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Is This Battletoads

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This is Battletoads.
The best of two worlds!

Battletoads, Combat Frogs, Conflict Amphibians, War Tadpoles, Internecine Anurans, Bufonidae Proelii, etc. is the most awesome game ever created. It kicks the shit out of TMNT. The first game was released for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1991 and then ported to the Amiga in 1992, Sega Mega Drive/Genesis in 1993, Sega Game Gear in 1993, and Amiga CD32 in 1994.

This meme/troll started on 4chan after a VG screenshot contest, the "Is this Battletoads?" phenomenon is now a modern classic and appears whenever someone requests a game title, information or screenshot. Another good use is to go to the most popular boards on GameFAQs and inquire whether or not the game in question is, in fact, Battletoads.

The correct answer to the question is, of course: "No, it's Doom III", whatever the game is.



The game itself

Battletoads is known as one of the hardest video games in history, and it's also surprisingly good, assuming you don't go batshit insane trying (and failing) to beat it, chances are that you will quit within the first 2-3 levels.

The story, in essence, is that a leather-clad whore called the Dark Queen captures one of the Battletoads, Pimple, and the princess, probably to rape them. The Battletoads' pedophile leader, Coach, tells the other two, Rash and Zitz, to rescue them. And the Battletoads, being the Conflict Amphibians they are, do so.

The third level, being completely impossible, has caused many a player to completely rage while playing, so most people now use this simple plan to actually enjoy some of the game:

  1. Play until Level 3
  2. Turn off the machine and insert a Game Genie
  3. Enter GAXAALAA and begin playing
  4. ????
  5. PROFIT!

Rebirth of an old meme

   
 
STOP CALLING MY FUCKING STORE
 

 
 

—Random GameStop Employee

Suddenly, on the 12th, 13th and 14th of November 2007, Anonymous decided to prank call GameStop, asking for Battletoads pre-orders. /b/lackup was formed in the name of the lulz and lots of prank calls were made.

Moar than 40 GameStop stores were targeted, some stores received over 9000 calls all day.

At first, some stores were friendly and explained that they don't have it. After a few hours they got really pissed. Some employees called Anon very bad things, things you can't say on Faux News. Other employees thought this was funny, and joked about Battletoads.

A few weeks after the beginning of the raid, according to Anonymous spies, a GameStop conference call announced that all Battletoads calls should be handled politely. 4chan was also mentioned. /b/tards were called "a hazardous group of people on the internet" and theorized to be attempting to take over GameStop.

PROTIP: If you decide to troll Gamestop, and they ask for a name, say Richard C. Mongler

The best store to call is:785.760.7850

A Couple Sample Videos

  

Information about Battletoads according to GameStop employees

  • Battletoads is the new Horde race in World Of Warcraft.
  • If you beat Halo 3 900 times, you unlock Battletoads, Anon corrected the employee. The correct answer is Over nine thousand.
  • The Sims 2 expansion pack Cast Away contains both Battletoads and Mudkipz.
  • The Battletoads game cost as much as your mom.
  • You must get 1,000,000 points on Rock Band to unlock Battletoads.
  • Battletoads is available for pre-order sale NOW! Call your local GameStop and order yours today!
  • Battletoads is only available in Orange Box edition, not Green Box edition
  • The Battletoads are going to be in Halo Wars and they are going to be evil.
  • Battletoads for the Xbox 360 is At least 100£
  • Battletoads is an unlockable "Masterpieces" demo in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
  • Battletoads is the cow level in Diablo III.
  • Battletoads came out last Thursday.
  • A new DDR game is coming out, called Dance Dance Revolution: Battletoads Edition.
  • Battletoads will be featured in Street Fighter V.
  • Battletoads vs. Capcom 2 is available for pre-order sale NOW! Call your local GameStop and order yours today!
  • Nor does Battletoads: Battletoads Revolution.
  • Revenge of Pedobear, however, is currently available at Gamestops worldwide.
  • In the year 9,000...and 1. Yes. Over 9,000.
  • There will be a world centered around Battletoads in the next Kingdom Hearts.

Quotes

   
 
No, we don't have Battletoads, we didn't have it the last ten times you called, but you know they're coming out with a game you might like called Cameltoads. No, no, it's not like this "Battletoads" you're asking for at all. No, there is no Wii strap included. There are no barrel rolls or mudkipz. Alright, so come on in to preorder it.
 

 
 

—Jeff, a Random GameStop Employee.

   
 
We were going to get in a shipment of Battletoads, but the truck was infected with AIDS. Damn AIDS, what can you do?.
 

 
 

—Random GameStop Employee

   
 
Im sorry, we have Fighting Lizzards, Armored Armadillos, but no Battletoads. Yea I know im pissed too.
 

 
 

—Random GameStop Employee

   
 
....No we do not have Battletoads Galactica. Please say hello to 4chan for me though.
 

 
 

—Random Female GameStop Employee, whom was swiftly told afterward to return to the kitchen.

   
 
Uhhh, sure lemme look it up. What was it called again? Battle... What? Can you repeat that? Battle Chodes...? Its called Battle Chodes? You're looking for Battle Chodes? You're sick, man.
 

