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Campo Elías Delgado
|
| |
|---|---|
| Campo Elías Delgado Morales | |
| Nationality: | Colombian 
|
| Highscore | Killed 29, injured 12 |
| Top 50? | 16th |
| Style | Single player |
| An Hero? | No (Killed by police) |
Campo Elías Delgado was a Colombian English teacher, a pretty cool guy and the only good spic to ever exist. On December 4, 1986, he set out for the high score by killing 9 people at his apartment building then going ham at a fancy restaurant, killing 20 more.
Background
Campo was a Vietnam War vet who served in the U.S. Army, even though he was too much of an IRL oldfag to be drafted. Being in the war reportedly turned him into a beta male, making him the OG kickstarter of the beta uprising. He lived as a refugee on the streets of Noo Yawk before moving back to Colombia and making a living teaching lolis the English language. Delgado also had family issues, as he couldn't make any friends and blamed his mother for it. His sister also hated him and he saw his dad kill himself.
The killings
Apartment buildings
On December 4, 1986, Campo went to the home of one of his students, some 16-year-old girl named Claudia. He gagged and handcuffed Claudia and her mom, and stabbed them both to death with a hunting knife. He then went back home, stabbed his sister in the back and set her body on fire. Proving he was an accomplished actor, Campo ran through the halls screaming "Fire! Fire!" He went into two lesbians' apartment and told them he needed to call the fire department, then shot them both in the head. Some other bitch heard the shots and went to go investigate, and also got shot by Campo.
Campo moved down a floor and went to another apartment, again saying he had to call the fire department. This time, there were four lesbians needing to be exterminated. Sadly, Campo only killed 3 of them since the other one jumped out the window. After being satisfied with the killings, Campo went to his buddies' home and said "lol bye", explaining that he was going on a trip to America. Having not been caught because it's Colombia, Campo threw away his knife and went to a restaurant downtown.
Restaurant
Campo, a true gentleman, greeted the waiters and ordered some spaghetti. Being a rampant alcoholic, Campo ordered a bunch of wine and vodka and hung around the bar for most of his time. He paid his bill then stood up and opened fire. He shot 32 people, getting 20 kills. Campo, a moralfag, promised to not kill any kids, but ended up doing it anyway. The cops showed up 10 minutes later, but Campo held them off for at least 100 years. Unfortunately, the piggies shot Campo in the face while he was reloading, ending his glorious spree. However, since Campo only had a revolver, and some people were found to have been killed by an Uzi, many of the dead are alleged to have been killed by police in the crossfire.
Legacy
Despite having a pretty high position on the leaderboard, Campo has unfairly not been given much credit. A book inspired by his actions was made in 2002, which was later adapted into a movie. In it, Campo is renamed Eliseo and has a crush on Claudia, renamed Natalia. The movie was Colombia's submission to the 80th Academy Awards for Best Foreign Language Film, but was not nominated because 1. it was shit and 2. TL;DW.
High Score
| Graded score | |
|---|---|
| Kill count: | 29/20 |
| Accuracy: | 14/20 29 kills, 12 injured |
| Style: | 20/20 Method actor and arsonist |
| Butthurt: | 20/20 |
| Bonus: | 20/20 |
| Total score: 103/100 (S) | |
See full ranking
Wanted Level:
Federal Bureau of Investigation
External links
- Campo at Wikipedia
- Campo at Murderpedia
Colombian movie retelling Delgado's killings (unfortunately in spic-ese)- The restaurant scene of the movie, with Pumped Up Kicks edited in for the lulz
| Featured article November 22 & 23, 2015 | ||
| Preceded by Jared Fogle |
Campo Elías Delgado | Succeeded by Reportfag |