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[[Image:Nerdcame.jpg|center]]


[[Image:Nerdpukedo7.gif|thumb|right|Because calling a 25-year-old video game that no one gives a shit about anymore a piece of "monkey-fuck" supplies insta-lulz. ]]
<center><youtube>eIPeJqzYois</youtube></center>


[[Image:angry_nerd.jpg|thumb|right|The last horrifiying thing you see as he strangles the life out of you with his bare hands.]]
{{spoiler|James Rolfe has "No Time" to give a fuck about anything let alone the state of his dying channel}}


'''The Angry Video Game Nerd''' (aka James [[rofl|Rolfe]]) is a [[basement dweller|basement dwelling]], [[ADD|ADD-ridden]], nerdraged, [[shit | fecalphiliac]], [[furry]] who creates long-winded, monotone Gametrailers.com videos where he "reviews" bad [[video games]] and, extending to his Youtube account, films. Instead of actually reviewing the games like a professional slapstick author (video game reviewing is [[serious business]]), he just yells infantile cusswords (about at a 12-year-old's level) at his [[television]] screen. [[13-year-old boy|You]], the viewer, find this hilarious. Most of them roughly consist of off-key utterances from some shit-eating whacked out autistic chug, e.g. [[WTF|"What the fuck!"]] [[trying too hard|"What the fuckin' fuck!!"]] [[unfunny|"What a piece of fuck!"]].  
[[Image:Nerdpukedo7.gif|frame|right|Because calling a video game that's over a quarter-century old and that no one gives a shit about anymore a piece of "monkey-fuck" supplies insta-lulz. ]]
 
'''''The Angry Video Game Nerd''''' (aka James "roach" [[rofl|Rolfe]]) is a [[basement dweller|basement dwelling]], [[ADD|ADD-ridden]], nerdraged, [[shit|coprophiliac]], [[furry]] who creates long-winded, monotone Gametrailers.com videos where he "reviews" bad [[video games]] and, extending to his [[YouTube]] account, films. Instead of actually reviewing the games like a professional slapstick author (video game reviewing is [[serious business]]), he just yells infantile cusswords (about at a 12-year-old's level) at his [[television]] screen. [[13-year-old boy|You]], the viewer, find this hilarious. Most of them roughly consist of off-key utterances from some shit-eating whacked out autistic chug, e.g. [[WTF|"What the fuck!"]] [[trying too hard|"What the fuckin' fuck!!"]] [[unfunny|"What a piece of fuck!"]].  


At the end of a review, he repeatedly [[scat|talks about topics surrounding shit]], such as how he longs for the game to be over so he could milk a bull's asshole (or his own) inside out, take a shit on a game, or simply talk about shit itself. Because really, nothing is funnier than [[Family Guy|doing the same joke over and over again]].
At the end of a review, he repeatedly [[scat|talks about topics surrounding shit]], such as how he longs for the game to be over so he could milk a bull's asshole (or his own) inside out, take a shit on a game, or simply talk about shit itself. Because really, nothing is funnier than [[Family Guy|doing the same joke over and over again]].
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[[Image:Nerd-Shirt.jpg|thumb|right|[[you|What kind of a complete anti-social, perma-virgin would actually wear this shit?]]]]
[[Image:Nerd-Shirt.jpg|thumb|right|[[you|What kind of a complete anti-social, perma-virgin would actually wear this shit?]]]]


Angry Nintendo Nerd has officially changed his named to "Angry Video Game Nerd" (AVaGiNa) so he wouldn't get sued by Nintendo for making shitty shirts with his catchphrases on them, thereby [[LINK_MAH_BOIIIII|associating "Nintendo"]] with this schizoid, liberal [[Beastiality|bullfuck]] phenomenon. It should be noted that regardless of this [[stupid|legal genius]], he still has an IQ dwarfed by that of the average [[4chan]] user's left [[Ball|testicle]].
''Angry Nintendo Nerd'' has officially changed his named to ''Angry Video Game Nerd'' (AVaGiNa) so he wouldn't get sued by Nintendo for making shitty shirts with his catchphrases on them, thereby [[LINK_MAH_BOIIIII|associating "Nintendo"]] with this schizoid, liberal [[Beastiality|bullfuck]] phenomenon. In reality, ''AVGN'' never mentions politics, so it's best to conclude that a butthurt conservative would label him liberal. In all possibility, this inflammation of said conservative's asshole probably originate in the Mecha-Christ 2000 character from ''AVGN''. Don't mess with the precious Jeebus man. It should be noted that regardless of this [[stupid|legal genius]], he still has an IQ dwarfed by that of the average [[4chan]] user's left [[Ball|testicle]].


However, despite the explosion of "[[faggots|Angry Internet Reviewers]]" that shat out all over YouTube after his generating fame in 2006, James has maintained [[pedophile|a meek, friendly, and down-to-earth visage]] when interacting with his [[insane|fans]] through vlogs or conventions (unlike other [[Spoony|reviewers]] and [[TGWTG|conglomerates]] whose egos have inflated to a size comparable to [[Girlvinyl|Girlvinyl's]] total body mass), to this day. ...However, it is speculated that under this guise of a shy and soft-spoken Internet celebrity, James, deep down, is most likely a homicidal maniac who'll slash a bitch's throat the first moment his temper is tested.
However, despite the explosion of "[[faggots|Angry Internet Reviewers]]" that shat out all over YouTube after his generating fame in 2006, James has maintained [[pedophile|a meek, friendly, and down-to-earth visage]] when interacting with his [[insane|fans]] through vlogs or conventions (unlike other [[The Spoony Experiment|reviewers]] and [[That Guy With The Glasses|conglomerates]] whose egos have inflated to a size comparable to [[Girlvinyl|Girlvinyl's]] total body mass), to this day. However, [[some say|it is speculated]] that under this guise of a shy and soft-spoken Internet celebrity, James, deep down, is most likely a homicidal maniac who'll slash a bitch's throat the first moment his temper is tested.


==Reviews==
==Reviews==
{{right|{{Photoframe|Thenerd|border: 1px solid green; padding: 5px;|font-weight: bold;
|[[File:Staring nerd.jpg|200px]]{{center|''AVGN'' is [[ceiling cat|watching you masturbate]].}}
|[[Image:Batrape3.gif|Image:Batrape3.gif|200px]]{{center|A [[typical]] episode.}}
|[[Image:Irapegamer.png|Image:Irapegamer.png|200px]]{{center|[[irate_gamer|''The Angry Nintendo Nerd's'' Buttfucker]].}}
|[[File:Nerdcame.jpg|File:Nerdcame.jpg|200px]]{{center|Confirmed victim of [[Wacko Jacko]].}}
}}}}
Although it is true that most of the games he reviews are complete and utter horseshit, his reasons for hating them mainly boil down to him sucking capital ass at video games. It appears the ''Angry Video Game Nerd'' (read: Unfunny Video Game Faggot) has reviewed every [[old]] game that [[you]]'ve never heard of, and that his shit-related phrase count is well [[over 9,000]] (to the delight of no one).
<center>
{{morphquote|ASSSSSS|background-color: #9C6D15;|font-weight: bold;
|I WOULDNT TALK WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST FAGGOT IN THE WORLD.|Official ''AVGN'' website - Admitting he only talks to faggots
|I wanna nail Roger Rabbit to the fucking cross!|James Rolfe
|You don't know shit about how fucking shitty this fucking shit is!|James showing off his impressive vocabulary
|I'd rather fuckin' 69 a grizzly bear while shoving King Kong up my ass! I'd rather fuckin' stand in the middle of a ring of monkeys as they pelt me to death with their own anal waste!|We get it, you'd rather fuck shit-covered animals while another animal with stomach problems empties its bowels into your ear than play games.
}}</center>
It seems to be [[Unfunny|funny]] to 99% of the world when someone adds 'fuck' at the end of a word and pretends to suck at video games similar to how the [[Tourette's Guy]] pretends to suck at life which is kind of [[irony|ironic]] since both him and the ''AVGN'' talk about having sex with animals.
For example: "cockadooky bullfuck". Now that was some major [[no|lulz]]? How about "shitload of fuck"? Not just a load of fuck, but a ''shitload'' of it! How does he come up with this stuff?{{clear}}
===Accurate examples of his reviews===


[[Image:Nerdrage.gif|thumb|left|It's unfunny because he's upset and it's funny to laugh at people who are upset at video games (that may be true, but he is epic fail at trying to act angry).]]
<center>{{fv|starvids2|background-color: #fcfe7b;|font-weight: bold;
|<center><youtube>OGGmISKoXbU</youtube><br>
'''AVGN - Resistance: Fall of Man'''</center>
|<center><youtube>amsEDQ9FCd4</youtube><br>
'''AVGN - Gears of War'''</center>
|<center><youtube>CqJTDbhPW3U</youtube><br>
'''AVGN - The Orange Box'''</center>
|<center><youtube>39cZaJKTTi8</youtube><br>
'''AVGN - Zelda: Twilight Princess'''</center>
|<center><youtube>UaeZhXKqArQ</youtube><br>
'''I'd rather suck my own dick than watch this shitass video!'''</center>|
}}</center>


[[File:422949 - AVGN Angry Video Game Nerd Ash Ketchum Gothzilla James Rolfe Nintendo Pokemon tram pararam.jpg|thumb|right|AVGN is [[ceiling cat|watching you masturbate]].]]
===Other shit on the channel===
[[not|A new and original series]] that James and Mike came up with called ''James and Mike Mondays'' has them playing various games together, although not in the same crude humor that they both usually have. Yep totally original, nothing like this came before it. This is actually less painful to watch than any newer ''AVGN'' episode, but since Mike is part of it, it's still never fun to watch.


[[Image:Batrape3.gif|thumb|left|A [[typical]] episode.]]
==Plagiarism==
Remember when rabid AVGN fanboys were giving Irate Gamer shit for being a complete hack? Now it seems that James decided to do like Irate and straight out copy a concept.
You take a video game cover. The segment is around 5 minutes. You make spurious connections with regards to the cover art. Underneath you put classical music and you have [[Yahtzee]]'s judging by the cover, and now James' "Bad Game Cover Art".  
For a comparison just look at these two:
<center><youtube>dTj80onUOV4</youtube>&nbsp;&nbsp;<youtube>NxA-WMfgcTo</youtube><br />
<big>James - perfect plagiarist </big></center>


[[Image:Irapegamer.png|thumb|left|[[irate_gamer|The Angry Nintendo Nerd's Buttfucker]]]]
==Downtime==
[[Image:GameNerd.jpg|thumb|right|Proof that the Internet is [[retarded|highly educated]] for making this [[dumbass|genius]] popular.]]
[[Image:XmasNerd.jpg|thumb|left|BRB, not being funny.]]


Although it is true that most of the games he reviews are complete and utter horseshit, his reasons for hating them mainly boil down to him sucking capital ass at video games. It appears the Angry Nintendo Nerd (read: Fugly Famicom Faggot) has reviewed every [[old]] game that [[you]]'ve never heard of, and that his shit-related phrase count is well [[over 9000]] (to the delight of no one).
Somewhere beginning of April 2007, because the [[furfag]] [[retards]] TheGameBoys account got all their [[retard|followers]] to mark all his videos as [[Furry|inappropriate]], YouTube started removing the ''ANN's'' videos obviously because he sucks a snails [[ass]] at being lulzworthy and rather ends up lookin' like an extremely annoying ADD-ridden [[13 year old|12-year-old]] who can't figure out how to work a fucking joystick. You know, the ones that come with [[Shit nobody cares about|instructions]].


{{quote|"Q: Can I talk to you on the phone? Can I hang out with you?
A: Sorry, no."|Official AVGN website|His fans don't get it, furries only!}}


{{quote|I want to nail Roger Rabbit on the fucking cross!|[[Angry Nintendo Nerd]]}}
<center><youtube>pTUtETu09oQ</youtube></center>


{{quote|You don't know shit about how fucking shitty this fucking shit is!|[[Angry Nintendo Nerd]]}}
===Suspension mk. I===
[[Last_thursday|Last week]] YouTube suspended the ''AVGN'' account. No reason was given, but lots of lulz and BAWWing were seen among the ''AVGN'' fanboys. This later turned out to be the result of GameTrailers' own incompetence. [[Epic Fail|Apparently, GameTrailers was too stupid to figure out that the one posting the ''Angry Video Game Nerd'' videos was, in fact the ''AVGN'' himself and made copyright complaints.]]


{{quote|I'd rather fuckin' 69 a grizzly bear while shoving King Kong up my ass! I'd rather fuckin' stand in the middle of a ring of monkeys as they pelt me to death with their own anal waste!|We get it, you'd rather fuck shit-covered animals while another animal with stomach problems empties its bowels into your ear than play games.}}
===[[Justice|Suspension mk. II]]===
On January 8th, 2013, both the ''JamesNintendoNerd'' and ''Cinemassacre'' channels were terminated for ToS reasons. However, this moment was short-lived, as JamesNintendoNerd's channel was re-instated in half a day. The ''Cinemassacre'' channel took longer but unfortunately, it's back.  


Butthurt fanboys then tried to find something to blame, so they decided to blame Sega for what happened. This was due to when Sega made DMCA takedowns on various YouTubers that had Shining Force in their videos (regardless of content). Despite the fact that both channels were taken down for ToS violations and not for copyright infringement, the ''AVGN'' fans continue to attack Sega. Plus, WHEN THE FUCK DID JAMES AND MIKE EVER TALK ABOUT SHINING FORCE?


