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Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen, and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the ship. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the ocean with me.


There now is your insular city of the Manhattoes, belted round by wharves as Indian isles by coral reefs - commerce surrounds it with her surf. Right and left, the streets take you waterward. Its extreme down-town is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves, and cooled by breezes, which a few hours previous were out of sight of land. Look at the crowds of water-gazers there.
Krisez is an [[Australian]] [[porn|photographer]] found in Sydney. You can usually find him at [[cosplay]] conventions with two or three cameras, because as we all know you [[truth|obviously need more then one camera]] to be a real photographer. [[Penis|Overcompensation]] is lovely, it really helps to pick up [[jailbait|younger girls]].


Circumambulate the city of a dreamy Sabbath afternoon. Go from Corlears Hook to Coenties Slip, and from thence, by Whitehall northward. What do you see? - Posted like silent sentinels all around the town, stand thousands upon thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries. Some leaning against the spiles; some seated upon the pier-heads; some looking over the bulwarks
==The 'man'==
page 2
[[Image:Thisiswhykrisezhot.jpg|thumb|Pity sex now?]]
[[Image:Kneel.jpg|thumb|BFF's?]]
Now, look at this. Seriously, [[DO IT FAGGOT|look at it]]. It's hard to believe someone with a 10year old's hair cut that happens to be [[old|39]] years of age can get a girlfriend right? Well miraculously, [[kittens|he has one]]. But apparently one is  not enough. Like his cameras he needs two or more at all times. The seemingly innocent flirt, actually has tendencies to take it too far and then some. It's well known fact that he likes to [[fuck]] around with [[CP|younger girls]]. Younger [[Marriage|TAKEN]] girls. It makes him feel good, like a bully child with low self esteem, it makes him feel like the alpha male he wishes he was to have young taken girls get caught up in his mind games, so he can get in their pants, fuck around for a while and then return home to his girlfriend and [[win|fuck them both together]].


of ships from China; some high aloft in the rigging, as if striving to get a still better seaward peep. But these are all landsmen; of week days pent up in lath and plaster - tied to counters, nailed to benches, clinched to desks. How then is this? Are the green fields gone? What do they here?
[http://www.dealextreme.com/feedbacks/browsereviews.dx/op.KrisEz Camera gear and sex toys. Oh dear.]
==Photography==
Surprisingly, he's a half decent photographer. That is outside of [[cosplay]] of course. [[Vagina|Inside]] of cosplay, he takes quick snapshots, sticks a huge fuckoff '[[watermark]]' on them, edits nothing and uploads them basically as raw images. The less work he has to do the better, after all, he's only photographing cosplayers as a means to get closer to them, pick out the [[fat]] ones.  


But look! here come more crowds, pacing straight for the water, and seemingly bound for a dive. Strange! Nothing will content them but the extremest limit of the land; loitering under the shady lee of yonder warehouses will not suffice. No. They must get just as nigh the water as they possibly can without falling in. And there they stand - miles of them - leagues. Inlanders all, they come from lanes and alleys, streets and avenues, - north, east, south, and west. Yet here they all unite. Tell me, does the magnetic virtue of the needles of the compasses of all those ships attract them thither?
At a recent convention he stated 'pick your online name so when people Google search you they only find you'. Now, if you Google image search Krisez you'll find more about his private life then you're expecting [as well as a whole bunch of messed up images].


Once more. Say, you are in the country; in some high land of lakes. Take almost any path you please, and ten to one it carries you down in a dale, and leaves you there by a pool in the stream. There is magic in it. Let the most absent- minded of men be plunged in his deepest reveries - stand that man on his legs, set his feet a-going, and he will infallibly lead you to water, if water there be in all that region. Should you ever be athirst in the great American desert, try this experiment, if your caravan happen to be supplied with a metaphysical professor. Yes, as every one knows, meditation and water are wedded for ever.
==The victims==
[[Image:Rape Tape by KrisEz.jpg|thumb|She even LOOKS like a rape victim.]]
[[Image:Perfect dark by krisez-d2ym014.jpg|thumb|He's tapping this.]]
His most famous victim (and potentially the most hated dude on this earth by the girlfriend) Kat. Young and [[bisexual]], [[cat|Kat]] had a somewhat hairy and rather butch girlfriend when Krisez started on him. He pried the happy couple apart and had his fun with Kat's body and mind. He would spend all the time he could with Kat. Photograph him, Made him believe that he idolized him. Even did a '[[lol|rape]]' shoot with him, which one samefag suspects more then photographing took place. Eventually when Kris outgrew her, he just left her, with less friends, no girlfriend, nothing. She then fell into a [[suicide|suicidal]] spiral of depression she hasn't coming back out from, convinced he still loves her no matter what support she receives. Friends are patiently waiting for the day that she realizes he NEVER loved her. Only then can she let go and move on. His latest victim seems to be Bec. She was with him almost all of Animania, and witness reports say that she was sending Krisez sexually explicit messages while ignoring all messages from her EX-boyfriend. [[win|(He found this out by logging all her chats and reading her phone messages that dog)]]


