User:DingoYabuki/Alexander Gavenus

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Alexander Gavenus, also going by computerguy99 and Mew, Rizadon, Serval, Phaze, or Raksada on IRC is a fatass autistic emo furry 13 year old boy who has no life or irl friends. He lives in North Carolina and can be found on Rizon and LeafGhoul, an IRC server you have probably never heard of because it is so shit. He is a perfect example of why Amurrica's children should not be exposed to the internets.

	“	Lol, it's :p not :po, and I said I DIDN'T HAVE FRIENDS	„
	— At least he's self-aware.

My penis is very big.

Moar Info

He believes that he is the smartest person in the world because he attends and is failing a class for ninth graders when he is just in eighth. He is rich, although he will deny it despite his countless computers and phones. He will cry and literally beg for money if he wants something online because he does not have a Gaypal account. He is a spoiled douchebag who always wants his way and will scream and bitch at you in caps until you finally give in if he does not have ops. If he does have operator status and you are in the same channel as him, he will ban your ass if you don't praise and worship him for being so awesome.

Alex will use proper grammar, attempting to impress the ops. He will shove it into their face that he is "only 13" and expect them to be super surprised and impressed and give him operator status, but this does not work very often because really no one gives a fuck.

When he is an op in a channel, he will act like he runs the channel and is greatly superior to everyone else. However, when you take his op away, what remains is a crybaby faggot begging to have his "power" returned to him, using all caps and swearing until he finally leaves the channel, usually telling us that the channel is "blacklisted" in his /part.

	“	Mar 06 20:30:15 <Mew> where Mar 06 20:30:15 <Mew> the Mar 06 20:30:15 <Mew> fuck Mar 06 20:30:15 <Mew> is Mar 06 20:30:15 <Mew> my Mar 06 20:30:15 <Mew> +ao	„

Alex's main source of information is Google. One would think of this as smart thinking on his part, but his retardation kicks in when he just copies and pastes shit he doesn't even know anything about and claims that he knows all about it. When he gets questioned further about the subject, his responses become slower because he has to force himself to read tl:dr things just to make himself look smart.

Alex is one of those people who consider themselves to be better than weeaboos. He does not watch anime or listen to J-pop. Instead he does worse; claiming that he knows Japanese when all he really knows is how to use Jewgle Translate. For example, if the topic of Japanese language is brought up, he will type random shit into Google Translate and paste it, acting as if he knew what it meant the whole time.

	“	Feb 01 23:08:25 <Scourge> Tenchi literally translates back as "heaven and earth"	„
	— Cool Google Translate skills.

Drama

Alexander has a tendency for crying over the smallest things, be it trolling or name calling. He might know how to type code in html with his sausage fingers and use linux but what he doesn't know is how to deal with the mean people on the interwebs out to get him. He takes everything on the internet seriously and will baaaaawww if you say something true about his pathetic life, such as saying he is gay, fat, stupid, can't computer, or even just calling his mom something not nice. (He gets very butthurt when you say anything regarding his mother.) He hates it when he loses "friends" that he meets online. Maybe if he considered going out and making irl friends he wouldn't consistently have this problem. He also finds it necessary to announce to the world whenever he drops and breaks his laptops and phones, usually crying in his channel or via PM to his "friends" and threatening to kill himself. When he is mad or upset he will threaten to commit suicide like anyone gives a fuck and sometimes even ban himself from his own channel. If you have not figured out yet, his method of gaining sympathy is by attention whoring and threatening. Unfortunately for him, no one except his very small group of internet friends give a fuck about whether he cuts himself over words on the internet or not.

Here is an IRC argument that noone cares about between him and some faggot.

Nov 20 11:20:48 <DingoYabuki>	Well Mew is being rude and overreacting over something stupid.
Nov 20 11:21:10 <DingoYabuki>	So really, I could not care less if he hates me.
Nov 20 11:21:50 <Nightfury>	basically, fuck you
Nov 20 11:22:10 <Nightfury>	you know if you really deserved me you would at least have not said anything
Nov 20 11:22:39 <Nightfury>	at first I mean
Nov 20 11:22:42 <Nightfury>	you idiot
Nov 20 11:22:57 <DingoYabuki>	If you expected me to not say anything, you should have just not sent me anything at all.
Nov 20 11:23:03 <Nightfury>	HEH.
Nov 20 11:23:07 <Nightfury>	LMAO.
Nov 20 11:23:15 <DingoYabuki>	I don't see what is funny
Nov 20 11:23:24 <Nightfury>	you're probably a Bui, you pretend like you care, you really make me honestly believe that you do care and then you reveal that you don't when I'm already upset in hopes of getting me to kill myself.
Nov 20 11:23:55 <Nightfury>	Universe, o.o
Nov 20 11:23:55 <DingoYabuki>	I used to care, but now you're being ridiculous so I don't anymore
Nov 20 11:25:31 <Nightfury>	HEH
Nov 20 11:25:38 <Nightfury>	H FUCKING E FUCKING H
Nov 20 11:25:42 <Nightfury>	Fuck you.
Nov 20 11:25:53 <DingoYabuki>	You're being an attention whore.
Nov 20 11:25:58 <Nightfury>	Lol.
Nov 20 11:26:06 <Nightfury>	A friend would have dealt with it.
Nov 20 11:26:10 <Nightfury>	Been neutral or positive
Nov 20 11:26:45 <Nightfury>	or at least pretended to be
Nov 20 11:27:03 <Nightfury>	I like how you're not letting me be the bad person
Nov 20 11:36:11 <DingoYabuki>	And since I don't, I become a hated retard.
Nov 20 11:36:17 <DingoYabuki>	wonderful.
Nov 20 11:36:20 <Nightfury>	yep
Nov 20 11:36:41 <Nightfury>	because a lot of other people like me because they see that I'm a good person and don't care that I'm' pretty damn faulty
Nov 20 11:36:43 <Nightfury>	unlike you
Nov 20 11:37:42 <Nightfury>	you're perfect pony
Nov 20 11:37:44 <Nightfury>	except not
Nov 20 11:38:01 <Nightfury>	god damn flamer (in multiple ways
Nov 20 11:38:02 <Nightfury>	)
Nov 20 11:41:07 <DingoYabuki>	I'll bet you are the only person on IRC who thinks I am a flamer. See, anyone else would not get so offended by small, harmless insults that were not even directed to them. You on the other hand...you get pissed if you take something I say the wrong way and become all emo because of it.
Nov 20 11:41:32 <DingoYabuki>	You're being emo and offensive because I called you a quitter and pathetic, seriously?
Nov 20 11:41:43 <DingoYabuki>	When it's totally true
Nov 20 11:43:43 <DingoYabuki>	God damn, can I have my own opinion? I think it's pathetic that you give up so easily, and you get butthurt and start name calling.
Nov 20 11:43:58 <Nightfury>	<&DingoYabuki> You're being emo and offensive because I called you a quitter and pathetic, seriously?
Nov 20 11:44:07 <DingoYabuki>	Then ban me from your channel and complain that you want to kill yourself