==War==
When it was announced that the old arthritic bitch (Sylvester Stallone) was making a pile of shit epilogue to the ''Rambo'' series, the [[Some argue|''AVGN'' joked]] that the title would possibly be ''John Rambo''. Well, the joke was up his ass when the title was, in fact, ''John Rambo''. Fan [[faggotry]] burst like a hymen under a needle and people started lulzing under the [[irony]] (even though at the end of the video, he said that he was just fucking around, making the lulz vanish instantly).


It seems to be [[Unfunny|funny]] to 99% of the world when someone adds 'fuck' at the end of a word and pretends to suck at video games similar to how the [[Tourette's Guy]] pretends to suck at life which is kind of [[irony|ironic]] since both him and the ANN talk about having sex with animals.
Eventually, the ''AVGN'' got tired of people who mindlessly loved him (yeah, right), and in his ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre'' review, he [[almost raped|raeped]] the [[Live_journal|community]] by having his [[furry]] ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' mimic the people. This naturally felt like being penetrated through the ear by Batman, so a portion of the community left his bitch-shackling nature and have taken up the cause of [[ED]]. When fans pointed this out on YouTube, Mike Matei blocked them and deleted their comments out of [[butthurt]]. [[Win|And thanks to ED pointing this out, the very same review now requires approval for comments.]]


For example, "Cockadooky Bullfuck". Now that was some major [[lulz]], [[amirite]]? How about "shitload of fuck"? Not just a load of fuck, but a ''shitload'' of it! How does he come up with this stuff?{{clear}}
==Mike Matei==
[[File:Mike Matei Face.jpg|175px]]
{{Main|Mike Matei}}<br /><hr>


===Accurate Examples of his Reviews===
==''AVGN'' Nazis==


<center>{{fv|starvids2|background-color: #fcfe7b;|font-weight: bold;
[[Image:Palestinian-vs-tank.jpg|thumb|right|Prisonbreak72020 tries to take on ED.]]
|<youtube>OGGmISKoXbU</youtube>
 
'''AVGN - Resistance: Fall of Man'''
In the warzone that is the YouTube, Video Game Reviewers and their rivals have spawned many 12-year-old jihadists who would otherwise be vandalizing ED, 4chan or other mean people who make fun of their idols.
|<youtube>amsEDQ9FCd4</youtube>
 
'''AVGN - Gears of War'''
* '''Prisonbreak72020''': Vandal and anticipated [[an hero]]. Feel free to leave him a message on his latest ED account user:TheWTFHero, <del>or his new YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONS MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONS]</del> account [[deleted|closed]]. Ironically is also a ''Irate Gamer'' Nazi. Probably not an epic double agent. Thinks he's black, even though the picture of his mug is shown at the top of his own article.
|<youtube>CqJTDbhPW3U</youtube>
 
'''AVGN - The Orange Box'''
* '''greatexpectations320''': Once a minor [[fantard|fanboy]] who evolved into the unholy avatar of the [[lulzkiller]] and [[meme]] smasher. 
|<youtube>39cZaJKTTi8</youtube><BR>
 
'''AVGN - Zelda: Twilight Princess'''|
* '''Chickenhed61''': An ''AVGN'' house [[nigger]] and pedophilic [[furfag]] who enjoys masturbating to videos of kittens and [[13-year-old boys]].
 
Of course dedicating yourself to defend [[13 year old|12-year-old]] YouTube users with unfunny game reviews from these people makes you one with the [[AIDS]].
 
''AVGN'' [[fanboys]] are well-known for their stunning lack of a sense of irony.  Be it the ''[[Irate Gamer]]'', [[Alexander4488]] or whomever, they're quick to call anyone who does video game rants or reviews that are even the faintest bit reminiscent of the ''Nerd's'' videos a "ripoff" or a "plagiarist".  It seems lost on them that the ''Angry Video Game Nerd'' does not hold a patent on this style of review, and himself does trite ''Game Grumps''-style videos, yet no one accuses the ''Nerd'' of the same because only his fans are such epic retards.  If what they were saying was the case, every Let's Play video game reviewer would be a ripoff of the person who created the first video of its kind.
 
==2010: James Rolfe jumps the shit shark while letting slip some diarrhea==
[[File:AVGNWeirdo.gif|200px|thumb|right|]]
Beginning in spring 2010, [[lazy|Rolfe began doing ''AVGN'' videos once per month instead of once every two weeks]] (supposedly to promote his other "nobody-gives-a-shit" series: <s>Boring Lame</s> ''Board James''), and in spite of doubling his per-video production time [[fail|there was no noticeable improvement in quality]]. Judging by his reviews of ''Cheetahmen'' and ''Zelda II: The Adventure of Link'', along with his piece on game glitches, he is fast approaching the ''Irate Gamer's'' trademark variety of [[unfunny|lulzlessness]].  Furthermore, instead of ''AVGN'' videos, [[shit nobody cares about|James Rolfe is incessantly shitting viewers with photo evidence that he visited the filming locations of B-list horror movies.]]
 
As if that weren't enough of a diarrhea dump for his viewers to have to endure, he's been uploading shitty vlogs from E3 and Comic-Con, proving that without a script Rolfe is [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT|near-inarticulate]]. In addition he sporadically uploads video reviews of pre-1990s movies which, conveniently, [[lazy|he has stopped indexing under "Movie Reviews"]], forcing fans to work backwards through ''Cinemassacre'' blog archives just to figure out what he's done over the past few months.
 
Other recent [[sarcasm|highlights]] on Rolfe's website ''Cinemassacre'' indicate that he's going in the same direction as [[Spoony]]: becoming increasingly vlog-centric, inconsistent, and [[USI|self-aggrandizing]] in his overall content. These highlights include:
* A look-back at all the <s>trash</s> concert ticket stubs he's collected, which basically amounted to [[faggot|Rob Zombie]], [[Korn]], [[emo|Rob Zombie]], [[Tool (band)|Tool]], [[13 year old|Rob Zombie]], and other 1990s [[radio|mainstream]] [[emo]] [[fag]]-rock that most people stopped liking as soon as they surpassed the age of 14.
* [[douchebag|Appeals to his international audience to spam the online ballot box in a Philadelphia-based videographer competition, in which he is competing against small, local wedding photography studios.]]
* Indie horror videos in which he [[wut|plays a character based off of James Rolfe]] [[South Park|...poorly]].
* Original videos where he dresses up like a [[13 year old boy]] (Boring Lame... er, ''Board James'') and talks about his favorite board games that he used to play by himself growing up.
* A five part video series where he reads some shitty paperback tie-in book for ''[[Mega Man]] II'' with all the range and emotion of [[The Matrix|Keanu Reeves]].
* Top-ten movie lists of increasingly obscure and smelly subject nature. [[No|Top 10 William Shatner movies, anyone?]]
* His home videos when he was a little boy, that according to him, are part of his "filmography".
* A Christmas [[lie|'review']] that consisted of him [[shit|replacing the words to ''How the Grinch Stole Christmas]]!'', and him making fun of [[Fist of the North Star]]'s name resulted in a significant amount of [[butthurt|dislikes]] from [[V|/v/]]eeaboos. Good job.
 
He has further confirmed his status as an [[Internet celebrity]] on the decline by doing nothing but spewing
[http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/23/top-10-movie-moments-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-the-scene-from-frankenstein-where-the-monster-throws-the-girl-into-the-pond/ random] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/20/weird-comics-from-childhood/ shit] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/17/twin-pines-mall-reenactment-more-photos/ nobody] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/15/charity-drive-prize-giveaway/ except asspies] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/16/enchantment-under-the-sea-reenactment/ cares] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/14/back-to-the-future-timeline/ about] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/13/back-to-the-future-the-musical/ at all] on his blog to keep his [[fantards|fanbois]] generating the page clicks needed to keep the ad revenue [[welfare|money]] rolling in so he and [[fag|Mike Matei]] can spend all their time in the basement together having [[buttsecks]] instead of producing anything that could be possibly be mistaken as creative.
 
[[Last Thursday]], [[baww|a butthurt YouTube "intellect"]], named [[Writing yourself into an article|Asalieri]] ('''who quite obviously wrote this part of the article, hurf durf''') made a [[Shit no one cares about|valid]] video deconstructing one of Rolfe's reviews, as a part of his own series, "Reviewing a Reviewer". In the video he compared James's declining quality with a lesser-known, yet [[erection|up-and-coming]], OCD nerd [[retro|retro game]] reviewer named Roo.  The video was taken down twice (by Mike Matei). Upon this, Asalieri wussed out and called a [[lolwut|truce]] with Matei (because the Internet is such a big SRS FKN BSNS warzone, [[christians|Jesus fucking Christ almighty]]). However, due to [[butthurt|numerous complaints]] from [[Jfreedan|subjects of Asalieri's Reviewing a Reviewer show]] and [[fanboy]]s of said subjects, YouTube [[delete fucking everything|terminated]] his old account.
 
{{clear}}
 
== ''AVGN'': The e-beggar ==
[[File:AVGN Fund Raiser.png|thumb|left|150px|I think I need just a bit moar money. For the cats you see.]]
[[File:AVGN_Fuck_You.jpg|thumb|right|James' face after spending all of the $75,000+ to buy a new house, car and three dildos. Screw the movie!]]
[[File:Avgnmovierant.jpg|thumb|right|A fan has the audacity to question James' movie, which causes a butthurt response from the manchild himself.]]
[[File:OH THE DRAMA.jpg|thumb|left|Mike's reaction to the e-begging saga.]]
After seeing [[Yahtzee]]'s hilarious attempt to cash in from his drooling fans and failing to do so due to [[butthurt|Internet backlash]], James thought to himself ''"Hmm. I'm gonna make a movie about my [[forced meme|iconic]] & not at all tiring ''AVGN'' persona [[2012|very soon]]. But I don't feel like spending cash directly from my own wallet or the thousands I already make from Blip, ''Cinemassacre'', YouTube, GameTrailers and ScrewAttack. Shit fuck, what the hell? I'll ask my shee- err [[fanboys|''AVGN'' fans]] for some quick cash! Sweet cowabunga dogshit I'm a genius!"''
 
[http://www.indiegogo.com/Angry-Video-Game-Nerd-The-Movie Which he did]. And asked for the grand total of $75,000, [[asshole|despite now being part of the JewTube partnership, has already gotten donations from his fanboys before and is backed up financially from both ScrewAttack and SpikeTv.com.]] It goes without saying that James is really squeezing out all that he can gain from his beloved ''AVGN'' [[fantards|sheep]] without any regrets and [[Jew|will keep on doing so until the very last cent]].
 
<center>{{fv|AVGN Movie|background-color: #fcfe7b;|font-weight: bold;
|<center><youtube>JiHhkUX96SM</youtube><br>
'''Oh James, how the mighty have fallen.'''</center>
|<center><youtube>tLY0-Ggld2g</youtube><br>
'''Because signing autographs is [[serious business]].'''</center>
|<center><youtube>aK5uZo6WSSw</youtube><br>
'''Here guys let me sell you all of my junk!'''</center>
}}</center>
}}</center>
{{clear}}
[[File:Avgn weegee.jpg|thumb|left|130px|It's time to pay [[Weegee|your investors]] in full Nerd.]]
It was unsure whether James would [[troll|either collect all the moneyz and make a run for it]] without delivering any form of movie whatsoever or deliver a movie so bad, it would make you want to see the [[Fred]] movie and [[do not want|actually enjoy it]], despite it being [[truth|a messed up e-fame fuelled piece of junk that nobody cared about the second it was released]]. No matter how bad it was, at least [[hack|Fred]] didn't e-beg his fantards in order to make it. Although the ''AVGN'' fanboys surprised the Internet by actually reaching the $75,000 goal in less than ten days '''for a movie that's not even in production yet''', James wasn't satisfied with the results. He wanted even moar than the requested $75,000 in order to have a backup plan [[unrealistic expectations|in case the ''AVGN'' movie is successful enough to have a sequel]]. In the end, he collected over $300,000 with lots of fans bawwing about them not being able to donate anymore, despite James receiving 4x the amount requested. Delicious [[catfight|e-drama]] coming from both [[white knights|''AVGN'' apologists]] and [[you|former Nerd fans]] should fuel the Internet with lulz soon enough.
{{clear}}
The fund raiser didn't officially end at $75,000 because James wanted the ''AVGN'' movie to be a fan funded movie, so then [[Jew|he wouldn't have to pay]] those pesky investors whom would risk their hard earned money by investing in an obscure indie movie project that's got higher chances of flopping than succeeding. He was so happy that he had promised all of his donating fans that they would receive an individual "thank you for the money, is nice" vid for all of their [[money|efforts]]. <s>They still haven't received this special video to this day, but ''AVGN'' fans are [[ghey|very forgiving]]</s>.
Barely a couple of hours later, the ''AVGN's'' crew posted [http://j63.video2.blip.tv/12740009745031/Cinemassacre-ThankYou780.m4v this thank you vid] involving James shitting all over a children's N64 game called ██████████████████. The "review" was so shitty that it made [[Alexander4488]] look like a competent reviewer.
All of the drama in a nutshell:
{{tinyquote|i don’t get it he was supposed to get 75k. now he has a more than 200k yet ppl keep donating. why it’s not like he’s going to put all that money to use. and he still says the donation is going to end in a few days. damn what a jew|A Jewtuber|}}
Those [[you|six people]] who donated for the special movie cameo reward are so fucked.
===''AVGN'' plushies===
[[File:Avgn plushes.png|thumb|center|Plushies for all the fanboys to jerk off to.]]


