated to her, her trolls, and her numerous mishaps.
In addition to being "home-schooled" and heavily sheltered by her dip-fucking-shit mother, it is speculated that Queen Kai suffers from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, although she claims she is not disabled. However, her lack of basic social skills, reasoning skills, reading ability and lack of common sense say otherwise. She has admitted to being tested in her younger years. It is speculated that her mother hides her condition from Kailyn herself, which is why Kailyn denies it when asked.
—ForeverKailyn trying to pronounce NARS Taj Mahal blush
“
Everyone gives up their diet on the weekend.
„
—ForeverKailyn on BlogTV
“
I have peroid dummy
„
—ForeverKailyn, on her period
“
I have so many stuff!
„
—ForeverKailyn
“
It smells like... Paris amour.
„
—ForeverKailyn describing the Paris Amour candle scent
“
This is pink slice
„
—ForeverKailyn attempting to say Pinksickle
“
I don't have gentle herpes.
„
—ForeverKailyn
“
This is rosebud slave
„
—ForeverKailyn pronouncing "rosebud salve"
“
Sanba? Samba?
„
—ForeverKailyn pronouncing "scuba"'
“
Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)
„
—ForeverKailyn, before she spent $1000 over 3 months on useless make-up for herself
“
Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not
FASlyn started out on YouTube in 2007, during the glory days of the YouTube beauty community. She was a fan of so-called "beauty gurus" like xsparkage, and wanted to be just like them. With a twinkle in her MAC-decorated eye, she made her appearance with a beautiful mullet cut and her first face routine video. Notice how it takes her 9 fucking minutes to apply foundation? Nothing has changed since 2007, including her narcissistic tendency to stare at herself in the mirror...while on camera. If there is anything amazing about Kai, it would be her complete inability to improve her makeup skills, even after years of daily practice.
KaiKaod was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was subsequently rage-deleted when new scandals emerged.
Face Routine: Kai's First Video
The YouTube Sensation: ForeverKailyn, SincerelyKailyn
ForeverKailyn (Currently Deleted)
Kailyn's latest and greatest channel. Despite years of making beauty videos, she has only reached a sad high of nearly 13,000 subscribers when she deleted fucking everything in February 2014. Her average videos received 1000-3000 views. She disabled ratings because she couldn't handle all the dislikes she would get, and theorized that a handful of "haters" were creating 50+ accounts each just to downvote her videos.
Kailyn's Kontent:
annoying video intros with her dead-inside sociopath eyes looking at you "HAYYYY GUUUUUYSSSS"
haul after haul of cheap, shitty drugstore makeup to add to her hoard
purchases of products she already owns duplicates of
reviews of products she begged companies to send her for free
a showcase of her aversion to anything flattering
ill-fitting, out-of-breath OOTDs (Outfit of the Day) with Walmart, Target and Kohl's clothes
Kai applying makeup just to sit inside, diddle herself and watch General Hospital
What you will never see on ForeverKailyn:
skilled makeup application or how-tos, tricks or tips
hauls of interesting, higher end makeup that every fucking guru doesn't already have
Tutorial: Red Vampy Makeup
ForeverKailyn OOTD
SincerelyKailyn (Currently Deleted)
The SincerelyKailyn channel was created after Kailyn's main channel's ad revenue was suspended for violating Google AdWords' user agreement. Kailyn, being the genius she is, probably thought that constantly clicking on her own ads was going to make her more money.
SincerelyKailyn was likely made with Mama Wheelchair's info, to get around the suspension and earn Kai some pennies. She began to post food vlogs, showing off her favorite snacks and demonstrating the metric fuck-ton sugar she likes in her cup of coffee. She also offered insight into her personal life with videos of her and hubby Matt "hurr hurr"-ing around town, mostly at Walmart or in his bedroom. After her pregnancy was announced, she began posting pregnancy updates. By far the most tedious videos on this channel were her tag videos.
“
I'm just gonna try one...scoop...[of sugar]
„
—ForeverKailyn, adding 1/4 cup of sugar
“
Our life is not that exciting!
„
—Kailyn and Matt, like no shit
Kai's Supporting Cast
Family
Meet the WilchersKailyn was born to Lisa Wilcher (previously Lisa Sokoloski, also known as Mama Wheelchair) and Michael Wilcher, who looks like fuckin' Bugs Bunny. Her parents are separated but not divorced. Kai claims they are still friends, although it appears she only sees her father on Father's Day and Christmas. Papa Wilcher is a qualified electrician working a government job and financially supports Kailyn and her mother.