 
 

—Random Gamestop Employee

   
 
It comes out on February 1st. Now stop fucking calling.
 

 
 

—Random Gamestop Employee

   
 
I'll put one in your motherfuckin' forehead!
 

 
 

—Mike, Phoenix Gamestop

   
 
Battletoads? HMMMMMRRRAAHHHHHOOOOOHHHHAHHHHRMMMMAHHHH...NOPE *click*.
 

 
 

—Alex, Vero beach Gamestop

   
 
Battletoads... Uh, yeah. We got that. But we have the 9000 Mudkip Edition. You know the one that comes bundled with the movie? Nah, I'm pulling your leg. We were going to get it, but then time moved on you know? Wait was Gamestop around back then? Fuck, anyway, hi 4chan.
 

 
 

—Some cool doode at Gamestop

2010: Re-rebirth of an old meme

Blizzard causes massive butthurt among their own fans but it's for a good cause.

On July 26th 2010 at 10 pm, Gamestops around the country held a massive pre-release party for Starcraft II fans waiting for the game to go on sale at midnight. Gamestop employees were forced to leave their parents' basements during their normal social time to sell special copies of the game that contain Battletoads as a hidden fourth race, in addition to the usual Zerg, Terran, and Protoss factions.

Best video game of 2007

Over 9,000 readers of Kerrang have decided that Battletoads was the best video game of 2007, many of whom were also avid participants of the 4chan /b/ board. Lots of people voted, but the boards got shut down since people also mass voted for some other girl as the sexiest female. The winner was supposed to get its name into Kerrang's December 2007 issue as the best video game.

Update! BestActEVER.com is currently using an autovoter for the 2008 issue which includes votes for Battletoads as the THE BEST video game.

LiveJournal is on the case

Sometime last Thursday, LJ user slaneyder failed to lurk moar and made a post in the community customers_suck, whining about the people calling and asking for Battletoads. Lulz ensued when several LiveJournal faggots hopped onto the /b/tard bandwagon, under the assumption that being a /b/tard makes you cool.

See the full thread! - Featuring an old friend: Merle Whitefire, survivor of the First Feminazi War.

Also in the customers_suck comm, known furry defconn1 made a post about how a customer had called them upset because one of his co-workers had apparently given the customer's son a case for a Wii version of Battletoads. Obviously, as no such product actually exists, customer Jr was understandably heartbroken. "It's sad that some people are so bored they can only think of destructive things to do."

The new Battletoads games are being released

/b/


Gamespot's site as of September 1st, 2009


At the end of June 2008, the pre-ordered Battletoads games was still not in stores. Since the development of the Battletoads games for the Wii and Xbox 360 took some time, Anonymous decided to release the game himself. Covers, flyers and other kinds of game art was made. The plan this time was to sneak fake covers into GameStop stores.

Not so obvious memes were added to the covers, The plan was simple, fucking with GameStop employees as usual.

The Great Battletoads Raid of July 2008

July 12th is an important date for Anonymous. Two years ago marked the first Great Habbo Raid and exactly one year later history repeated itself. While protestfags were off saving the world with their Spy vs. Sci protests, the Anonymous who seek a greater goal did so at 2:00PM July 12th.

Battletoads: The Movie

Something you would most likely see in a Battletoads movie.

On 23rd July 2008 Battletoads - The Movie was announced by Universal Studios.

Due to the incredibly high demand and hype surrounding this movie it's recommended that you pre-order tickets at your local cinemas when they become available. Call in and ask about the date, all pre-orders get a special Battletoads card and 50% off Battletoads for the Wii at your local GameStop!

The cast includes Will Smith, Samuel L. Jackson and Bill Cosby providing the voices of the toads.

Preview critics have called the movie a CGI sensation.

http://www.battletoadsmovie.com

Copypasta

Hi, I'm Gregg and I work at GameStop. I have a simple message for the members of this forum.

DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER FUCKING CALL UP MY PLACE OF WORK AGAIN.
I KNOW YOU PATHETIC FUCKS DON'T HAVE JOBS OF YOUR OWN AND YOUR PARENTS
PAY FOR YOUR SKYPE AND YOUR INTERNET ACCESS AND YOU HAVE NO CLUE HOW
HARD IT IS TO ACTUALLY WORK A FULL TIME JOB.

WHAT YOU FUCKHEADS DON'T REALIZE IS BY YOU CALLING AND ASKING FOR
BATTLEFROGS OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER YOU FUCKERS SAY OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN,
IT TAKES UP PRECIOUS TIME WHICH WE NEED TO HELP ACTUAL CUSTOMERS.

YOU ARE MAKING US LOSE MONEY. AND BY 'US' I MEAN THE EMPLOYEES.
EVERY PRANK CALL THE STORE WE WORK AT RECEIVES, WE LOSE HOWEVER AMOUNT OF
TIME WE SPEND ON THE PHONE TALKING TO YOU COMES RIGHT OUT OF OUR MEASLY PAYCHECKS.

