imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

2012-05-03T23:23:19Z

Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

← Older revision	Revision as of 23:23, 3 May 2012
(No difference)

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

2012-05-03T23:23:19Z

Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

← Older revision	Revision as of 23:23, 3 May 2012
(No difference)

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

2012-05-03T23:23:19Z

Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

← Older revision	Revision as of 23:23, 3 May 2012
(No difference)

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

2012-05-03T23:23:19Z

Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

New page

[[Image:smoke2.jpg|thumb|A student, shown leeching off of the system while inhaling pot.]]

'''Students are [[people|bums]] who do not have a proper [[job]], and yet don't want to admit to being [[unemployed]]''', in case this causes their [[parents]] to stop paying for their [[alcohol]]. They claim to be engaged in intellectual pursuits, but in fact most of them spend their time doing [[drugs]] and [[cyber sex|cybering]]. Student life is great for developing drug, tobacco and alcohol [[Hookers and Blow|addictions and perversions]]; it is generally accepted that, despite the best intentions, all your studying will only make you a [[pedophilia|fucked up]] [[drunk]], not unlike your current professors.

==Some different subject choices for students==
[[Image:Teacher killed by disturbed children.jpg|thumb|When Second-Grade students outsmart the [[faggot|substitute teacher]].]]
*[[Science]] - useful if you want to learn how to make your own [[drugs]].
*[[Computer Science III|Computer Science]] - useful if you want to be unemployed and do crack in the alley.
*Medicine - useful if you want to get ready-made [[drugs]] for free.
*[[Art]]s - the best choice if you can't think of what else to do because of all the drugs you've done (plus it has the advantage of rhyming with ''farts'') and you can't really study anything else because your genes have failed you.
*[[Math]] - because you really thought about ''[[meth]]''.
*[[Engineer]]- Great if you don't mind taking [[Computer Science III]] only to end up a [[virgin]] and a [[fail|failure]] even though you'll actually have the skills to earn good money and [[LOLWUT|wrestle Artfags to the floor]].
*[[Human]]ities - appropriate if you're a [[human]] and desire a career in pizza delivery. Unlike the pizza, however, you will not be able to feed a family after graduating.
*[[Philosophy]] - become a cultist of science, progress and all that shit. A philosopher's future prospects include cabby and part-time English teacher.
*[[Psychology]] - psychology is usually studied by someone who is batshit insane; this includes the faculty.
*[[sociology|Social Science]] - a.k.a. Manipulation for Weirdos: a cold and callous approach to the questions philosophy and psychology deal with. There is always work for manipulative [[jerk|jerks]], after all. Most social scientists grow up to be drug dealers and don't live lifestyles that even remotely resemble those of popular socialites.
*Commerce - good if you're a filthy [[capitalist]] [[prick]] <s>(this might actually lead you to a proper future earning big bucks)</s>. HAHAHAHA disregard that I suck Monopoly money and cocks.
*[[Music]] - [[hippy]] [[shit]]; totally pointless.
*Dentistry - good if you like causing pain, and provides good [[drugs|drug]] money (lol lots of money and drugs!).
*Veterinarian - heaven if you are a [[furry]] who likes to fuck animals.
*[[History]] - Good if your only talent is telling stories about [[shit nobody cares about|shit nobody cares about]] to nobody, because no one is listening.
*[[Internet Law|Law]] - full of people who [[h8|hate]] each other and want to claw their way to success. One of the most [[User Stress Syndrome|stressful]] and ungrateful kind of studies [[Kanye West|of all time]]. Paradoxically, it is considered to be one of the most [[Profit|profitable]] course of all the above.

==Student traditions==

* Students are typically [[gay]]. Sometimes they might feign [[heterosexual|heterosexuality]], but only to scam money and pot off of people.
* They leech, those lazy shits.
* They're [[liberal|P.C. fucktards]].
* They're [[terrorism|terrorists]] (1968).
* They're [[script kiddies]] (See also: [[Linus Torvalds]])

==Surviving Student Life==
When you first leave your parents' home to go to [[university]], things can be very frightening. It's not uncommon to experience [[homesickness]], [[anxiety]] and [[necrophilia]] at first. Remember that neither [[your mom]] nor [[Hitler]] is there to tell you to take a shower when you start to smell, so you need to make a note on your weekly timetable to remind you.

Many famous people have died while studying. Elvis was a [[anal sex|buttsex]] major when he [[shit|shat]] himself to [[death]]. [[Ann Coulter]]'s [[dead babies|dead fetus]] was studying [[republican|fascism]] when it splashed into the toilet. Most students however, die of [[AIDS]]. If you want to survive, plug your [[asshole]] with fossilized [[poor|peasants]].

==Students Are Smarter Than [[You]]==
[[Image:tankonpenis.jpg|thumb|A true an student hero]]
The vast majority of students are uppity [[rich and beautiful]] kids looking for an identity. They do this by taking on different progressive and enlightened roles, such as loudmouthed leftard, brain-fried hippy, or poseur communist, thinking that they are making the world a better place. They often like to engage in protests for things that aren't their [[SFB|fucking business]], such as [[Hugo Chavez|Venezuelan elections]], Nukular warfare and [[the children in Africa]]. More commonly, however, they like to pretend to be radical and spew on about Herbert Marcuse's brilliant analysis of the modern way of life, but are too lazy to actually do shit. This is just another way of convincing people that there is nothing wrong with you wasting your life on pot and booze.

Students flock to [[TOW]] like flies to dogshit as their burnout professors fill them with the undeniable enlightenment of the universe. Young and headstrong, they make for fiery combatants in Wikiwars and will vehemently defend the unequivocal knowledge that they just learned in their Sociology 201 class. Just like books and the internet, college is an undeniable fact-generating machine. It must be, otherwise your parents wouldn't be shelling out $100,000 for you to chug jungle juice there every weekend.

[[Richard Nixon]] proved that the most effective way to deal with students is to shoot them with bullets. Nothing shuts up a loudmouth Berkley know-it-all like some hot, steaming [[shotgun mouthwash]]. This has also proved to be an effective tactic by another very similar empire in [http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1761062858590826090&pr=goog-sl| Tienanmen Square] China 1989.

[[Category: Faggotry]]
[[Category: Epithets]]
[[Category: People]]

{{stub}}

{{education}}

Student - Revision history

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)

imported>Rafez: Undo revision 365122 by Rafez (talk)