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<center>[[File:Kaiglory.jpg|500px]]</center><br>
{{gotis}}
<center>[[file:kaititle.gif]]<br>[[File:Kaiglory.jpg|450px]]</center><br>


[[File:Foreverkailyn.jpg‎ |200px|thumb|right|Hello Every-juaaan!]]  '''"ForeverKailyn" AKA Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes''' (or Kai, KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn and other associated names) is a 23-year-old  [[fail|self-proclaimed YouTube Beauty Guru, Socialite and Makeup Artist]] from Bowie, Maryland.
[[File:Kailynlipstickface.jpg‎ |200px|thumb|left|Hello Everyjuaaan!]]  ''' "ForeverKailyn" ''' (now [http://www.youtube.com/user/MsKailynMarie MsKailynMarie]) aka '''Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes''' <small>(fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn)</small> is an obese, lazy, white trash socialite and self-proclaimed Youtube beauty guru from [[Chernobyl|Bowie, Maryland]]. Kailyn has been shitting out Youtube videos [[No life|since 2007]]. She [[fact|currently holds the world record]] for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to her soul mate, [[Chris Chan]].


In actuality, she is a shit-talker, as well as a fabulous source of entertainment, endless scandals, and drama. She's also a fat, lazy unemployed cunt who [[OH WOW|still lives in her childhood bedroom despite being married and pregnant]]. Kailyn has had multiple sites dedicated to her, her trolls, and her numerous mishaps.
The most notoriety Kai has ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's ''Best Week Ever'' blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on [[drag queen|Willam's]] Beatdown: Episode 9.
<Br><br>
<s>As of February 2014, Kailyn has [[delete fucking everything|gone into hiding]] after her most recent [[rape|scandal]].</s>


In addition to being [[homeschooling|"home-schooled"]] and heavily sheltered by her dip-fucking-shit mother, it is speculated that Queen Kai suffers from [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]], although she claims she is not disabled. However, her lack of basic social skills, reasoning skills, reading ability and lack of common sense say otherwise. She has admitted to being tested in her younger years. It is speculated that her mother hides her condition from Kailyn herself, which is why Kailyn denies it when asked.
On March 2, 2014, Kailyn's newest Youtube channel, mskailynmarie, was suspended for violations.  She has since privated her vlog channel, Kailyn vlogs.  When asked about what happened, she of course said "Someone was able to get my account suspended.  I'm not sure how or why.  I didn't do anything wrong." Unfortunately, it was only a 24-hour suspension and she is back.  She gives a cockroach a run for its money.  She would probably survive a nuclear blast.
<br><br>
<center>
{{frame|{{morphquote|mqtest3|background-color: white; width: 600px; height: 200px;|font-weight: bold;
|Even the president makes mistakes|Kai, coming back from one of her [[Camwhoring|scandals]]
|I don't have a disability ass|Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes
|This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.|Trying to pronounce Taj Mahal
|People go off their diet on the weekend|Stuffing her face on BlogTV
|I have peroid dummy|Trying to be the [[ESL|baddest bitch]] while refuting pregnancy rumors
|It smells like... Paris amour.|[[lel|Accurately]] describing the fragrance notes in Paris Amour
|This is pink slice|Attempting to say Pinksickle
|I don't have gentle herpes.|ForeverKailyn
|This is rosebud slave|Pronouncing rosebud salve
|Sanba? Samba?|Pronouncing scuba
|Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)|Before she spent [[Welfare|$1000]] over 3 months on drugstore make-up for herself
|Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not|ForeverDelusional
|I need to be respons...ibilities|ForeverResponsible
}}|
border=pink|background=white}}
</center>


As of February 2014, Kailyn has [[delete fucking everything|gone into hiding]] after she and her [[My Husband|husband]] were accused of [[surprise sex|rape]].


<center>{{morphquote|mqtest1|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|I have no disability ass|'''Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes'''|This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.|'''ForeverKailyn trying to pronounce NARS Taj Mahal blush'''|Everyone gives up their diet on the weekend.|'''ForeverKailyn on BlogTV'''|I have peroid dummy|'''ForeverKailyn, on her period'''|I have so many stuff!|'''ForeverKailyn'''|It smells like... Paris amour.|'''ForeverKailyn describing the Paris Amour candle scent'''|This is pink slice|'''ForeverKailyn attempting to say Pinksickle'''|I don't have gentle herpes.|'''ForeverKailyn'''|This is rosebud slave|'''ForeverKailyn pronouncing "rosebud salve"'''|Sanba? Samba?|''ForeverKailyn pronouncing "scuba"'''|Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)|'''ForeverKailyn, before she spent $1000 over 3 months on useless make-up for herself'''|Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not|'''ForeverDelusional'''|I need to be respons...ibilities|'''ForeverResponsible'''|border=white|background=white}}</center>
== Personal Life & Family ==
[[Image:XRH83.jpg|thumb|left|Meet the Wilchers]]


== The Beginning: KaiKhaod, KailynsKreations ==
[[Asperger's Syndrome|Disability ass]] demon '''Kailyn Marie Wilcher''' <small>(aka Kai ("''k-eye''"), Kailyn Kardashian, ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaivman, Gorilla, [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|FAS rere]], Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) </small> was hatched on May 18th 1990 to '''Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher''' <small>(aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) </small> and dirty [[Spics|beaner]] '''Michael Wilcher''' <small>(aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher, Papa Wheelie)</small>.  
[[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome|FAS]]lyn started out on YouTube in 2007, during the glory days of the YouTube beauty community. She was a fan of so-called "beauty gurus" like xsparkage, and wanted to be just like them. With a twinkle in her MAC-decorated eye, she made her appearance with a beautiful mullet cut and her first face routine video. Notice how it takes her 9 fucking minutes to apply foundation? Nothing has changed since 2007, including her narcissistic tendency to stare at herself in the mirror...while on camera. If there is anything amazing about Kai, it would be her complete inability to improve her makeup skills, even after years of daily practice.
It is believed that Kailyn was born with [[Fetal Alcohol Syndrome]] and [[Asperger's Syndrome]] which has given her a lulzy speech impediment, a compulsive [[mouth breather|giggle exhale]], retard induced [[bitch|cuntiness]], and a fuck load of [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|narcissism]]. Kai's parents are "separated" yet live together, and it's alleged that Papa Wheelie and his two fat mutts moved back to the Beige Mansion because he couldn't afford to live on his own while continuing to support the Wilcher ladies. Kai lives as a [[Basement-dweller|"stay-at-home daughter"]] at the Beige Mansion in Bowie (aka Booie), which is decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor (including revolving Christmas tree), and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: [[poor|paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups]].
[[File:FASevolution.jpg|thumb|right|FAS evolution]]
As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato was retarded and deformed, Kai was [[garbage|doomed forever]]. Mama Wilsher enrolled her little shit-for-brains in various elementary schools before pulling her out of [[special education|retard classes]], using the excuse that the DC Sniper was on the loose, or so she reasoned. Instead of mainstream classes, MW [[school|homeschooled]] Kai at '''The Sunflower Academy''' (aka the kitchen table). Homeschooling enabled Kai to rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her bedroom (formally Pink Dungeon) while Mama did all of Kai’s homework/worksheets, which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her [[enabler|moron of a mother]], Kai claims she has never been told she has any disabilities, even though she has a [http://imgur.com/a/UDNs4 hockey-stick palmar crease], a symptom unique to only those with FAS, and admits she was thoroughly retard-tested as a small [[children|demon]].  


KaiKaod was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynKreations, which was subsequently rage-deleted when new scandals emerged.
Lisa [[A Game of Pretend|works]] from home in a makeshift salon converted from their garage, '''[http://www.yellowpages.com/bowie-md/mip/lisas-hair-shanty-466364411 Lisa's Hair Shanty]''', doing old lady perms twice a week for the neighborhood hags while getting [[drunk|inebriated]]. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, [[idiot|enabling]] mother is her best friend, but in [[irl|reality]] she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.
 
To support his [[retard|pride and joy]], Michael doles out his hard earned pension dollars to the Wilcher ladies every month, formerly working for a courthouse cleaning air vents and polishing floors.
 
Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle '''Stephen E. Sokoloski''' <small>(aka Uncle-daddy Stephen, Uncle Acne)</small>; his wife and Kai's archenemy; her 8 year old cousin, '''Eli''' (who all live with granny, '''Dorothy Sokoloski'''). Her grandfather, '''Stephen R. Sokoloski''', [[AIDS|passed away]] at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling and cam girl scandal. She's proud to say that when he passed, she didn't even cry.
 
The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for [[incest|giving her]] [[acne|pizza face]] genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being an [[fat|obese walrus]]. [[File:Kailips.jpg|thumb|right|HAYYYY GUYTH!]]
 
<br><br>
==== Diet, Hygiene & Weight Gain ====
Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower (they are buh-roken) and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, [[enabler|Mama Alchy]] hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from [[Stinkrat|stinking up]] the mansion too much.
[[File:Greasy hair day 13.jpg|thumb|right|Seriously greasy bangs!]]
 
Kailyn's diet mainly consists of ranch dressing with the occasional baby carrot or pretzel crithspth.  She eats salad with everything but lettuce, because she's not sure if it's even "eatable".  Her favorite meal is clucks and fries, and she'll even resort to ordering off the kid's menu if the restaurant she's at doesn't feature chicken fingers on it s big gurl menu.  Speaking of restaurants, her favorites are Red Robin, The Cheesecake Factory (for special occasions, like her birthday), and Grotto's The Legendary Taste® (for Mama W's birthday).  But fuck Papa W's birthday, he's just there to pay for everything. <br>
 
<center>[[File:wtfsaladew.jpg]]<br>
I have no idea wtf it is either<br>
 
<small>'''[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0 SEE IMGUR ALBUM OF THE KWEEN’S FAVORITE FOODS.]'''</small></center><br>
 
In case it hasn't been obvious, our FAS kween has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the Pretty Ladies comment on the [[whale|obese whale]]'s weight, and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the PLs estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and as of early 2017, are convinced [[fact|she's well over 250 lbs]]. She now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers, all of which MW's magic mirror can no longer hide.[[File:Kaiweight.png|thumb|left|…Damn, girl, PUT THE FORK DOWN!]]
<br><br><br>
 
 
<br><br>
 
=== Friends (Or Lack Thereof)===
Besides [[You Don't Have Any Friends|superficial friendships]] with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend who is no longer her friend because she's a [[nigger|darkie]].  Kai gushed on YT about having a friend who sent her a necklace that says "you're my person", but the PLs are convinced her only real friend is [[Amazon|Amy Zon]].  Her penpals don't count, because there's no way to confirm how many of them are real, and how many are actually haydurs.  Occasionally, Kai will elude to going out "with a friend" but it can only be deduced that it's MW or the latest [[neckbeard|CPW (car/penis/wallet)]].
<br><BR>
=== Bella ===
Lisa bought Kai her one and only true [[bestiality|best friend]], Bella, a [[retard|derpy]] [[dog|mutt]] sold to them for thousands of dollars [[trolling irl|under the guise]] of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would [[fuck|love]] Bella even if she was a [[Mr. Hands|horse]]". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion (because she never gets to go outside) she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the [[genocide|fart wars]] in the Lavender Dungeon, or holed up inhaling fumes in The Shanty. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her [[inhalants|"act silly"]]. Recent information has surfaced that Bella has never been registered with their local municipality.  This makes one wonder if this dog has ever seen a veterinarian or been vaccinated.  We know that Lisa 'grooms' the dog, which could only mean she's never been professionally groomed.


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Face Routine: Kai's First Video'''</big></center><br>
|<center><big>'''Animal Abuse'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>kChjXc6wh1c</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>ljmTzz2mm0c</youtube></center>
|}
|}
<br><BR>


== The YouTube Sensation: ForeverKailyn, SincerelyKailyn ==
=== David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011) ===
[[File:Kakateeth1.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[Image:Fr7sO.jpg‎|thumb|right|]]
'''David''' <small>(aka Davit)</small> was Kai's first true love. They started dating when Kai was just a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is (was) a sickly fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship, Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up [[abortion|aborting]] the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline, including [[cam whore|camming]], shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a [[gay|3-some]] with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for [[tranny|trannies]] and [[dykes]] to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on ''BlogTV'' to appease the trolls telling her to do it for the [[lulz|lulz]], and soon after the relationship ended for good.<br>


=== ForeverKailyn (Currently Deleted) ===
Kailyn's latest and greatest channel. Despite years of making beauty videos, she has only reached a sad high of nearly 13,000 subscribers when she [[deleted fucking everything]] in February 2014. Her average videos received 1000-3000 views. She disabled ratings because she couldn't handle all the dislikes she would get, and theorized that a handful of "haters" were creating 50+ accounts each just to downvote her videos.