==Downtime==
With his [[scam|donation drive]] coming to an end, James decided that $325,000 just isn't enough for him, so as a last ditch effort he decides to sell plushies of him and his side-character [[Shit]] Pickle for $18 each, further [[capitalist|capitalizing]] off his success.  It's pretty obvious that his [[idiots|fanboys]] are going to buy these by the hundreds.  What's next, Shit Pickle dildos?
 
Also, [[fanbois|I wonder where he got the money to supply those plushes?]]
 
===''[[Furfag|Cheetahmen]] II''===
 
[[Image:Lol Cheetahmen.png|thumb|right|Again, in before Mike disables likes/dislikes.]]
[[File:Mikecomments.jpg|thumb|right|After deleting multiple comments and blocking fans,  Mike suddenly comes out to say he never approved of the project. And then promptly deleted these comments too. Fucking prick.]]
 
On August 6, 2012 the ''Nerd'' uploads a video advertising some old fuck's [[scam|Kickstarter]] to help patch some shitty NES game called ''Cheetahmen II'' to actually make it beatable and make reproduction cartridges of it, requiring $65,000 in donations.  While the idea was bad enough, the video in question was probably one of the worst things ever produced on James's channel, it being very unfunny, forced, and basically showing how much of an e-beggar James is. One reason why this idea horrible is the fact that there already existed ROM hacks that would patch the game which were released years ago, for free no less.  For donating $60 for God knows what reason, you get your own copy of a patched ''Cheetahmen II'' reproduction cart, whoopee fuckin' do.
 
But in all seriousness, who the fuck cares about ''Cheetahmen II''?  No one wanted to play this game, until all of the sudden ''AVGN'' started liking the game for [[money|whatever reason]], then a lot of the fanboys decided to like it too, many of them actually donating to this worthless cause, it already receiving over $20,000 with just twenty-nine days to go.  However, not all ''AVGN'' fans were fooled, and could quickly see that the Kickstarter as being a scam and are disliking the video and leaving negative comments, like calling James a sellout/e-beggar or calling the whole thing a scam.
 
While the video still has more likes (barely), it has had probably the most dislikes than any video that was ever uploaded on James's channel.  <strike>Strangely, Mike hasn't reacted at all yet.</strike>  As expected, the cowardly Mike at first tried using damage control, until ultimately just disabled comments and ratings.  Because of this huge display of [[butthurt]], many videos were made to fuel this drama, and you know that you've fucked up royally when even the fucking ''Irate Gamer'' is poking fun at you.
 
The ''Cheetahmen II'' video that was censored to hell still has the Kickstarter link in its description, but since there are no dislikes/comments around to show how much of a scam it is, any blind fantard won't see any problem in giving their money away.  And if that isn't bad enough, there are also ''Cheetahmen II'' ads plastered all over the ''Cinemassacre'' homepage, and possibly various other sites as well (a known one being OCRemix). 
 
'''UPDATE:  The Kickstarter has finally come to an end.  Being funded with a grand total of $94,270!'''


[[Image:GameNerd.jpg|thumb|right|Proof that the internet is [[retarded|highly educated]] for making this [[dumbass|genius]] popular.]]
'''And he's asking for more money via PayPal til the end of September!'''


Somewhen beginning of April 2007, because the [[furfag]] [[retards]] TheGameBoys account got all their [[retard|followers]] to mark all his videos as [[Furry|inappropriate]], [[YouTube]] started removing the ANN's videos obviously because he sucks a snails [[ass]] at being lulzworthy and rather ends up lookin' like an extremely annoying ADD-ridden [[13 year old|12 year old]] who can't figure out how to work a fucking joystick.
[[Image:Cheetahmen_2_ads.jpg|thumb|left|So much hype for a game that already sucks.]]


<youtube>pTUtETu09oQ</youtube>
<center>{{frame|{{fv|cheetahfurry|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<center><youtube>u3-_N-iXa4A</youtube></center><center>'''The Kickstarter video in question (comments & ratings disabled)'''</center>
|<center><youtube>mDlNxavr284</youtube></center><center>'''An [[coward|unlisted]] video which is an update on the Kickstarter (still comments & ratings disabled)'''</center>
|<center><youtube>xDlb0EfHn5g</youtube></center><center>'''''Cheetahmen II'' speedrun, there saved you $60'''</center>
|<center><youtube>W7Jy21cs47E</youtube></center><center>'''[[The Archfiend|TheArchfag]] basically earning his few hours of fame by going after ''AVGN'' like everyone else'''</center>
|<center><youtube>KxWW5ORE4cs</youtube></center><center>'''The amount of money actually needed to reproduce fixed ''Cheetahmen II'' cartridges'''</center>
|<center><youtube>_BoXvC6cnMc</youtube></center><center>'''Wow, you know you really fucked up when even [[Irate_Gamer|The Irate Gamer]] is making fun of you.'''</center>
}}|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}}</center>


==Gametrailers==
====Greg Paybitch====
[[Image:Nerd34.jpg|thumb|left|Not even AVGN escapes the [[Rule 34]].]]
The old fart that is running the [[scam|Kickstarter]]. The fact that it is hard to obtain information on him makes him more shady than he already is.  But from the gathered information, Greg Pabich is [[furfag|very obsessed with ''The Cheetahmen'']], and is a very rich man living in a high class house.  He claims that he is famous, yet no one in the world knew who he fucking was until he got [[buttsex|involved with the ''Nerd'']].  And from places like his Facebook and ''The Cheetahmen'' website you can see that he's been planning this whole [[scam|Kickstarter]] for a long time.  [[Unrealistic expectations|One of Greg's goals in life is to make ''Cheetahmen'' the next Angry Birds.]] The website alone contains overpriced ''Cheetahmen'' merchandise, and you may have noticed that the ''Cheetahmen II'' Kickstarter description is in [[ALL CAPS]], but in the comments section he types like he forgot where the caps lock key is. [[Shit nobody cares about|In the Hall of Fame/Shame section of the site they even wrote Mike Magay's name wrong]] (MIKE MATAEI), proving just how much [[Not|they care about their business partners.]]


Because [[Viacom|Viacock]] loves hearing the word "fuck" after [[13_year_old|everything that has a pulse]], their [[sock puppet|puppet-state]] known as [http://www.gametrailers.com/ Gametrailers] decided to exclusively stho his reviews. If they wind up on YouTube, <strike>it's terrible, because then ScrewAttack is losing money that they could spend on pirating AVGN's movies on DailyMotion with their own shitty commentary. It's only stealing if you get caught, amirite?</strike> The Nerd posts his [[old|older]] reviews on his personal account for those who want to relive his [[fail|glory days]].  
Upon further research on Greg, it was found out that he had a [http://caselaw.findlaw.com/tx-court-of-appeals/1000348.html history of fraud] before and that he was sued for over three million dollars for fraud. Unfortunately, he wasn't convicted due to [[bribery|lack of evidence]].


It should be noted that the ANN quit his minimum wage-paying job at [[Burger King|Wendy's]] to devote the rest of his days to ANN. He was quoted by employees as saying, "I'd rather have a buffalo shove a saber laced with shit up my [[ass]] while I'm watching a [[hockey|Buffalo Sabres]] game than work this drive thru!" At which point he was told to STFU and get back to [[fellatio|sucking the manager's dick]] for his [[whore|severance pay]].
SERIOUS UPDATE:  Greg doesn't even own the ''The Cheetahmen'' copyright, he only owns the right to make ''Cheetahmen'' games [[virus|"software"]].  


==War==
====Conclusion====
When it was announced that the old arthritic bitch (Sylvester Stallone) was making a pile of shit epilogue to the ''Rambo'' series, the [[Some argue|AVGN joked]] that the title would possibly be ''John Rambo''. Well, the joke was up his ass when the title was, in fact, ''John Rambo''. Fan [[faggotry|faggotry]] burst like a hymen under a needle and people started lulzing under the [[irony]] (even though at the end of the video, he said that he was just fucking around, making the lulz vanish instantly).
So after all the drama that's been going on, after all those tons of donations way beyond the goal, what is the end result of all this? [[Lulz|An even more broken piece of shit game than it was before]]. See for yourself:


Eventually, the AVGN got tired of people who mindlessly loved him (yeah, right), and in his ''Texas Chainsaw Massacre'' review, he [[almost raped|raeped]] the [[Live_journal|community]] by having his [[furry]] ''[[Guitar Hero]]'' mimic the people. This naturally felt like being penetrated through the ear by Batman, so a portion of the community left his bitch-shackling nature and have taken up the cause of [[ED]]. When fans pointed this out on YouTube, Mike Matei blocked them and deleted their comments out of [[butthurt]]. [[win|And thanks to ED pointing this out, the very same review now requires approval for comments.]]
<center>{{frame|{{fv|cheetahscam|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<center><youtube>9YWbY6fxtlU</youtube></center><center>'''$95,000 well spent.'''</center>
|<center><youtube>iMFCjZ3PdUY</youtube></center><center>'''This dumbass can't even get past the first level and he still says he's proud of owning this piece of shit.'''</center>
|<center><youtube>CqcFlv-ejzU</youtube></center><center>'''An ''AVGN'' ripoff unboxes a copy of this game. He doesn't even play the game but still says it's well worth the price.'''</center>
}}|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}}</center>


==Mike Matei==
==The ''AVGN'' movie==
[[File:Mrs.nerd sjw.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Mrs.Nerd, a retarded SJW cunt.]]
On September 2nd, 2014, the ''AVGN'' movie was finally released for [[losers|all his adoring fans]] to [[torrent|rent on Vimeo]].  It's actually worse than the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiz95K1ngiI trailer] made it out to be.  Most of the special effect scenes are either cheaply done digital effects or [[useless|practical]] effects that look like they came out of a 60s Godzilla movie.  It's about an hour longer than it should have been, and the plot is caustically [[unfunny]] shit. It is a two-hour <s>ego</s> dickstroking exercise where everybody praises James' talent as the ''AVGN''. The greenscreen effects are worse than any YouTube video you'll ever see, so amateur even ''Irate Gamer'' would call them cowapieceofdogshit. The acting is beyond bad and that is from actors who did better in shit like Birdemic. Yes, Birdemic had better acting than this self-fellatio of James Rolfe. The plot was written by ADHD sperg hyped on LSD and sugar, while fapping to ''AVGN'' episodes, and it makes absolutely no sense. The pacing is all over the place. One of the reason why this movie sucks ass is because it has SJW shit. That's right, James' horse face SJW ruined the movie by add an extra [[nigger]] and a [[women|cum-dumpster]]. You might want to ask how does that ruin the movie, when it is already a piece of shit? Well the thing is that everybody on the Internet, not just gamer had it with these [[zoe quinn|SJW shit about racial equality and respect female bullshit]]. But James' wife just had to made it step further by promoting this type of shit, especially when the movie is suppose to be about video game. There is also a scene where the nigger had a wedding with a white wimmin. It is speculated that this was added because of James' fetish for [[cuckoldry]] and watching his wife getting [[great black dick hoax|huge black cocks]] jammed in her orifices.<br />
Of course fanboys are rushing to [[white knight|defend]] this garbage as being intentionally bad, which of course would bite James in the ass, as one could easily say that about the games that he has "reviewed" thereby making him more pointless than he already is. Another defense of theirs is that the movie was intentionally bad, which begs the question what the fuck James spent the remainder of the 300,000 dollars on. Obviously he didn't need that extra cash, if he was just going to make a movie that was as bad as possibly could be. So either James shows his failure as a movie maker or he just chose to piss on the fan and tell them it is raining while he ran away with the money.
{{cg|Worse than Foodfight!|movie|center|<gallery perrow="4">
File:AVGN movie General 4th wall.gif
File:AVGN movie ET Handpuppet.jpg|The German ET porn had a better ET than this
File:AVGN Movie that greenscreen.jpg|Chromakeying?
File:AVGN baloney sandwich.gif|Remember: random = funny
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
File:Doug Walker Realizes That He Is In The AVGN Movie.jpg|[[Doug Walker]] when realizing he is in this crap
File:AVGN great editing.jpg|Yeah, nobody would notice she is missing her fucking hand
File:AVGN movie robot random.gif|Remember: random = funny
File:AVGN Movie That Greenscreen 2.jpg|How do chromakey
File:AVGN Movie Token Nigger and Token Girl kiss.gif|This is the actual editing in the video
</gallery>}}
<br />


[[Image:Nerdse.jpg|thumb|right|Matei's [[goatse|inspiration]].]]


[[Image:NerdMatei.jpg|thumb|left|A good example of Matei's [[fail|awesome]] drawing skills.]]
<center><youtube>oSRgMIdR8QA</youtube></center>
<center>A legit review that got deleted, because it offended too many fantards</center>


[[Image:Mateibunny.jpg|thumb|right|From 2 nerds 1 bunny.]]


