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LoveShy

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Autistic, Man Child Approved!

"Love-shy" is a special term for social anxiety disorder, a massive victim complex, and a possible hatred of all women. It's not recognized as a legitimate diagnosis by anyone except for Dr. Brian Gilmartin, who's a fucking idiot relegated to teaching college out in rural Montana since his crazy book about this shit got him fired.

People who call themselves "Love-shy" are making an excuse for why no human being wants to talk to them, let alone fuck them. "Love-Shy" men avoid all possibility of rejection, because they have ceased any attempt to relate to other humans. This allows them to stay exactly the same, but thanks to Love-Shy, they get attention and pity from strangers on the internet which makes up for the fact that real people don't like them.

Love Shy: The Book

This guy wants to help you lose your virginity
Not to be confused with Shy Love.

In 1987 Dr. Brian Gilmartin interviewed 300 extremely shy men, adult virgins, or something about their hopes, dreams, fears, and aspirations. Although Social Anxiety Disorder, shyness, social phobias, depression, Asspurger's syndrome, autism, and a whole slew of other non-imaginary psychological conditions are recognized and treatable, Dr. Gilmartin thought up a new term for their neurotic bullshit: Love-shyness.

Gilmartin suggested that none of the Love-shies' problems were their fault: their virginity was caused by society, mom and dad, football, genetics and astrology.

Gilmartin denied that the antidote to this problem was: 1.) talking to other human beings and 2.) seeking help from therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists. Instead of a logical and sane path to not failing at life, he suggested that football be outlawed because football teams were guerrilla training camps for bullies, that shy people should get helper animals like blind people, that sex selection by aborting male fetuses could help shy men cope with fatherhood by not having to raise boys, and that shy people should become militant activists and picket with signs that literally described them as cowards.

In his research Gilmartin had also found sick fucks who fucked department store mannequins, dogs, and their own shit:

"Specifically, from the time this man had been a child he had always had a strong sexual fascination with his bowel movements, especially when they "come out real long and soft". And on those occasions when he had a bowel movement of the "right" feeling and texture—an event which he claimed happened only about once every couple of months— he would become "uncontrollably aroused" from a sexual standpoint. Using vegetable oil "to enhance the effect", he would roll the bowel movement around in his hands, sometimes for several hours; and he would enjoy several ejaculations while in the process of doing this. He would save his "nicer poopoos" in plastic bags, sometimes for several days. And at several points during this time span he would pick his bowel movement out of the plastic bag and begin getting sexually recharged again. During the course of this behavior he would fantasize being with a "really beautiful young girl" who had "long hair and a pretty face" and who "also liked long, soft, beautiful oozie-goozies".

Love Shy: The Other Book

Talmer Shockley - a man who knows what's what.
His shitty book.

Talmer Shockley wrote a book called The Love-shy Survival Guide, which got him fired from his job as a "high tech researcher". He has also diagnosed himself with Asperger's. The Love-shy Survival Guide apparently says you should become Chris-chan or something by boosting your "attractiveness sphere."

Talmer has a website where he offers semi-decent advice, like brushing your teeth, having a job and not living in a disgusting cave full of garbage if you ever want to have sex with women. He tells you to fuck up your life a little more by finding a therapist who believes that "Love Shy" is a real disorder, and to wave the book in her face if she doesn't believe you. "She" being the operative word, for this must be a female therapist. Apparently, talking to a girl they like terrifies Love-Shy men, yet they have no trouble whatsoever telling their darkest secrets to a chick shrink. Talmer then suggests that you get the therapist to diagnose you with lots of other stuff so you can be even more special and have more things to baww about.

Am I Love-Shy?

Are you:

  • A virgin?
  • Afraid of showering?
  • A frequenter of /b/?
  • Boiling over with hatred for women?
  • Friendless?
  • Convinced that it's not you who's at fault, but society?

If you have answered yes to more than one of these questions, you are indeed love shy. It is now time for you to take the necessary actions to solve the problem, but if you are too cowardly then you can always join the Love Shy forum!

Love-Shy.com

The Love Shy forums are a containment zone for concentrated fail, where batshit insane fucktards run wild and talk about hating women, raping women, killing women, and George Sodini, a 50-year-old virgin who they all think is awesome because he shot a bunch of women. Some of them like to write cool essays about rape or how God Hates Fags. They're universally butthurt about circumcision beyond all logic and reason, and a bunch of them are atheists. The moderators are worse. 110% of the Love-Shy forums are idiots bitching about their easily-solved personal problems instead of doing something about it. The more you read, the more obvious it becomes that none of them want to change.

Here's a brief rundown about the people who inhabit the Love-shy forum. They're racist, sexist homophobes, the lot of them, and they're deeply unpleasant people. The following are short summaries of who they are, why they in particular suck, and various information about their real identities.

Witness the Glory

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Words of Wisdom

Such nice guys!
If only women were forced to have sex with people by law, then maybe ‎the Sandy Hook massacre might not have happened!
   
 
One day, a loveshy man will not be content with gunning down a few women.
 

 
 

— Mikey

   
 
if you are attractive, good sperm, then it's not rape.
 

 
 

—e_i-2

   
 
to be raped, that's the gift of ulitmate control, complete dominance and complete submission.
 

 
 

—e_i-2

   
 
Both of these cultures are patriarchal and anti-feminist.
 

 
 

—Fschmidt

   
 
The only reason that a man pursues an American women is for sex.
 

 
 

—Fschmidt

   
 
only make rape illegal if it is unprovoked
 

 
 

—Fschmidt

   
 
rape is quite simply about filling a biological need
 

 
 

—Fschmidt

   
 
They deserve to raped, I cannot concern myself with the pain
 

 
 

—Fschmidt

   
 
a woman cannot say no. A no from a woman could be reported
 

 
 

—Coby

   
 
a husband needs to be legally allowed to hit his wife
 

 
 

—Mesian

   
 
Yes, in fact I do admire Cho, The Columbine Duo, George Sodini
 

 
 

—Rammspieler

   
 
kill all women and replace them with female type androids
 

 
 

—SociallyInept

   
 
killing women, and making a political statemnt can be very effective
 

 
 

—SociallyInept

   
 
Women need to learn that being crul to men will have physical consequences.
 

 
 

—SociallyInept

Documentary

Moar info: Shy Boys IRL.

A student moviemaker became so morbidly fascinated with some of the members of Love-shy.com that it prompted her to make movie.

The simple solution

Whores, my friend. Whores. Not "cam whores" or "attention whores". Whores. The real thing. Just be careful to make a budget and stick to it.

Links

See also


LoveShy is part of a series on Dying Alone

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