Mr. Saari

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Matti Juhani Saari, codename Wumpscut
Born	May 20, 1986
Died	September 23, 2008 (aged 22)
Nationality:	Finland
Highscore	Killed 10, injured 1.
Top 50?	No (#1 in Finland)
Style	FPS, Single player
An Hero?	Yes
Motive:	Autism, hatred for humanity, bullying (at least according to the Finnish media), simply for teh lulz

Hai guise!

This article is about the school shooter. For the Finnish porn star, see Henry Saari.

THE FINNISHER: RELOADED

Matti Juhani Saari, is was a 22-year-old Finn who became an hero and the new Finnish champion on September 23rd 2008, beating Pekka-Eric Auvinen's Finnish record from 2007. Matti Saari (codename: Wumpscut) shot at least 10 unarmed girls at the School of Hospitality, a vocational college in Kauhajoki. Some old media first reported that he was still alive, but he managed to beat the game. He is considered to be the most famous Finn in over 9000 years, other than the Moomins.

Just like his idol, he posted similar YouTube videos of himself firing his gun some days before. According to Finnish media the local police had interrogated him on the nature of the videos just the day before but decided not to confiscate his weapon. JewTube deleted his videos a few hours after the shooting because people from a certain online community started viewing them.

He managed to get ten frags and one wounded, a new Finnish record! Original research showed that it was due to disappointment in the Olympics, unfortunately, school shooting is a national American Sport, not an Olympic sport. Some argue that Matti was inspired by two Finnish Olympic heroes, shooting medalists Satu Mäkelä-Nummela and Henri Häkkinen. Bonus points go out for trying to burn down the school.

Mr. Saari has done his part in promoting the recognition of Finland throughout the world.

School BRB

Kauhajoki school shooting

Just under a year after Pekka's rampage, Matti decided it was time to test his mettle and see if he could outdo his old friend at his own game. After gearing up he entered the Seinäjoki University of Applied Sciences through basement doors at around 10:30 and walked calmly into a classroom, shooting a school employee on the way and interrupting the students' exam. In the classroom, Matti acted aggressively towards the students, all of which were his classmates and would execute 10 of them before burning the whole classroom to ashes. Seeing as Matti used a shitty 22. it's safe to assume some of the severely wounded students ultimately died due to the fire or smoke inhalation, making for some truly terrible last moments. One of the victims had been shot through the head twice, but magically recovered. Another 10 were injured during evacuation.

Meeting little to no resistance Matti killed his victims in around 10 minutes, and after setting the school ablaze he ran around the school, shooting out every window he came across and throwing molotovs while waiting for police. When police arrived around 30 minutes after Matti entered the school, they were forced to retreat and call for backup after being shot at. During this time, Matti continued to hide around the campus before calling his friend Rauno to confess to the shooting and say goodbye. At 12:13 he was captured after having shot himself in the head, succumbing to his wound 4 hours later.

Class Setup
Item	Accessories/Bonus
Primary: Walther P22 Target	His trusty sidearm. He owned a matching scope and suppressor but they were not used in the attack. 20~30 Damage
Secondary: Molotov cocktails	50~75 Damage

• 
  Where it all took place.
• 
  The burned-out crime scene. Upon arrival, police could only identify one victim as the rest were too charred.
• 
  Matti and his classmate/friend Marko Koskinen. Matti shot Marko 25 times during the shooting.
• 
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  Matti's last stand against da popo.
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  Matti being wheeled out of the school, critically injured.
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  The true perpetrator of this attack.
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  Matti's drip. "The clothing worn on the island depicted on the mannequin. Saari's clothing from the back."
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  A memorial to Matti's rampage.

YouTube Channel

Like all modern an heroes, Matti had a YouTube channel. A few days before the shooting he uploaded some videos of him shooting. The police interrogated him because of that, but decided he's the right kind of a guy to be carrying lethal weapons.

Wumpscut86
Joined: March 14, 2008
Last Sign In: 3 hours ago
Videos Watched: 3,774
Subscribers: 42
Channel Views: 66,410


Name: Mr. Saari
Age: 22
And suddenly there was war we didn't remember it
A long time forgotten there suddenly was war
And suddenly there was war our children are dead
Burnt in the ruins that were left by war

War

And suddenly there was war and the mothers they screamed
For revenge and reprisals for another war
And suddenly and suddenly
And suddenly there was war with spoiling and death
And you fight alone if there's another war

Whole life is war and whole life is pain
And you will fight alone in your personal war

War

This is war!
City: Kauhajoki
Country: Finland
Interests and Hobbies: Computers, guns, sex and beers.
Movies and Shows: Horror movies like Saw 1-3, The Grudge, The Shining etc.
Music: Eisbrecher, Scar Symmetry, Soilwork, :Wumpscut:, Gloria Morti, In Flames, Rammstein, Metallica, Kiuas, Turmion Kätilöt etc. 