==== Kailyn's Kontent: ====
<center>[[File:kaitrans.png]]</center><br>
* annoying video intros with her dead-inside sociopath eyes looking at you "HAYYYY GUUUUUYSSSS"
* haul after haul of cheap, shitty drugstore makeup to add to her hoard
* purchases of products she already owns duplicates of
* reviews of products she begged companies to send her for free
* a showcase of her aversion to anything flattering
* ill-fitting, out-of-breath OOTDs (Outfit of the Day) with Walmart, Target and Kohl's clothes
* Kai applying makeup just to sit inside, diddle herself and watch ''General Hospital''


==== What you will never see on ForeverKailyn: ====
* skilled makeup application or how-tos, tricks or tips
* hauls of interesting, higher end makeup that every fucking guru doesn't already have


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Tutorial: Red Vampy Makeup'''</big></center><br>
|<center><big>'''Kai's Big Party'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>MoCdxE112_o</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>UfjdywN9Wss</youtube></center>
|}
 
 
After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an [[Victim complex|innocent victim]], she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.
{{align|center|'''Kailyn Spilling the Beans'''  &  '''David's Response'''}}
<br>
<center><youtube>YhhkSn4GU68</youtube>  <youtube>ADYiYkOatrQ</youtube></center>
<br><br>
 
<center>[[File:davidsexplanation.png]]<br>
David explains it all</center><br>
 
 
<center><big>'''David Has Passed Away'''</big></center><br>
 
Tragically, David passed away in early July of 2015.  When Kailyn found out about this she, of course, made it all about her by immediately posting old photos of them together (mostly inappropriate ones, such as her in a bikini) and talked about how they had all their 'firsts' together (wink).  She immediately began stalking all David's Facebook friends in order to gets the deets on his death, and to find out when the funeral was and cop a ride (because surely Lisa wasn't going to take her).  The day after the funeral, she posted her 'funeral makeup' and a 'funeral selfie' with a friend (who was really trolling her by standing with Kailyn's infamous leg pop/hand on hip pose), in both of which she was grinning.  On the selfie, she even posted the caption "we look fab" with a backdrop of the funeral home and hearse.  This 'friend' specifically asked that Kailyn NOT post the picture on social media, but Kailyn being Kailyn, ignored this person's request and posted it anyway because she is a sociopath and doesn't care about other people's feelings.  Needless to say, her behavior during this sad event was inappropriate and put another strain on her already sham of a marriage.  Matt was NOT happy.  BTW, she didn't cry when Davit died either.
[[File:KailynTalksDavid.jpg|thumb|left]]
[[File:KailynFuneralSelfie.jpg|thumb|right|Funeral Selfie]]
[[File:KailynFuneralMakeup.png|thumb|center]]
<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>
<center><big>'''She even looked up his birth flower as an idea for a new tattoo.'''</big></center><br>
[[File:KailynDavidTattoo.png|center]]
 
=== Matt (Husband, 2011-2016) ===
[[File:Kaicartoon1.jpg|thumb|© MoarFail Cartoon Lady, 2011-2012. We miss you gurl. |right]]
[[File:Mattliftskai.jpg|thumb|Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow.|left]]
 
'''Matthew Todd Hughes''' <small>(aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby)</small> is a [[redneck|fat, dough-faced, retarded]] fag loving piece of white trash living in Maryland's "country" who formerly worked as a cart-pusher at [[wal-mart|Wallyworld]]. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on [[Plenty of Fish|Plenty of Fish]] while he was still dating [[nigger|Maureen Lewis]]. As usual, Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.
 
On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulzy wedding bells were heard across Maryland State. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the [[white trash|elegant St. Mary's County courthouse]]. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from [[poor|Kohl's]], while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a vintage McDonald's Manager's uniform.  None of the Wilchers or Hughes were in attendance.
<br><br>
 
It wasn't long before Madd began showing signs of mental illness, no doubt bought on by the fact that he was married to Kailyn Wilcher.  In a state of sheer lunacy, Matt locked himself in the Wilcher's bathroom and threatened to drown himself in a tub full of hot water.
 
<center>{{Template:Bigred|NIGGER ALERT}}</center>
==== Mooren ====
 
[[File:Craigslistpost_(1).jpg|thumb|left|The torn lovers]]


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
'''[[I'm rich and I'm beautiful|Maureen Elizabeth Lewis]]'''<small> (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, [[Nigger]], Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) </small> was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a [[batshit insane]] inbred welfare [[nigger]] with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a [[Asperger's Syndrome|lulzy speech impediment]]. Momo is a product of her father and aunt’s [[incest|sexual affair]], and was living in a cockroach infested trailer with her rapist father, Elmore Lewis, before he went to prison.
|<center><big>'''ForeverKailyn OOTD'''</big></center><br>
Matt [[lies|denied knowing]] the wild [[Nigger|ape]], but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2430fkt30][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcDzncYLEc8]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy [[internet stalking|obsessed stalking]] ensued.
<center><youtube>k7hTs5s2VCg</youtube></center>
 
{{quote|weally, madd? weally? ...weally?|Maureen Lewis|stalking Madd}}
[[File:TypicalMaureen.png|center|]]
<br>


=== SincerelyKailyn (Currently Deleted) ===
Mooren found forums and blogs [[internets|online]] dedicated to trolling the FAS Kween and started [[Infotainment|posting dirt]] on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally [[Don't feed the trolls|filmed her encounter]] [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODevMrvK85k] with her ex, Matt. The [[crazy]] nignog has since slowed her antics, but continues to peruse the forums in order to keep up with her successor.  
The SincerelyKailyn channel was created after Kailyn's main channel's ad revenue was suspended for violating Google AdWords' user agreement. Kailyn, being the [[idiot|genius]] she is, probably thought that constantly clicking on her own ads was going to make her more money.
<Br><br>
These days, trolls will only [[bait]] Mooren for the lulz as she is now in her own [[psychopath|delusional competition]] with the Kween and is desperate to get impregnated by a [[Neckbeard|POF sperm whale]]*.
In Mooren’s freetime, she <s>learns how to play guitar</s> steals other people’s shitty guitar covers and sings over them. Some of her [[Earrape|better songs]] have been turned into music videos based on the Booie socialites’ love triangle via the Kween’s trolls and [[The Sims|Sims]] characters. [http://youtu.be/JwKiqeKbpPs] [http://youtu.be/sgnlDtyGcAM]
<br><br>


SincerelyKailyn was likely made with Mama Wheelchair's info, to get around the suspension and earn Kai some pennies. She began to post food vlogs, showing off her favorite snacks and demonstrating the metric fuck-ton sugar she likes in her cup of coffee. She also offered insight into her personal life with videos of her and hubby Matt "hurr hurr"-ing around town, mostly at Walmart or in his bedroom. After her pregnancy was announced, she began posting pregnancy updates. By far the most tedious videos on this channel were her tag videos.
*Mooren has succeeded in marrying her own fat retard and having her own deformed baby. Congrats!


<center><youtube>gKhkowmSyq0</youtube></center><br />{{squote|I'm just gonna try one...scoop...[of sugar]|'''ForeverKailyn, adding 1/4 cup of sugar'''}}
== Married Life (2012-2016) ==
[[Image:IUcvt.jpg|thumb|Lookin' tho thtunnin' on her weddin' day|left]]
[[File:Lumpyass.jpg|thumb|right|honeymoon at the local lake]]
As of 2014, Kai and Madd [[forever alone|lived separately]] with their parents. Kai continued to live with in the beige mansion with her [[Concerned Mother|caregiver]] in Bowie while Matt lived with his [[white trash]] parents, '''Mary C. Hughes''' and '''Todd D. Hughes''' and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, '''Amber''', in Leonardtown--with occasional vacations at local psychiatric hospitals. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but quickly realized his wife was a hideous beast and scaled back his visits to once a month in order to [[Sex In Christ|be "downgraded" and humiliated over his small penis]].  
<br><BR>
When the PLs confronted her about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt [[bullshit|lived with her]] in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after PLs found her uploading to [[instagram|instagram]] with geotags in Madd's location. It was clear that in the beginning, Matt believed Kai was [[internet celebrity|internet famous]] and thought he would get [[no|worshipped]], but the haydurs have since driven him off the internets. Soon after this revelation, Matt began controlling Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.


<center><youtube>zAaxn2DJf_U</youtube></center><br />{{squote|Our life is not that exciting!|'''Kailyn and Matt, like no shit'''}}
=== Rape Accusations ===
[[File:kaiexcuse.jpg|thumb|alt=Puzzle globe logo|MW's ghostwriting|right]]


== Kai's Supporting Cast ==
On October 2, 2013, well prior to their divorce, Kailyn and Matt sexually assaulted their friend ''A''. In February, the scandal was announced to the PLs after a PL [[raid|pretending to be a stan]] baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the assault herself, saying that ''A'' was "too drunk to chew her food", and that she and hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning ("it was thcary!"). The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a [[bullshit|"misunderstanding"]]. After realizing she had managed to turn even the most [[politically correct]], [[social justice]] communities against her, she [[delete fucking everything|deleted everything]].  In Kai's world, deleting = it never happened.<br>


=== Family ===
<center>[[File:kairape.jpg]]<br>
[[Image:XRH83.jpg|thumb|right|Meet the Wilchers]]Kailyn was born to Lisa Wilcher (previously Lisa Sokoloski, also known as Mama Wheelchair) and Michael Wilcher, who looks like fuckin' Bugs Bunny. Her parents are separated [[lazy|but not divorced]]. Kai claims they are still friends, although it appears she only sees her father on Father's Day and Christmas. Papa Wilcher is a qualified electrician working a government job and financially supports Kailyn and her mother.
Uh huh, sure <s>Lisa</s> Kai</center><br>


Lisa runs a hair salon in her basement called 'Lisa's Hair Shanty' and "works" two days a week. She and Kai live a stress-free, job-free life subsidized by Papa Wilcher. While Kailyn says that she and her mother are close, like "best friends", this just seems to mean that her mother pays for everything, watches TV with her, washes her hair, heats up sweet and sour canned chicken in the microwave for her, gives her rides to go shopping, and occasionally ghostwrites for Kai to get her out of trouble. They eat their food off paper plates and use plastic cups as they are too lazy to wash dishes.
=== Prennicy (2013) ===
[[File:Kaibump.jpg|thumb|right|She's not showing yet.]]


Kailyn's extended family include her grandmother Dorothy Sokoloski who lives on the street over from the Wilcher's residence. Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, [[AIDS|passed away]] in 2007. Her maternal grandmother has a [[trailer|beach house]] in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware.  
The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having long been a [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|useless waste of space]], decided it would be a great idea to get pregnant. Afterall, how else would she get away with not having to work and continue to collect SSDI for the next 18 years?  Luckily, the Sokoloski women have a multigenerational cycle they have mastered to lock down financial income, called the ''Sokoloski Cycle'':
<Br><br>
Step 1: get [[married|hitched]] quickly
<br>
Step 2: get [[pregnant|knocked up]] instantly
<br>
Step 3: separate from your husband
<Br>
Step 4: demand money “''for the child''”
<br><br>
Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 was smart enough to [[genocide|abort itself]] in March of 2013. However, have no fear--in October 2013---our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 (presumably on the night of the aforementioned rape).  Kai is currently expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be [[welfare|government leech]] while she continues to purchase hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month.
<br><br>
<center><gallery>
File:Mermaidsyndrome kai.png|Mermaid Syndrome?
File:Mouthbreather kaifetus.jpg ‎|already mouth breathing like Mama
File:Anatomyscan kaifetus.jpg|it’s supposed to be pointing at a vagina, go ahead and figure the rest out (Dr.Trolling, OB/GYN)
</gallery> </center>
<Br>
Our Kween was thrilled to find that she would be having a girl to add to the ''Sokoloski Cycle''. Surprising absolutely no one, the mini [[baby|slack-jawed demon]]  has already proven to be an incompetent [[retard|little retard]] after Kai announced that her doctor had a really difficult time measuring the fetus’ nuchal translucency, which is the first common sign of [[downs|Down’s]]. Whether the mini demon will be a retard because hubby [[Falcon Punch|punched]] Kai in the stomach (needs citation), Kai was [[Christian|drinking while trying to conceive]] or because it will be coming from two long lines of brainless morons, little [[retard|rere]] demon '''Gracie Marie Wilcher-Hughes''' will make its debut in the world, dead or alive, in July 2014.


