1980s

1980s is part of a series on Time

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Hey, wouldn't it be funny if...

What everyone in the Eighties looked like.

A typical man woman from the 1980s.

The 1980s was a gloriously tacky period of time spanning the years 1982 to 1992. Your parents and 16 year old girls who weren't even there fap to the decade fondly, even though it was actually ten years of ghey music, overrated movies, awful fashion and AIDS. They also Did a lot of coke and voted for Ronald Reagan.

Every song from the 1980's in a nutshell, followed by every song from the late 90's/early 00's in a nutshell.

Miami Vice

A popular Television show and a name for an era in the 80's, usually between 1984 and 1988 and most fondly remembered as being the definitive 80's look because it had the honor of having its look designed by Versace and Armani who took cues from the New Romantics like Duran Duran and people like David Bowie that had a sense of style and who were willing to take risks and were rebelling against the heroin chic punk look. Most gen-xers look fondly upon this period because it is the only one that had any real style as it was designed to make people look good and not like more modern styles that have 35 year old douche bags wearing wool ski hats in the summer cuz it's like so ironic. Most people when questioned actually admit to being willing to dress in this era over choices like grunge, punk, valley or country, and being stuck right between the valley girl look of big hair in the early 80's and the hillbilly mullett, fuck taking a bath look of the late 80's that led into grunge helps a lot to keep the 40 somethings fondly remembering this era of Ferraris, feathered hair and pastel colours.

Most fans of this Era also blame the lack of Nostalgia as to why Michael Mann's 2006 Miami Vice movie failed.

I mean, Castillo being played by a nigger and not Edward James Olmos? BLASPHEMY!

List of things that happened in the 1980s

1970s discofags "The Village People" tried to go New Romantic and failed due to Ronald Reagan passing a law that gave them compulsory AIDS.

• The rise of New Wave.
• Morrissey invented gayds.
• Ronald Reagan fucked up the black person.
• Budd Dwyer blew his fucking brains out.
• Crossfire YEAH! YEAH!
• Millennials start to be spawned IRL
• Internet stalking was yet to be invented.
• Boy George had an adventure.
• Danny Elfman sang that Weird Science song.
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Dragon Ball showed kids how to kill each other.
• DuckTales taught children the virtues of venture capitalism.
• Nintendo was invented, thereby enabling basement dwellers to spread rumors that some guy spent so long gaming that he died of malnourishment.
• Traci Lords made everyone a pedophile.
• J-pop stopped evolving permanently.
• Anime characters had Western names.
• Animation dropped in quality from entertaining stories to being just shitty toy commercials.
• M*A*S*H made whitey cry!
• Chris-chan is born.
• Many, many hair crimes. Ozone layer nearly entirely destroyed due to excessive use of Aqua*Net hairspray.
• Everyone looked like trailer trash in stirrup pants and stilettos.
• J.R. Ewing got shot. Everybody cared.
• Black midgets everywhere! Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis are still trying to figure out WTF happened.
• Bill and Ted had an Excellent Adventure.
• John Hughes' "blame the grownups" movies were considered high art by sixteen year old girls everywhere.
• Your sister had a crush on John Taylor from Duran Duran.
• Your brother had a crush on Nick Rhodes from Duran Duran.
• Your mom thought shoulder pads that made her look like a linebacker were attractive.
• Your mom also trampled other moms to get you the last Cabbage Patch doll in stock.
• People were not ashamed to be seen in public with rat-tails and mullets. Aimee Mann, then in a band pretentiously named 'til tuesday, may have had the most impressive rat-tail of all.
• Cyndi Lauper made trash-picking fashionable.
• People were still too retarded to figure out that shaving your pubic hair was way more comfortable and aesthetically pleasing.
• Madonna started screwing her way to the middle, starting with Jellybean Benitez, while living on popcorn and McDonald's french fries she dug out of dumpsters.
• Andy Warhol died after gallbladder surgery.
• Metallica was still metal.
• Punky Brewster became an early bloomer.
• Michael Jackson was still black.
• MTV actually had music videos.
• Pretty-boy hair-rock bands discovered that spandex wears better than denim.
• The Cure made 16 year old girls who cry in a corner, dress in all black, and hang out in cemeteries cool.

See Also

• Time
• 1990s
• 1984
• Telekinesis
• Retro
• Shut Up, Little Man!

This is a disambiguation page — we hope you feel less ambiguated.