Lisa runs a hair salon in her basement called 'Lisa's Hair Shanty' and "works" two days a week. She and Kai live a stress-free, job-free life subsidized by Papa Wilcher. While Kailyn says that she and her mother are close, like "best friends", this just seems to mean that her mother pays for everything, watches TV with her, washes her hair, heats up sweet and sour canned chicken in the microwave for her, gives her rides to go shopping, and occasionally ghostwrites for Kai to get her out of trouble. They eat their food off paper plates and use plastic cups as they are too lazy to wash dishes.
Kailyn's extended family include her grandmother Dorothy Sokoloski who lives on the street over from the Wilcher's residence. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away in 2007. Her maternal grandmother has a beach house in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.
Lisa bought Kailyn a dog so she could have a friend to play with. They paid thousands of dollars for what they thought was a purebred Yorkie. When Bella got older it became clear she was a mutt. Kailyn claims she "would love Bella even if she was a horse."
Kailyn has an interesting definition of love as Bella has been horribly abused her entire life. She spends most of her time locked inside a pink cage in Kai's bedroom and shits on puppy pads because Kai is too lazy to walk her. During a BlogTV broadcast, Kai sprayed air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly".
Animal Abuse
Friends
Besides superficial friendships with fellow makeup hoarders, Kai has mentioned only a handful of real life friends by name, and most of those friendships have ended because (according to Kailyn) they turned on her. It is far more likely that her friends simply grew tired of associating with someone who only talks about makeup and TV, and makes no attempt at conversation unless it's about herself. Basically, no one wants to be friends with a self-centered, lazy, greedy, manipulative, sex-crazed retard.
Kissy kissy!David aka "Davit" was Kai's first serious boyfriend. They started dating when she was 15. He liked to party, drink heavily and do recreational drugs. According to Kailyn, he was an asshole, but that might have had something to do with her camming and flirting with other guys behind his back. Throughout their relationship, they experienced many "highs" and lows, like the time a giggling Kailyn publicly dumped David on BlogTV, at the urge of onlookers. David had a circle of friends and would often bring Kailyn along to parties, leaving her to stand awkwardly in a corner by herself as she longingly watched him stuff his face with pizza.
Kai's Big Party
Davit has revealed that Kailyn and he had a threesome with a guy nicknamed "Hot Dave". Davit was pissed because Kailyn passionately kissed Hot Dave, something she had never done to him before.
Kailyn became pregnant when she was around 16-17, and despite being completely unprepared mentally and financially to have a baby, Kailyn wanted to be a mother. Thank goodness Mama Wilcher and Davit talked her into having an abortion.
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video, owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
Kailyn Spilling the Beans
David's Response
Matt (2011-current, Husband)
Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow (wife).Matthew "Madd" Hughes is a fat, effeminate, doughfaced stupid hick from "the country" part of Maryland with a retardfetish. He's also Kai's (seemingly estranged) husband. Kailyn met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish, when he was still dating Maureen. Their relationship is beautifully described by Matt as "she's exactly like me, except a girl, hurhurhur." Having found true love, the two were engaged 3 months later and planned to be married at least a year later. Good idea, as they barely knew each other. But wedding bells rang on April 13, 2012, just a couple of months after the engagement. Kailyn and Matt were married at the courthouse, without any family or friends to witness the occasion. Kailyn wore a cheap dress from Kohl's and a plastic tiara while Matt wore a short-sleeved button up from Walmart.
Matt works part-time at Walmart and has been saving up money to get an apartment with Kai. It might take another few years, since his priorities are video games, frogs and junk food, but it's certain to happen some day.
Married Life (2012-current)
lookin' thooo stuneeeen on her weddin' day Kai continues to live with her mother in Bowie whilst Matt lives with his parents and sister in Leonardtown. He does his duty and drives down to see Kai once a month for his conjugal visit, treats her to Red Robin, pumpth her puthy fulla thperm while she stays over at his parents' place for a few days before he dumps her back at Mama's Shanty.