Kai claims she [[incest|inherited her acne from her uncle]], Stephen E. Sokoloski, who still lives with his mother.
<Br>


=== Bella ===
Despite having no real friends, Mama Alchy held two baby showers for the spoiled brat; one at the in-laws [[church|Callaway Baptist Church]] with a bunch of strangers, and the other in their Booie home. To fill up space, Lisa <s>paid off</s> invited Kai's childhood friends that hadn't seen her in years and barely remembered the fassy retard who would wave at them in the school bus as it drove off without her.
Lisa bought Kailyn a [[dog]] so she could have a [[bestiality|friend]] to [[cunnilingus|play with]]. They [[still a retard|paid thousands of dollars]] for what they thought was a purebred Yorkie. When Bella got older it became clear she was a mutt. Kailyn claims she "would [[fuck|love]] Bella even if she was a [[horse cock|horse]]."


Kailyn has an [[Animal abuse|interesting definition]] of love as Bella has been horribly abused her entire life. She spends most of her time locked inside a pink cage in Kai's bedroom and shits on puppy pads because Kai is too lazy to walk her. During a [[BlogTV]] broadcast, Kai sprayed air freshener in Bella's face to make her [[inhalants|"act silly"]].
<br>


It is believed that the Kween suffered from multiple health problems during her pregnancy (which she vehemently denied, even though she couldn't *giggle exhale* without sounding like a dying fish out of water). She gained a large amount of weight, and it was suspected that Gestational Diabetes was a cause. Kai admitted to having "hardly hypertension" in the months after the birth, along with issues with her juan layg.
<br><br>
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Animal Abuse'''</big></center><br>
|<center><big>'''Pregnancy Vlog Sample'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>ljmTzz2mm0c</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>jkTECfSaAAA</youtube></center>
|}
|}
<br>
=== Gracie Marie Hughes ===
Kai gave birth to her crotch spawn Gwathee Mawee Hughes on June 28th, 2014, via C-section as per her fist-pounding request to her doctor. Gracie had a bowel blockage in the womb, and underwent emergency surgery after birth, spending her first week of life in the NICU. During this time, BBgorilla sat at home on her acne-ridden ass, stuffing her face with ranch-dipped veggie crithphth while keeping the health of her baby a secret. She did not visit Grace in the hospital. Maltt moved in after Gracie's birth, and he made her keep all pictures of the baby off the interwebs. Kailyn broke her vow of "safety for her baybeh" after the Wilcher pool closed for the summer. Matt's mental health continued to decline, so he took his frogs, his HDTV and his fart ghosts, and moved back in with his parents.
<br>
Many pictures of Guh-racie were then shared on her Instagram, much to the glee of everyone. However, the realization quickly dawned on all that the crotch spawn was being neglected. A flat head due to lying on her back in a cot all day, severely delayed development, and 4 day old poop pants were just some of the things the haydurs called Kai out on, but their comments were quickly deleted. Much of Kai's Instagram consisted of videos featuring herself and Grace, with the kween yelling "SAAAAAAAY HIIIII, GWATHIEEEEEE SAYYYY HIIIIIIII", even though she was only 6 months old, and telling Grace what a cute puppy she was. It has been speculated that Gwathee may have Down's Syndrome, but this has yet to be confirmed.
<br>
Throughout this time, Kai continued to spend her <s>$600 monthly govmint check</s> money that magically appears in her bank account on makeup and clothes, but never food or clothing for her spawn. Gracie had received many items of clothing at the two baby showers and from "internet friends", and yet she was only ever seen in the same 3 or 4 outfits. BBgorilla never took baby Gracie anywhere outside the house, and frequently left her at home with Drunky to eat clucks and fries with Maltt at Red Robin. Both Maltt and Kai also spent money during this time building up a collection of shitty scratcher tattoos.
<center>[[File:kaisfoot.jpg]]<br>
Try not to barf</center><br>
The haydurs continued to question Kai about her negligence as the dummy continued to post evidence for all to see. More examples include putting the crotch-spawn in over-sized clothes and gigantic toddler bibs, incorrectly buckling the belt in the baby's car seat (on the rare occasion Gracie got to leave the house), and the fact that Gwathee still was unable to crawl properly at 9 months. So Kaikai rage-deleted all of the pictures of Guac from her Insta in March 2015. Hope was fading, as Mama Wheelchair told the hambeast in her alcohol-ridden rage that "Gracie will have a stupid life," if things continued at the rate they were going. With Maltt's mental issues, Gracie's specialness, MamaW's drinking, and the continuous questioning from the haydurs, it all became too much for BB. She cracked, and rage-deleted her entire Instagram account on the 10th April, 2015.
<br><br>
Update:  Nothing has changed except for the fact that Gracie gets more delayed as the days go by.  She has now passed her first birthday, and is still not talking or even making many noises.  She appears to have a type of cranial deformity as evidenced by a noticeable ridge in the middle of her forehead.  She is not enrolled in any Mommy & Me classes (despite Kai's insistance that she would) or even taken to the park, zoo or library.  A swing was installed in the Wilcher's back yard and occasionally Kai will drag her out for photo ops.  Guac's birthday celebration was notable for garish decor, cupcakes and smash cake--which Guac had no idea what to do with.  As expected, the usual cast of characters attended the festivities.  It was the event of the year.......not.  Gracie got gifts.  This included ONE book, titled "Baby's First Words".  Hopefully, both Kailyn and Gracie will study this carefully and learn to speak properly, though I don't think Kailyn has opened any of the handful of books that Gracie has received.
<br><br>
Update August 14, 2016:  Gracie has miraculously survived two full years in the Beige Mansion.  She recently went to her 2-year well-child checkup and the doctor recommended that if Gracie wasn't talking by 2.5 years, she should have speech therapy (or that is how Kailyn's rere brain interpreted it/Lisa told her).  Videos of the child show that she is clearly speech delayed and needs this NOW, but none of the people in that house give a rat's ass about that kid (Grandpa Silverback is the only one who shows true joy when interacting with Gracie).  Needless to say, she is doomed.
<br><br>
Update January 16, 2017:  Not surprisingly, Gracie is still mute and to date, no speech therapy has been scheduled.  She has not be socialized with other kids her age, nor has she attended any mommy and me typa classes.  It's safe to say that Guac is as much of a shut in as her sister-mom.
<br><br>
Update August 19, 2017:  As you have probably surmised, there has been no significant change in Gracie's condition.  She still does not speak other than babbling incoherently.  She will only speak one or two words to directly mimic her sister-mom when commanded.  It's obvious that the child can't stand her birth mother.  She has told former friends turned Kaigents that Gracie cries and bites herself when Lisa is not with them, obviously because she considers Lisa to be her true mother.  She is over 3 years old and is still not potty trained, still sleeps with a pacifier while napping in her sister-mom's arms (any reason to sit on that fat ass, right Kailyn?) and still not going to any type of preschool. 
She is allegedly getting speech therapy once a month, which is a joke considering what this child really needs to even think about mainstreaming her in any school system.  They will be in for a rude awakening when they take her to her kindergarten evaluation when they're told she's not even close to being ready.  She will no doubt either be placed in some sort of pre-K class/special education class or Lisa will immediately pull her granddaughter from public school and 'home school' her like she did her daughter.  We all know how good that worked out.
== RIP in Pieces Kailyn's Marriage ==
<center>[[File:kaimatt.jpg]]</center><br>
In November, 2014, the truth was finally revealed.  Kailyn could not lie anymore about Matt living with them.  They 'officially' separated that month and divorce papers were filed at Matt's request in December of 2015 (they  needed to be separated for a minimum of one year before they could file).  Of course Kailyn, being the simple rere that she is, had no clue (nor did she care) about what the process entailed and was mostly worried about that the money being spent on her lawyer wasn't being spent on her.  The fist pounds could be heard for miles. The divorce court hearing took place on February 25, 2016.
It was early 2016 when Kai transformed her [[tattoos|Madd tattoo]] into the monstrosity of the black, lacy bow you see above her funbags today.
Update:  The divorce was final as of August 2, 2016 and cost the Wilchers upwards of $5,000, even though no formal visitation schedule, child support or alimony payments were finalized as part of the divorce. It is understood that Kai was bored throughout most of the proceedings and had to undergo a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation to determine just wtf is wrong with the gorilla.  Kailyn did a "My Divorce" video that is full of lies and mistruths (of course).  Now she can start searching....oh wait, she has already been searching...for a new CPW.  For over a year - well before she and Matt were 'officially' separated - Kailyn trolled OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish (among other dating sites) looking for Madd 2.0.


=== Friends ===
==== Hunt for a New Man (or Woman--she's bi, y'all) ====
Besides [[You Don't Have Any Friends|superficial friendships]] with fellow makeup hoarders, Kai has mentioned only a handful of real life friends by name, and most of those friendships have ended because (according to Kailyn) they turned on her. It is far more likely that her friends simply grew tired of associating with someone who only talks about makeup and TV, and makes no attempt at conversation unless it's about herself. Basically, no one wants to be friends with a self-centered, lazy, greedy, manipulative, sex-crazed retard.


Kai used to meet [[dykes|pretty ladies]] on [[Craigslist]] and invite them over to her house to [[scissoring|do each other's makeup]]. Several of them have said that Kai was a [[creepy]] [[rapist|sexual predator]] with severe B.O.  
Recently, she has had several 'coffee dates' at Thtarbucks, where <s>she Uber's</s> her mom drives her to meet her unsuspecting victims.  Of course, she lets them pay for her $6 cup of sugareded bean water (The Wilcher women NEVER pay!).  Not surprisingly, Kai has had many failed dates, including meeting men who told her that she was too fat, too smelly and even one who insulted just about everything about her but still managed to fuck her in the backseat of his hooptie (he was "tho mean"). Needless to say, she never heard from him again.


=== David (Boyfriend from 2006-2011) ===
<center>[[File:fatkaiinsta.jpg]]</center>
[[File:Davitkai.jpg|thumb|Kissy kissy!|left]]David aka "Davit" was Kai's first serious boyfriend. They started dating when she was 15. He liked to party, drink heavily and do recreational drugs. According to Kailyn, he was an asshole, but that might have had something to do with her camming and flirting with other guys behind his back. Throughout their relationship, they experienced many "highs" and lows, like the time a giggling Kailyn publicly dumped David on BlogTV, at the urge of onlookers. David had a circle of friends and would often bring Kailyn along to parties, leaving her to stand awkwardly in a corner by herself as she longingly watched him stuff his face with pizza.


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
Kai was even catfished into sending nudes to some of her prospects who turned out to be Pretty Ladies in disguise. These little setbacks never deter her, because every time no0dz are leaked, she will do some level of rage deleting on her social media accounts (occasionally making a YT video or IG post about how she needs to stop being so trusting of strangers), but then it's back to business as usual.
|<center><big>'''Kai's Big Party'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>UfjdywN9Wss</youtube></center>
|}


Davit has revealed that Kailyn and he [[pity sex|had a threesome]] with a guy nicknamed "Hot Dave". Davit was pissed because Kailyn passionately kissed Hot Dave, something she had never done to him before.
[[File:Kailyn nude1.jpg|thumb|left|Leaked picture]][[File:Kailyn nude2.jpg|thumb|right|Another leaked picture]][[File:Kai rage delete and boohoo session.jpg|thumb|center|Boohoo!]]
<br><br><br>


Kailyn became pregnant when she was around 16-17, and despite being completely unprepared mentally and financially to have a baby, Kailyn wanted to be a mother. Thank goodness Mama Wilcher and Davit talked her into having an abortion.
<br><br>


After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video, owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
[[File:OLg3Pmx.jpg|thumb|center|Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.]]
|<center><big>'''Kailyn Spilling the Beans'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>YhhkSn4GU68</youtube></center>
|}


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
== YouTube ==
|<center><big>'''David's Response'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>3gumMViJljQ</youtube></center>
|}


===KaiKhaod / KailynsKreations (Deleted)===


=== Matt (2011-current, Husband) ===
Kailyn began her YT career with the KaiKhaod (Khaos) channel in 2007, with a misspelled username and the most lulzy [[wtf|wtfery]] to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being [[stoned|high as a motherfucking kite]] which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, [[dyke|xSparkage]], and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.
[[File:Mattliftskai.jpg|thumb|Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow (wife).]]Matthew "Madd" Hughes is a fat, effeminate, doughfaced stupid hick from [[inbred|"the country"]] part of Maryland with a [[retard]] [[fetish]]. He's also Kai's (seemingly estranged) husband. Kailyn met Matt in the fall of 2011 on [[Plenty of Fish]], when he was still dating [[nigger|Maureen]]. Their relationship is beautifully described by Matt as "she's exactly like me, except a girl, hurhurhur." Having found [[desperate|true love]], the two were engaged 3 months later and planned to be married [[lies|at least a year later]]. Good idea, as they barely knew each other. But wedding bells rang on April 13, 2012, just a couple of months after the engagement. Kailyn and Matt were married at the courthouse, without any family or friends to witness the occasion. Kailyn wore a [[poor|cheap dress from Kohl's]] and a plastic tiara while Matt wore a short-sleeved button up from [[Walmart]].  


