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Dr. Steel: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|It all comes down to having fun. We spend our lives trapped, when all we really want to do is play. So, let the people play! Let us build a Utopian Playland.|Dr. Steel, [[batshit insane|making perfect sense]].}} | {{quote|It all comes down to having fun. We spend our lives trapped, when all we really want to do is play. So, let the people play! Let us build a Utopian Playland.|Dr. Steel, [[batshit insane|making perfect sense]].}} | ||
Despite his [[retard|strange]] ideas, Dr. Steel [[ya rly|actually]] does have [[at least 100|some]] pretty [[shit|catchy]] music - even though his entire discography consists of a little over [[lame|two-dozen songs]](36) on three albums that were released almost 10 years ago. [http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=dr.+steel&x=0&y=0 Amazon doesn't even offer the physical discs - only an .Mp3 download, PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON.] Since then, he has only released 3 other tracks, "[[murder|Thudd]]," "[[TV|Land of the Lost]]," and some gay, [[industrial]]-[[screamo]] cover of the [[pedophile|Inspector Gadget]] theme song (and "Read Along" if you count that gay, 16 second intro track). His music is [[at least 100]] times better and more original than anything currently on the radio, but that doesn't make it good (since everything playing on the radio is either [[ | Despite his [[retard|strange]] ideas, Dr. Steel [[ya rly|actually]] does have [[at least 100|some]] pretty [[shit|catchy]] music - even though his entire discography consists of a little over [[lame|two-dozen songs]](36) on three albums that were released almost 10 years ago. [http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_gw?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=dr.+steel&x=0&y=0 Amazon doesn't even offer the physical discs - only an .Mp3 download, PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON.] Since then, he has only released 3 other tracks, "[[murder|Thudd]]," "[[TV|Land of the Lost]]," and some gay, [[industrial]]-[[screamo]] cover of the [[pedophile|Inspector Gadget]] theme song (and "Read Along" if you count that gay, 16 second intro track). His music is [[at least 100]] times better and more original than anything currently on the radio, but that doesn't make it good (since everything playing on the radio is either The [[Jonas Brothers]] or some black person [[rap]]ping about taking a shit). Ke$ha sucks but at least you can understand what she is saying. Dr. Steel overproduces his vocals until he sounds like Darth Vader getting a blow job from a garbage disposal. He claims to be "Industrial Hip Hop" which is to say, it's typical gay goth garbage with a sample-heavy beat. However, both Trent Reznor and Asher Roth could beat this guy up without breaking a sweat (and probably already would have if they had ever heard of him). | ||
If you should choose to [http://www.toysoldiersunite.com/application.php enlist to become a Toy Soldier], it will soon be apparent that you've just [[lol|signed yourself into an actual draft]]. If, at any time Dr. Steel needs some new [[slaves|nurses]] (his equivalent to stagehands) he may very well contact [[you]] if he's in your area. Should you refuse, congratulations! You just saved yourself from the hambeasts that attend his shows, their stink forming a haze around his person at all times. [[sick fuck|But maybe he likes it that way.]] | If you should choose to [http://www.toysoldiersunite.com/application.php enlist to become a Toy Soldier], it will soon be apparent that you've just [[lol|signed yourself into an actual draft]]. If, at any time Dr. Steel needs some new [[slaves|nurses]] (his equivalent to stagehands) he may very well contact [[you]] if he's in your area. Should you refuse, congratulations! You just saved yourself from the hambeasts that attend his shows, their stink forming a haze around his person at all times. [[sick fuck|But maybe he likes it that way.]] | ||
Revision as of 17:44, 23 April 2011
Dr. Steel aka Dr. Horrible Rip-Off (or Dr. Steal) (his mom called him Rion Vernon) is an underground musician who is either a very good actor, batshit crazy, or a less-than-successful "artist" who wants teenage loners to give him their money. He's cobbled together a ridiculous, trite "backstory" about how no one understood him in the big, mean ole toy industry, so he burned the place down, became a mad scientist, and now makes dolls with buzzsaws for hands. Yeah. His totally original goal is to, in essence, create a Utopian Playland by taking over the world with his Toy Soldier army. He also likes to use puppets in his live shows which makes sense because his audience consists of stuffed animals he's invited over for a tea party since he has no real fans.
Dr. Steel is a pioneer in the art of using sockpuppets IRL. He pays models (yes, those are models not real fans) and then goes around bragging about his legion of fans. With his vast reserve of jew gold he pays people to say how awesome he is and spout his inane observations on message boards and on this page. One such fan originally made this page as a love letter to Dr. Horrible's retard twin. What rhymes with "backfire?"
His full name is Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel, leading to the unfortunate childhood nickname of Penis.
—Dr. Steel, making perfect sense. | ||
Despite his strange ideas, Dr. Steel actually does have some pretty catchy music - even though his entire discography consists of a little over two-dozen songs(36) on three albums that were released almost 10 years ago. Amazon doesn't even offer the physical discs - only an .Mp3 download, PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON. Since then, he has only released 3 other tracks, "Thudd," "Land of the Lost," and some gay, industrial-screamo cover of the Inspector Gadget theme song (and "Read Along" if you count that gay, 16 second intro track). His music is at least 100 times better and more original than anything currently on the radio, but that doesn't make it good (since everything playing on the radio is either The Jonas Brothers or some black person rapping about taking a shit). Ke$ha sucks but at least you can understand what she is saying. Dr. Steel overproduces his vocals until he sounds like Darth Vader getting a blow job from a garbage disposal. He claims to be "Industrial Hip Hop" which is to say, it's typical gay goth garbage with a sample-heavy beat. However, both Trent Reznor and Asher Roth could beat this guy up without breaking a sweat (and probably already would have if they had ever heard of him).