As James Rolfe's <s>masochistic right-hand man</s> house nigger, Matei is responsible for [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|cleaning up comments]] on the JamesNintendoNerd YouTube account, drawing [[shit|pretty]] pictures of the Nerd for his videos, yelling at the [[Irate Gamer]] every other week, and [[BDSM|getting the living shit kicked out of him]] every time the AVGN does another video. So far he's had the shit kicked out of him as Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Bugs Bunny twice (simultaneously satisfying the AVGN's massive furry fetish), Michael Myers, and [[Why So Serious?|The Joker]].
''The following reviews were not selected. These were the most popular on IMDb.''
{{cg|The reviews are in|reviewsimdb|center|<gallery perrow="4">
File:AVGN movie review 1.jpg|'''2/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 2.jpg|'''3/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 3.jpg|'''3/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 4.jpg|'''3/10'''
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
File:AVGN movie review 5.jpg|'''2/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 6.jpg|'''3/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 7.jpg|'''1/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 8.jpg|'''1/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 9.jpg|'''1/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 10.jpg|'''1/10'''
File:AVGN movie review 11.jpg|'''3/10'''
</gallery>}}


However, it is believed that Matei is biding his time and waiting for <s>the Emperor</s> the Nerd to [[Surprise_buttsecks|let his guard down]] so he may usurp him and rape him to death and  take over his game reviewing empire. It is also believed Matei secretly keeps [[rule 34]] versions of his images with he and the Nerd in various [[buttsecks|awkward situations]].{{clear}}
==''AVGN'': The game==
To highlight the fact that [[Steam]] users are absolute idiots, they have green-lit [http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=136246834 ''Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures'']. A game where you play as the ''Nerd'', while shooting, and oddly enough not shitting on, enemies, in the best [[lazy|retro]] style, complete with 8-bit graphics [[Irate_Gamer|ripped off]] from famous NES games. <br />


==AVGN Ripoffs==
==Kicking the SJW nest: the [[Fembusters]] not-review==


<center><youtube>xrQiFCflYqQ</youtube></center>
In May of 2016, the AVGN released what is considered by [[some argue|some]], one of his most controversial "reviews". In it, he decided to not to watch the [[Fembusters|failed reboot of Ghostbusters]], as he established that the movie is [[fact|a disservice to the fans and the creators and actors of the original movie]]. Without using his "angry nerd" persona, Rolfe explains [[Verbose|calmly and with a great detail]] why the [[Paul Feig]]'s reboot does not deserve his attention, nor his money.


Just when things couldn't get any worse on [[teh]] tubes, The Angry Nintendo Nerd decided to [[raep]] the [[internets]] one fine July afternoon [[Last Thursday|exactly three months]] after [[An hero day]] [[IDIFTL|(For the lulz?)]]. The result of this [[raep]] was the first ever bastard child of the [[internets]], rightly dubbed as "ANN ripoff #1". When this bastard child was able to grow a [[penis]] several weeks later, he then preceded to [[rape]] the [[internets]] in a fashion that would make a samurai become [[an hero]].


As the [[internets]] got [[AIDS]] by all of the raping of it by [[YouTube]], the ANN ripoffs then decided to have incest and [[fuck]] each other to express their sexual lust for the bad games that they "review". Hence, the ANN ripoff population has grown to a level that's [[over 9,000]].
<center><youtube>hz8X2A7wHyQ</youtube></center>
<center>'''See how this dudebro manbaby is alienating wymyn from succeeding in films'''</center>


This devious process has gone unchecked by [[YouTube]], as the [[whore|admins]] are too busy [[fap|stroking]] it to all those [[16_year_old|underage girls]] making out on [[camwhore|webcams]]... that, or they're all from [[Australia|West Virginia]].
Despite giving a straightforward and easy to understand explanation (for anybody with two braincells to rub together), in the eyes of the gullible retards, cuckolds and easily offended [[Social Justice Warriors]] and [[nu-male|Nu-males]], he committed the sin of criticizing a movie that according to [[Jezebel]] is a "[[HA HA HA, OH WOW|Is A Punch in the Dick to All of Mankind]]" and so, he is egregiously punching down women and oppressing them with his [[mansplain]]ing to the point of [[Almost Rape|almost raping]] them. Soon the [[Clickbait]] harpies opportunistically appeared and started to shriek in which is clearly an example that they lack comprehension skills and hear what only they want to hear just to appear [[socialist|progressive]] and feminist in front of [[trigglypuff|their]] [[AIDS Skrillex and Carl the Cuck|acquaintances]].  


The AVGN Ripoffs have pissed off the [[internets]]. All hell has broken loose as the merchant from ''[[Resident Evil 4]]'''s power level goes [[over 9,000]] and takes his [[flounce|anger]] out on an 80s CD player:
Unsurprisingly the aforesaid clickbait "journalists" were [[hypocrite|suspiciously]] silent when [[Nigger|Andre "Black Nerd" Meadows]], [[Angry Joe|Joe "deme dos pesos ese" Vargas]] and [[Azn|Alachia Queen]] raised similar points about the movie but get away with it because they are not part of the evil white male race.


===[[Irate Gamer|The Irate Gamer]]===
{{Main|Irate Gamer}}


Tries to buttrape the ANN concept with his NES he got 2 days ago, and by being [[fat|overweight]] (FUCKING FATTY).
<center>'''Even horny [[rapefugees|refugees]] from Syria have more moderation'''</center>


===[[Alexander4488]]===
<center>{{Photoframe|fv|border: 1px black; padding: 10px;|font-weight: bold;
[[Image:Alex4488lol.jpg|thumb|right|Alexander4488: The long lost son of [[Cockmongler]]]]
|[[File:AVGN Overflowing misogyny.png|center|500px]]{{center|because valid criticisms is like enslaving women}}
A [[Plagiarism|"nerd-spired"]] [[leech|game reviewer]] who is less known for his [[Pathetic|appallingly bad]] game reviews and more known for his [[Autofellatio|self-fellating]] [[Shameless self-promotion|advertisements on every gaming website known to man]]. Like another egotistical game reviewers, he goes to film school and [[unwarranted self-importance|fancies himself as the second-coming of the AVGN on YouTube]].
|[[File:AVGN Ban men.jpg|center|500px]]{{center|Why do you people think we progressives [[fact|are violent]]?}}
|[[File:AVGN is a MRA.jpg|center|500px]]{{center|James Rolfe, leader of the Men Rights Movement}}
|[[File:AVGN Backstabbed by CA.png|center|350px]]{{center|They seem to forgot that thanks to AVGN unfunny videos, they can beg money on Patreon instead of having a real job}}
|[[File:AVGN - Devin Faraci Trying too hard.png|center|550px]]{{center|[[antilulz|Screen Junkies']] Devin Faraci trying to impress fellow [[nu-male|nu-males]]}}
|[[File:AVGN - SJW Hypocrites.jpg|center|500px]]{{center|Says the immature people who demands that Cartoon Network makes lesbian cartoons}}
|[[File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-pattonOswalt01.jpg|center|550px]]{{center|Why SJW cannot be comedians, even if they claim to be one}}
|[[File:AVGN - Assorted Twitter Butthurt 01.png|center|350px]]{{center|SJW showing signs of mental retardation and fondness of [[Male tears]] on twitter}}
|[[File:AVGN - Assorted Twitter Butthurt 02.png|center|350px]]{{center|'''YOU'RE A FUCKING WHITE MALE!!!1'''}}
|[[File:AVGN - Assorted Twitter Butthurt 03.png|center|350px]]{{center|Look everybody! I don't hate women! See? I'm soooo progressive guise!}}
}}</center>


His blatant egotism came to head as a group named [[Let's Play with YouTube|FilmsForFustilarians]] [[MST3K|riffed]] on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysqPqiF71Mo one of his videos]. Being absolutely [[batshit insane]], he came to his own defense in a barrage of video comments [http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=ysqPqiF71Mo&fromurl=/watch%3Fv%3DysqPqiF71Mo where they actually outnumber the number of views the video has]. Safe to say, his sheer butthurt generated great lulz for those who witnessed it.
Several clickbait sites reported about this non-issue like {{archive|R5jmI|the Daily Dot}},  {{kym|memes/events/avgn-s-no-reviews-i-refuse-controversy|Know your Meme}}, {{archive|yJOLV|the Daily Beast}}, {{archive|QF705|the Atlantic}} {{archive|bF76N|and}} {{archive|tRWAj|others}} showing that was a slow day in news and the clickbait bubble is about to burst. Nonetheless this moment of clarity of Rolfe can be temporal, as his wife probably will make him to apologize to the women of the world under the threat of refusing to have pity sex with him anymore. Hitherto, the [[internet hate machine]] is having a good day while it is mining the salt of [[Fembusters]] fans.


On cue, Alexander has [[User:Gamedude8888|made]] [[User:Alexander448|multiple]] [[User:Mysterydude|accounts]] on ED after this stub was written in an effort to [[lol wut|defend his actions]].


===Furious Famicom Faggot===
{{cg|Fembusters fags BTFO|Nealid|center|<gallery perrow="4">
File:AVGN - Das Raciss.png|Sheit nigga u raciss
File:AVGN - Kuchera Metokur.png|[[Ben Kuchera]] being reminded how a whiny faggot he is by the internet aristocrat
File:AVGN - Nostalgia Chick abortion.png|hating things without seeing them first
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-n00bs0fl337.png|he don't kill babies
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-pattonOswaltJohnBowman.jpg|
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-chicagoJoe.png|Trying to be relevant Patton? Your wife is dead!
File:AVGN - Patton Oswalt dead wife 02.png|Patton's wife cameo in Fembusters
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-aJoseph.png|More Dead Wife Jokes
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-adamMurray.jpg|Yes because having a $20 budget can make the same quality movie as having a $20 million budget
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-daneCook1.jpg|Dane Cook attempts to prove that he's still relevant
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-daneCook2.png|That'll show that Nerd!
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-erichDSnider.png|Because he's a more mature adult
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-gavinBard.png|[[Nu-male|The Cuck King]]
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-juliaVickerman.jpg|I don't think Julia realizes who "James Rolfe" is
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-kris.png|SJWs proving once again that they're the GOOD GUYS, who are on the right side of history!
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-kyle.png|See now, at this point people are just hopping on the bandwagon here: "my friends hate this guy, so I guess I should hate him too!"
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-matthewBuck.png|> it's my job to review it<br> > but I won't review it
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-DevinFaraci.png|Ah yes, Devin Faraci, on the top of popular opinion again
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-timHeidecker.png|
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-yourmoviesucksDOTorg.png|YourMovieSucks.org lays down the law
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-totalBiscuit.png|
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-pattonOswaltJoshBarnett.png|
File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-pattonOswalt03.jpg|Patton Oswalt relents once he realizes he dun goofed
</gallery>
}}


[[Image:XmasNerd.jpg|thumb|right|BRB, not being funny.]]
And how much did the clickbait, feminist shit sites affect James' video? Not a lot, really.
<center>[[File:AVGN Ratings Ghostbusters Non-Review.jpg]]<br />
'''All those articles and complaining for [[shit nobody cares about|this]]?'''</center><br />


<center>[[File:KukuruyoAVGNFembusters.jpg|450px]]<br />
'''A comic version by {{dauser|KukuruyoArt}} explains the entire bullshit [[in a nutshell]].'''</center><br />


<center>[[File:Fembusters-AVGNsec-art.jpg|450px]]<br />
'''In Conclusion'''</center><br />


[[Something Awful]] has been [[unfunny|lulzless]] for quite a while (despite the claims of the Goons that the site is lulzier than ever...fucking liars, they are!). Despite this, they had their hands on a gold mine of [[lulz]] and [[drama]] that was yearning to be untapped.
==Screenwave==
Around the mid '10s following the absolute [[Fail|failure]] that was the Angry Video Game Nerd Movie and James Rolfe's bitch wife demanding he look after their two daughters after 5:40 PM every evening while she attends a wine class and gets blacked by Jerome and his home boys, Jimmy boy decided to outsource 90% of his creative output to a company with a focus on phasing electrons through the reality of the Youtube algorithm called ''Screenwave''.  


The Furious Famicom [[Faggot]], created by [[Shmorky]], was to be a parody that would [[pwn]] the Angry Nintendo Nerd and all of those retreads that he inspired. Unfortunately, SA fucked it up ([[typical|as usual]]) and FFF became nothing more than another epic [[fail]] and a [[lulz]] flop that could have been so much moar had SA not been involved. This is in part because the FFF was created as a parody on both the Angry Video Game Nerd and a lesser known [[fail]] called ''[http://www.gamelifeshow.com/ Gamelife]''. The other part being that Shmorky [[facepalm|consistently]] draws his [[Dane Cook|"comedy"]] from the black holes of unfunny that are his own damaged brain and [[Lowtax]]. As an [[Anonymous|unnamed]] lulzosopher put it, "FFF is like the carrot cake of video game reviewers; it is decent when first eaten, but [[Goatse|quickly becomes sickening]] and made of all things [[fail]]."  
With Rolfe obviously not being the same angry basement dweller he was a decade ago, this would have been fine had ''Screenwave'' not helped accelerate the downward spiral of the ''Cinemassacre'' Youtube channel and enabled James Rolfe's problems with having "no time" to do jack fucking shit!


Fortunately, the [[internets]] saved itself from certain [[raep]]ing by giving FFF the [[AIDS]] and [[fail]] before it became too lulzless [[asking for it|for its own good]]. We can only drink to the lost potential of [[lulz]] and [[win]]...
Fans began noticing how much their beloved autistic hero began phoning in his performance even more than usual in newer AVGN episodes and when questioning it (or why James unemployable [[Autism|manchild]] buddy Mike "10 inch" Matei thought it clever to post pictures of his monster cock online), (or the unexplained disappeareances of fan favorites Bootsy and Guitar Guy) over on the ''Cinemassacre'' subreddit, were swiftly banned by a [[Mod|retarded faggot]] who went by the handle of "BTNMasherDraco" leading to the creation of [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheCinemassacreTruth/ The Cinemassacre Truth] subreddit in response which as of August 2021 has surpassed 11,000 jaded fanboys and counting!