Matt works part-time at Walmart and [[lies|has been saving up money]] to get an apartment with Kai. It might take another few years, since his priorities are video games, frogs and junk food, but it's certain to happen [[never|some day]].
The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynsKreations, which was also [[baleet|rage-deleted]] when a new scandal emerged.


==== Married Life (2012-current) ====
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
[[Image:IUcvt.jpg|thumb|THE PERFECK WEDDIN|left]] Kai continues to live with her mother in Bowie whilst Matt lives with his parents and sister in Leonardtown. He does his duty and drives down to see Kai once a month for his conjugal visit, treats her to Red Robin, pumpth her puthy fulla thperm while she stays over at his parents' place for a few days before he dumps her back at Mama's Shanty.
|<center><big>'''Face Routine: Kai's First Video'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>kChjXc6wh1c</youtube></center>
|}


In late 2013, Kailyn realized that it's not normal for a married couple to live over an hour apart because it shows how little they actually care about each other. She has since been pretending that Matt has moved in with her, despite the fact that his clothes, video games, or presence have yet to be seen in any pictures or videos. There was a scandal involving Instagram geo-tags, which revealed that photos Kailyn took while claiming to be at the Wilcher's residence with her hubby, were actually taken while she was sleeping over at his parents' place. Despite being called out, she turned off her geo-tags and carried on with the pretense that she and Matt live together.
<br><br>


Matt is terrified of Kai's trolls and wants nothing to do with her Youtube or online drama. Whenever anything in Matt's personal life is brought up by the mean troll ladies, Kai is threatened with divorce and beatings. Matt has to give baby Kai a stern talking to and a warning to keep him out of her online life!
=== ForeverKailyn (Deleted) ===
Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter, was her YT channel "Forever Kailyn". Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and averaging between 1,000-3,000 views per video, it took Kai several years to get to such [[fail|shitty success]]. Kai had her Google [[jew golds|ad revenue]] disabled almost as soon as it was granted on account of the dipshit clicking her own ads in hopes of a bigger paycheck[https://productforums.google.com/forum/#!topic/youtube/z6xAILZmKl8]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and outfits of the day (OOTD) videos. Occasionally, Mama would [[Trolling IRL|forget]] to give Kai her rere meds and Kai would upload videos of her singing and dancing or babbling about nothingness. Rating were always disabled on her channels because [[troll face|the dislikes to likes ratio is always high]].<br>


Kai plans to take Matt's name...one day. Until then, she usually goes by "Kailyn Wilcher", or "Kailyn Marie Hughes" when she's feeling [[forever alone|particularly married]].
<center>[[File:foreverkaibye.png]]</center>


Basically, their marriage is a fucking sham and didn't need to happen. There's no point.
<br>
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Day in the life of an escorted Kween:'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>Yy6VIhuLp2s</youtube></center>
<br>
|}
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Hair Extension Demo:'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>lz-fh7I7MNQ</youtube></center>
|}


==== Maureen ====
=== SincerelyKailyn (Deleted)===


[[Image:Index.jpg|thumb|Hi Maureen|left]]Mooren (Maureen Elizabeth Lewis) first became known after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a [[batshit insane]] mental patient, as evidenced in her obsessive stalking of Kailyn after she and Matt got together. Maureen alleged that she and Matt had been dating for several months, with plans to settle down. Matt insisted that they'd only gone on two dates and barely knew each other. However, Maureen was able to produce text evidence[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj2430fkt30][http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PcDzncYLEc8] that proved she and Matt had been dating for at least 3 months, when he started cheating on her with Kailyn.
Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly [[weblog|vlog]] targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and in the end - pregnancy vlogs which involved reading her pregnancy app on her [[iphone|iphone 4 not 4s]]. As expected, this channel was also rage-deleted.


{{quote|Lol i don't know if i could handle 7 kids lmao but we can start with one tho :) ahh|One of the texts Matt had sent Maureen}}
<center><youtube>gKhkowmSyq0</youtube> <youtube>vr6TnffLFKo</youtube></center>
<Br><BR>


Maureen started harassing Kailyn for many weeks, even logging on to post on the troll forums and sites that had information on Kai. Not long afterwards, she found another obese white whale to love, after failed attempts to seduce Kai's ex David. She still stalks Kailyn and Matt, sometimes in person. Not much has been heard of her since. It is best to avoid her unless you need lulzy info that she might have.
=== MsKailynMarie ===


It is interesting to note, however, that despite being an [[autism|actual retard]] Mooren is able to hold down a steady job at Goodwill, has a driver's license, and holds a college degree, unlike Kailyn.
After a record-breaking 4 day hiatus in February 2014, the Kween realized life in the Lavender Dungeon sucks and came crawling back to the internet. Hubby was very disappointed that she had blabbed about the rape allegations and gave her a [[Falcon Punch|beating]], thus the Kween decided it would be more responsible to adopt the “Ms” prefix in Hubby's honor.
<br><br>
[[Bullshit|She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.]]


=== Pregnancy (2013) ===
{{tinyquote|As much as I would love to share my pregnancy with my subscribers, it is best I do not. When events go beyond the slanderous posting of comments, it becomes harassment.|ForeverButthurt|color=silver|size=360%}}
[[File:ForeverKailynBabyBump.jpg|thumb|right|She's not showing yet, that's just her normal [[gunt|body]]. No, seriously.]]Kailyn had a miscarriage in March 2013. Once her miscarriage was revealed in October through her CafeMom posts, she proceeded to tell everyone (including random strangers) on KiK the gory details, much to everyone's dismay.  


Despite voicing countless times that she would be waiting until her late 20s to have children, Kailyn finally got pregnant in late 2013 after a supposed 'seven months of trying'. Since the beginning she has underplayed how desperately she wanted a girl, while clearly dreading the possibility of having a boy. She has pestered her YouTube subscribers for gifts throughout the pregnancy, while insisting that her family can give the baby everything it needs, with or without gifts. Despite claiming that her baby is now her top priority, Kailyn has preferred to spend thousands of dollars on expensive makeup and clothes instead of buying things for her child. She claimed she was having two baby showers--one held by her mom and the other by the church Matt's family attends. It was later revealed that she had lied about the church offering to host a baby shower for her. When confronted, the church expressed disgust that it was associated with Kai.
== Infamous Scandals ==


== Scandalous Kai ==
[[File:Kaiwithpot.jpg|thumb|right|Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.]]
[[File:Kaiwithpot.jpg|thumb|right|Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.]]Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big one a year. When Kailyn gets caught, she rage-deletes her social media accounts and YouTube channels, only to come crawling back a few months later. Kailyn's moment in the sun came about when she was featured on "Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9". It was a parody show that made fun of [[fail|certain beauty gurus]]. Willam laughed at Kai's teeth, hair, potato-shaped head, and her hair stylist mother.


=== Promiscuity, Camwhoring, Cheating ===
Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big scandal a year. When the [[rich and beautiful|mean pretty lady trolls]] catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween [[delete fucking everything|rage-deletes]] her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.  
Nudes were leaked when Kai sold her cellphone in 2008, having forgotten to delete the explicit photos before sending it to the buyer. The infamous 'shampoo bottle' picture (of a travel-sized shampoo bottle shoved up her vagina) was [[eye bleach|seen by many]] but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Several nudes do still exist and are available for viewing in the gallery below.


Additionally, Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her [[lazy|source of income]] for god knows how long, until she was discovered. She freaked out tried to close her account.
===N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating===


She has also cammed with users on MSN. She famously flashed her [[breasts|TITS]], before nonchalantly sticking her fork into a chicken pot pie that was sitting on her computer desk.
In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the [[moron]] forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry [[pussy|vag-hole]]. It was regrettably [[eye bleach|seen by many]] but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.


Kailyn made many accounts on OKCupid, Cragslist, and more, looking for hook-ups and announcing she was bi-curious/bisexual. There are rumors that she had sex with a girl while dating David, but it's likely that, as in everything else she does, she was unsuccessful.  
Kailyn created a [[camwhore|MyFreeCams]] account under the username '''GirlyBrunette'''. This was her [[jew golds|source of nickles]] until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny [[pedobear|pedos]] to help her delete her account.


In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using [[Philip Markoff|Craigslist]] to look for random [[hooker|sexcapades]], announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the Craigslist [[victims|girls]] took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.
{{cg|DO NOT WANT|foreverkailyngallery1|center|<gallery>
{{cg|DO NOT WANT|foreverkailyngallery1|center|<gallery>
File:Kaysklit.jpg|smegma crust and chapped puthy lips
File:Kaysassidk.jpg|I'm 12 and what is this?
File:ForeverKailynUndies.jpg|She's [[hambeast|a lot fatter]] now, guys.
File:ForeverKailynUndies.jpg|She's [[hambeast|a lot fatter]] now, guys.
File:ForeverKailynCamming.jpg|[[whore|Anything for money.]]
File:ForeverKailynCamming.jpg|[[whore|Anything for money.]]
===Catfished by a Pretty Lady===
In 2015 Kai had her meathooks in what she thought was a sweet young thang named ...
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Potpieee.JPG| The fucking pot pie.
File:Potpieee.JPG| The fucking pot pie.
File:ForeverKailynCaught.jpg|Caught in the act.
File:ForeverKailynCaught.jpg|Caught in the act.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:ForeverKailynNakedModel.jpg|Appetizing....
File:ForeverKailynNakedModel.jpg|Appetizing....
File:ForeverKailynGoddess.png|In all its uncensored glory.
File:ForeverKailynGoddess.png|In all its uncensored glory.
File:ForeverKailynNaked.jpg
File:ForeverKailynNaked.jpg
File:ForeverKailynShampoo.jpg|All that remains of the infamous shampoo bottle photo.
File:ForeverKailynShampoo.jpg|All that remains of the infamous shampoo bottle photo.</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
 
=== ForeverJobless, ForeverFailGuru ===


{{quote|Making beauty videos is my career.|ForeverKailyn, on why she doesn't have a job.}}


Kailyn took a 40 hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a license of Makeup Artist. What was intended as an intro course to further education has become the entire foundation of her [[fail|makeup abilities]]. Of course, when you watch her videos (when you can stand to because of how fucking boring they are) it's obvious that she doesn't know anything about color placement, finding one's bone structure for flattering color application, blending, etc. She calls herself a guru, but has the muddiest, ugliest makeup application ever for someone who's been doing makeup on themselves for [[CAPSLOCK|SEVEN YEARS]].


[[File:ForeverKailynFlawless.jpg|thumb|Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.]]
=== ForeverPoor ===
[[File:Dumbaos.jpg|thumb|right]]
[[File:ForeverKailynFlawless.jpg|thumb|left|Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.]]  
<br>


When asked about her income, Kai has said she sold Scentsy and Avon, as well as worked as a shampoo girl in a salon. She now [[lies|claims]] to get her money from YouTube ad revenue, birthday money and Christmas money. It is speculated that she receives Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) but where her money comes from is a mystery. What's obvious, though, is she never intends on finding employment, citing that internet trolls have made it impossible for potential employers to Google her without finding her nudes/scandals. Never mind the fact that most employers (for the kind of jobs Kai could get) don't even bother to Google applicants.
Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a [[shit|piece of shit]], KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama [[drunk|Alchy's]] salon for a week.