But here is an artist. He desires to paint you the dreamiest, shadiest, quietest, most enchanting bit of romantic landscape in all the valley of the Saco. What is the chief element he employs? There stand his trees, each with a hollow trunk, as if a hermit and a crucifix were within; and here sleeps his meadow, and there sleep his cattle; and up from yonder cottage goes a sleepy smoke. Deep into distant woodlands winds a mazy way, reaching to overlapping spurs of mountains bathed in their hill-side blue. But though the picture lies thus tranced, and though this pine-tree shakes down its sighs like leaves upon this shepherd's head, yet all were vain, unless the shepherd's eye were fixed upon the magic stream before him. Go visit the Prairies in June,
There have been MANY MANY more, Some girls have been lucky enough to see right through him.
page 3


when for scores on scores of miles you wade knee-deep among Tiger- lilies - what is the one charm wanting? - Water - there is not a drop of water there! Were Niagara but a cataract of sand, would you travel your thousand miles to see it? Why did the poor poet of Tennessee, upon suddenly receiving two handfuls of silver, deliberate whether to buy him a coat, which he sadly needed, or invest his money in a pedestrian trip to Rockaway Beach? Why is almost every robust healthy boy with a robust healthy soul in him, at some time or other crazy to go to sea? Why upon your first voyage as a passenger, did you yourself feel such a mystical vibration, when first told that you and your ship were now out of sight of land? Why did the old Persians hold the sea holy? Why did the Greeks give it a separate deity, and own brother of Jove? Surely all this is not without meaning. And still deeper the meaning of that story of Narcissus, who because he could not grasp the tormenting, mild image he saw in the fountain, plunged into it and was drowned. But that same image, we ourselves see in all rivers and oceans. It is the image of the ungraspable phantom of life; and this is the key to it all.
==Facebook==


Now, when I say that I am in the habit of going to sea whenever I begin to grow hazy about the eyes, and begin to be over conscious of my lungs, I do not mean to have it inferred that I ever go to sea as a passenger. For to go as a passenger you must needs have a purse, and a purse is but a rag unless you have something in it. Besides, passengers get sea-sick - grow quarrelsome - don't sleep of nights - do not enjoy themselves much, as a general thing; - no, I never go as a passenger; nor, though I am something of a salt, do I ever go to sea as a Commodore, or a Captain, or a Cook. I abandon the glory and distinction of such offices to those who like them. For my part, I abominate all honorable respectable toils, trials, and tribulations of every kind whatsoever. It is quite as much as I can do to take care of myself, without taking care of ships, barques, brigs, schooners, and what not. And as for going as cook, - though I confess there is considerable glory in that, a cook being a sort of officer on ship-board - yet, somehow, I never fancied broiling fowls; - though once broiled, judiciously buttered, and judgmatically salted and peppered, there is no one who will
He claims he doesn't have one, but there's rumours that he uses an alias for his facebook stalking needs. (Artemis Drakagh) Congratulations, use a fake name for FACEBOOK, and you're known alias to buy sex toys. [[winrar|You deserve a medal]].
page 4


speak more respectfully, not to say reverentially, of a broiled fowl than I will. It is out of the idolatrous dotings of the old Egyptians upon broiled ibis and roasted river horse, that you see the mummies of those creatures in their huge bake-houses the pyramids.
==Special talent or greedy troll?==
[[Category:In Jokes]]
It seems krisez has managed to perfect one thing every deviantart artist dreams about - boosting page views. He has apparently told a few people how to do it but nobody is going to say yet. But surprisingly, he doesn't seem to boost his own, just any person he watches that mentions kiriban. Could it be he's over compensating for something by taking almost every kiriban he knows about, or can it be that he just can't allow someone else to get something better then him.
 
==Online antics==
* Has deleted all of his cosplay related photographs off of DeviantArt for attention.
* Posts his pictures up on 4chan for attention
* Posts pictures of people who have had disagreements on /cgl/ so he can get off over the drama he's created
* Is an insatiable drama-whore
* Cannot type without saying what he is typing out loud.
 
