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| <center>[[Image:Keyboard.jpg|800px|According to scientists, this is the
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| keyboard layout of most /b/tards.]]</center>
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| [[Image:Onehandedkeyboard.jpg|thumb|Optimized for use on [[4chan]]]]
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| [[Image:RemingtonKeyboard.jpg|thumb|How your [[lemonparty|grandfather]] accessed the internet]]
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| [[Image:TAY.gif|thumb|A master of his craft]]
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| [[Image:Gay_keyboard.jpg|thumb|This keyboard appears to be [[gay]]]]
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| How the left hand knows [[masturbate|what the right one is doing]]. A '''keyboard''' is the device that allows people to [[shot web]] with their computer, from goading [[Stickam]] whores into a shoe on head to [[screencap]]ping your TOW vandalism before some butthurt [[sysop]] kills all the funny with a revert. It is typically utilized with one hand, although [[jameth|some]] use their [[dong]] to do the job, and occasionally two hands in tandem after they’ve finished wiping the [[semen]] off of their LCD display.
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| The keyboard design comes from a [[drama]]-generating tool invented back when the [[white]] man still owned black persons, known as a typewriter. People such as [[Mark Twain]] and the [[Lincoln Continental]] used this device to crudely forge their [[flame war]]s and suicide notes out of ink and dead trees. The step between paper mail and the internet was an invention known as the telegraph, the [[IRL]] precursor to [[IRC|text-only chat]] that expressed everything in primitive [[ASCII]], known as Morse.
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| '''Morse code''': <big>-.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / .- / -. .. --. --. . .-. -.- .. -.- .</big>
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| '''Translation''': ''You are a niggerkike.''
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| A [[genius]] fusion of the two many years later yielded the modern day keyboard.
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| Besides the standard [[QWERTY]] layout, there also exists a different design known by [[virgin]]al geeks as '''Dvorak''' and by normal people as unusable and [[retarded]]. [[Linux]] fatasses and [[CSIII]] graduates like to argue about its superior design that allows one to hammer out sob-story LJ posts at 50+ WPM over their average. While this is technically true, the vast majority of internet users are mentally incapable of learning the alphabet, making the point utterly [[moot]].
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| ===Keyboards and Music===
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| Keyboard can also refer to the instrument played by the [[Keyboard Cat|least talented]] member of [[you]]r band. Some of these keyboards can plug into computers utilizing the infamous [[USB]] line, and [[Tay Zonday|when the two combine]], the end result can cause [[massive damage]] to the internet.
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| {{ytlink|BSebiP07YUQ|How to play the keyboard}}
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| ==Keyboards on ED==
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| *[[Keyboard cat]]
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| *[[Keyboard Crasher]]
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| *[[Keyboard warrior]]
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| *[[Keyboard Whore]]
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| *[[Typewriter]]
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| ==Keyboard Injuries==
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| [[Image:Ruptured_Blood_Vessel.jpg|left|thumb]]
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| Using a keyboard too much can result in injuries such as carpal tunnel syndrome, blood clots and blood vessel breakage. This hurts like a ''bitch'' and you can wind up as a keyboard cripple if you're not careful. Be sure to take adequate fap breaks to ensure you don't overwork your wrists and to maintain proper hand health.
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| In the event you're a dumbass and don't heed this advice, which results in a broken blood vessel, you should immediately stuff your wanking appendage into a bowl of super hot water and elevate it for a good thirty minutes in order to avoid the pain of feeling like you just got seriously jacked up by a hornet.
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| {{clear}}
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| ==Gallery==
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| <center>
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| <gallery>
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| File:Gold plated keyboard.jpg
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| </gallery>
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| </center>
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| ==See Also==
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| [[File:Keyboard Nigger.jpg|thumb|right|125px|When you see it...]]
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| *[[Mouse]]
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| *[[Typing with one hand]]
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| *[[get on irc fgt]]
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| *[[Typewriter]] - Keyboard without power.
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| {{disambig}}
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| {{why}}
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