Kailyn tweeted that she was [[lies|off to a job interview]], probably just to appease all the people calling her a lazy leech. Not 20 minutes later, she tweeted that the interview went well. Once people started telling her it was impossible for her to travel to and from an interview, as well as sit for the interview itself in just 20 minutes, she deleted all tweets about it.
{{tinyquote|Making beauty videos is my career.|Foreverkailyn|on why she doesn't have a job|color=silver|size=360%}}


Now that she is pregnant, she has announced she will be a [[welfare|stay-at-home mom]] "forever". How convenient for her!
Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy, Younique and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has gone as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her pretend interview to [[Stfu|shut up the trolls]] but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now [[lies|claims]] to get her money from YouTube ad revenue and [[welfare|holiday money]], but continues to deny that she receives Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since [[The Google|she created her own internet-meets-reality demise]]. <s>More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work!</s>  Kailyn continues her quest to lockdown the next CPW, who hopefully has never heard of the internet.
<br><br>


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''The job she thought she had'''</big></center><br>
|<center><big>'''The job that got away'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>gOdtkIgoKb8</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>gOdtkIgoKb8</youtube></center>
|}
|}


=== Pink Wednesday ===
=== Pink Wednesday ===
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies promising a half-assed review in exchange for free shit. A new company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the ''Mean Girls'' movie), contacted Kailyn asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She made a video review, stating that she had been using the products for a few weeks and "laaaaahved" them all. However, it was fairly obvious from the untouched appearance of the soap and full capacity of the lotion that she had never even touched them. Her surprise and disgust over the vinegar-smelling body spray was even more obvious.


When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a butthurt video rant.
After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her [[poor|free shit]] in return for a [[retard|useless, aspie review]] video. An upcoming company called '''Pink Wednesday''' (a play on a quote from the movie ''Mean Girls''), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of [[fake|pseudo-products]] produced by none other than an [[epic win|internet troll]].
When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly [[baleet|deleted]] the review and made a video fishing [[victim complex|for sympathy]].


{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
{| align="center" style="padding:0px;"
|<center><big>'''Pink Wednesday Fiasco'''</big></center><br>
|<center><big>'''Pink Wednesday Fiasco'''</big></center><br>
<center><youtube>BwOhObQ4r08</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>BwOhObQ4r08</youtube></center>
|}


=== Weight, Diet, Personal Hygiene  ===
===The Ongoing Search for a CPW (Car, Penis, Wallet) and Pimping Her Daughter===


[[File:Kailips.jpg|thumb|left|HAYYYY GUYSSSS]]Kailyn refuses to shower because she is worried about getting shampoo in her eyes and opts for bathing once a month instead. Trolls have caught her in videos with greasy hair, dandruff, etc., making it quite obvious that she pretty much never washes her own hair and instead begs her mom Lisa to wash her hair for her in "The Hair Shanty". It is said that Kai marinates in her own filth until Lisa hoses her down out back. It's lucky she was able to marry someone who is likely just as disgusting.
The online dating saga goes on.  She met a guy named Ben on Plenty of Fish or OK Cupid. They dated very briefly, but long enough to change their Facebook relationship status.  Ben is a recovering addict and still lives with his parents (I know, a shocker). He didn't have his own car, so Kailyn told him to fist-pound and whine at his parents until they bought him a car because that's what she does at home to get what she wants from her parents.  He got sick of her complaining and ended the relationship. After that, there were many, many first dates and maybe a few second dates, but no third dates - EVER.


Kailyn (more affectionately known as "Gorilla") has been steadily gaining weight for years. The only vegetables she eats are cucumbers (with ranch), carrots (with ranch), and potatoes. The only protein she really likes is chicken, preferably coming from a can and fried in a lot of oil. See Imgur album for proof.[http://imgur.com/a/jzVpJ#0]
The latest 'relationship' was with a guy named Chris.  Chris is a 25-year-old who looks like he's 40 with his receding hairline and probably weighs 350 pounds (and again, still lives with his parents). He fancies himself a poet and was given the acronym PLOIG (Poet Laureate of InstaGram), writing bad poetry and publishing it on his IG (where he goes by the handle confessional_poet).  The guy really needs to take English 101 because he obviously doesn't have a clue about proper writing style for ANY type of poetry or prose.  If he's not publishing his 'poetry', he is posting selfies. The guy really thinks he's hot.  This relationship started in June of 2017, even though he was engaged to be married to a different woman up until May of 2017.  People tried to tell Kailyn that it was a rebound relationship, but to her it was true love. They would see each other once a week (Sundays), probably because he kept Fridays and Saturdays free for real dates and not just a quickie.


=== RAAAAAAAAAPE ===
At some point, she started sending what most would call provocative photos of her daughter, now 3 years old, in various poses, with makeup on, Snapchat videos telling her to "shake you bootie" and "flutter your lashes" and a snap of her licking a popsicle to her new beau.  Chris apparently thought it was odd considering he had never even met her daughter.  It was hypothesized by many that she was pimping her daughter to help cement the relationship.  Intentional or not, it was WRONG and lead to the latest rage delete in August of 2017 when she was repeatedly called out on all of her social media accounts.  Even some of her previous supporters changed their tune and questioned her actions.  Needless to say, this ended their eight-week relationship despite allegedly having already professed their love for one another (if you believe Kailyn, which most people don't).  All of this resulted in Kailyn deleting her latest IG account (it's getting really hard to keep track of the names of all of her SM accounts).  Let's give it a go:  In the last year alone we've had Kailynismynameoh, Kailyn.Marie.Beauty., KMWBeauty, Kailyndoesmakeup, Sincerelykailyn and Kailyncreates, all of which she would make public and private again and again.  She does the same thing with her 'personal' Facebook page and YouTube page.  She will delete and privatize these one day and go back to public or create a new page the next.  Due to her rather schizophrenic changing of accounts and account names, Instagram deleted her latest two profiles (Kailyndoesmakeup/Kailyncreates) for impersonation. 


[[File:OLg3Pmx.jpg|thumb|right|Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.]]
This latest scandal regarding her daughter has seemed to result in a bit of a meltdown. She repeatedly posts bizarre Snapchat videos about her being so happy and no one 'dulling her shine' with the same dead eyes that we always see.  She's almost gritting her teeth.  It's unsure who she is trying to convince, her haters or herself.  It has also resulted in a slew of new members on one of the gossip sites that has a section for Kailyn that are defending her and telling the other site members to 'get a life'.  It has been speculated who actually created these accounts (including her mother and some equally trashy friend who she still has fooled (likely because they are dumber than she).  It has made for an entertaining time.


In October 2013, Kailyn and her "hubby" Matt allegedly raped their friend A. This issue was brought to light by someone who went undercover as a stan and messaged Kailyn on Facebook. Kailyn brought up the alleged rape herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", as if that's an excuse for rape. This incident was confirmed by Bowie PD police reports that confirmed there was indeed a call for rape on Kailyn's street on that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote a contradicting Facebook status saying it was all a "misunderstanding", and that Kailyn and A were still friends. Mama Wilcher and Kailyn then claimed that a family member of A had called the police, even though [[Idiot|Kailyn herself had previously admitted that the police let A use her bathroom and collect her belongings before leaving Kailyn's house]]. The Bowie PD also included the incident in their Uniform Crime Report to the state for the month of October, indicating that they believe the rape occurred despite not being able to continue their investigation because A dropped the charges.
Also, in an effort to deflect talk about her pimping her own daughter for a man, she tried to catfish someone into believing she was pregnant from her recent two month relationship with Chris. She searched the internet for a random positive pregnancy test to use as proof (and used one from a site where the OP was from Indonesia - yeah, she's that dumb) and a simple image search proved her to be lying (again). It was also good for a laugh.
|}


After receiving a deluge of negative comments calling out her lies, the mistreatment of her so-called friend, and general disgust over her and her husband's behavior, Kailyn decided it was time to once again drop off the Internet. She deleted her beauty-related Facebook, Instagram and both her YouTube accounts on February 21, 2014. A sad day for no one. On February 22, she reactivated her Facebook to post her email for any "fans" who want to keep in touch. Anyone with half a brain knows that she only wants people to send her presents. She has since deleted the status after people called her out on her greediness.
==Kaivman Vocab & Phrases==


Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her [[aspergers|disability ass]] and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own [[caveman|Kaivman]] language, usually referred to as ''Kaisms''.


=== Teeth and Speech Impediment ===


[[Image:Fr7sO.jpg‎|thumb]]
*materny laygins: maternity leggings
It has been obvious since her early KaiKhaod days that Kailyn has too many damn teeth in her mouth. Baby pictures show Kai with a freakishly bloated jaw. Despite wearing braces for several years Kai's teeth still look like shit, most likely down to her being too lazy to wear her retainer after having the braces off. She has an excessive saliva build up in her mouth as well as a lisp, resulting in her being unable to pronounce majority of words.
*'ply:  apply
*tho: so
*quessioneer:  questionaire
*Ta Jay Mai Hai:  Taj Mahal
*pink slice:  pinksickle
*albertross:  albatross
*prennit:  pregnant
*limmidishon: limited edition
*hallow every Juan: hello everyone
*ith: It's
*Davit: David
*Madd: Matt
*eeewwguyth: you guys
*thuper: super
*husbint: husband
*katvondy: Kat Von D
*weddin' wild: Wet & Wild
*buddin: button
*drewberry moore: Drew Barrymore
*cowide: cow hide
*Rosebud slave:  Rosebud salve
*Shore:  sure
*cayoot: cute
*stuneen: stunning
*priddy: pretty
*trentin cream:  tretinoin cream
*snifficently:  significantly
*sowrecksy:  siouxsie


''(This section is [[Rickroll|ForeverUnfinished]])''


== Miscellaneous==


{{cg|The Stunning Kween|foreverkailyngallery|center|<gallery>
File:Natural kai.jpg
File:ForeverKailynNightSwimming.jpg |A whale in its natural habitat.
File:ForeverKailynOilyFace.jpg |Obviously she knows what she's talking about.
File:ForeverKailynMattLove.jpg | Kailyn and her hubby Matt.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Apekai.jpg
File:Kailynokcupid.jpeg|Looking for some side dick while dating Davit!
File:ForeverKailynontheprowl.png | Lookin' for her next man.
File:ForeverKailynPregnancyLies.jpg|You can never trust that she's telling the truth.
File:kailiverchat.png | One of her more amusing live chats.
File:ForeverKailynSprayingMakeup.png |After 7 years of doing beauty videos, she's perfected her on-screen application technique.
</gallery>}}
<br><br>


== Miscellaneous ==
<center>{{fv|starvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>kba-kJA4PEs</youtube>|<youtube>Sg0EhCUsOv4</youtube>|<youtube>0pQX9oWWp90</youtube>|<youtube>HxGOKuwuVqA</youtube>}}
</center>


=== Troll Artistry ===


<center><youtube>kba-kJA4PEs</youtube></center>
{{cg|Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls|foreverkailyngallery3|center|Creations courtesy of UC/MoarFail.<gallery>
<center><youtube>Sg0EhCUsOv4</youtube></center>


{{cg|Stunning Makeup Looks and More|foreverkailyngallery|center|<gallery>
File:Darkiekai.jpg|"Hey, that's my room!"
 
File:Potatoheadkai.jpg
File:ForeverKailynPregnancyLies.jpg|You can never trust that she's telling the truth.
File:Pegleg.jpg
File:ForeverKailynSprayingMakeup.png |After 7 years of doing beauty videos, she's perfected her on-screen application technique.
File:McKailyn.jpg
File:ForeverKailynOilyFace.jpg |Obviously she knows what she's talking about.
File:ForeverKailynMattLove.jpg | Kailyn and her hubby Matt.
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:ForeverKailynontheprowl.png | Lookin' for her next man.
File:Nokaiday.jpg|Happy birthday!
File:ForeverKailynNightSwimming.jpg |A whale in its natural habitat.
File:Clpost.jpg
File:Demonkai.jpg  
File:Goombahughes.jpg
File:Disabilityass.jpg
File:Obesekaikai.jpg
File:Demonkaikaiz.jpg
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
<br><br><br>


== See also ==
== See also ==
*[[Fat]]
*[[Fat]]
*[[Aspergers]]
*[[Aspie]]
*[[Aspierations]]
*[[FAS]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Chris Chan]]
*[[Attention Whore]]
*[[Attention Whore]]
Line 239: Line 456:
*[[Unwarranted Self Importance]]
*[[Unwarranted Self Importance]]
*[[Fugly]]
*[[Fugly]]
*[[buttertroll]]
*[[Walmart]]
*[[Walmart]]
*[[Internet Celebrity]]
*[[Internet Celebrity]]