In late 2013, Kailyn realized that it's not normal for a married couple to live over an hour apart because it shows how little they actually care about each other. She has since been pretending that Matt has moved in with her, despite the fact that his clothes, video games, or presence have yet to be seen in any pictures or videos. There was a scandal involving Instagram geo-tags, which revealed that photos Kailyn took while claiming to be at the Wilcher's residence with her hubby, were actually taken while she was sleeping over at his parents' place. Despite being called out, she turned off her geo-tags and carried on with the pretense that she and Matt live together.
Matt is terrified of Kai's trolls and wants nothing to do with her Youtube or online drama. Whenever anything in Matt's personal life is brought up by the mean troll ladies, Kai is threatened with divorce and beatings. Matt has to give baby Kai a stern talking to and a warning to keep him out of her online life!
Kai plans to take Matt's name...one day. Until then, she usually goes by "Kailyn Wilcher", or "Kailyn Marie Hughes" when she's feeling particularly married.
Basically, their marriage is a fucking sham and didn't need to happen. There's no point.-*+6
Maureen
Hi MaureenMooren (Maureen Elizabeth Lewis) first became known after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane mental patient, as evidenced in her obsessive stalking of Kailyn after she and Matt got together. Maureen alleged that she and Matt had been dating for several months, with plans to settle down. Matt insisted that they'd only gone on two dates and barely knew each other. However, Maureen was able to produce text evidence[1][2] that proved she and Matt had been dating for at least 3 months, when he started cheating on her with Kailyn.
“
Lol i don't know if i could handle 7 kids lmao but we can start with one tho :) ahh
„
—One of the texts Matt had sent Maureen
Maureen started harassing Kailyn for many weeks, even logging on to post on the troll forums and sites that had information on Kai. Not long afterwards, she found another obese white whale to love, after failed attempts to seduce Kai's ex David. She still stalks Kailyn and Matt, sometimes in person. Not much has been heard of her since. It is best to avoid her unless you need lulzy info that she might have.
It is interesting to note, however, that despite being an actual retard Mooren is able to hold down a steady job at Goodwill, has a driver's license, and holds a college degree, unlike Kailyn.
Pregnancy (2013)
She's not showing yet, that's just her normal body. No, seriously.Kailyn had a miscarriage in March 2013. Once her miscarriage was revealed in October through her CafeMom posts, she proceeded to tell everyone (including random strangers) on KiK the gory details, much to everyone's dismay.
Despite voicing countless times that she would be waiting until her late 20s to have children, Kailyn finally got pregnant in late 2013 after a supposed 'seven months of trying'. She has expressed how she wants to be a stay at home mom...forever. Since the beginning she has underplayed how desperately she wanted a girl, while clearly dreading the possibility of having a boy. She has pestered her YouTube subscribers for gifts throughout the pregnancy, while insisting that her family can give the baby everything it needs, with or without gifts. Despite claiming that her baby is now her top priority, Kailyn has preferred to spend thousands of dollars on expensive makeup and clothes instead of buying things for her child. She claimed she was having two baby showers--one held by her mom and the other by the church Matt's family attends. It was later revealed that she had lied about the church offering to host a baby shower for her. When confronted, the church expressed disgust that it was associated with Kai.
Scandalous Kai
Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big one a year. When Kailyn gets caught, she rage-deletes her social media accounts and YouTube channels, only to come crawling back a few months later. Kailyn's moment in the sun came about when she was featured on "Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9". It was a parody show that made fun of certain beauty gurus. Willam laughed at Kai's teeth, hair, potato-shaped head, and her hair stylist mother.
Promiscuity, Camwhoring, Cheating
Nudes were leaked when Kai sold her cellphone in 2008, having forgotten to delete the explicit photos before sending it to the buyer. The infamous 'shampoo bottle' picture (of a travel-sized shampoo bottle shoved up her vagina) was seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Several nudes do still exist and are available for viewing in the gallery below.
Additionally, Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of income for god knows how long, until she was discovered. She freaked out tried to close her account.
She has also cammed with users on MSN. She famously flashed her TITS, before nonchalantly sticking her fork into a chicken pot pie that was sitting on her computer desk.
Kailyn made many accounts on OKCupid, Cragslist, and more, looking for hook-ups and announcing she was bi-curious/bisexual. There are rumors that she had sex with a girl while dating David, but it's likely that, as in everything else she does, she was unsuccessful.
All that remains of the infamous shampoo bottle photo.
ForeverJobless, ForeverFailGuru
“
Making beauty videos is my career.