Sexuality

Alexander is a homosexual, and he will actually cry if you bring this up to him because he lives in a homophobic enviroment and is constantly reminded irl that all faggots deserve to get beaten up and go to hell.

Furry

Alex has a fetish for gay muscle furry art, being the sick fuck that he is. He constantly changes his "fursona"s, if you would even call them that (He always acts the same, whether or not he is in "his" character) he steals from DeviantART, which are always wolves or pokemon without shirts on who have overdosed on steroids, looking so muscular they look unhealthy. Some argue that this is his way of pretending to be a person he wants to be. However, he will always remain an overweight kid who needs to lay off McDonalds and Twinkies.

Quotes

	“	[Mew has address [email protected]] Nov 20 09:48:57 <Mew> k so I know I spew this out randomly but I'm considering suicie again and fuck you if you really wanted me as a friend and to meet me in the future you would know to be positive or to shut up Nov 20 09:49:01 <Mew> >floof Nov 20 09:49:03 <Mew> I hate you, i hate em Nov 20 09:49:05 <Mew> me Nov 20 09:49:12 <DingoYabuki> Cool story	„
	—Alex rambling about suicide for the millionth time.

	“	Jan 20 17:11:38 <Mew> I want to rub my cat's vagina...	„

	“	Jan 22 19:42:54 <Mew> I may be diabetic Jan 22 19:42:54 <Mew> That's grounds for Suicide!	„
	—Yes, it is. Now please kill yourself.

Mar 05 18:49:34 <DingoYabuki>	He should jump off of a bridge
 
Mar 05 18:49:38 <DingoYabuki>	He's a terrible op

Mar 05 18:49:50 <Mew>	..

Mar 05 18:50:08 <Mew>	maybe you should instead and I should cut myself to death

Mar 05 18:50:08 <DingoYabuki>	He's worse than esknuk3r lol

Mar 05 18:50:10 <Mew>	I'm in one of those moods.

Mar 05 18:50:41 <DingoYabuki>	Why should I jump off a bridge? I'm not the one banning people just because I dislike them x3

Mar 05 18:51:23 <Mew>	because I should die <3

Mar 05 18:51:55 <DingoYabuki>	Or maybe he's op so whatever he says goes and he can be as much as an asshole as he wants

Mar 05 18:52:07 <Mew>	because I should die <3

Mar 05 18:52:18 <DingoYabuki>	Stop being so emo

Mar 05 18:52:22 <DingoYabuki>	why are you being emo

Mar 05 18:52:30 <DingoYabuki>	there's nothing to be depressed about

Mar 05 18:52:31 <Mew>	because nothing is going right for me
Mar 05 18:52:38 <Mew>	my nice new laptop is essentially broken
Mar 05 18:52:42 <Mew>	we're GOING to lose the house
Mar 05 18:52:52 <Mew>	unless something super-special happens, there are no ifs and ors buts
Mar 05 18:53:08 <Mew>	people are betraying me right and left
Mar 05 18:53:34 <Mew>	i hold a special respect for zz because he can stand me to be an oper
Mar 05 18:53:43 <DingoYabuki>	pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft
Mar 05 18:53:54 <DingoYabuki>	loloololooooooooololoooolololololol
Mar 05 18:54:04 <Mew>	I feel like
Mar 05 18:54:06 <Mew>	a piece of shit
Mar 05 18:54:12 <DingoYabuki>	I got salt in my eyes ;_;
Mar 05 18:54:31 <DingoYabuki>	quit the intewebs and do something tfun
Mar 05 18:54:32 <DingoYabuki>	fun
Mar 05 18:54:34 <DingoYabuki>	I mean irc
Mar 05 18:54:36 <Mew>	fun = die
Mar 05 18:54:39 <DingoYabuki>	not really. }}

	“	Sep 13 21:00:57 <Phaze> I'm sexy	„
	—Yes, overweight autistic kids with microscopic penises are very sexy.

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