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Death Metal
Death Metal is yet another of over 9,000 sub-genres of Heavy Metal.
Death metal artists take pride in the brutallity and technicallity of their music, resulting in an on-going dick-measuring contest to see who has produced the heaviest and (ultimately) most un-listenable sound.
The live shows put on by these bands are competitions to see who can head-bang the hardest and to incite their fans to run around in a wild frenzy punching the other concert-goers and screaming until they collapse.
A brief history
Death Metal originated in the 1980's as an escape for Satan worshiping freaks to express their dissatisfaction with the current trends in music, which at the time was mostly focusing about love and peace.
Many of these angst-ridden teens were in Florida at the time, which is a state full of immigrants and elderly people on their slow rickety march towards death. The boys had a dream, that they would create music that even their close friends and families whould shun them for; they created a band named Death(creative?) to complain about a bunch of random shit and scare all the old people. several of their fans caught on and started bands of their own, jumpstarting the Florida Death Metal scene.
Musicians all around the world were amazed and stunned at the Pandora's box of musical brutality and violence that had been unleashed, and created bands to rant about their favorite torture-method or political figure.
Style and Composition
Death Metal is all about being as heavy as possible and singing about the most horrific violence/rape conceivable. The desired sound can be simulated by throwing a cat and a running chainsaw into your clothes dryer and setting it to "High". Although occasionally a keyboard or synth is thrown in, true death metal artists uses primarily guitars and drums to achieve its sonic butchery, and they ostracise and ridicule bands that use anything else; they retaliate to this bastardization of their sound by labelling such bands as "symphonic" or "melodic".
Although being all about violence and gore, the artists who come up with these lyrics are usually afraid of needles and faint at the sight of REAL blood.
Guitars
Death metal requires a both heavy chugging sound like an old deisel truck going over a bumpy road to and more midrange grind reminiscent of that horrifying bowel movement you had last Thursday squatting over a stump full of yellow-jackets.
Being a death metal guitarist means you buying a guitar that is shaped like it was intended to be a medieval battle axe or big letter "V" from Sesame Street. Next, since all the chords have to be detuned down into sub-sonic octaves, you're going to have to get rid of those pussy regular strings and find some piano wire and maybe that old coax cable that was left when they came and repo'd your comcast box and tv (cuz you're poor as shit).
Next you need to practice playing your top string (that Co-ax cable) with your right hand in a steady, rapid beat- although this skill is already universally known and mastered by aspiring guitarists anyway, so you are really just getting used to having something as large as a pick in your fingers while you strum.
Every death metal song needs a sick guitar solo in the beginning , middle and end. You'll get some serious recognition and possibly even an article in this gay website. PROTIP: If your guitar is rad enough to have a whammy bar, simply play an open string and yank and pull until the string breaks and lashes you in the face, the resulting solo will be epic and Angela Gossow will emerge screaming from across the sea to swallow your cock and balls whole.
Bass
No respectable death metal band allows their bassist to be even remotely heard. They exist as extra stage help while on tour.
Drums
Drumming for a death metal band requires precision and extreme endurance. So you better be thin to even think about it( haha we all know you're too fat).
Since anger and violence go hand in hand with this genre, you should be looking for a combination of thumping and crashing noises; just imagine yourself beating up a homeless man with a hammer and a some trash can lids. The entire rhythm section is typically sound clip of a garbage bag full of pots, pans, empty tin cans, and glass mugs being thrown at a wall; this is looped over 9,000 times. (Some truly brutal drummers have actually sampled themselves killing a bum in the aforementioned way and using that as their loop track.)
Vocals
Sometimes death metal vocalists are refered to as "singers"; if one over hears this common misnomer they will promptly freak the fuck out and correct whoever said it. Singing is never a welcome part of any true death metal song, instead frontmen use a combination of belches, grunts, squeals, gulps, roars, and whatever other noise sounds primal and raw. Pitches of these vocals range from yoda-getting-ass-raped-high to that low grinding, gurgling sound when your roommate flips on the garbage disposal with your hand still wrist deep into the drain trying to dig out a stuck spoon.