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Tommy Davis: Difference between revisions
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Specializing in fucking things up, misspeaking and generally causing problems and huge embarrassment for $cientology, Tommy Davis, born Ibrahim Goldberg (aka Footbullet Man), is the son of Anne Archer and a member of the elite Scientology "Press Team" from the Office of Special Affairs. It is believed that Tommy contributes more to the discrediting and destruction of $cientology than anyone in Chanology or Anonymous ever could. It is rumored that $cientology is seeking compensation from the manufacturers of the downlink auto vocalization bus fitted to Tommy, which displayed several runtime errors during his last reanimation, causing what the organization called 'A PR Flap.' A spokesman for Cyberdyne Systems, designers of the bus, has said that the glitches in the Davis unit came from his organic components, rather than the implant.
Dox
In the past Tommy has brought the world such classics as BBC Panorama: $cientology and me in which he proclaimed his love of children and cats (but not mudkips). Once Tommy was done fucking up with the handling of the BBC, OSA boss Mike Rinder fled the country (and later the cult) as the impact the shit-storm Tommy unleashed on $cientology was so great.
For the last several months Tommy has been a resident of $cientology's RPF, a gay mens' bathhouse and spa for the rehabilitation of sexual libidos towards young boys and men. Tommy Davis takes it in the pooper from Garry Scarff. Recently, Tommy was sprung from the RPF to handle Anonymous and Chanology, David Miscavige should really have known that all he should expect was epic fail so great that Tommy would be put onto motivational posters and attempted to be forced as a meme by moralfags within two hours of the interview airing, as enturbulation users decided that they finally had a reason to leave their hugbox forum and /b/oldy /b/ound into the /b/ordello that is /b/.
Rather surprisingly, the reaction of this influx was not greeted with the usual protests of GTFO from /b/tards. The wealth of amusing potential shoops of Tommy and general hilarity at his epic level of fail, combined with CNN Presenter John Roberts's insistence that Tommy STFU about imaginary threats and start talking about the involvement of parasitic aliens in the cult's doctrine, meant that little Tommy of OSA has achieved the seemingly impossible task of uniting the warring factions of Anonymous days before the May Protest. THX MR DAVIS!!!!
- Tommy will never be there at the start of the interviews.
- Tommy's e-meter reading is off the charts.
- Tommy's current location is unknown, but it's probably on the receiving end of a Midget Fist Enema.
- Whilst Anonymous laughed at the latest PR fail, the Village Voice actually did something productive and
wrote a serious article critiquing his performance on CNNmade fun of him and Scientology in General
—Village Voice |
Tommy's Fail : A Great Service to Chanology
CNN Interview : May 7th 2008
Tommy appeared on CNN with John Roberts an interviewer who will take NO SHIT from anyone, especially some faggot who believes in Alien Genocide.
- Below you can watch Tommy in action, doing what he does best - imitating the keystone cops of Public Relations.
|
—A review of his performance courtesy alt.religion.scientology |
UPDATELINE: Anonymous
Tommy yet again delivered powerful lulz; perhaps even greater than his CNN dipshittery. In an investigation done by KESQ-TV's Nathan Baca, Tommy was presented with a laundry list of LRH insanity that Scilons are programmed to read as null until they pay for software upgrades. Confronted by Hubbards' space madness, the freewheel pneumonia killswitch and razor-spiked U-R-MY-NIGGER fences Tommy kept his cool, and then he fucked the duck. Starting off he admitted scifags pedal propaganda. He shortly thereafter expressed his love for the RPF by Confirming the existence of Xenu he then pointed out that spikes face toward the compound just because they were installed that way. Finally he went "Xenu? NO_U." and proceeded to empty an AK-47 clip into his L.A. gears.
Click the following link to see all the steamy Newscaster-on-Placentafag Pwnrape.
At 1:49, when the reporter reads a copy of OTIII to Tommy, he then tells the reporter that he's "familiar with the material."
It is delicious Tommy.
Tommy does Nightline
With Xenu and Scifags now the hippest trend; Tommy now had the honor of having his ass handed to him by a National News TV anchor. Gave some lulz, and promptly pussied out.
Hubbard deal with reality tech in action.
Classic Footbullets
—Tommy talks about OSA Black Operations |
—Tommy |
—Tommy talks about ReligiousFreedomWatch.org |
—CNN |
—Tommy disagreeing with what Scientology argued in California Supreme Court AND the Court of Appeals was their Constitutionally protected "Religious Practice" |
—Tommy being confused |
—Tommy |
—Tommy in Rolling Stone[1] |
—Tommy on L. Ron Hubbard |
Other clips of Tommy Davis footbullets
- Message to Tommy Davis + New Today Show footage.
- Panorama - Scientology and Me lulz
- Panorama - Scientology and Me moar lulz
- Panorama - Scientology and Me even moar lulz
- Footbullet Man gets debunked
- KESQ-TV tl;dr interview
Tommy's Tattoo
Recently Dallas, the husband of Jenna Miscavige decided that as "Tommy has taken it on himself to work on
destroying my family behind my back, yet refuses to confront or even talk to me or Jenna" - he thought that he would troll him via ESK, by telling the internet about Tommy's sailor's tattoo.
—CoS being anal about copyright |
To Tommy D
Champion of Chanology.
Gallery of Fail
-
Tommy Davis: A
little bitlot creepy -
Cult twitch
-
om nom nom, yummy RPF foodz
-
The wonders of RPF
-
looking ill
-
Imma chargin' ma Sweeny!