Billy Joel

Billy Joel is the only human in existence to wear a fedora and not be beta, seen here.

Billy Joel being Billy Joel but younger.

Billy Joel is a washed up hack who made too much music. He has Alzheimers now and regularly shits his pants but he still gets all the bitches at the nursery home, especially my mom. He is the god of publicity stunts, and fuck Snoop Dogg he ain't got shit on Billy muthafuckin Joel other than a semblence of relevancy after the 1980s. He wrote a wide variety of songs, and still performs them to this day despite needing a video prompter for his lyrics because that's how forgetful he is. He is NOT to be mistaken with Elton John the knighted and vastly superior musician, ever.

As a young boy he grew up in some shithole nobody cares about and was blastin' CO2 straight up his anus. He was part of a band or some shit but then went off to make his own music after a vicious gang rape.