A few weeks after the [[fail]] that was the Furious Famicom Faggot, Ebeeto emerged from the shadows as another parody of the [[YouTube]] video game reviewing movement, however, he is moar of a parody of that [[Unfunny|lulzless]] fuck UrinatingTree, instead of the AVGN.
Soon, the fat bastards employed by Screenwave began making their disgusting appearances known to long time ''Cinemassacre'' fanboys by way of "Rental Reviews", James Rolfe's low energy idea for a show talking about old crappy movies that nobody wanted to rent during the days of Blockbuster.  


=== [[LeisureSuitGaming|LeisureSuitGaming / Silent Rob / CopperCab's adopted son]] ===
Their distinct lack of chemistry with Rolfe showed and in turn, "Rental Reviews" was mercifully cancelled after a hundred episodes only ''CinemassacreTruth'' redditors watched for the lulz.  
[[File:SilentWank.gif|thumb|250px|Right|Silent Rob]]
AKA The Ginger Whinger, Silent Rob is a [[hardcore]] [[ITG|internets tough guy]] who is more known nowadays for his [[BAWWW|whiny emo diatribes]] than his [[fuck|"fuck"-fests]] in disguise as video game reviews. He got his start as an [[unfunny|extremely overrated]] game "reviewer" best known for his Action 52 review, which was, shockingly, worse than the game was in all aspects. But after sucking Damien Estreich's cock enough to merit [[The Kewl Kids|YouTube Partnership and the featuring of his videos on the main page]], Mr. Estrech refused to give it to him, deeming his [[shit|work]] [[truth|unoriginal]].  


This is when Silent Rob [[butthurt|busted down the floodgates]] and spent ten minutes bitching about the [[Irate Gamer]], in which his arguments, for every small truth they may have had, were cockblocked by at least fifteen references to IG "[[blowjob|loving the cock]]" per truth. His [[fanboy|fanbase]], being as intelligent as [[lemmings]], followed his orders and started hating the reviewer, spawning a great, yet pathetic, amount of [[lulz|proxy lulz]] that still lingers to this day.
Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the end of Screenwave's involvement with ''Cinemassacre'' and before long, they helped birth James Rolfe's even more lazy and half assed idea for new content with the advent of "Rex Viper", Rolfe's mid-life crisis band singing shitty cover songs that would make even the likes of [[Chris-Chan|Christian and the Hedgehog Boys]] jealous with virgin rage!


Rob has still not gotten over the butthurt of not becoming a YouTube Partner. Seeing the likes of the [[AVGN]], [[That Guy With The Glasses]], and [[Yahtzee]] [[Internet poor|making money hands over fists]], he has since gotten into [[internet panhandling]] by [[Geocities|creating his own website]] devoted to his poorly-made, unfunny [[abortion|abortions]] that he calls videos.  
Meanwhile, AVGN continued to decline with game selections that made it painfully clear to everyone except what few shit encrusted boot licking fanboys he has left that Rolfe's passion for calling games AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and a WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK is no longer burning with the intensity of a diabetic fat fuck's heart seconds before he keels over in the Little Debbies snack cake aisle at his local Wal-Mart.


But [[Snape kills Dumbledore|this story has a twist]]: [[facepalm|He charges people $5 just to visit it]]. He has rightfully suffered backlash from his [[13-year-old|loyal followers]], finally seeing how shitty his work really is. The ensuing lulz that has resulted from Silent Rob's butthurt and subsequent bawwwing about the website can be best described as [http://www.slutload.com/watch/qhd0qSMDcWG/Game-reviewer-jerking-off.html# the funniest thing that man has ever done.]
===The Three Stooges===


===[[PissedOffVideoGamer]]===
*'''Justin Silverman''': A morbidly obese offspring of Jabba the Hutt who's biggest claim to fame prior to making James Rolfe look good by direct comparison is being a cringy edgelord faggot namely making a complete ass of himself after being invited to be on an episode of the late [[TotalBiscuit|TotalBiscuit]] podcast. Silverman is also known for his perverse lust of Gengar from [[Pokemon|Pokemon]] having an entire room dedicated to the altar of his Ghost-Type husbando whom he will one day marry making him the second person in history after [[JustinRPG|JustinRPG]] to help push beastiality as a valid form of legal marriage for furries and zoophiles the world over!


<youtube>ZKgSF0BNFrU</youtube>
*'''Kieran''': A long haired greasy looking biker dude wannabe with a penchant for being an [[Internet Tough Guy|Internet Tough Guy]] often descending upon the Cinemassacre Truth subreddit with a delusional fury that would make Amy and Samy Bouzaglo from [[Amy's Baking Company|that one episode]] of ''Kitchen Nightmares'' blush. However, it seems his mommy told him to stop sperging out for as of late, Kieran's surprisingly backed off from his autistic tard raging at a subreddit that grows in proportion to every one of his giant caveman meltdowns and even has lost some weight to boot though time will tell if he ever stops wearing that same denim jacket that has all but fused to his torso!


This horrid blob monster is trying to be the Angry Nintendo Nerd, but the difference is that this fat fuck is WAAAAAYYY moar fuckin' funnier in a completely different way. Just look at him, seriously, the video explains it all.
*'''TonyFromHackTheMovies''': What? You don't know who TonyFromHackTheMovies is? Why, he's a guy named Tony from the "Hack The Movies" Youtube channel, only the most prestigious of movie related Youtube channels at a whopping 39,000 subscribers whom even James Rolfe, a self proclaimed curator of film, bows down to because nobody err..."hacks the movies" like TonyFromHackTheMovies does! [[Banned|No longer seemingly associated with Cinemassacre and Screenwave as of 2021!]]


==The Mischief Makers Incident==
===James Rolfe Finally Reveals His Power Level===
In one AVGN video he is seen giving his angry look at a ''Mischief Makers'' cartridge. This caused rage on /v/ as they thought he had or was going to make a review video for ''Mischief Makers''. It turned out that it was just filler footage for an intro and /v/ trolled themselves into thinking otherwise as the AVGN has not stated that he intends to review the game.


==Suspension==
Despite James Rolfe being known for playing a loser adult manchild with serious anger management problems and a putrid scat fetish, Rolfe for the longest time somehow managed to come across as a fairly meek and milquetoast person outside of playing the Nerd.
[[Last_thursday|Last week]] YouTube suspended the AVGN account. No reason was given, but lots of lulz and BAWWing were seen among the AVGN fanboys. This later turned out to be the result of Game Trailers' own incompetence. [[Epic Fail|Apparently, Game Trailers was too stupid to figure out that the one posting the Angry Video Game Nerd videos was, in fact the AVGN himself and made copyright complaints.]]


==AVGN Nazis==
That all changed on August 6th, 2021 when the Cinemassacre Youtube channel uploaded a tell-all ''Behind the Scenes'' video exposing many long time CinemassacreTruth redditors suspicions about the declining state of the channel.


[[Image:Palestinian-vs-tank.jpg|thumb|right|Prisonbreak72020 tries to take on ED.]]
<center><youtube>hbX7W0bO2bc</youtube></center>


In the warzone that is the YouTube, Video Game Reviewers and their rivals have spawned many 12 year old jihadists who would otherwise be vandalizing ED, 4chan or other mean people who make fun of their idols.
To summarize:


* '''Prisonbreak72020''': Vandal and anticipated [[an hero]]. Feel free to leave him a message on his latest ED account [[user:TheWTFHero]], <del>or his new YouTube account [http://www.youtube.com/MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONS MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONS]</del> account [[deleted|closed]]. Ironically is also a [[Irate Gamer]] Nazi. Probably not an epic double agent. Thinks he's black, even though the picture of his mug is shown at the top of his own article.
* James Rolfe revealed the Nerd Room has been reduced to a small incredibly cramped set explaining the same static shot of the Nerd in recent episodes


* '''greatexpectations320''': Once a minor [[fantard|fanboy]] who evolved into the unholy avatar of the [[lulzkiller]] and [[meme]] smasher. 
* James Rolfe also revealed he "has no time" not so much because he's [[Cuck|pussy whipped]], but because his clueless boomer ass is running tech support even having a convoluted tech set up that would make ''LinusTechTips'' freak out. He even leaves things such as putting an onion in his mouth while tied up in his [[Shrek|Shrek]] AVGN episode to himself because god forbid he makes any of the fatties from Screenwave do anything besides make runs to the refridgerator


* '''Chickenhed61''': An AVGN house black person and pedophilic [[furfag]] who enjoys masturbating to videos of kittens and [[13-year old boys]].
* Finally, in the last few minutes of the ''Behind the Scenes'' video, James Rolfe not so subtly attacked his clueless fanbase specifically the CinemassacreTruth subredditors for ''daring'' to criticize him let alone Screenwave referring to such criticisms of being of the "assholish variety".  


Of course dedicating yourself to defend [[13 year old|12 year old]] YouTube users with unfunny game reviews from these people makes you one with the [[AIDS]].
Bravo James Rolfe, you finally broke your candid Mr. Rogers persona to reveal just how much of an ungrateful shit of the assholish variety you actually are you stupid special needs fucktard! Enjoy having to get a real job when your channel inevitably crashes soon!


==[[A challenger appears]]==
===Angry Video Game Nerd: A Movie Making Nerd===
As of recently, a movie reviewer by the name of the [[That Guy With The Glasses|Nostalgic Critic]] challenged the [[Transvestite| tyranny]] of the [[Wikipedia| Angry Video Game Nerd on the internet]]. The war was started by the Nerd's Nazis in an attempt [[Leave Bond to me|to take out the competition]] by saying that the Nostalgic Critic was an AVGN-ripoff. This is far from the truth, for the [[lie|Nostalgic Critic is funny]]. [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/161-angry-video-game-nerd-rant NC decided] to fight-back, only to [[Nerd Rage|piss off the AVGN]]. [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/162-angry-video-game-nerd-rant-part-2 The AVGN then gave the NC a threat] disguised as a compliment. [[South Ossetia|Thus a war began.]] As soon as the war began, the [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/386-avgn-response-response AVGN stole one of the NC's reviews]. So far, the NC is winning thanks to a [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/529-the-battle-of-epic-proportions fist-fight] and [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/994-video-game-review reviewing] a [[Zerg Rush|bad game.]] Few know how long the Nostalgic Critic can hold out against the AVGN Nazis.
<center><youtube>2WKWcBeAkHc</youtube></center>
If you thought the behind the scenes video was bad enough, James outdoes himself yet again by releasing an autobiography on November 18th 2022. This 312 page (yes, really) book is not only riddled with tidbits of autism, but bad formatting that looks like it was done by a first grader. Some of the gems include:


UPDATE: To try and calm the rabid [[nazis|fanboys]]: [http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/8124-cntmnt both have recently appeared in a Collaboration Video together.]


==2010: James Rolfe Jumps The Shit Shark While Letting Slip Some Diarrhea==
* A "forward" done by his wife (who is speculated to also be his editor, which even for an art teacher, is embarassing that she thought this book was ok for public release)
Beginning in spring 2010, [[lazy|Rolfe began doing AVGN videos once per month instead of once every two weeks]] (supposedly to promote his other "nobody-gives-a-shit" series: <s>Boring Lame</s> Board James), and in spite of doubling his per-video production time [[fail|there was no noticeable improvement in quality]]. Judging by [[shit|his reviews of Cheetahmen and Zelda II, along with his piece on game glitches]], he is fast approaching the [[Irate Gamer]]'s trademark variety of [[unfunny|lulzlessness]].  And instead of AVGN videos, [[shit nobody cares about|James Rolfe is incessantly shitting viewers with photo evidence that he visited the filming locations of B-list horror movies.]]
* Went to a special-ed school
* Constantly tries to get out of situations by pissing and cutting himself, even attempted suicide at one point
* Didn't know what alcohol was until he was 21
* Made a left turn on red, driving into oncoming traffic and almost killing him and the girl he was driving home
* Stood next to the entrance of a computer lab for 8 hours straight so he could work on his "movies"


As if that weren't enough of a diarrhea dump for his viewers to have to endure, he's been uploading shitty vlogs from E3 and Comic-Con, proving that without a script Rolfe is [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT|near-inarticulate]]. In addition he sporadically uploads video reviews of pre-1990s movies which, conveniently, [[lazy|he has stopped indexing under "Movie Reviews"]], forcing fans to work backwards through <s>Shittymassacre</s> Cinemassacre blog archives just to figure out what he's done over the past few months.