If you should choose to enlist to become a Toy Soldier, it will soon be apparent that you've just signed yourself into an actual draft. If, at any time Dr. Steel needs some new nurses (his equivalent to stagehands) he may very well contact you if he's in your area. Should you refuse, congratulations! You just saved yourself from the hambeasts that attend his shows, their stink forming a haze around his person at all times. But maybe he likes it that way.
Most commonly seen wearing a lab coat, goggles, and gloves, Dr. Steel unintentionally resembles Professor Membrane from the Invader Zim series, which leaves us with the question, who stole from who? And who would give a fuck?
Sometimes while on stage he'll remove his coat and rocks around in a wife beater to remind the nurses on stage that he is white trash no matter how much he pays them to pretend he's a genius.
His Music
Free Dr. Steel music can be difficult to find because anyone who has his CDs would rather claw their eardrums out than afflict the masses with his poison. Dr. Steel's music can be bought on the usual websites as well as his own. His style is techno/industrial, which is to say Nine Inch Nails with a whole lot of buttsecks. Albino Blacksheep hosts a flash music video made by Starkravenmadd featuring Dr. Steel's Fibonacci Sequence here.
Torrents are the best way to dl Dr. Steel; that way, you can do the same amount of work downloading his music as he does actually producing it. His discography can be found here and here.
Lament For A Toy Factory
His lyrics vary from building robots, whining about how we're all COGS IN THE MACHINE, MAN, bikinigrams from Satan, and other stupid shit. Strangely, he seems to be very Anti-Mason, even to go as far as writing to "show their conspiracy." It has been known to attract devianTARTS, so it is best not to listen to his music near large groups of people, and incredibly retarded to announce that you are listening to Dr. Steel on a forum, chatroom, or any other place because everyone knows Dr. Horrible was first.
Dr. Drama
A curious development involving Dr. Steel is that Christians are taking notice to him, which will most likely generate an epic amount of lulz in the near future. Thinking Christian did an article concerning Dr. Steel, starting off the piece with one of his quotes:
The hilarious, though not surprising part of this article is that the author actually takes Dr. Steel 100% seriously; his philosophies and views, even his desire to rule the world. The author goes on to end the article with a warning to all Toy Soldiers and Dr. Steel fans:
Jerry Falwell would be proud.
The Reality Behind Dr. Steel
This not-surprisingly fictional messiah for steampunk faggots was created by (or with help from) a retard who will piss on a page and call it "art", Rion Vernon. Did we mention Vernon can't draw worth a shit?
On Aug 30th, 2002 the Dr. Steel trademark was registered by Vernon who looks an awful lot like Steel. In fact, some who have gotten close enough say he has a barcode tattoo on the back of his neck. Oh wait! So does Vernon!
File:Vernon2.pngFile:Vernon3.png
These are old pictures retrieved from internet archives and you used to be able to find them on his website. He has edited the one on the left to remove his "Dr. Steel-esque" beard and changed the one on the right so you cannot see the barcode on his neck.
After successfully becoming Dr. Steel he waited 7 FUCKING YEARS to try to remove his name from the public trademark register since he didn't want the faggotry surrounding Dr. Steel associated with himself, but of course he couldn't keep up with his paperwork, so his request was denied. "Dr. Steel" is currently owned by Calypso Productions, who Vernon had originally formed a partnership with to separate you stupid fucks from your money... making crappy t-shirts and compact disks with Dr. Steel's ugly ass on them.
Some of the fans aren't even real. Check this bitch out. Vanessa is some kind of model who somehow got her fat ass on the payroll with Dr. Steel as one of the original nurses, and is friends with Vernon. Her myspace is titled "messystench" and she writes about penises, crappy music, and what we would otherwise refer to as utter shit.
In short, Dr. Steel's real name is Rion Vernon, and he is a scam. Now fuck off.
Dr. Steel Image Gallery
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Reading the script of Dr. Horrible's Sing A Long Blog, Phineas has an idea . . . -
Got Cum? -
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World Domination: Serious Business -
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Toy Soldier nurses: Paid Models or Models That Were Paid? -
Why is Dr. Horrible surrounded by robots? -
Dr. Steel can be pretty clueless even on his own fucking show.
See Also
- Doctor Insano - Another shitty internet doctor.
- Insane Clown Posse - Like Dr. Steel, only dumber.
- Juggalos - Like Toy soldiers, only dumber.
- Goth
- Steampunk
External Links
- Official Site of Dr. Steel
- Dr. Steel's YouTube
- Dr. Steel's MySpace
- Video: Back and Forth
- Dr. Steel on Building a Utopian Playland
- Dr. Steel Live at The Key Club
- Dr. Steel Propaganda
- Slow news day at MTV.com
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Dr. Steel is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |