Montel Williams

An old black man who hosts a daily talk show on TV. Typical topics involve some fat lady nearly going insane from being stuck trying to get out of her car, 16 year old girls being molested by their gynecologists, middle-aged women becoming dykes after finding out their husbands were cheating on them with furries, and rednecks who became permanently disfigured when their drug lab exploded.

Montel Williams

All of this is accompanied by a blinding orange set, an unenthusiastic audience, and of course the arrogant Williams himself often interrupting his guest and stating the obvious.

He tries to squeeze as much fake sympathy as he can for the guest, going so far as to act as if the so-called "tragedy" is the most horrific thing he's ever heard of.

In one episode, a man complained that the guy he hired to mow his lawn cut it too short. Montel started sputtering out obscenities and flopping around on the stage in anger like an epileptic. In another one, the ex-husband of Debra Lafave, who seduced a 13 year old boy was treated as if she was the Devil himself... or herself, take your pick.

On each Wednesday episode, his show gets more dull and pointless when he invites psychic Sylvia browne to bore the viewer for an hour. Naive audience members ask this witch what happened to their dead relatives. She just guesses and says they died of boredom while watching this show.

About Montel Himself

Montel proudly supports the legalization of reefer because he needs it stop his immense backpain from years of yiffing with his family of gorillas.