Other recent [[sarcasm|highlights]] on Rolfe's website Cinemassacre indicate that he's going in the same direction as [[Spoony]]: becoming increasingly vlog-centric, inconsistent, and [[USI|self-aggrandizing]] in his overall content. These highlights include:
Otherwise it's a behind-the-scenes of the AVGN movie, which is something he's actually proud of even though his movie makes the TGWTG movies look superior in comparison (that's not a compliment by the way). In fact majority of the book is filled with nepotism and is an ego trip of a man who thinks he's done no wrong and gets mad at everyone telling him otherwise, which proves that he's lived in a bubble for most of his life.
* A look-back at all the <s>trash</s> concert ticket stubs he's collected, which basically amounted to [[faggot|Rob Zombie]], [[Korn]], [[emo|Rob Zombie]], [[Tool (band)|Tool]], [[13 year old|Rob Zombie]], and other 1990s [[radio|mainstream]] [[emo]] [[fag]]-rock that most people stopped liking as soon as they surpassed the age of 14.
* [[douchebag|Appeals to his international audience to spam the online ballot box in a Philadelphia-based videographer competition, in which he is competing against small, local wedding photography studios.]]
* Indie horror videos in which he [[wut|plays a character based off of James Rolfe]] [[South Park|...poorly]].
* Original videos where he dresses up like a [[13 year old boy]] (Boring Lame... er, Board James) and talks about his favorite board games that he used to play by himself growing up.
* A five part video series where he reads some shitty paperback tie-in book for ''[[Mega Man]] II'' with all the range and emotion of [[The Matrix|Keanu Reeves]].
* Top-ten movie lists of increasingly obscure and smelly subject nature. [[No|Top 10 William Shatner movies, anyone?]]
* His home videos when he was a little boy, that according to him, are part of his "filmography".
* A Christmas [[lie|'review']] that consisted of him [[shit|replacing the words to How the Grinch Stole Christmas]] and [[lazy|<i>nothing else</i>]]


===Update===
{{cg|Excerpts From The Book|AVGN|center|<gallery perrow="4">
Since [[last Tuesday]], he has further confirmed his status as an [[Internet celebrity]] on the decline by doing nothing but spewing
File:AVGN book 1.jpg|Autism Confirmed 01
[http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/23/top-10-movie-moments-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-the-scene-from-frankenstein-where-the-monster-throws-the-girl-into-the-pond/ random] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/20/weird-comics-from-childhood/ shit] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/17/twin-pines-mall-reenactment-more-photos/ nobody] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/15/charity-drive-prize-giveaway/ except asspies] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/16/enchantment-under-the-sea-reenactment/ cares] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/14/back-to-the-future-timeline/ about] [http://www.cinemassacre.com/2010/11/13/back-to-the-future-the-musical/ at all] on his blog to keep his [[fantards|fanbois]] generating the page clicks needed to keep the ad revenue [[welfare|money]] rolling in so he and [[fag|Matt Matei]] can spend all their time in the basement together having [[buttsecks]] instead of producing anything that could be possibly be mistaken as creative.
File:avgn book 2.jpg|Autism Confirmed 02
File:AVGN 8.jpg|"but was I'm a Skeleton" - One of MANY formatting issues
File:avgn 5.png|Movie Location Issues
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4">
File:avgnbook04.jpg|Moving Day
File:avgnbook05.jpg|He Went Home to Be A Family Man
File:avgnbook07.png|James "Diarrhea Dumps" Filmmaking
File:AVGNBook03.png|The Dragon In The Park
File:avgnbook09.png|James doesn't understand how licensing works
File:avgnbook11.jpg|Apparently the movie has a "deep" message
File:avgnbook12.png|Odd Jobs before making AVGN a full time gig
File:avgnbook14.png|James doesn't understand the difference between video and film
File:AVGNbook13.png|When Fans Get Rowdy
File:avgnbooksuicide1.jpg|Suicide Attempt Part 1
File:avgnbooksuicide2.jpg|Suicide Attempt Part 2
File:avgnbook8hourstand.png|Standing in the hall for 8 hours
File:avgnbookcar.png|Mr. Bim's Wild Ride
File:avgnbookwindow.png|"That time I broke a window at school"
</gallery>}}


Recently, [[baww|a butthurt YouTube "intellect"]], named [[baleeted|Asalieri]] ('''Who quite obviously wrote this part of the article, hurf durf'''), made a [[Shit no one cares about|valid]] video deconstructing one of Rolfe's reviews, as a part of his own series, "Reviewing a Reviewer. In the video he compared James's declining quality with a lesser-known, yet [[erection|up-and-coming]], OCD nerd [[retro|retro game]] reviewer, named RooThe video was taken down twice (by Mike Mattei). Upon this, Asalieri wussed out and called a [[lolwut|truce]] with Mattei (because the Internet is such a big SRS FKN BSNS warzone, [[christians|Jesus fucking Christ almighty]]).  
==Random ''AVGN'' hate videos==
Since there's quite a trend of ''AVGN'' hate going on as of late, of course there are going to be plenty of videos speaking out the truth against James and Mike's charades, just to get their fifteen seconds of [[fame|infamy]].  The following contains such videos, as well as some of those following the [[Irate_Gamer|Bores]] defense trendExpect plenty of ''AVGN'' fanboy butthurt in the comments of these videos.
<center>{{frame|{{fv|AVGNRantsAndTruth|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<center><youtube>loSzsJLXIJY</youtube></center><center>'''Coming from a [[Canadia|Canadian]] called [[Wrestling|"WrestlingJesus"]].'''</center>
|<center><youtube>3qWY8oc6hqg</youtube></center><center>'''....'''</center>
|<center><youtube>QyUP9xtRZlc</youtube></center><center>'''Sums up AVGN's fanboys'''</center>
|<center><youtube>Wi5CsnHoJ1s</youtube></center><center>'''Brad jokes tries to make fun of the AVGN but fails because he is even more unfunny.'''</center>
|<center><youtube>Y2_FGZaCuxI</youtube></center><center>'''Another channel Bores plugged, even though he's made hateful videos of him in the past.'''</center>
|<center><youtube>juP_-xPFT1Y</youtube></center><center>'''Makes you wonder who he was describing near the end of the video.'''</center>
}}|border=#FFFFFF|background=#FFFFFF}}</center>


However, due to numerous complaints from subjects of Asalieri's Reviewing a Reviewer show and [[fanboy|fanboys]] of said subjects, [[YouTube]] [[delete fucking everything|terminated]] his account.
==Angry Video Game (you are not the) Father==
[[File:AVGN james rolfe cuckold.jpg|thumb|right|James Rolfe, his wife April, their new baby and her potential daddies on their way to [[Maury Povich]].]]
A couple of weeks before the announcement on May 12th, 2013, James Rolfe became something that no [[Irate Gamer|actual video game nerd]] has any hope to becoming, a father. From the [http://cinemassacre.com/2013/05/12/little-nerd/ blog post] {{archive|WMQQM}}, there appears to have been [[autism|complications]] during the pregnancy: The child ended up coming out black, confirming the [[cuck]] was cuckolded by his wife April Chmura Rolfe and [[Tyrone]].


<youtube>W5WAjXypPgQ</youtube>
==A special message from [[Irate Gamer|Chris Bores]]==
[[File:BoresAVGNcomeback.jpg|center]]


<youtube>O3kTFVJdt4k</youtube>
==Gallery==
{{cg|Gallery|AVGN|center|<gallery>
Image:AVGN logo.jpg
Image:AVGN shout1.gif
Image:AVGN shout2.gif
Image:MarinavsJames.jpeg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Angry nerd.jpg
File:Nerd bunny fight.png
File:Kyle avgn battletoads.png
File:Nerdpuked.gif
File:James Rolfe Cuck.jpg
File:Angry Nintendo Nerd.jpg
File:AVGN looking at cuckold porn.jpg
File:Nerd34.jpg
File:Avgn face.png
File:AVGNstunned.png
File:Nerdmongler.jpg
File:FUCK WHY.jpg
File:AVGN - Patton Oswalt dead wife 01.jpg
File:AVGN FR- Update.png
</gallery>
}}


==See Also==
== See also ==
*[[Alexander4488]] - The biggest disgrace to dudes and game reviewers.
*[[Angry Internet Guy]]
*[[False flaggot]]
*''[[Game Grumps]]''
*[[Internet DVD]]
*''[[Irate Gamer]]''
*[[MonkeyGameGuides]]
*[[PissedOffVideoGamer]]
*[[ScrewAttack]]
*[[ScrewAttack]]
*[[Spax3]]
*''[[That Guy With The Glasses]]''
*[[v/|/v/]]
*[[Video game reviewers]]
*[[Video game reviewers]]
*[[X-Play]]
*[[X-Play]]
*[[Irate gamer]]
*[[Alexander4488]]
*[[PissedOffVideoGamer]]
*[[v/|/v/]]
*[[Spax3]]
*[[Angry Internet Guy]]
*[[Internet DVD]]
*[[That Guy With The Glasses]]


==External Links==
==External links==


*{{youtube2|irategamer|His YouTube page}}
*{{yt|u|Cinemassacre|His YouTube page}}
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4we8iFk-fY A video of him reviewing ''Simon's Shitty Quest'']
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4we8iFk-fY A video of him reviewing ''Simon's Shitty Quest'']
*[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/index.php His website]
*[http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/index.php His website]
*[http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=4191 The Furious Famicom Faggot]
*[http://www.somethingawful.com/flash-tub/furious-famicom-faggot/ The Furious Famicom Faggot]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0WmFS0S-Ww Ebeeto]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0WmFS0S-Ww Ebeeto]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1raUvGNbZFg An example of retardation at its best]
*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1raUvGNbZFg An example of retardation]
*[http://cinemassacre.com/2010/11/23/top-10-movie-moments-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-the-scene-from-frankenstein-where-the-monster-throws-the-girl-into-the-pond/ THE MOST FUCKING RETARDED SHIT THAT HAS EVER BEEN SPEWED OUT OF JAMES ROFLE'S ASSHOLE]
*[http://cinemassacre.com/2013/12/30/avgn-movie-update-december-2013/ Fuck he's almost done.]
 


{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{YoutubeSeries}}
{{gaming}}


[[Category:Crap]]
[[Category:Internets Phenomena]]
[[Category:Gaming]]  
[[Category:Rage]]  
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 07:19, 26 January 2023

Because calling a video game that's over a quarter-century old and that no one gives a shit about anymore a piece of "monkey-fuck" supplies insta-lulz.

The Angry Video Game Nerd (aka James "roach" Rolfe) is a basement dwelling, ADD-ridden, nerdraged, coprophiliac, furry who creates long-winded, monotone Gametrailers.com videos where he "reviews" bad video games and, extending to his YouTube account, films. Instead of actually reviewing the games like a professional slapstick author (video game reviewing is serious business), he just yells infantile cusswords (about at a 12-year-old's level) at his television screen. You, the viewer, find this hilarious. Most of them roughly consist of off-key utterances from some shit-eating whacked out autistic chug, e.g. "What the fuck!" "What the fuckin' fuck!!" "What a piece of fuck!".

At the end of a review, he repeatedly talks about topics surrounding shit, such as how he longs for the game to be over so he could milk a bull's asshole (or his own) inside out, take a shit on a game, or simply talk about shit itself. Because really, nothing is funnier than doing the same joke over and over again.

He also takes a swig of a beer bottle every three seconds in his videos to prove to people that he's a man, when really he's only trying to wash out the taste of cum from his mouth.

What kind of a complete anti-social, perma-virgin would actually wear this shit?

Angry Nintendo Nerd has officially changed his named to Angry Video Game Nerd (AVaGiNa) so he wouldn't get sued by Nintendo for making shitty shirts with his catchphrases on them, thereby associating "Nintendo" with this schizoid, liberal bullfuck phenomenon. In reality, AVGN never mentions politics, so it's best to conclude that a butthurt conservative would label him liberal. In all possibility, this inflammation of said conservative's asshole probably originate in the Mecha-Christ 2000 character from AVGN. Don't mess with the precious Jeebus man. It should be noted that regardless of this legal genius, he still has an IQ dwarfed by that of the average 4chan user's left testicle.

However, despite the explosion of "Angry Internet Reviewers" that shat out all over YouTube after his generating fame in 2006, James has maintained a meek, friendly, and down-to-earth visage when interacting with his fans through vlogs or conventions (unlike other reviewers and conglomerates whose egos have inflated to a size comparable to Girlvinyl's total body mass), to this day. However, it is speculated that under this guise of a shy and soft-spoken Internet celebrity, James, deep down, is most likely a homicidal maniac who'll slash a bitch's throat the first moment his temper is tested.

Reviews

Image:Batrape3.gif
A typical episode.
File:Nerdcame.jpg
Confirmed victim of Wacko Jacko.

Although it is true that most of the games he reviews are complete and utter horseshit, his reasons for hating them mainly boil down to him sucking capital ass at video games. It appears the Angry Video Game Nerd (read: Unfunny Video Game Faggot) has reviewed every old game that you've never heard of, and that his shit-related phrase count is well over 9,000 (to the delight of no one).

   
 
I WOULDNT TALK WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST FAGGOT IN THE WORLD.
 

 
 

—Official AVGN website - Admitting he only talks to faggots

   
 
I wanna nail Roger Rabbit to the fucking cross!
 

 
 

—James Rolfe

   
 
You don't know shit about how fucking shitty this fucking shit is!
 

 
 

—James showing off his impressive vocabulary

   
 
I'd rather fuckin' 69 a grizzly bear while shoving King Kong up my ass! I'd rather fuckin' stand in the middle of a ring of monkeys as they pelt me to death with their own anal waste!
 

 
 

—We get it, you'd rather fuck shit-covered animals while another animal with stomach problems empties its bowels into your ear than play games.

It seems to be funny to 99% of the world when someone adds 'fuck' at the end of a word and pretends to suck at video games similar to how the Tourette's Guy pretends to suck at life which is kind of ironic since both him and the AVGN talk about having sex with animals.

For example: "cockadooky bullfuck". Now that was some major lulz? How about "shitload of fuck"? Not just a load of fuck, but a shitload of it! How does he come up with this stuff?