==Real life antics==
* Has a photography booth at [[Animu|Animania]]
* [[almost raped|Tries to rape]] cosplayers infront of there significant others.
* Spends far to much money, lives life in debt so he can brag about all the expensive shit he owns.
* Is an insatiable drama whore.
* Is actually a flaming [[homosexual]]
* [[redneck|Prefers black person girls]]
 
==External links==
*[http://krisez.deviantart.com/ http://krisez.deviantart.com/]
*[http://whatabigcamera.com http://whatabigcamera.com Even the website suggests overcompensation.]
*[http://www.teamdefcon.net/ His online gaming clan]
*[http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/drakargh For more details about the author of this article]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 06:33, 19 June 2015

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Krisez has no Internets connection
ED articles need internets relation, and it's not hard to do. You can help by adding more info on websites/trolling about this topic and lulz/drama pertaining to them or this page could be deleted at any time. For help, see this and this
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Krisez is an Australian photographer found in Sydney. You can usually find him at cosplay conventions with two or three cameras, because as we all know you obviously need more then one camera to be a real photographer. Overcompensation is lovely, it really helps to pick up younger girls.

The 'man'

Pity sex now?
File:Kneel.jpg
BFF's?

Now, look at this. Seriously, look at it. It's hard to believe someone with a 10year old's hair cut that happens to be 39 years of age can get a girlfriend right? Well miraculously, he has one. But apparently one is not enough. Like his cameras he needs two or more at all times. The seemingly innocent flirt, actually has tendencies to take it too far and then some. It's well known fact that he likes to fuck around with younger girls. Younger TAKEN girls. It makes him feel good, like a bully child with low self esteem, it makes him feel like the alpha male he wishes he was to have young taken girls get caught up in his mind games, so he can get in their pants, fuck around for a while and then return home to his girlfriend and fuck them both together.

Camera gear and sex toys. Oh dear.

Photography

Surprisingly, he's a half decent photographer. That is outside of cosplay of course. Inside of cosplay, he takes quick snapshots, sticks a huge fuckoff 'watermark' on them, edits nothing and uploads them basically as raw images. The less work he has to do the better, after all, he's only photographing cosplayers as a means to get closer to them, pick out the fat ones.

At a recent convention he stated 'pick your online name so when people Google search you they only find you'. Now, if you Google image search Krisez you'll find more about his private life then you're expecting [as well as a whole bunch of messed up images].

The victims

File:Rape Tape by KrisEz.jpg
She even LOOKS like a rape victim.
File:Perfect dark by krisez-d2ym014.jpg
He's tapping this.

His most famous victim (and potentially the most hated dude on this earth by the girlfriend) Kat. Young and bisexual, Kat had a somewhat hairy and rather butch girlfriend when Krisez started on him. He pried the happy couple apart and had his fun with Kat's body and mind. He would spend all the time he could with Kat. Photograph him, Made him believe that he idolized him. Even did a 'rape' shoot with him, which one samefag suspects more then photographing took place. Eventually when Kris outgrew her, he just left her, with less friends, no girlfriend, nothing. She then fell into a suicidal spiral of depression she hasn't coming back out from, convinced he still loves her no matter what support she receives. Friends are patiently waiting for the day that she realizes he NEVER loved her. Only then can she let go and move on. His latest victim seems to be Bec. She was with him almost all of Animania, and witness reports say that she was sending Krisez sexually explicit messages while ignoring all messages from her EX-boyfriend. (He found this out by logging all her chats and reading her phone messages that dog)

There have been MANY MANY more, Some girls have been lucky enough to see right through him.

Facebook

He claims he doesn't have one, but there's rumours that he uses an alias for his facebook stalking needs. (Artemis Drakagh) Congratulations, use a fake name for FACEBOOK, and you're known alias to buy sex toys. You deserve a medal.

Special talent or greedy troll?

It seems krisez has managed to perfect one thing every deviantart artist dreams about - boosting page views. He has apparently told a few people how to do it but nobody is going to say yet. But surprisingly, he doesn't seem to boost his own, just any person he watches that mentions kiriban. Could it be he's over compensating for something by taking almost every kiriban he knows about, or can it be that he just can't allow someone else to get something better then him.

Online antics

  • Has deleted all of his cosplay related photographs off of DeviantArt for attention.
  • Posts his pictures up on 4chan for attention
  • Posts pictures of people who have had disagreements on /cgl/ so he can get off over the drama he's created
  • Is an insatiable drama-whore
  • Cannot type without saying what he is typing out loud.

Real life antics

  • Has a photography booth at Animania
  • Tries to rape cosplayers infront of there significant others.
  • Spends far to much money, lives life in debt so he can brag about all the expensive shit he owns.
  • Is an insatiable drama whore.
  • Is actually a flaming homosexual
  • Prefers black person girls

External links

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