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American Airlines Flight 63: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Richard Reid's shoes.jpeg|thumb|The weapons of choice.|200px]]
[[File:Richard Reid's shoes.jpeg|thumb|The weapons of choice.|200px]]
[[File:Shoebomb schematic.jpg|right|200px]]


After being given his tactical footwear by his al-Qaeda buddies in Afghanistan, Reid set out from France to Miami on December 21, however, due to his "[[ugly|unshevillous]] appearance” and lack of baggage, he aroused the suspicion of security. But because he was "[[Sandnigger|British]]" and wasn’t on any blacklists, they let him on, not that he would go on to cause alot of damage anyway.
After being given his tactical footwear by his al-Qaeda buddies in Afghanistan, Reid set out from France to Miami on December 21, however, due to his "[[ugly|unshevillous]] appearance” and lack of baggage, he aroused the suspicion of security. But because he was "[[Sandnigger|British]]" and wasn’t on any blacklists, they let him on, not that he would go on to cause alot of damage anyway.
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{{timeline|[[ED:AOTN|Featured Article]] May 3, [[2024]]|[[Regina Hill]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Comic]]}}

Latest revision as of 16:39, 25 August 2024

FACT ALERT:
8 years and 3 days later, another Al-Qaeda nigger failed to blow up a plane but used his underwear as a bomb instead and failed even harder than this guy.
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Error creating thumbnail: File missing
Richard Reid
Aliases Shoe Bomber, Sweaty Socks, Retard
Nationality: British Sandnigger United Kingdom
Born August 12, 1973 (51 years old)
Highscore 0 killed, 0 injured
Top 50? No way in Jahannam
Style Single player, Bomberman, Microsoft Flight Simulator
An Hero? No, subdued by passengers then v&
Motive Snackbar

On December 22, 2001, 'twas 3 days till Christmas Day and 3 months after 9/11, American Airlines Flight 93 was supposed to be a smoothsailing trip from Paris to Miami for 197 passengers of the Boeing 767, but for 1 additional occupant, it was the target for an operation of martyrdom. This additional occupant was Richard Colvin Reid, a "British" member of al-Qaeda whose plan was to cause an extreme incident of lulz where he would use a bomb to blow up the plane in the name of Allah, this would have made the already butthurt nation of America fall to it’s knees infront of Islam even further, however, Richard’s only flaw in this plan was that he was extremely autistic and chose to use a bomb made out of his shoes.

Background

Not too long before this sad excuse of an attack on an airliner, 19 fellow al-Qaeda members did it right when each of them hijacked 4 different planes and caused 9/11. This caused the fatties of the USA to already fear Islam by a large margin, not to mention air travel, so in this time of uncertainty, an attack on this scale of seriousness would have raped the country even more. This obviously would not be the case.

Richard was born in London, meaning he was destined to a life of crime from the very beginning, and this is exactly how his life played out, he began stealing cars, doing graffiti and stealing from the elderly, after all of these minor crimes, he felt the troll's remorse and converted to Islam, which surely would have changed his life for the better.

He began visiting the Finsbury Park Mosque in Finsbury Park, London. Finsbury Park Mosque has an interesting set of connections tied to it. What was originally a church became the United Kingdom's hub for aspiring terrorists when Abu Hamza al-Masri became it’s imam and taught worshippers Islamic fundamentalism and told them to commit terrorist attacks to the max. This (and a few visits to Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan) likely caused Richard to decide to try for martyrdom. By the way, a 9/11 conspirator went to Finsbury Park Mosque, also a sheep-raper ran over some of the Muslims there with a van as revenge for the London Bridge terrorist attack in 2017.

Day of Action

The weapons of choice.

After being given his tactical footwear by his al-Qaeda buddies in Afghanistan, Reid set out from France to Miami on December 21, however, due to his "unshevillous appearance” and lack of baggage, he aroused the suspicion of security. But because he was "British" and wasn’t on any blacklists, they let him on, not that he would go on to cause alot of damage anyway.

Once on the plane a day later, he was sat all alone in the window seat and began attempting to light a match to start the fuse sticking out of his shoe. A passenger complained about a smell of smoke and when a flight attendant named Hermis Moutardier saw him, she thought he was smoking and told him to stop and he complied (temporarily).

He tried again, but when the flight attendant came back and saw his shoes, she shouted "WHAT ARE THOSE!!!", in response to this he grabbed her and held up his shoe in front of the passengers to try and scare them. This did absolutely nothing since they were looking at what looked nothing like a bomb but instead just an ordinary sneaker. As the flame met with the explosive material… nothing happened because it turns out the autist’s feet were sweating too much which dampened the fuse and explosive material meaning it wouldn’t detonate. In the end, they ended up restraining him using headphone wires and he got arrested. What a stupid faggot.

Aftermath

Where Richard will spend the next 185 years of his life, all thanks to taxpayer's money.

He was arrested as soon as the plane landed and 2 days later on Christmas Eve, he was put on trial in federal court where it was determined that his shoes could have definetely been powerful enough to crash the entire plane.

Reid called himself a “Soldier of God” in court and didn’t seem to care that he could've murdered nearly 200 people. Eventually, the tard was convicted of a gazillion different crimes and was sentenced to 3 consecutive life sentences plus 110 years without the possibility of parole. He will be serving this sentence in ADX Florence, the highest security prison in the U.S., the same prison where the Finsbury Park Mosque imam Abu Hamza al-Masri and his buddy Zacarias Moussaoui are serving their sentences.

8 years later in 2009, in a similar vain to Ricky, an equally-retarded negro named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to do the same thing but using his underwear, however the underwear bomb malfunctioned and instead caught fire, roasting his penis. In the end, life will go on. Nobody remembers Richard in this modern day and the only notable effect he has had on society is that you now have to take your shoes off and have them be inspected during airport security, he will now rot in ADX Florence, a victim of his own uncontrollable moistness.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 0/20
Accuracy: 1/20 Bit a flight attendant's thumb.
Style: 5/20 Successfully got through airport security but got cucked by his own sweaty toes and some headphone wires.
Butthurt: 2/20 Nobody cared except for lower-class feds.
Bonus: 5/20 Inspired another failure to make a bomb with his underwear, the reason airports check your shoes now.
Total Score: 12/100 (F----)
Don't sweat it next time
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

National Guard


TFW your terrorist plot is foiled by your own toe liquid.

Videos


Guy who helped subdue Richard on the plane


The flight attendant who talked to him


YouTube documentary on the incident

Gallery

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See also

External links

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