Accurate examples of his reviews


AVGN - Resistance: Fall of Man


AVGN - Gears of War


AVGN - The Orange Box


AVGN - Zelda: Twilight Princess


I'd rather suck my own dick than watch this shitass video!

Other shit on the channel

A new and original series that James and Mike came up with called James and Mike Mondays has them playing various games together, although not in the same crude humor that they both usually have. Yep totally original, nothing like this came before it. This is actually less painful to watch than any newer AVGN episode, but since Mike is part of it, it's still never fun to watch.

Plagiarism

Remember when rabid AVGN fanboys were giving Irate Gamer shit for being a complete hack? Now it seems that James decided to do like Irate and straight out copy a concept. You take a video game cover. The segment is around 5 minutes. You make spurious connections with regards to the cover art. Underneath you put classical music and you have Yahtzee's judging by the cover, and now James' "Bad Game Cover Art". For a comparison just look at these two:

  


James - perfect plagiarist

Downtime

Proof that the Internet is highly educated for making this genius popular.
BRB, not being funny.

Somewhere beginning of April 2007, because the furfag retards TheGameBoys account got all their followers to mark all his videos as inappropriate, YouTube started removing the ANN's videos obviously because he sucks a snails ass at being lulzworthy and rather ends up lookin' like an extremely annoying ADD-ridden 12-year-old who can't figure out how to work a fucking joystick. You know, the ones that come with instructions.


Suspension mk. I

Last week YouTube suspended the AVGN account. No reason was given, but lots of lulz and BAWWing were seen among the AVGN fanboys. This later turned out to be the result of GameTrailers' own incompetence. Apparently, GameTrailers was too stupid to figure out that the one posting the Angry Video Game Nerd videos was, in fact the AVGN himself and made copyright complaints.

Suspension mk. II

On January 8th, 2013, both the JamesNintendoNerd and Cinemassacre channels were terminated for ToS reasons. However, this moment was short-lived, as JamesNintendoNerd's channel was re-instated in half a day. The Cinemassacre channel took longer but unfortunately, it's back.

Butthurt fanboys then tried to find something to blame, so they decided to blame Sega for what happened. This was due to when Sega made DMCA takedowns on various YouTubers that had Shining Force in their videos (regardless of content). Despite the fact that both channels were taken down for ToS violations and not for copyright infringement, the AVGN fans continue to attack Sega. Plus, WHEN THE FUCK DID JAMES AND MIKE EVER TALK ABOUT SHINING FORCE?

War

When it was announced that the old arthritic bitch (Sylvester Stallone) was making a pile of shit epilogue to the Rambo series, the AVGN joked that the title would possibly be John Rambo. Well, the joke was up his ass when the title was, in fact, John Rambo. Fan faggotry burst like a hymen under a needle and people started lulzing under the irony (even though at the end of the video, he said that he was just fucking around, making the lulz vanish instantly).

Eventually, the AVGN got tired of people who mindlessly loved him (yeah, right), and in his Texas Chainsaw Massacre review, he raeped the community by having his furry Guitar Hero mimic the people. This naturally felt like being penetrated through the ear by Batman, so a portion of the community left his bitch-shackling nature and have taken up the cause of ED. When fans pointed this out on YouTube, Mike Matei blocked them and deleted their comments out of butthurt. And thanks to ED pointing this out, the very same review now requires approval for comments.

Mike Matei

Moar info: Mike Matei.



AVGN Nazis

Prisonbreak72020 tries to take on ED.

In the warzone that is the YouTube, Video Game Reviewers and their rivals have spawned many 12-year-old jihadists who would otherwise be vandalizing ED, 4chan or other mean people who make fun of their idols.

  • Prisonbreak72020: Vandal and anticipated an hero. Feel free to leave him a message on his latest ED account user:TheWTFHero, or his new YouTube account MAXPAYNEPRODUCTIONS account closed. Ironically is also a Irate Gamer Nazi. Probably not an epic double agent. Thinks he's black, even though the picture of his mug is shown at the top of his own article.
  • greatexpectations320: Once a minor fanboy who evolved into the unholy avatar of the lulzkiller and meme smasher.

Of course dedicating yourself to defend 12-year-old YouTube users with unfunny game reviews from these people makes you one with the AIDS.

AVGN fanboys are well-known for their stunning lack of a sense of irony. Be it the Irate Gamer, Alexander4488 or whomever, they're quick to call anyone who does video game rants or reviews that are even the faintest bit reminiscent of the Nerd's videos a "ripoff" or a "plagiarist". It seems lost on them that the Angry Video Game Nerd does not hold a patent on this style of review, and himself does trite Game Grumps-style videos, yet no one accuses the Nerd of the same because only his fans are such epic retards. If what they were saying was the case, every Let's Play video game reviewer would be a ripoff of the person who created the first video of its kind.

2010: James Rolfe jumps the shit shark while letting slip some diarrhea

Beginning in spring 2010, Rolfe began doing AVGN videos once per month instead of once every two weeks (supposedly to promote his other "nobody-gives-a-shit" series: Boring Lame Board James), and in spite of doubling his per-video production time there was no noticeable improvement in quality. Judging by his reviews of Cheetahmen and Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, along with his piece on game glitches, he is fast approaching the Irate Gamer's trademark variety of lulzlessness. Furthermore, instead of AVGN videos, James Rolfe is incessantly shitting viewers with photo evidence that he visited the filming locations of B-list horror movies.

As if that weren't enough of a diarrhea dump for his viewers to have to endure, he's been uploading shitty vlogs from E3 and Comic-Con, proving that without a script Rolfe is near-inarticulate. In addition he sporadically uploads video reviews of pre-1990s movies which, conveniently, he has stopped indexing under "Movie Reviews", forcing fans to work backwards through Cinemassacre blog archives just to figure out what he's done over the past few months.

Other recent highlights on Rolfe's website Cinemassacre indicate that he's going in the same direction as Spoony: becoming increasingly vlog-centric, inconsistent, and self-aggrandizing in his overall content. These highlights include:

He has further confirmed his status as an Internet celebrity on the decline by doing nothing but spewing random shit nobody except asspies cares about at all on his blog to keep his fanbois generating the page clicks needed to keep the ad revenue money rolling in so he and Mike Matei can spend all their time in the basement together having buttsecks instead of producing anything that could be possibly be mistaken as creative.

Last Thursday, a butthurt YouTube "intellect", named Asalieri (who quite obviously wrote this part of the article, hurf durf) made a valid video deconstructing one of Rolfe's reviews, as a part of his own series, "Reviewing a Reviewer". In the video he compared James's declining quality with a lesser-known, yet up-and-coming, OCD nerd retro game reviewer named Roo. The video was taken down twice (by Mike Matei). Upon this, Asalieri wussed out and called a truce with Matei (because the Internet is such a big SRS FKN BSNS warzone, Jesus fucking Christ almighty). However, due to numerous complaints from subjects of Asalieri's Reviewing a Reviewer show and fanboys of said subjects, YouTube terminated his old account.

AVGN: The e-beggar

I think I need just a bit moar money. For the cats you see.
James' face after spending all of the $75,000+ to buy a new house, car and three dildos. Screw the movie!
A fan has the audacity to question James' movie, which causes a butthurt response from the manchild himself.
Mike's reaction to the e-begging saga.

After seeing Yahtzee's hilarious attempt to cash in from his drooling fans and failing to do so due to Internet backlash, James thought to himself "Hmm. I'm gonna make a movie about my iconic & not at all tiring AVGN persona very soon. But I don't feel like spending cash directly from my own wallet or the thousands I already make from Blip, Cinemassacre, YouTube, GameTrailers and ScrewAttack. Shit fuck, what the hell? I'll ask my shee- err AVGN fans for some quick cash! Sweet cowabunga dogshit I'm a genius!"

Which he did. And asked for the grand total of $75,000, despite now being part of the JewTube partnership, has already gotten donations from his fanboys before and is backed up financially from both ScrewAttack and SpikeTv.com. It goes without saying that James is really squeezing out all that he can gain from his beloved AVGN sheep without any regrets and will keep on doing so until the very last cent.


Oh James, how the mighty have fallen.


Because signing autographs is serious business.


Here guys let me sell you all of my junk!


It's time to pay your investors in full Nerd.

It was unsure whether James would either collect all the moneyz and make a run for it without delivering any form of movie whatsoever or deliver a movie so bad, it would make you want to see the Fred movie and actually enjoy it, despite it being a messed up e-fame fuelled piece of junk that nobody cared about the second it was released. No matter how bad it was, at least Fred didn't e-beg his fantards in order to make it. Although the AVGN fanboys surprised the Internet by actually reaching the $75,000 goal in less than ten days for a movie that's not even in production yet, James wasn't satisfied with the results. He wanted even moar than the requested $75,000 in order to have a backup plan in case the AVGN movie is successful enough to have a sequel. In the end, he collected over $300,000 with lots of fans bawwing about them not being able to donate anymore, despite James receiving 4x the amount requested. Delicious e-drama coming from both AVGN apologists and former Nerd fans should fuel the Internet with lulz soon enough.

The fund raiser didn't officially end at $75,000 because James wanted the AVGN movie to be a fan funded movie, so then he wouldn't have to pay those pesky investors whom would risk their hard earned money by investing in an obscure indie movie project that's got higher chances of flopping than succeeding. He was so happy that he had promised all of his donating fans that they would receive an individual "thank you for the money, is nice" vid for all of their efforts. They still haven't received this special video to this day, but AVGN fans are very forgiving.

Barely a couple of hours later, the AVGN's crew posted this thank you vid involving James shitting all over a children's N64 game called ██████████████████. The "review" was so shitty that it made Alexander4488 look like a competent reviewer.

All of the drama in a nutshell:


 
 
i don’t get it he was supposed to get 75k. now he has a more than 200k yet ppl keep donating. why it’s not like he’s going to put all that money to use. and he still says the donation is going to end in a few days. damn what a jew
 

 

—A Jewtuber


Those six people who donated for the special movie cameo reward are so fucked.

AVGN plushies

Plushies for all the fanboys to jerk off to.

With his donation drive coming to an end, James decided that $325,000 just isn't enough for him, so as a last ditch effort he decides to sell plushies of him and his side-character Shit Pickle for $18 each, further capitalizing off his success. It's pretty obvious that his fanboys are going to buy these by the hundreds. What's next, Shit Pickle dildos?

Also, I wonder where he got the money to supply those plushes?

Cheetahmen II

Again, in before Mike disables likes/dislikes.
After deleting multiple comments and blocking fans, Mike suddenly comes out to say he never approved of the project. And then promptly deleted these comments too. Fucking prick.

On August 6, 2012 the Nerd uploads a video advertising some old fuck's Kickstarter to help patch some shitty NES game called Cheetahmen II to actually make it beatable and make reproduction cartridges of it, requiring $65,000 in donations. While the idea was bad enough, the video in question was probably one of the worst things ever produced on James's channel, it being very unfunny, forced, and basically showing how much of an e-beggar James is. One reason why this idea horrible is the fact that there already existed ROM hacks that would patch the game which were released years ago, for free no less. For donating $60 for God knows what reason, you get your own copy of a patched Cheetahmen II reproduction cart, whoopee fuckin' do.

But in all seriousness, who the fuck cares about Cheetahmen II? No one wanted to play this game, until all of the sudden AVGN started liking the game for whatever reason, then a lot of the fanboys decided to like it too, many of them actually donating to this worthless cause, it already receiving over $20,000 with just twenty-nine days to go. However, not all AVGN fans were fooled, and could quickly see that the Kickstarter as being a scam and are disliking the video and leaving negative comments, like calling James a sellout/e-beggar or calling the whole thing a scam.

While the video still has more likes (barely), it has had probably the most dislikes than any video that was ever uploaded on James's channel. Strangely, Mike hasn't reacted at all yet. As expected, the cowardly Mike at first tried using damage control, until ultimately just disabled comments and ratings. Because of this huge display of butthurt, many videos were made to fuel this drama, and you know that you've fucked up royally when even the fucking Irate Gamer is poking fun at you.

The Cheetahmen II video that was censored to hell still has the Kickstarter link in its description, but since there are no dislikes/comments around to show how much of a scam it is, any blind fantard won't see any problem in giving their money away. And if that isn't bad enough, there are also Cheetahmen II ads plastered all over the Cinemassacre homepage, and possibly various other sites as well (a known one being OCRemix).

UPDATE: The Kickstarter has finally come to an end. Being funded with a grand total of $94,270!

And he's asking for more money via PayPal til the end of September!

So much hype for a game that already sucks.

The Kickstarter video in question (comments & ratings disabled)

An unlisted video which is an update on the Kickstarter (still comments & ratings disabled)

Cheetahmen II speedrun, there saved you $60

TheArchfag basically earning his few hours of fame by going after AVGN like everyone else

The amount of money actually needed to reproduce fixed Cheetahmen II cartridges

Wow, you know you really fucked up when even The Irate Gamer is making fun of you.

Greg Paybitch

The old fart that is running the Kickstarter. The fact that it is hard to obtain information on him makes him more shady than he already is. But from the gathered information, Greg Pabich is very obsessed with The Cheetahmen, and is a very rich man living in a high class house. He claims that he is famous, yet no one in the world knew who he fucking was until he got involved with the Nerd. And from places like his Facebook and The Cheetahmen website you can see that he's been planning this whole Kickstarter for a long time. One of Greg's goals in life is to make Cheetahmen the next Angry Birds. The website alone contains overpriced Cheetahmen merchandise, and you may have noticed that the Cheetahmen II Kickstarter description is in ALL CAPS, but in the comments section he types like he forgot where the caps lock key is. In the Hall of Fame/Shame section of the site they even wrote Mike Magay's name wrong (MIKE MATAEI), proving just how much they care about their business partners.

