War Machine - Revision history

imported>Lazygecko: /* Warmachine's perspective */

2017-10-30T02:48:13Z

Warmachine's perspective

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:48, 30 October 2017
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	==Warmachine's perspective==		==Warmachine's perspective==

	Warmachine missed taking his ex pornstar girlfriend down into submission, so he entered Christy's home with a [[unrealistic expectations\|marriage proposal]]. This is an obviously great idea because a Pornstar who already broke up with you is obviously wants to ~~make a commitment with~~ you. As the Alpha male silver-back opened the door, he grunted in surprise that a Beta male was riding on top of his girlfriend. Like any reasonable Gorilla, Warmachine mauled his mating rival in a "[[bullshit\|fight for his life]]" and dragged him out of Chrisy's home. Warmachine beat his chest in triumph. He turned his attention to his frightened mating target which was phoning 911 instead of submitting to be [[no\|happily engaged]]. Warmachine realized he isn't done [[lol wut\|fighting for his life]] and began pummeling, kicking, and stabbing Christy. Warmachine of course still loved her but he needed to assert dominance to get her back, which costs 18 broken bones, missing teeth, and other injuries. Warmachine was shining the [[knife\|engagement ring]] when the target of his affection had ran away into a neighbors yard. For some unknown reason the cops will not give him fair play or believe him, he was after-all just fighting for his life.		Warmachine missed taking his ex pornstar girlfriend down into submission, so he entered Christy's home with a [[unrealistic expectations\|marriage proposal]]. This is an obviously great idea because a Pornstar who already broke up with you obviously wants a committed marriage to you. As the Alpha male silver-back opened the door, he grunted in surprise that a Beta male was riding on top of his girlfriend. Like any reasonable Gorilla, Warmachine mauled his mating rival in a "[[bullshit\|fight for his life]]" and dragged him out of Chrisy's home. Warmachine beat his chest in triumph. He turned his attention to his frightened mating target which was phoning 911 instead of submitting to be [[no\|happily engaged]]. Warmachine realized he isn't done [[lol wut\|fighting for his life]] and began pummeling, kicking, and stabbing Christy. Warmachine of course still loved her but he needed to assert dominance to get her back, which costs 18 broken bones, missing teeth, and other injuries. Warmachine was shining the [[knife\|engagement ring]] when the target of his affection had ran away into a neighbors yard. For some unknown reason the cops will not give him fair play or believe him, he was after-all just fighting for his life.

	== Pwnt by 4chan ==		== Pwnt by 4chan ==
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	==His hatred of cops==		==His hatred of cops==
	{{quote\|Just drove by a Cop funeral…yeah, today’s gonna be a good day. #ACAB\|War Machine (@WarMachine170) September 4, 2013}}		{{quote\|Just drove by a Cop funeral…yeah, today’s gonna be a good day. #ACAB\|War Machine (@WarMachine170) September 4, 2013}}
	<center>{{embedded tweet\|https://twitter.com/WarMachine170/statuses/375339340403965952}}</center>		<center>{{embedded tweet\|https://twitter.com/WarMachine170/statuses/375339340403965952\|username=War Machine (Verified account)\|‏@=WarMachine170\|tweet=Cops are the great ENABLERS of evil government, they will enforce ANY law passed. Holocaust not possible without cops and the like. #TRUTH\|date=12:27 PM - 4 Sep 2013\|retweets=21\|favorites=15}}</center>

	==Gallery of why Jonathan wasn't enough for the whore==		==Gallery of why Jonathan wasn't enough for the whore==
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	*[http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/las-vegas/police-seek-mma-fighter-battery-case Rev Jew]		*[http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/las-vegas/police-seek-mma-fighter-battery-case Rev Jew]
	*[http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-dog-the-bounty-hunter-vows-to-hunt-down-mma-fighter-war-machine-20140813-story.html LA Times]		*[http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-dog-the-bounty-hunter-vows-to-hunt-down-mma-fighter-war-machine-20140813-story.html LA Times]


	{{whores}}		{{whores}}

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2014-10-18T15:24:27Z

External Links

← Older revision	Revision as of 15:24, 18 October 2014
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2014-10-18T15:24:27Z

External Links

← Older revision	Revision as of 15:24, 18 October 2014
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2014-10-18T15:24:27Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:24, 18 October 2014
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy: /* External Links */

2014-10-18T15:24:27Z

External Links

New page

[[Image:Christy-mack-beating-photos-war-machine-e1407867082130.jpg|thumb|right|She lost the match.]]
[[Image:War-machine.png|thumb|right|In his special power armor, ready to smack up a bitch.]]
[[Image:Imack.png|thumb|right|Now you too can pound Christy Mack!]]
{{twitter|WarMachine170}}, aka '''Jonathan Koppenhaver''', is a manlet [[beaner|Mexican]] [[MMA]] [[Internet tough guy|fighter]] who, on August 8th, 2014, showed off his incredible close quarters combat skill by [[Mytinydick.com|beating up a naked, cowering, unarmed woman]].