== Social Accounts ==


== Accounts & External Linkage ==
* {{fb|MsKailynMarie|Her Facebook}}
* {{instagram|MsKailynMarie|Instagram}}
* {{yt|u|MsKailynMarie|Beauty YouTube Channel}}
* <s>{{fb|foreverkailynyt|Her Facebook}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{fb|foreverkailynyt|Her Facebook}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{instagram|kailynmarieh|Her Instagram}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{instagram|kailynmarieh|Instagram}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{ytuser|foreverkailyn|Beauty YouTube Channel}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{yt|u|foreverkailyn|Beauty YouTube Channel}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{ytuser|sincerelykailyn|Vlog YouTube Channel}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{yt|u|sincerelykailyn|Vlog YouTube Channel}}</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>{{tumblr|foreverkailyn|Her Tumblr}}</s> '''Deleted and squatted'''
* <s>{{tumblr|foreverkailyn|Her Tumblr}}</s> '''Deleted & squatted'''
* <s>[http://www.pinterest.com/foreverkailyn| Her Pinterest]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.pinterest.com/foreverkailyn Pinterest]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.foreverkailyn.com| Her website]</s> '''Deleted'''
* <s>[http://www.foreverkailyn.com website]</s> '''Deleted'''
* {{twitter|ForeverKailynyt| A fake Twitter}}
* <s>[http://www.cafemom.com/home/makeupmommy2B Her CafeMom profile]</s> '''Deleted'''
* {{twitter|foreverkailyn| Another fake Twitter}}
* [http://www.modelmayhem.com/1656324 Model Mayhem] '''Inactive'''
* [http://www.cafemom.com/home/makeupmommy2B| Her CafeMom profile]
<br><BR>
* [http://foreverkailyn.imgur.com/| Outdated fanmade Imgur album]
'''& etc.:'''
 
* {{instagram|kailynmariehhhh|Parody Instagram}} '''Inactive'''
* {{twitter|ForeverKailynyt| Parody Twitter1}} '''Abandon'''
* {{twitter|foreverkailyn| Parody Twitter2}}
* [http://foreverkailyn.imgur.com/ Imgur album (troll archive)]
* [http://thewilchers.blogspot.com/ Booie Socialite Sims blog] '''Abandon'''




{{ytseries}}
{{ytseries}}
{{whores}}
{{whores}}
{{Timeline|Featured article April 3rd & 4th, [[2014]]|[[John Campbell]]|[[{{PAGENAME}}]]|[[AdrenalineOn]]}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 06:36, 13 January 2023

ForeverKailyn = infected with GOTIS
You can help by not giving her any attention.




Hello Everyjuaaan!

"ForeverKailyn" (now MsKailynMarie) aka Kailyn Marie Wilcher-Hughes (fka KaiKhaod, LilKaiKaiz, KailynsKreations, SincerelyKailyn) is an obese, lazy, white trash socialite and self-proclaimed Youtube beauty guru from Bowie, Maryland. Kailyn has been shitting out Youtube videos since 2007. She currently holds the world record for producing the most lulz, scandals, and retard drama in a single lifetime next to her soul mate, Chris Chan.

The most notoriety Kai has ever received was a feature spot on Vh1's Best Week Ever blog for her signature phrase "Hai Everyjuan", and a segment on Willam's Beatdown: Episode 9.

As of February 2014, Kailyn has gone into hiding after her most recent scandal.

On March 2, 2014, Kailyn's newest Youtube channel, mskailynmarie, was suspended for violations. She has since privated her vlog channel, Kailyn vlogs. When asked about what happened, she of course said "Someone was able to get my account suspended. I'm not sure how or why. I didn't do anything wrong." Unfortunately, it was only a 24-hour suspension and she is back. She gives a cockroach a run for its money. She would probably survive a nuclear blast.

   
 
Even the president makes mistakes
 

 
 

—Kai, coming back from one of her scandals

   
 
I don't have a disability ass
 

 
 

—Kailyn Marie Wilcher Hughes

   
 
This is Tah Jay Mah Hai.
 

 
 

—Trying to pronounce Taj Mahal

   
 
People go off their diet on the weekend
 

 
 

—Stuffing her face on BlogTV

   
 
I have peroid dummy
 

 
 

—Trying to be the baddest bitch while refuting pregnancy rumors

   
 
It smells like... Paris amour.
 

 
 

Accurately describing the fragrance notes in Paris Amour

   
 
This is pink slice
 

 
 

—Attempting to say Pinksickle

   
 
I don't have gentle herpes.
 

 
 

—ForeverKailyn

   
 
This is rosebud slave
 

 
 

—Pronouncing rosebud salve

   
 
Sanba? Samba?
 

 
 

—Pronouncing scuba

   
 
Every since I've become pregnant all I do is think about my baby and all the things I would love to buy for him or her I don't even care about buying things for me anymore I'm I'm mommy mode 24/7 :)
 

 
 

—Before she spent $1000 over 3 months on drugstore make-up for herself

   
 
Yeah but my doctor didn't say i'm obese and i'm not
 

 
 

—ForeverDelusional

   
 
I need to be respons...ibilities
 

 
 

—ForeverResponsible


Personal Life & Family

Meet the Wilchers

Disability ass demon Kailyn Marie Wilcher (aka Kai ("k-eye"), Kailyn Kardashian, ForeverFailyn, Kailyn Wilsher, Demon Kai, Kween Kai, Kaivman, Gorilla, FAS rere, Potato head Retarded thing, etc.) was hatched on May 18th 1990 to Lisa Sokoloski Wilcher (aka Mama Wilsher, Mama Wheelchair, Mama Alchy, MW) and dirty beaner Michael Wilcher (aka Papa Wilcher, Papa Wilsher, Papa Wheelie). It is believed that Kailyn was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Asperger's Syndrome which has given her a lulzy speech impediment, a compulsive giggle exhale, retard induced cuntiness, and a fuck load of narcissism. Kai's parents are "separated" yet live together, and it's alleged that Papa Wheelie and his two fat mutts moved back to the Beige Mansion because he couldn't afford to live on his own while continuing to support the Wilcher ladies. Kai lives as a "stay-at-home daughter" at the Beige Mansion in Bowie (aka Booie), which is decked out in nothing but the most glamorous 1970's decor (including revolving Christmas tree), and the finest of dinnerware, flatware and drink ware: paper plates, and plastic utensils and cups.

FAS evolution

As soon as Mama Wilsher found out her precious potato was retarded and deformed, Kai was doomed forever. Mama Wilsher enrolled her little shit-for-brains in various elementary schools before pulling her out of retard classes, using the excuse that the DC Sniper was on the loose, or so she reasoned. Instead of mainstream classes, MW homeschooled Kai at The Sunflower Academy (aka the kitchen table). Homeschooling enabled Kai to rot in the Lavender Dungeon known as her bedroom (formally Pink Dungeon) while Mama did all of Kai’s homework/worksheets, which has resulted in Kai having the reading level of a second grader. Due to her moron of a mother, Kai claims she has never been told she has any disabilities, even though she has a hockey-stick palmar crease, a symptom unique to only those with FAS, and admits she was thoroughly retard-tested as a small demon.

Lisa works from home in a makeshift salon converted from their garage, Lisa's Hair Shanty, doing old lady perms twice a week for the neighborhood hags while getting inebriated. Kailyn says that her dead-beat, enabling mother is her best friend, but in reality she's her caregiver and scapegoat for when a Kai scandal breaks.

To support his pride and joy, Michael doles out his hard earned pension dollars to the Wilcher ladies every month, formerly working for a courthouse cleaning air vents and polishing floors.

Kai's extended uselessness of a family includes her Uncle Stephen E. Sokoloski (aka Uncle-daddy Stephen, Uncle Acne); his wife and Kai's archenemy; her 8 year old cousin, Eli (who all live with granny, Dorothy Sokoloski). Her grandfather, Stephen R. Sokoloski, passed away at the Wilcher estate sometime in 2007 in the midst of Kai's $500 monthly MAC makeup hoard-hauling and cam girl scandal. She's proud to say that when he passed, she didn't even cry.

The Kween blames Uncle Stephen for giving her pizza face genes, while Papa Wilcher's family is blamed for her being an obese walrus.

HAYYYY GUYTH!



Diet, Hygiene & Weight Gain

Kailyn has admitted she does not use a shower (they are buh-roken) and does not wash her own hair because she gets shampoo in her eyes. Kai is often seen wearing her dandruff as a hair accessory, and showing off her buttery teeth covered in plaque. Once a week, Mama Alchy hoses Kai off in the driveway and washes her hair in the Shanty's shampoo bowl to keep the fat beast from stinking up the mansion too much.

Seriously greasy bangs!

Kailyn's diet mainly consists of ranch dressing with the occasional baby carrot or pretzel crithspth. She eats salad with everything but lettuce, because she's not sure if it's even "eatable". Her favorite meal is clucks and fries, and she'll even resort to ordering off the kid's menu if the restaurant she's at doesn't feature chicken fingers on it s big gurl menu. Speaking of restaurants, her favorites are Red Robin, The Cheesecake Factory (for special occasions, like her birthday), and Grotto's The Legendary Taste® (for Mama W's birthday). But fuck Papa W's birthday, he's just there to pay for everything.


I have no idea wtf it is either

SEE IMGUR ALBUM OF THE KWEEN’S FAVORITE FOODS.


In case it hasn't been obvious, our FAS kween has been steadily gaining weight since her start on Youtube. Every year the Pretty Ladies comment on the obese whale's weight, and the following year they're more surprised than ever with her weight gain. At 5'2", the PLs estimate Kween Kai was nearing 200lbs in 2013 and as of early 2017, are convinced she's well over 250 lbs. She now has a massive shelf-ass, has moved into plus-sized clothing, and was forced to move up to a size 10 shoe due to her obese flippers, all of which MW's magic mirror can no longer hide.

…Damn, girl, PUT THE FORK DOWN!







Friends (Or Lack Thereof)

Besides superficial friendships with fellow failures on youtube, Kai has only ever mentioned having a single friend who is no longer her friend because she's a darkie. Kai gushed on YT about having a friend who sent her a necklace that says "you're my person", but the PLs are convinced her only real friend is Amy Zon. Her penpals don't count, because there's no way to confirm how many of them are real, and how many are actually haydurs. Occasionally, Kai will elude to going out "with a friend" but it can only be deduced that it's MW or the latest CPW (car/penis/wallet).

Bella

Lisa bought Kai her one and only true best friend, Bella, a derpy mutt sold to them for thousands of dollars under the guise of being a purebred Yorkie. Kailyn claims she "would love Bella even if she was a horse". When Bella is not shitting and pissing all over the Wilcher mansion (because she never gets to go outside) she is being crushed by the retard-strength of her owner and suffocated by the fart wars in the Lavender Dungeon, or holed up inhaling fumes in The Shanty. For entertainment purposes, Kai often sprays air freshener in Bella's face to make her "act silly". Recent information has surfaced that Bella has never been registered with their local municipality. This makes one wonder if this dog has ever seen a veterinarian or been vaccinated. We know that Lisa 'grooms' the dog, which could only mean she's never been professionally groomed.

Animal Abuse



David (Boyfriend, 2006-2011)

David (aka Davit) was Kai's first true love. They started dating when Kai was just a mouth full of teeth attached to a 15-year old potato head retarded thing. Davit is (was) a sickly fatass who liked to party, drink and dabble in drugs, and was the only person to ever introduce Kai to socialization. Early in their relationship, Kai and her mullet became pregnant with Avery Juan 1.0 but ended up aborting the demon at Davit and Mama Wilcher's demand. Throughout their 5 years together, Kai began her scandal timeline, including camming, shoving her saggy gorilla tits in his friends' faces, having a 3-some with Davit and his friend "hot dave", and targeting Craigslist for trannies and dykes to calm her retard-hypersexuality. But in the end, Kai's retard-hypersexuality and selfishness ruined their relationship. In 2011, Kai broke up with Davit on BlogTV to appease the trolls telling her to do it for the lulz, and soon after the relationship ended for good.




Kai's Big Party


After their break-up in 2011, Kailyn made a tell-all video about their relationship. Painting herself as an innocent victim, she said Davit was the one who made her get into the partying lifestyle. Davit responded with a rebuttal video owning up to a few hard truths, but adding that she was both manipulative and a liar, and that everything she did was of her own free will.

Kailyn Spilling the Beans & David's Response





David explains it all



David Has Passed Away


Tragically, David passed away in early July of 2015. When Kailyn found out about this she, of course, made it all about her by immediately posting old photos of them together (mostly inappropriate ones, such as her in a bikini) and talked about how they had all their 'firsts' together (wink). She immediately began stalking all David's Facebook friends in order to gets the deets on his death, and to find out when the funeral was and cop a ride (because surely Lisa wasn't going to take her). The day after the funeral, she posted her 'funeral makeup' and a 'funeral selfie' with a friend (who was really trolling her by standing with Kailyn's infamous leg pop/hand on hip pose), in both of which she was grinning. On the selfie, she even posted the caption "we look fab" with a backdrop of the funeral home and hearse. This 'friend' specifically asked that Kailyn NOT post the picture on social media, but Kailyn being Kailyn, ignored this person's request and posted it anyway because she is a sociopath and doesn't care about other people's feelings. Needless to say, her behavior during this sad event was inappropriate and put another strain on her already sham of a marriage. Matt was NOT happy. BTW, she didn't cry when Davit died either.

