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Edmund Kemper: Difference between revisions
imported>Nix Created page with "thumb Edmund "Big Ed" Kemper is an American serial killer. Before being rudely imprisoned, he enjoyed long, quiet drives,..." |
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Edmund "Big Ed" Kemper is an American | {{needsmoar|everything}} | ||
Edmund "Big Ed" Kemper is an American Serial killer, [[Loser|Wannabe cop]], And Tall ass Kike. Before being rudely imprisoned, he enjoyed long, quiet drives, helping young female hitchhikers, spending time with his mother and cooking. Standing at the impressive height of 6'9", college girls absolutely adored him. | |||
[[File:A1f9f698fd8b93043050dbafa5fc9bb6.jpg|thumb|right|Big Ed with two bad bitches on his arm.]] | |||
His IQ was tested at 145; which explains how he got into the panties of so many co-eds in the 70s. Or maybe it was his glasses, his deep baritone voice and his unfailing respect for women. | His IQ was tested at 145; which explains how he got into the panties of so many co-eds in the 70s. Or maybe it was his glasses, his deep baritone voice and his [[Simp|unfailing respect for women]]. | ||
[[File:0 Police-Officers-Escorting-Edmund-Kemper-into-Court.jpg|thumb]] | [[File:0 Police-Officers-Escorting-Edmund-Kemper-into-Court.jpg|thumb]] | ||
Ed wasn't always such a stud; in fact, throughout his childhood, he terrified nearly every member of the opposite sex. Including his sainted Mother, Clarnell. When he was still in elementary school,he was not allowed to sleep upstairs with his mother or his sisters, instead, he was banished to the basement, in case he decided to | Ed wasn't always such a stud; in fact, throughout his childhood, he terrified nearly every member of the opposite sex. Including his sainted Mother, Clarnell. When he was still in elementary school,he was not allowed to sleep upstairs with his mother or his sisters, instead, he was banished to the basement, in case he decided to [[ræp]] one or all of them. | ||
[[File:Ed-kemper-young.jpg|thumb|[https://crimepiperblog.wordpress.com/2020/04/25/edmund-kemper-myths-photo-debunks/ This is actually school shooter Luke Woodham, but let's act like this is Ed.]]] | |||
As Ed grew into a teenager, he decided that he didn't like his Mother very much, and decided to go live with his Dad. Poor Ed; his Dad had remarried, and just wanted Ed's giant ass out of his house. So Ed was sent to live with his elderly grandparents. He was soon tired of his grandmother | As Ed grew into a teenager, he decided that he didn't like his Mother very much, and decided to go live with his Dad. Poor Ed; his Dad had remarried, and just wanted Ed's giant ass out of his house. So at the tender, sweet, age of 15, Ed was sent to live with his elderly grandparents. He was soon tired of his grandmother, so he shot her twice,then continued stabbing her,until the old bitch lay dead in her kitchen. When his grandpa came home, he then shot his ass dead too. | ||
[[File:Edmund-kemper-grandparents.jpg|thumb|right|Big Ed's Grandparents.]] | |||
Ed was then sent to a nice, comfy mental institution. Being only 15, he was able to make friends with all of the incompetent psychiatrists. He was given the job of helping with the diagnostic tests, and by the age of 21, he was able to completely mind fuck the idiotic mental health "professionals" into believing he had been completely rehabilitated. | |||
After being released at age 21, he was sent back to live with his mother, even though the psychiatrists had insisted that if he were to live with her again, he'd definitely start killing all over again. Surprise! They were right for once. | |||
[[File:Ed-kemper-mother-dead-graphic-image.png|thumb| right| Ed's mom and her severed head after Ed literally fucked her windpipe.]] | |||
Ed started cruising the college campus where his Mom worked, picking up hitchhikers and anyone who would get into his car. | |||
After perfecting his craft of making hitchhikers comfortable, Ed started looking for a girlfriend. Well, not really, he just wanted to fuck severed heads. Ed went on to become a fierce advocate of thot patrol. | |||
[[File:5656584 f260.jpg|thumb|right|Ed's very own collection of girlfriends.]] | |||
==Victims== | |||
*August 27, 1964 (paternal grandmother) | |||
*Edmund Emil Kemper, Sr. – August 27, 1964 (paternal grandfather) | |||
*Mary Anne Pesce – May 7, 1972 (co-ed student ) | |||
*Anita Luchessa – May 7, 1972 (co-ed student) | |||
*Aiko Koo – September 14, 1972 (co-ed student) | |||
*Cindy Schall – January 8, 1973 (co-ed student) | |||
*Rosalind Thorpe – February 5, 1973 (co-ed student) | |||
*Alice Liu – February 5, 1973 (co-ed student) | |||
*Clarnell Strandberg – April 21, 1973 (mother) | |||
*Sally Hallett – April 21, 1973 (mother’s friend) | |||
{{Psychopaths}} | |||
{{dying alone}} | |||
Latest revision as of 09:57, 6 September 2021
|
This article needs moar everything. You can help by adding moar everything. |
Edmund "Big Ed" Kemper is an American Serial killer, Wannabe cop, And Tall ass Kike. Before being rudely imprisoned, he enjoyed long, quiet drives, helping young female hitchhikers, spending time with his mother and cooking. Standing at the impressive height of 6'9", college girls absolutely adored him.
His IQ was tested at 145; which explains how he got into the panties of so many co-eds in the 70s. Or maybe it was his glasses, his deep baritone voice and his unfailing respect for women.
Ed wasn't always such a stud; in fact, throughout his childhood, he terrified nearly every member of the opposite sex. Including his sainted Mother, Clarnell. When he was still in elementary school,he was not allowed to sleep upstairs with his mother or his sisters, instead, he was banished to the basement, in case he decided to ræp one or all of them.
As Ed grew into a teenager, he decided that he didn't like his Mother very much, and decided to go live with his Dad. Poor Ed; his Dad had remarried, and just wanted Ed's giant ass out of his house. So at the tender, sweet, age of 15, Ed was sent to live with his elderly grandparents. He was soon tired of his grandmother, so he shot her twice,then continued stabbing her,until the old bitch lay dead in her kitchen. When his grandpa came home, he then shot his ass dead too.
Ed was then sent to a nice, comfy mental institution. Being only 15, he was able to make friends with all of the incompetent psychiatrists. He was given the job of helping with the diagnostic tests, and by the age of 21, he was able to completely mind fuck the idiotic mental health "professionals" into believing he had been completely rehabilitated.
After being released at age 21, he was sent back to live with his mother, even though the psychiatrists had insisted that if he were to live with her again, he'd definitely start killing all over again. Surprise! They were right for once.
Ed started cruising the college campus where his Mom worked, picking up hitchhikers and anyone who would get into his car.
After perfecting his craft of making hitchhikers comfortable, Ed started looking for a girlfriend. Well, not really, he just wanted to fuck severed heads. Ed went on to become a fierce advocate of thot patrol.
Victims
- August 27, 1964 (paternal grandmother)
- Edmund Emil Kemper, Sr. – August 27, 1964 (paternal grandfather)
- Mary Anne Pesce – May 7, 1972 (co-ed student )
- Anita Luchessa – May 7, 1972 (co-ed student)
- Aiko Koo – September 14, 1972 (co-ed student)
- Cindy Schall – January 8, 1973 (co-ed student)
- Rosalind Thorpe – February 5, 1973 (co-ed student)
- Alice Liu – February 5, 1973 (co-ed student)
- Clarnell Strandberg – April 21, 1973 (mother)
- Sally Hallett – April 21, 1973 (mother’s friend)