SO FUCK OFF IT ISN'T FUNNY AND OUR STORE AT LEAST HAS ALREADY CONTACTED THE
AUTHORITIES AND YES THERE IS ACTION WE CAN PURSUE AGAINST THIS MESSAGEBOARD.

Have a fucking great day. And don't call my place of work anymore. 

Apparently more time in work = less money

Anonymous 06/02/10(Wed)13:35:28 No.234923XXX

   ME: Do you guys have battlefield..
   HIM: That game doesn't exist the joke is old. *click*
   (call back)different guy answers
   Me: I'm looking for a game for my son, battlefield 2, do you have any new or used copies?
   Him: what system?
   me:360, also, I'd like to speak to a manager because I was just hung up on. I didn't even get
    the word 2 out and some asshole told me it doesn't exist but I know the game does exist.
   Him: Ummm, well I'm the district manager
   Me: Good, you need to have a conversation with whoever you've got answering phones besides you in the store
   Him:Okay, one moment *sets phone down*
   (in background)
   Him: Did you just hang up on a customer (yeah it was one of those prank calls for battletoads)
    No, *name indeciferable* it wasn't, its a guy asking for a copy of battlefiel 2, you need to start
    paying attention, remember we talked about this (I swore he said battletoads) Okay well he didn't,
    you better hope we don't lose a sale because of this
   *comes back to phone*
   Him: Okay sir, I think I know what happened, see we've been getting these prank calls and...
   Me: I don't want your excuses I'll take my business elsewhere *click*
   win, y/n?

Richard

Richard, the GameStop employee from Irvine, CA raging.
   
 
me: hi, i was wondering what a bundle pack with the wii remote and nunchuk would cost?

Richard: we don't have a bundle pack for the wiimote and nunchuk, but we do have a pack that comes with Wii play, which is 50 dollars.
me: will that work with battletoads?
Richard: no, but you can preorder a 40 pound box of rape.
me: oh man, i am ALL over that
Richard: yeah, i bet you are. (click)

 


 
 

—4chan

Richard Fleming is a GameStop employee that on 12/07/08 was on the verge of becoming a meme. He was asked about Battletoads nearly to the point of becoming an hero.

His fellow employee Eric picked up where he left off, while he was on "lunch break", though it is more likely that he was bleeding in a corner. Eric was a fellow /b/tard and had a taste for Mudkipz.

An anon also found Richard's GameStop# which is 714-544-9975. The Address of his Gamestop is 13210 Jamboree Road, Irvine,CA, 92602. UPDATE: Richard's new store is #5082 @ 26750 Aliso Creek Rd, Aliso Viejo CA, 92656. Phone #(949)643-8570. Have fun! Also in the news, Richard is hated by his own employees for his display of faggotry of levels thought unobtainable. Richard is also a huge fan of Full Metal Alchemist. He has angel wings on his back, saying they were for someone he knew in the Army that died, then telling someone else they were from Full Metal Alchemist. His appearance is one of a fatass with a jewfro and the biggest christbot to evar grace the mystical portal of Gamestop. Richard has fuckbuddies David and Jacob, who apparently is a /b/tard himself telling someone they had "over 9000 copies that came with mudkip oil changes".

Recordings

Battletoads Prank Call to GameStop containing many memes.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=bb0_1195232075 !!!SERIOUSLY EPIC WIN!!! (YouTube took original one down with 50,000 views)

http://big-gulp.net/GameStop/BALLZOFSTEEL.mp3

http://d.turboupload.com/d/2148030/ikjw7khdrspgvhk_GS_Prank.WAV.html

http://www.talismoon.net/b/ebaumsworld_calling_gamestop.mp3 - eBaum's World is calling GameStop.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/GS_call01.mp3

http://www.talismoon.net/b/gs_call02.mp3

http://www.talismoon.net/b/gs_call03.mp3

http://www.talismoon.net/b/GameStop_01.mp3

http://www.soundupload.com/audio/ikjw7khdrspgvhk - Why did gina hang up on me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkNWnh2Pgxs - Battletoads in Street Fighter V and other games.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/GameStop_wow_new_race.mp3 - According to GameStop, BattleToads is the new race in WoW.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/gamestop_wow_new_race2.mp3 - BattleToads is the new race in WoW again, longer epic call.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/gamestop_halo3_guide.mp3 - If you beat the game 900 times you unlock Battletoads.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/GS_call_corporateHQ.mp3 - Anon called the HQ to sort things out.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/Eb-games_strange_call.mp3 - Anon called EB-games in Canada for a little chat.

http://www.talismoon.net/b/GameStop_btard_answer.mp3 - When Anon called, GameStop-chan answered!!!

http://files.filefront.com/battletoadsmp3/;9108019;/fileinfo.html - Recording of the teamspeak shit.

http://files.filefront.com/battletoads2mp3/;9108135;/fileinfo.html - moar teamspic

http://files.filefront.com/battletoads3mp3/;9108242;/fileinfo.html - But wait, there's more!

Gallery

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External link

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November 16, 2007
Preceded by
Megan Meier
Is This Battletoads Succeeded by
Broadcaster
Featured article March 10, 2009
Preceded by
Ron Savelo
Is This Battletoads Succeeded by
PIFTS.exe