MySpace

Oh noes!

YouTube videos

You Will Die Next Me and my Walther P22 Target Goodbye Target practice video Target practice video Target practice video Previous Video | Next Video

Internet dating

Jewtube screencap

It seems like Matti Saari was trying to date online. He listed his interests as "computers" and drums. On his YouTube profile he listed computers, weapons, beer and sex as his interests. (There is no evidence that he ever had sex with anyone other than his mitten).

Google translation of his online dating profile:

wumpscut86 - 22 years old, Male, hometown Erode
The man Offline - the last on-line mode, 23.08.2008 22:54
Profile Photos Guest Book
Heipä hey!
Please contact your profile

Length 172 cm
Weight 70 kg
Eye color blue
Hair: Brown
Bodily structure Normal
Children No Children
I want children I do not
Marital status Single
Sexual orientation Hetero Sexual
Occupation Student
Commuting Students
ANNUAL 0-10 000 €
Ethnicity Suomalainen
Astrological Sign: bullfighting
Province of South Ostrobothnia
City or county Howick


Heipä hey!

Hobbies
Shooting (Walther P22 Target <3), computers and drums.
Musical taste
Mostly heavier music I listen, but everything goes.
Cinemas
Horror of horror.
Dress Code
I do not follow fashion
Tenure
Alone
Pets
Cat

In an ideal partner
Female Sex
Age 16-25
Length 150-180 cm
Weight 50-85 kg
Children No Children
I want children I do not
Marital status Single
Sexual orientation Hetero Sexual
Province of South Ostrobothnia
City or county Howick

Your next overused meme!

Evidence of being a retard

Last Thursday, the Finnish police have released a report titled "Laboratorioanalyysijatodisteidenpsyykkinenhäiriövuonnasaari" (the Finnish word for "Laboratory Analysis and Evidence of Mental Disorders in Mr. Saari"). In the report, Mr. Saari was deemed legally retarded; the reasons cited were:

• Mr. Saari liked "Saw"
• Mr. Saari liked "Saw II"
• Mr. Saari liked "Saw III"
• Mr. Saari was swedish

The fact that Mr. Saari did not mention liking "Saw IV" or "Saw V" was not considered mitigating evidence, as those films were made after 2005, and no movies reach Finland until 5 years after they opened in American theaters.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count:	10/20 Beat his fellow Finnish Friend's score.
Accuracy:	18/20 1 Injured.
Style:	15/20
Butthurt:	18/20
Bonus:	20/20 Torched the victims' bodies.
Total Score: 81/100 (B)

Nothing special. Buried and forgotten. See full ranking

Wanted Level:

S.W.A.T. Team

Videos

Matti's theme song YouTube vid about the shooting Surveillance of Matti Bystander video Mini documentary Interview with his mom Random Finn talking about the shooting News coverage that contains a bit of his Walther P22 target video a gay ass parody video A Tribute Video Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

• 
  In better times.
• 
• 
• 
  Long lost twin brother?
• 
  Mr. Saari's photo was digitally aged to reveal what he would look like at 45.
• 
• 
  No, U!
• 
• 
  Enjoying a vacation.
• 
  Enjoying a party.
• 
  Enjoying a trip to the pub.
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
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  Anon friend of Matti's ex-gf. Told news agencies about Matti's alleged e-mail relationship with Pekka for clout.
• 
  His crib.
• 
  Outside.
• 
  Matti's balcony door a few hours after the shooting. Damn teenagers!
• 
  RIP
• 
• 
  In the news.
• 
• 
  Shitty fan art
• 
  Shitty fan art
• 
• 

See Also

• An Hero
• Anton Lundin Pettersson - Another Scandinavian who went for the high score - with a sword.
• Dmitry Vinogradov - Russian version
• Petri Gerdt - Kid who blew up a mall six years earlier in Finland.
• Finland
• Pekka-Eric Auvinen - Saari's IRL buddy, who went postal the year before.
• Noah Esbensen - Matti's bastard son.
• Dane Cook HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

External Links

• http://bf2s.com/player/43568962/ - Battlefield 2 profile
• YouTube Channel (deleted) MIRROR
• http://rs245.rapidshare.com/files/147625012/Massacre_in_Kauhajoki_Matti_Saari.zip - Pack of lulz
• http://kimmo.org/kauhajoki/ - Files!
• Archive of some of his videos in better quality.
• FindaGrave (Wayback Machine)

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