Upon further research on Greg, it was found out that he had a history of fraud before and that he was sued for over three million dollars for fraud. Unfortunately, he wasn't convicted due to lack of evidence.

SERIOUS UPDATE: Greg doesn't even own the The Cheetahmen copyright, he only owns the right to make Cheetahmen games "software".

Conclusion

So after all the drama that's been going on, after all those tons of donations way beyond the goal, what is the end result of all this? An even more broken piece of shit game than it was before. See for yourself:

$95,000 well spent.

This dumbass can't even get past the first level and he still says he's proud of owning this piece of shit.

An AVGN ripoff unboxes a copy of this game. He doesn't even play the game but still says it's well worth the price.

The AVGN movie

Mrs.Nerd, a retarded SJW cunt.

On September 2nd, 2014, the AVGN movie was finally released for all his adoring fans to rent on Vimeo. It's actually worse than the trailer made it out to be. Most of the special effect scenes are either cheaply done digital effects or practical effects that look like they came out of a 60s Godzilla movie. It's about an hour longer than it should have been, and the plot is caustically unfunny shit. It is a two-hour ego dickstroking exercise where everybody praises James' talent as the AVGN. The greenscreen effects are worse than any YouTube video you'll ever see, so amateur even Irate Gamer would call them cowapieceofdogshit. The acting is beyond bad and that is from actors who did better in shit like Birdemic. Yes, Birdemic had better acting than this self-fellatio of James Rolfe. The plot was written by ADHD sperg hyped on LSD and sugar, while fapping to AVGN episodes, and it makes absolutely no sense. The pacing is all over the place. One of the reason why this movie sucks ass is because it has SJW shit. That's right, James' horse face SJW ruined the movie by add an extra nigger and a cum-dumpster. You might want to ask how does that ruin the movie, when it is already a piece of shit? Well the thing is that everybody on the Internet, not just gamer had it with these SJW shit about racial equality and respect female bullshit. But James' wife just had to made it step further by promoting this type of shit, especially when the movie is suppose to be about video game. There is also a scene where the nigger had a wedding with a white wimmin. It is speculated that this was added because of James' fetish for cuckoldry and watching his wife getting huge black cocks jammed in her orifices.
Of course fanboys are rushing to defend this garbage as being intentionally bad, which of course would bite James in the ass, as one could easily say that about the games that he has "reviewed" thereby making him more pointless than he already is. Another defense of theirs is that the movie was intentionally bad, which begs the question what the fuck James spent the remainder of the 300,000 dollars on. Obviously he didn't need that extra cash, if he was just going to make a movie that was as bad as possibly could be. So either James shows his failure as a movie maker or he just chose to piss on the fan and tell them it is raining while he ran away with the money.

Worse than Foodfight! About missing Pics
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A legit review that got deleted, because it offended too many fantards


The following reviews were not selected. These were the most popular on IMDb.

The reviews are in About missing Pics
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AVGN: The game

To highlight the fact that Steam users are absolute idiots, they have green-lit Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures. A game where you play as the Nerd, while shooting, and oddly enough not shitting on, enemies, in the best retro style, complete with 8-bit graphics ripped off from famous NES games.

Kicking the SJW nest: the Fembusters not-review

In May of 2016, the AVGN released what is considered by some, one of his most controversial "reviews". In it, he decided to not to watch the failed reboot of Ghostbusters, as he established that the movie is a disservice to the fans and the creators and actors of the original movie. Without using his "angry nerd" persona, Rolfe explains calmly and with a great detail why the Paul Feig's reboot does not deserve his attention, nor his money.


See how this dudebro manbaby is alienating wymyn from succeeding in films

Despite giving a straightforward and easy to understand explanation (for anybody with two braincells to rub together), in the eyes of the gullible retards, cuckolds and easily offended Social Justice Warriors and Nu-males, he committed the sin of criticizing a movie that according to Jezebel is a "Is A Punch in the Dick to All of Mankind" and so, he is egregiously punching down women and oppressing them with his mansplaining to the point of almost raping them. Soon the Clickbait harpies opportunistically appeared and started to shriek in which is clearly an example that they lack comprehension skills and hear what only they want to hear just to appear progressive and feminist in front of their acquaintances.

Unsurprisingly the aforesaid clickbait "journalists" were suspiciously silent when Andre "Black Nerd" Meadows, Joe "deme dos pesos ese" Vargas and Alachia Queen raised similar points about the movie but get away with it because they are not part of the evil white male race.


Even horny refugees from Syria have more moderation
because valid criticisms is like enslaving women
Why do you people think we progressives are violent?
James Rolfe, leader of the Men Rights Movement
They seem to forgot that thanks to AVGN unfunny videos, they can beg money on Patreon instead of having a real job
Screen Junkies' Devin Faraci trying to impress fellow nu-males
Says the immature people who demands that Cartoon Network makes lesbian cartoons
Why SJW cannot be comedians, even if they claim to be one
SJW showing signs of mental retardation and fondness of Male tears on twitter
YOU'RE A FUCKING WHITE MALE!!!1
Look everybody! I don't hate women! See? I'm soooo progressive guise!

Several clickbait sites reported about this non-issue like the Daily Dot, Know your Meme, the Daily Beast, the Atlantic and others showing that was a slow day in news and the clickbait bubble is about to burst. Nonetheless this moment of clarity of Rolfe can be temporal, as his wife probably will make him to apologize to the women of the world under the threat of refusing to have pity sex with him anymore. Hitherto, the internet hate machine is having a good day while it is mining the salt of Fembusters fans.


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And how much did the clickbait, feminist shit sites affect James' video? Not a lot, really.


All those articles and complaining for this?



A comic version by KukuruyoArt explains the entire bullshit in a nutshell.



In Conclusion


Screenwave

Around the mid '10s following the absolute failure that was the Angry Video Game Nerd Movie and James Rolfe's bitch wife demanding he look after their two daughters after 5:40 PM every evening while she attends a wine class and gets blacked by Jerome and his home boys, Jimmy boy decided to outsource 90% of his creative output to a company with a focus on phasing electrons through the reality of the Youtube algorithm called Screenwave.

With Rolfe obviously not being the same angry basement dweller he was a decade ago, this would have been fine had Screenwave not helped accelerate the downward spiral of the Cinemassacre Youtube channel and enabled James Rolfe's problems with having "no time" to do jack fucking shit!

Fans began noticing how much their beloved autistic hero began phoning in his performance even more than usual in newer AVGN episodes and when questioning it (or why James unemployable manchild buddy Mike "10 inch" Matei thought it clever to post pictures of his monster cock online), (or the unexplained disappeareances of fan favorites Bootsy and Guitar Guy) over on the Cinemassacre subreddit, were swiftly banned by a retarded faggot who went by the handle of "BTNMasherDraco" leading to the creation of The Cinemassacre Truth subreddit in response which as of August 2021 has surpassed 11,000 jaded fanboys and counting!

Soon, the fat bastards employed by Screenwave began making their disgusting appearances known to long time Cinemassacre fanboys by way of "Rental Reviews", James Rolfe's low energy idea for a show talking about old crappy movies that nobody wanted to rent during the days of Blockbuster.

Their distinct lack of chemistry with Rolfe showed and in turn, "Rental Reviews" was mercifully cancelled after a hundred episodes only CinemassacreTruth redditors watched for the lulz.

Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the end of Screenwave's involvement with Cinemassacre and before long, they helped birth James Rolfe's even more lazy and half assed idea for new content with the advent of "Rex Viper", Rolfe's mid-life crisis band singing shitty cover songs that would make even the likes of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys jealous with virgin rage!

Meanwhile, AVGN continued to decline with game selections that made it painfully clear to everyone except what few shit encrusted boot licking fanboys he has left that Rolfe's passion for calling games AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and a WHAT A SHITLOAD OF FUCK is no longer burning with the intensity of a diabetic fat fuck's heart seconds before he keels over in the Little Debbies snack cake aisle at his local Wal-Mart.

The Three Stooges

  • Justin Silverman: A morbidly obese offspring of Jabba the Hutt who's biggest claim to fame prior to making James Rolfe look good by direct comparison is being a cringy edgelord faggot namely making a complete ass of himself after being invited to be on an episode of the late TotalBiscuit podcast. Silverman is also known for his perverse lust of Gengar from Pokemon having an entire room dedicated to the altar of his Ghost-Type husbando whom he will one day marry making him the second person in history after JustinRPG to help push beastiality as a valid form of legal marriage for furries and zoophiles the world over!
  • Kieran: A long haired greasy looking biker dude wannabe with a penchant for being an Internet Tough Guy often descending upon the Cinemassacre Truth subreddit with a delusional fury that would make Amy and Samy Bouzaglo from that one episode of Kitchen Nightmares blush. However, it seems his mommy told him to stop sperging out for as of late, Kieran's surprisingly backed off from his autistic tard raging at a subreddit that grows in proportion to every one of his giant caveman meltdowns and even has lost some weight to boot though time will tell if he ever stops wearing that same denim jacket that has all but fused to his torso!
  • TonyFromHackTheMovies: What? You don't know who TonyFromHackTheMovies is? Why, he's a guy named Tony from the "Hack The Movies" Youtube channel, only the most prestigious of movie related Youtube channels at a whopping 39,000 subscribers whom even James Rolfe, a self proclaimed curator of film, bows down to because nobody err..."hacks the movies" like TonyFromHackTheMovies does! No longer seemingly associated with Cinemassacre and Screenwave as of 2021!

James Rolfe Finally Reveals His Power Level

Despite James Rolfe being known for playing a loser adult manchild with serious anger management problems and a putrid scat fetish, Rolfe for the longest time somehow managed to come across as a fairly meek and milquetoast person outside of playing the Nerd.

That all changed on August 6th, 2021 when the Cinemassacre Youtube channel uploaded a tell-all Behind the Scenes video exposing many long time CinemassacreTruth redditors suspicions about the declining state of the channel.

To summarize:

  • James Rolfe revealed the Nerd Room has been reduced to a small incredibly cramped set explaining the same static shot of the Nerd in recent episodes
  • James Rolfe also revealed he "has no time" not so much because he's pussy whipped, but because his clueless boomer ass is running tech support even having a convoluted tech set up that would make LinusTechTips freak out. He even leaves things such as putting an onion in his mouth while tied up in his Shrek AVGN episode to himself because god forbid he makes any of the fatties from Screenwave do anything besides make runs to the refridgerator
  • Finally, in the last few minutes of the Behind the Scenes video, James Rolfe not so subtly attacked his clueless fanbase specifically the CinemassacreTruth subredditors for daring to criticize him let alone Screenwave referring to such criticisms of being of the "assholish variety".

Bravo James Rolfe, you finally broke your candid Mr. Rogers persona to reveal just how much of an ungrateful shit of the assholish variety you actually are you stupid special needs fucktard! Enjoy having to get a real job when your channel inevitably crashes soon!

Angry Video Game Nerd: A Movie Making Nerd

If you thought the behind the scenes video was bad enough, James outdoes himself yet again by releasing an autobiography on November 18th 2022. This 312 page (yes, really) book is not only riddled with tidbits of autism, but bad formatting that looks like it was done by a first grader. Some of the gems include:


  • A "forward" done by his wife (who is speculated to also be his editor, which even for an art teacher, is embarassing that she thought this book was ok for public release)
  • Went to a special-ed school
  • Constantly tries to get out of situations by pissing and cutting himself, even attempted suicide at one point
  • Didn't know what alcohol was until he was 21
  • Made a left turn on red, driving into oncoming traffic and almost killing him and the girl he was driving home
  • Stood next to the entrance of a computer lab for 8 hours straight so he could work on his "movies"


Otherwise it's a behind-the-scenes of the AVGN movie, which is something he's actually proud of even though his movie makes the TGWTG movies look superior in comparison (that's not a compliment by the way). In fact majority of the book is filled with nepotism and is an ego trip of a man who thinks he's done no wrong and gets mad at everyone telling him otherwise, which proves that he's lived in a bubble for most of his life.

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Random AVGN hate videos

Since there's quite a trend of AVGN hate going on as of late, of course there are going to be plenty of videos speaking out the truth against James and Mike's charades, just to get their fifteen seconds of infamy. The following contains such videos, as well as some of those following the Bores defense trend. Expect plenty of AVGN fanboy butthurt in the comments of these videos.

Coming from a Canadian called "WrestlingJesus".

....

Sums up AVGN's fanboys

Brad jokes tries to make fun of the AVGN but fails because he is even more unfunny.

Another channel Bores plugged, even though he's made hateful videos of him in the past.

Makes you wonder who he was describing near the end of the video.

Angry Video Game (you are not the) Father

James Rolfe, his wife April, their new baby and her potential daddies on their way to Maury Povich.

A couple of weeks before the announcement on May 12th, 2013, James Rolfe became something that no actual video game nerd has any hope to becoming, a father. From the blog post (archive), there appears to have been complications during the pregnancy: The child ended up coming out black, confirming the cuck was cuckolded by his wife April Chmura Rolfe and Tyrone.

A special message from Chris Bores

Gallery

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See also

External links


Angry Video Game Nerd is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal

Angry Video Game Nerd is part of a series on

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Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.