War Machine beat the shit out of his whore girlfriend {{twitter|ChristyMack}} so badly that she needed [[Over 9000|over $100,000]] in reconstructive surgery and dentistry. It happened because his pornstar girlfriend couldn't be satisfied by his dick, so while trying to rehearse a new scene Jonathan surprised her when she was busy getting rammed. Unsuspecting Jonathan didn't know that Christy was getting paid to suck dicks, so he of course righteously beat up the skank, so badly she'll perform perfect blowjobs as she doesn't have any fucking teeth.

==Warmachine's perspective==

Warmachine missed taking his ex pornstar girlfriend down into submission, so he entered Christy's home with a [[unrealistic expectations|marriage proposal]]. This is an obviously great idea because a Pornstar who already broke up with you is obviously wants to make a commitment with you. As the Alpha male silver-back opened the door, he grunted in surprise that a Beta male was riding on top of his girlfriend. Like any reasonable Gorilla, Warmachine mauled his mating rival in a "[[bullshit|fight for his life]]" and dragged him out of Chrisy's home. Warmachine beat his chest in triumph. He turned his attention to his frightened mating target which was phoning 911 instead of submitting to be [[no|happily engaged]]. Warmachine realized he isn't done [[lol wut|fighting for his life]] and began pummeling, kicking, and stabbing Christy. Warmachine of course still loved her but he needed to assert dominance to get her back, which costs 18 broken bones, missing teeth, and other injuries. Warmachine was shining the [[knife|engagement ring]] when the target of his affection had ran away into a neighbors yard. For some unknown reason the cops will not give him fair play or believe him, he was after-all just fighting for his life.

== Pwnt by 4chan ==
[[Image:Warmachine-pwnd-by-4chan.png|800px|center]]

== [[an hero|Suicide]] Attempt ==
[[Image:Warcmachinesuicide.png|thumb|left|[[alpha male|Alpha as fuck]]]]
On October 14th, 2014, Warmachine again [[Not_This_Shit_Again|attempted to fight himself]] while in jail awaiting trial. Taking no time to play around, he went straight for the [[Suicide#A_rope_is_fine_too|choke out]]. Unfortunately, the guard who had volunteered to ref the fight had to step in, as Warmachine's attempt to use linen as a weapon violated MMA rules. Warmachine was [[banned|disqualified]] from the fight and put on suicide watch. [[Some argue]] that Warmachine was trying to kill himself in order to avoid [[rape|prison rape]], while others speculate he was trying to get used to having little oxygen so he could [[fellatio|choke on his cell mate's dick]] for [[moar|longer periods of time.]]

==His hatred of cops==
{{quote|Just drove by a Cop funeral…yeah, today’s gonna be a good day. #ACAB|War Machine (@WarMachine170) September 4, 2013}}
<center>{{embedded tweet|https://twitter.com/WarMachine170/statuses/375339340403965952}}</center>

==Gallery of why Jonathan wasn't enough for the whore==
<center><gallery>
File:Christy Mack DP.jpg
File:Christy Mack Facial.jpg
File:Christy Mack Much Cum Facial.jpg
File:Christy Mack Fucked With Cum On Her Face.gif
</gallery></center>

==Related Articles==
*[[Rape]]
*[[MMA]]
*[[Tony Stark]] - War Machine's BFF.

==External Links==
{{twitter|ChristyMack}}<br />
{{twitter|WarMachine170}}<br />
*[http://www.xboxlivescore.com/profile/WarMachine170 his xbox account..]
*[https://www.blogger.com/profile/02988533996204637335 his jailblog]
*[http://espn.go.com/mma/story/_/id/11359413/fugitive-fighter-war-machine-captured-us-marshals lol pwnt]<br />
*[http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/11/christy-mack-hospitalized_n_5669191.html?utm_hp_ref=crime Huff Po]
*[http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/las-vegas/police-seek-mma-fighter-battery-case Rev Jew]
*[http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-dog-the-bounty-hunter-vows-to-hunt-down-mma-fighter-war-machine-20140813-story.html LA Times]

{{whores}}

[[Category:IRL Shit]]
[[Category:Rage]]
[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:People]]

{{timeline|Featured article October 20 & 21, [[2014]]|[[Tom Preston]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Tyler Malka]]}}