Funeral Selfie



















She even looked up his birth flower as an idea for a new tattoo.


Matt (Husband, 2011-2016)

© MoarFail Cartoon Lady, 2011-2012. We miss you gurl.
Matthew Hughes attempts to lift his prize cow.

Matthew Todd Hughes (aka Matt Drost, Goomba, Madd, Hubby) is a fat, dough-faced, retarded fag loving piece of white trash living in Maryland's "country" who formerly worked as a cart-pusher at Wallyworld. Kai met Matt in the fall of 2011 on Plenty of Fish while he was still dating Maureen Lewis. As usual, Mama Wilcher chaperoned Kai to Starbucks for a date with Matt while she supervised them from the parking lot. Three short months later, Matt proposed to Kai with a fashion ring from Wal-Mart.

On April 13th 2012, Friday the Thirteenth, lulzy wedding bells were heard across Maryland State. Kai and Matt arrived in their most dazzling attire to be wed at the elegant St. Mary's County courthouse. Kai wore a dollar store tiara with an ill-fitted $20 dress from Kohl's, while Matt simply rolled out of bed and dressed himself in a vintage McDonald's Manager's uniform. None of the Wilchers or Hughes were in attendance.

It wasn't long before Madd began showing signs of mental illness, no doubt bought on by the fact that he was married to Kailyn Wilcher. In a state of sheer lunacy, Matt locked himself in the Wilcher's bathroom and threatened to drown himself in a tub full of hot water.

NIGGER ALERT

Mooren

The torn lovers

Maureen Elizabeth Lewis (aka Mooren, Momo, Nignog, Nigger, Niggereen, Nigress, Ape, Chimp) was first introduced to the internets after Kailyn and Matt began dating. She is a batshit insane inbred welfare nigger with naturally drunk eyes, slurred speech and, like Kai, a lulzy speech impediment. Momo is a product of her father and aunt’s sexual affair, and was living in a cockroach infested trailer with her rapist father, Elmore Lewis, before he went to prison. Matt denied knowing the wild ape, but was dating and having sex with her for several months before his new deformed retard, Kai, came into the picture [1][2]. Upon Kai's arrival, Matt ignored the nignog and lulzy obsessed stalking ensued.

   
 
weally, madd? weally? ...weally?
 

 
 

—Maureen Lewis, stalking Madd


Mooren found forums and blogs online dedicated to trolling the FAS Kween and started posting dirt on them. At her stalking peak, Mooren showed up at Wal-Mart several times a week and finally filmed her encounter [3] with her ex, Matt. The crazy nignog has since slowed her antics, but continues to peruse the forums in order to keep up with her successor.

These days, trolls will only bait Mooren for the lulz as she is now in her own delusional competition with the Kween and is desperate to get impregnated by a POF sperm whale*. In Mooren’s freetime, she learns how to play guitar steals other people’s shitty guitar covers and sings over them. Some of her better songs have been turned into music videos based on the Booie socialites’ love triangle via the Kween’s trolls and Sims characters. [4] [5]

  • Mooren has succeeded in marrying her own fat retard and having her own deformed baby. Congrats!

Married Life (2012-2016)

Lookin' tho thtunnin' on her weddin' day
honeymoon at the local lake

As of 2014, Kai and Madd lived separately with their parents. Kai continued to live with in the beige mansion with her caregiver in Bowie while Matt lived with his white trash parents, Mary C. Hughes and Todd D. Hughes and 27-year old Kai-esque sister, Amber, in Leonardtown--with occasional vacations at local psychiatric hospitals. In the past, Matt would drive to Booie to visit Kai several times a month, but quickly realized his wife was a hideous beast and scaled back his visits to once a month in order to be "downgraded" and humiliated over his small penis.

When the PLs confronted her about her shitty marriage, Kai insisted Matt lived with her in the glamorous Wilcher mansion. In the midst of yet another lie, Kai was caught after PLs found her uploading to instagram with geotags in Madd's location. It was clear that in the beginning, Matt believed Kai was internet famous and thought he would get worshipped, but the haydurs have since driven him off the internets. Soon after this revelation, Matt began controlling Kai's internet access and if Kai disobeyed, mandatory beatings were had.

Rape Accusations

Puzzle globe logo
MW's ghostwriting

On October 2, 2013, well prior to their divorce, Kailyn and Matt sexually assaulted their friend A. In February, the scandal was announced to the PLs after a PL pretending to be a stan baited Kai for personal info. Kailyn brought up the assault herself, saying that A was "too drunk to chew her food", and that she and hubby were placed in separate police cars for questioning ("it was thcary!"). The accusations were confirmed online by Bowie police reporting a forcible rape call on Kailyn's block that particular night. The incident was again confirmed when Mama Wilcher (ghostwriting for Kailyn) wrote contradicting social media statuses on Kai's behalf saying it was all a "misunderstanding". After realizing she had managed to turn even the most politically correct, social justice communities against her, she deleted everything. In Kai's world, deleting = it never happened.


Uh huh, sure Lisa Kai


Prennicy (2013)

She's not showing yet.

The FAShionista had just turned 23 and having long been a useless waste of space, decided it would be a great idea to get pregnant. Afterall, how else would she get away with not having to work and continue to collect SSDI for the next 18 years? Luckily, the Sokoloski women have a multigenerational cycle they have mastered to lock down financial income, called the Sokoloski Cycle:

Step 1: get hitched quickly
Step 2: get knocked up instantly
Step 3: separate from your husband
Step 4: demand money “for the child

Fortunately, Avery Juan 2.0 was smart enough to abort itself in March of 2013. However, have no fear--in October 2013---our FAS queen succeeded in conceiving an Avery Juan 3.0 (presumably on the night of the aforementioned rape). Kai is currently expecting her fatass, middle-aged stans to buy her shit for her soon-to-be government leech while she continues to purchase hundreds of dollars’ worth of makeup to add to her hoard every month.


Our Kween was thrilled to find that she would be having a girl to add to the Sokoloski Cycle. Surprising absolutely no one, the mini slack-jawed demon has already proven to be an incompetent little retard after Kai announced that her doctor had a really difficult time measuring the fetus’ nuchal translucency, which is the first common sign of Down’s. Whether the mini demon will be a retard because hubby punched Kai in the stomach (needs citation), Kai was drinking while trying to conceive or because it will be coming from two long lines of brainless morons, little rere demon Gracie Marie Wilcher-Hughes will make its debut in the world, dead or alive, in July 2014.


Despite having no real friends, Mama Alchy held two baby showers for the spoiled brat; one at the in-laws Callaway Baptist Church with a bunch of strangers, and the other in their Booie home. To fill up space, Lisa paid off invited Kai's childhood friends that hadn't seen her in years and barely remembered the fassy retard who would wave at them in the school bus as it drove off without her.


It is believed that the Kween suffered from multiple health problems during her pregnancy (which she vehemently denied, even though she couldn't *giggle exhale* without sounding like a dying fish out of water). She gained a large amount of weight, and it was suspected that Gestational Diabetes was a cause. Kai admitted to having "hardly hypertension" in the months after the birth, along with issues with her juan layg.

Pregnancy Vlog Sample


Gracie Marie Hughes

Kai gave birth to her crotch spawn Gwathee Mawee Hughes on June 28th, 2014, via C-section as per her fist-pounding request to her doctor. Gracie had a bowel blockage in the womb, and underwent emergency surgery after birth, spending her first week of life in the NICU. During this time, BBgorilla sat at home on her acne-ridden ass, stuffing her face with ranch-dipped veggie crithphth while keeping the health of her baby a secret. She did not visit Grace in the hospital. Maltt moved in after Gracie's birth, and he made her keep all pictures of the baby off the interwebs. Kailyn broke her vow of "safety for her baybeh" after the Wilcher pool closed for the summer. Matt's mental health continued to decline, so he took his frogs, his HDTV and his fart ghosts, and moved back in with his parents.


Many pictures of Guh-racie were then shared on her Instagram, much to the glee of everyone. However, the realization quickly dawned on all that the crotch spawn was being neglected. A flat head due to lying on her back in a cot all day, severely delayed development, and 4 day old poop pants were just some of the things the haydurs called Kai out on, but their comments were quickly deleted. Much of Kai's Instagram consisted of videos featuring herself and Grace, with the kween yelling "SAAAAAAAY HIIIII, GWATHIEEEEEE SAYYYY HIIIIIIII", even though she was only 6 months old, and telling Grace what a cute puppy she was. It has been speculated that Gwathee may have Down's Syndrome, but this has yet to be confirmed.


Throughout this time, Kai continued to spend her $600 monthly govmint check money that magically appears in her bank account on makeup and clothes, but never food or clothing for her spawn. Gracie had received many items of clothing at the two baby showers and from "internet friends", and yet she was only ever seen in the same 3 or 4 outfits. BBgorilla never took baby Gracie anywhere outside the house, and frequently left her at home with Drunky to eat clucks and fries with Maltt at Red Robin. Both Maltt and Kai also spent money during this time building up a collection of shitty scratcher tattoos.


Try not to barf



The haydurs continued to question Kai about her negligence as the dummy continued to post evidence for all to see. More examples include putting the crotch-spawn in over-sized clothes and gigantic toddler bibs, incorrectly buckling the belt in the baby's car seat (on the rare occasion Gracie got to leave the house), and the fact that Gwathee still was unable to crawl properly at 9 months. So Kaikai rage-deleted all of the pictures of Guac from her Insta in March 2015. Hope was fading, as Mama Wheelchair told the hambeast in her alcohol-ridden rage that "Gracie will have a stupid life," if things continued at the rate they were going. With Maltt's mental issues, Gracie's specialness, MamaW's drinking, and the continuous questioning from the haydurs, it all became too much for BB. She cracked, and rage-deleted her entire Instagram account on the 10th April, 2015.

Update: Nothing has changed except for the fact that Gracie gets more delayed as the days go by. She has now passed her first birthday, and is still not talking or even making many noises. She appears to have a type of cranial deformity as evidenced by a noticeable ridge in the middle of her forehead. She is not enrolled in any Mommy & Me classes (despite Kai's insistance that she would) or even taken to the park, zoo or library. A swing was installed in the Wilcher's back yard and occasionally Kai will drag her out for photo ops. Guac's birthday celebration was notable for garish decor, cupcakes and smash cake--which Guac had no idea what to do with. As expected, the usual cast of characters attended the festivities. It was the event of the year.......not. Gracie got gifts. This included ONE book, titled "Baby's First Words". Hopefully, both Kailyn and Gracie will study this carefully and learn to speak properly, though I don't think Kailyn has opened any of the handful of books that Gracie has received.

Update August 14, 2016: Gracie has miraculously survived two full years in the Beige Mansion. She recently went to her 2-year well-child checkup and the doctor recommended that if Gracie wasn't talking by 2.5 years, she should have speech therapy (or that is how Kailyn's rere brain interpreted it/Lisa told her). Videos of the child show that she is clearly speech delayed and needs this NOW, but none of the people in that house give a rat's ass about that kid (Grandpa Silverback is the only one who shows true joy when interacting with Gracie). Needless to say, she is doomed.

Update January 16, 2017: Not surprisingly, Gracie is still mute and to date, no speech therapy has been scheduled. She has not be socialized with other kids her age, nor has she attended any mommy and me typa classes. It's safe to say that Guac is as much of a shut in as her sister-mom.

Update August 19, 2017: As you have probably surmised, there has been no significant change in Gracie's condition. She still does not speak other than babbling incoherently. She will only speak one or two words to directly mimic her sister-mom when commanded. It's obvious that the child can't stand her birth mother. She has told former friends turned Kaigents that Gracie cries and bites herself when Lisa is not with them, obviously because she considers Lisa to be her true mother. She is over 3 years old and is still not potty trained, still sleeps with a pacifier while napping in her sister-mom's arms (any reason to sit on that fat ass, right Kailyn?) and still not going to any type of preschool.

She is allegedly getting speech therapy once a month, which is a joke considering what this child really needs to even think about mainstreaming her in any school system. They will be in for a rude awakening when they take her to her kindergarten evaluation when they're told she's not even close to being ready. She will no doubt either be placed in some sort of pre-K class/special education class or Lisa will immediately pull her granddaughter from public school and 'home school' her like she did her daughter. We all know how good that worked out.