„
—ForeverKailyn, on why she doesn't have a job.
Kailyn took a 40 hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a license of Makeup Artist. What was intended as an intro course to further education has become the entire foundation of her makeup abilities. Of course, when you watch her videos (when you can stand to because of how fucking boring they are) it's obvious that she doesn't know anything about color placement, finding one's bone structure for flattering color application, blending, etc. She calls herself a guru, but has the muddiest, ugliest makeup application ever for someone who's been doing makeup on themselves for SEVEN YEARS.
Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.
When asked about her income, Kai has said she sold Scentsy and Avon, as well as worked as a shampoo girl in a salon. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, birthday money and Christmas money. It is speculated that she receives Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) but where her money comes from is a mystery. What's obvious, though, is she never intends on finding employment, citing that internet trolls have made it impossible for potential employers to Google her without finding her nudes/scandals. Never mind the fact that most employers (for the kind of jobs Kai could get) don't even bother to Google applicants.
Kailyn tweeted that she was off to a job interview, probably just to appease all the people calling her a lazy leech. Not 20 minutes later, she tweeted that the interview went well. Once people started telling her it was impossible for her to travel to and from an interview, as well as sit for the interview itself in just 20 minutes, she deleted all tweets about it.
Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a stay-at-home mom "forever". How convenient for her!
The job she thought she had
Pink Wednesday
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies promising a half-assed review in exchange for free shit. A new company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the Mean Girls movie), contacted Kailyn asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She made a video review, stating that she had been using the products for a few weeks and "laaaaahved" them all. However, it was fairly obvious from the untouched appearance of the soap and full capacity of the lotion that she had never even touched them. Her surprise and disgust over the vinegar-smelling body spray was even more obvious.
When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a butthurt video rant.
Pink Wednesday Fiasco
Weight, Diet, Personal Hygiene
HAYYYY GUYSSSSKailyn refuses to shower because she is worried about getting shampoo in her eyes and opts for bathing once a month instead. Trolls have caught her in videos with greasy hair, dandruff, etc., making it quite obvious that she pretty much never washes her own hair and instead begs her mom Lisa to wash her hair for her in "The Hair Shanty". It is said that Kai marinates in her own filth until Lisa hoses her down out back. It's lucky she was able to marry someone who is likely just as disgusting.
Kailyn (more affectionately known as "Gorilla") has been steadily gaining weight for years. The only vegetables she eats are cucumbers (with ranch), carrots (with ranch), and potatoes. The only protein she really likes is chicken, preferably coming from a can and fried in a lot of oil. See Imgur album for proof.[3]
RAAAAAAAAAPE
Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.
In October 2013, Kailyn and her "hubby" Matt allegedly raped their friend A. This issue was brought to light by someone who went undercover as a stan and messaged Kailyn on Facebook. Kailyn brought up the alleged rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", as if that's an excuse for rape. This incident was confirmed by Bowie PD police reports that confirmed there was indeed a call for rape on Kailyn's street on that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote a contradicting Facebook status saying it was all a "misunderstanding", and that Kailyn and A were still friends. Mama Wilcher and Kailyn then claimed that a family member of A had called the police, even though Kailyn herself had previously admitted that the police let A use her bathroom and collect her belongings before leaving Kailyn's house. The Bowie PD also included the incident in their Uniform Crime Report to the state for the month of October, indicating that they believe the rape occurred despite not being able to continue their investigation because A dropped the charges.
After receiving a deluge of negative comments calling out her lies, the mistreatment of her so-called friend, and general disgust over her and her husband's behavior, Kailyn decided it was time to once again drop off the Internet. She deleted her beauty-related Facebook, Instagram and both her YouTube accounts on February 21, 2014. A sad day for no one. On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for any "fans" who want to keep in touch. Anyone with half a brain knows that she only wants people to send her presents. She has since deleted the status after people called her out on her greediness.
Teeth and Speech Impediment
Hungry Hippo
It has been obvious since her early KaiKhaod days that Kailyn has too many damn teeth in her mouth. Baby pictures show Kai with a freakishly bloated jaw. Despite wearing braces for several years Kai's teeth still look like shit, most likely down to her being too lazy to wear her retainer after having the braces off. She has an excessive saliva build up in her mouth as well as a lisp, resulting in her being unable to pronounce majority of words. She has been known to choke on her saliva mid-sentence.