RIP in Pieces Kailyn's Marriage


In November, 2014, the truth was finally revealed. Kailyn could not lie anymore about Matt living with them. They 'officially' separated that month and divorce papers were filed at Matt's request in December of 2015 (they needed to be separated for a minimum of one year before they could file). Of course Kailyn, being the simple rere that she is, had no clue (nor did she care) about what the process entailed and was mostly worried about that the money being spent on her lawyer wasn't being spent on her. The fist pounds could be heard for miles. The divorce court hearing took place on February 25, 2016.

It was early 2016 when Kai transformed her Madd tattoo into the monstrosity of the black, lacy bow you see above her funbags today.

Update: The divorce was final as of August 2, 2016 and cost the Wilchers upwards of $5,000, even though no formal visitation schedule, child support or alimony payments were finalized as part of the divorce. It is understood that Kai was bored throughout most of the proceedings and had to undergo a court-ordered psychiatric evaluation to determine just wtf is wrong with the gorilla. Kailyn did a "My Divorce" video that is full of lies and mistruths (of course). Now she can start searching....oh wait, she has already been searching...for a new CPW. For over a year - well before she and Matt were 'officially' separated - Kailyn trolled OK Cupid and Plenty of Fish (among other dating sites) looking for Madd 2.0.

Hunt for a New Man (or Woman--she's bi, y'all)

Recently, she has had several 'coffee dates' at Thtarbucks, where she Uber's her mom drives her to meet her unsuspecting victims. Of course, she lets them pay for her $6 cup of sugareded bean water (The Wilcher women NEVER pay!). Not surprisingly, Kai has had many failed dates, including meeting men who told her that she was too fat, too smelly and even one who insulted just about everything about her but still managed to fuck her in the backseat of his hooptie (he was "tho mean"). Needless to say, she never heard from him again.

Kai was even catfished into sending nudes to some of her prospects who turned out to be Pretty Ladies in disguise. These little setbacks never deter her, because every time no0dz are leaked, she will do some level of rage deleting on her social media accounts (occasionally making a YT video or IG post about how she needs to stop being so trusting of strangers), but then it's back to business as usual.

Leaked picture
Another leaked picture
Boohoo!







Citizens of Bowie, MD--beware.

YouTube

KaiKhaod / KailynsKreations (Deleted)

Kailyn began her YT career with the KaiKhaod (Khaos) channel in 2007, with a misspelled username and the most lulzy wtfery to grace the Youtube makeup community. The FAS teen made her appearance with a beautiful, bleached mullet doing makeup reviews and tutorials while being high as a motherfucking kite which only emphasized her tard talk. She is a fan of makeup-turned-mommy vlogger, xSparkage, and aspires to be just like her. Coincidentally, Kai and xSparkage became pregnant at the same time.

The KaiKaod channel was eventually rage-deleted, paving the way for KailynsKreations, which was also rage-deleted when a new scandal emerged.

Face Routine: Kai's First Video



ForeverKailyn (Deleted)

Kailyn's lifeblood, her bread and butter, was her YT channel "Forever Kailyn". Boasting a high of almost 13,000 subscribers and averaging between 1,000-3,000 views per video, it took Kai several years to get to such shitty success. Kai had her Google ad revenue disabled almost as soon as it was granted on account of the dipshit clicking her own ads in hopes of a bigger paycheck[6]. Her uploaded videos include 20 minute foundation applications, Wal-Mart clothing hauls and outfits of the day (OOTD) videos. Occasionally, Mama would forget to give Kai her rere meds and Kai would upload videos of her singing and dancing or babbling about nothingness. Rating were always disabled on her channels because the dislikes to likes ratio is always high.


Day in the life of an escorted Kween:


Hair Extension Demo:

SincerelyKailyn (Deleted)

Kai created her SincerelyKailyn channel under Mama Wilsher's or Madd's personal information after she was offered products from a company requiring her channel be under Google's ad revenue terms. The channel content was mainly vlog targeted, beginning with lifestyle vlogs, kitchen vlogs, and in the end - pregnancy vlogs which involved reading her pregnancy app on her iphone 4 not 4s. As expected, this channel was also rage-deleted.



MsKailynMarie

After a record-breaking 4 day hiatus in February 2014, the Kween realized life in the Lavender Dungeon sucks and came crawling back to the internet. Hubby was very disappointed that she had blabbed about the rape allegations and gave her a beating, thus the Kween decided it would be more responsible to adopt the “Ms” prefix in Hubby's honor.

She vows never to make a pregnancy video again.


 
 
As much as I would love to share my pregnancy with my subscribers, it is best I do not. When events go beyond the slanderous posting of comments, it becomes harassment.
 

 

—ForeverButthurt


Infamous Scandals

Shall I compare thee to a bag of weed? jk it's only oregano.

Kailyn is best known for her many scandals, averaging at least one big scandal a year. When the mean pretty lady trolls catch on, it blows out of proportion and our Kween rage-deletes her social media accounts and privates her YouTube channels, only to come crawling back when she's bored.

N00ds, Cam Girl, Cheating

In 2008, Naked photos were leaked after Kai sold her cellphone and the moron forgot to remove her SIM card before sending it to the buyer. The photo-leak included her 'shampoo bottle' picture depicting a travel-size shampoo bottle jammed in her angry vag-hole. It was regrettably seen by many but is no longer online, as Kai was underage at the time. Since then, Davit has leaked a couple more including a disfigured vag photo.

Kailyn created a MyFreeCams account under the username GirlyBrunette. This was her source of nickles until a horny troll accidentally found her flashing her gorilla tits and eating pot pies on cam. Kween Kai logged into her account a final time, only to ask horny pedos to help her delete her account.

In 2011, Kailyn was caught with online dating profiles and was using Craigslist to look for random sexcapades, announcing in the ads that she was bisexual, trans-curious and interested in teen-aged girls. Some of the Craigslist girls took pictures with Kai, which Kai then uploaded to the internet and passed off as her 'friends' even though they were never seen again.

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ForeverPoor

Kailyn's self-described "flawless" makeup coverage. Click for a larger view, you masochist.


Kailyn took a 40-hour makeup course in 2008, earning her a certificate of completion in a makeup artistry course. Considering the fat moron never properly graduated high school, she thinks her 40-hour completion is equivalent to a beautician license. Even so, for 7 years she's done the same makeup application with the only variable being the colors. Once confronted for being such a piece of shit, KaiKaiz decided she was a retarded shampoo girl in Mama Alchy's salon for a week.


 
 
Making beauty videos is my career.
 

 

—Foreverkailyn, on why she doesn't have a job


Shortly after, Kai said she sold Scentsy, Younique and Avon, although she eventually admitted nobody had ever bought anything from her. She has gone as far as making an interview OOTD and a video announcing her pretend interview to shut up the trolls but her interview was canceled due to snow melting before it hit the ground an hour away. She now claims to get her money from YouTube ad revenue and holiday money, but continues to deny that she receives Social Security Disability Income (SSDI). Kai has mentioned that she never intends on gaining employment since she created her own internet-meets-reality demise. More importantly though, she's married so she doesn't need to work! Kailyn continues her quest to lockdown the next CPW, who hopefully has never heard of the internet.

The job that got away

Pink Wednesday

After her Yahoo email was hacked, it was revealed that Kailyn often contacts companies begging them to send her free shit in return for a useless, aspie review video. An upcoming company called Pink Wednesday (a play on a quote from the movie Mean Girls), contacted Kai asking her to review their beauty and bath products. She agreed to review the products, not realizing she was only honoring us with the lulziest review of pseudo-products produced by none other than an internet troll. When it came to light that she had been pranked by a fake company, and that the body spray possibly contained cat pee, Kailyn promptly deleted the review and made a video fishing for sympathy.

Pink Wednesday Fiasco

The Ongoing Search for a CPW (Car, Penis, Wallet) and Pimping Her Daughter

The online dating saga goes on. She met a guy named Ben on Plenty of Fish or OK Cupid. They dated very briefly, but long enough to change their Facebook relationship status. Ben is a recovering addict and still lives with his parents (I know, a shocker). He didn't have his own car, so Kailyn told him to fist-pound and whine at his parents until they bought him a car because that's what she does at home to get what she wants from her parents. He got sick of her complaining and ended the relationship. After that, there were many, many first dates and maybe a few second dates, but no third dates - EVER.

The latest 'relationship' was with a guy named Chris. Chris is a 25-year-old who looks like he's 40 with his receding hairline and probably weighs 350 pounds (and again, still lives with his parents). He fancies himself a poet and was given the acronym PLOIG (Poet Laureate of InstaGram), writing bad poetry and publishing it on his IG (where he goes by the handle confessional_poet). The guy really needs to take English 101 because he obviously doesn't have a clue about proper writing style for ANY type of poetry or prose. If he's not publishing his 'poetry', he is posting selfies. The guy really thinks he's hot. This relationship started in June of 2017, even though he was engaged to be married to a different woman up until May of 2017. People tried to tell Kailyn that it was a rebound relationship, but to her it was true love. They would see each other once a week (Sundays), probably because he kept Fridays and Saturdays free for real dates and not just a quickie.

At some point, she started sending what most would call provocative photos of her daughter, now 3 years old, in various poses, with makeup on, Snapchat videos telling her to "shake you bootie" and "flutter your lashes" and a snap of her licking a popsicle to her new beau. Chris apparently thought it was odd considering he had never even met her daughter. It was hypothesized by many that she was pimping her daughter to help cement the relationship. Intentional or not, it was WRONG and lead to the latest rage delete in August of 2017 when she was repeatedly called out on all of her social media accounts. Even some of her previous supporters changed their tune and questioned her actions. Needless to say, this ended their eight-week relationship despite allegedly having already professed their love for one another (if you believe Kailyn, which most people don't). All of this resulted in Kailyn deleting her latest IG account (it's getting really hard to keep track of the names of all of her SM accounts). Let's give it a go: In the last year alone we've had Kailynismynameoh, Kailyn.Marie.Beauty., KMWBeauty, Kailyndoesmakeup, Sincerelykailyn and Kailyncreates, all of which she would make public and private again and again. She does the same thing with her 'personal' Facebook page and YouTube page. She will delete and privatize these one day and go back to public or create a new page the next. Due to her rather schizophrenic changing of accounts and account names, Instagram deleted her latest two profiles (Kailyndoesmakeup/Kailyncreates) for impersonation.

This latest scandal regarding her daughter has seemed to result in a bit of a meltdown. She repeatedly posts bizarre Snapchat videos about her being so happy and no one 'dulling her shine' with the same dead eyes that we always see. She's almost gritting her teeth. It's unsure who she is trying to convince, her haters or herself. It has also resulted in a slew of new members on one of the gossip sites that has a section for Kailyn that are defending her and telling the other site members to 'get a life'. It has been speculated who actually created these accounts (including her mother and some equally trashy friend who she still has fooled (likely because they are dumber than she). It has made for an entertaining time.

Also, in an effort to deflect talk about her pimping her own daughter for a man, she tried to catfish someone into believing she was pregnant from her recent two month relationship with Chris. She searched the internet for a random positive pregnancy test to use as proof (and used one from a site where the OP was from Indonesia - yeah, she's that dumb) and a simple image search proved her to be lying (again). It was also good for a laugh.

Kaivman Vocab & Phrases

Due to Kai's inability to enunciate properly due to her disability ass and lack of reading skills, Kai has inadvertently created her own Kaivman language, usually referred to as Kaisms.


  • materny laygins: maternity leggings
  • 'ply: apply
  • tho: so
  • quessioneer: questionaire
  • Ta Jay Mai Hai: Taj Mahal
  • pink slice: pinksickle
  • albertross: albatross
  • prennit: pregnant
  • limmidishon: limited edition
  • hallow every Juan: hello everyone
  • ith: It's
  • Davit: David
  • Madd: Matt
  • eeewwguyth: you guys
  • thuper: super
  • husbint: husband
  • katvondy: Kat Von D
  • weddin' wild: Wet & Wild
  • buddin: button
  • drewberry moore: Drew Barrymore
  • cowide: cow hide
  • Rosebud slave: Rosebud salve
  • Shore: sure
  • cayoot: cute
  • stuneen: stunning
  • priddy: pretty
  • trentin cream: tretinoin cream
  • snifficently: significantly
  • sowrecksy: siouxsie

(This section is ForeverUnfinished)

Miscellaneous

The Stunning Kween About missing Pics
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Troll Artistry

Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls About missing Pics
Creations courtesy of UC/MoarFail.
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See also


Accounts & External Linkage



& etc.:


ForeverKailyn is part of a series on YouTube.

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