imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

2012-01-03T17:43:18Z

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imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

2012-01-03T17:43:18Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:43, 3 January 2012
(No difference)

imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

2012-01-03T17:43:18Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:43, 3 January 2012
(No difference)

imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

2012-01-03T17:43:18Z

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{{notice|This [[shit|Article]] began as a huge [[dong]]sucking affair allegedly set up by Splongcat. Gradually it has became more like the acerbic criticism people know and love ED for. Then shockingly [[ediot|someone]] decided they thought Splongcat was British as the [[ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT|subtitles]] that had been [[troll|added]] to a program originally shown on French TV named the person that made the London "Call to Action" Video as Splongcat. Sadly the person who made these [[not|contributions]] fails to realize that the person's nick was shown and named, and it wasn't Splongcat. All of which is rather hilarious.}}

 

[[Image:SplongcatDutchRaid.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Splongcat attention whoring.]]

SpLongCat is an [[attention whore]]. He was said to have been formed from the [[fail|holy meeting]] between [[Britney Spears]] and Kevin Federline, hence the [[Down Syndrome]]. He takes his name from the combination of [[Speedycat]] and [[Longcat]], the [[Sex|crossbreeding]] of which is akin to [[Divide_by_zero|dividing by zero]].

==Summary==

[[Image:SplongcatIRL3.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Hai Guise! I'm ur leader!]]

'''Splongcat''' is a [[notability|notable]] Anon [[namefag]] known for his [[attention whore|desperateness for attention]]. [[some argue|Some believe]] he is one of the most retarded and hated /i/nsurgents in the history of [http://partyvan.info PartyVan] and the raid [[IRC]] servers. As a result of an [[Splongcat#Splongcat.27s_Fail_DDoS_on_Netherlands_School|extremely poorly executed raid]] he became a laughing stock of the world. In fact, nobody really likes Splongcat, or did to begin with. He [[lies|claims]] to be the [[unwarranted self importance|oldest of the]] [[Oldfag|oldfags]], but fails even harder than most [[newfag|newfags]].

== History of Failure ==

Splongcat took credit [[lies|for many exploits and vulnerabilities that are found on milw0rm]]. With his initial involvement in the early [[Scientology]] raids he set himself apart from other Anons as the epitome of [[Fail|epic fail]] through namefaggotry and making wild claims. [[Faggot|He]] [[CSIII|is said to have a strong programming background]], knowing how to print hello world in [[perl]] AND [[HTML]]. Taking on the [[Olympic_Torch|torch]] for one raid, Splongcat has taken on outside [[raids|projects]] for more [[fail|epic fail]], most notably for trying to emulate MrHands.mpg. Splongcat also played a large role in the War on [[Subeta]], setting up Longcat flooder servers, distributing raid packs, and organizing various chans.
Thus far, Splongcat [[shit nobody cares about|has proven un-v&able]] and has been noted for being an excellent [[Attention Whore|fraud]]. Splongcat gained [[E-fame|notoriety]] not so much for his [[Fail|AMAZING]] coding skills, but the fact that he continues to defy logic by [[Faggotry|sucking and blowing]] at the same time.

[[Image:SplongcatIRL4.jpg|thumb|300px|right|You don't say?!]]

== Splongcat Fails Hard Against [[$cientology]] ==

black person has proven a nonentity in the success of the recent raids on the Church of $cientology. When he heard about the epic raid commencing, he instantly got his [[shit]] together and threw it at the cause. Having proven [[Splongcat|himself]] a complete [[fail|failure]] in the past, many [[newfag|newfags]] - relying on his superior [[bullshit|bullshitting]] - teamed with Splongcat to attempt to engage the Church of Scientology in battle. Splongcat made surgical efforts during the early raids on the Scifags to [[unwarranted self importance|publicize]] himself for supposedly having [[h4x]]ed the [[CoS]] and grabbing sekrit [[Scifag]] dox. As it turns out he [[epic fail|downloaded them from ThePirateBay and uploaded them on mediafire]].
Currently, Splongcat is helping organize a team of [[newfags]] to develop more web-based attacks on the Church of Scientology. [[CSIII|Using his experience]] with editing text files and WinRAR, he plans to distribute the same version of Longcat Flooder over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

==Splongcat's Fail DDoS on Netherlands School==
[[Image:SplongcatIRL5.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Something you will never be...]]
Tired of all the DDoS, [[Scientology|Co$]] made [[Mantrain|bedfellows]] with [http://www.prolexic.com/ Prolexic] in an secret chamber hidden behind [[7 proxies]]!!!!11!!onehundredandeleven!! All seemed lost and there was much wailing & gnashing of Anonymous teeth. Then, on 1/25/08 ([[never forget|neva 4get]]), Splongcat, acting on the tipoff of a [[friend]], [[lie|claimed]] to [[demon|possess]] Co$'s new IP address! Hooray! But before the celebratory [[hookers and blow]] could be sent for, it was discovered that Anon was crashin' a school in the Netherlands[http://www.ettyhillesumlyceum.nl/centraal/algemeen/] while Co$ and Prolexic, grinning, smoked cigarettes and licked each other's post-coital [[STD|drip]] unharmed.

{{quote|'''The [[loli|Etty Hillesum Lyceum's]] site seemed to quickly recover, and Splongcat [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS|apologized]] to fellow [[skiddies]] for simply taking his friend's [[lie|word]] and not checking the IP address before unleashing the software.[http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/01/anonymous-hacke.html]'''|Ryan Singel, '''[http://www.wired.com/ Wired.com]''' contributer and famous dongcollector}}

==Splongcat's Memewhoring of Dutch Scientology Org==

Unfortunately, Splongcats long list of [[fail|exploits]] are not limited to [[Internet|online encounters]]. He attended the 2/10 protest in Amsterdam, Netherlands, [[Meme|memewhoring]] the [[Scientology]] Org; something Anons were [[No|told not to do]]. Worse yet, several media reports used the picture at the top of this article as the iconic image of the raid, giving Splongcat a [[Epenis|boner]] the size of New Mexico. On top of ''that'', some fucking idiot used a cap of Splongcat holding up a Xenu.net sign as the dramatic "Amsterdam" moment in the Road To February 10th video. From the beginning of [[Chanology]], Splongcat set himself up as one of the 'leaders' of Dutchfags, sitting in the IRC channel pretty much 24/7. A few days after 2/10, another Dutchfag called him out on his [[Script_kiddie|hacking skills]]. The [[TLDR|huge batch of documents]] Splongcat had released were [[Lie|just old stuff gathered from the web]]. While Splongcat admitted this, he still tried to [[BAW|play the victim]]. Soon afterward, Splongcat [[Epic_fail|failed hard]] over the [[Lie|0T9 dox]], at which point he disappeared from IRC completely. When Splongcat didn't show up for Party Hard, the other Dutchfag organizers were looking around confused, saying "Hey, Splongcat isn't here!" - "Your point being?" - "Yeah, you're right. Yay, Splongcat isn't here!" None of the Dutchfags have heard from him since. And nothing of value was lost.

==Splongcat's Fail Revenge==
[[Image:SplongcatIRL1.jpg|thumb|300px|right|Splongcat wonders why he keeps failing so hard]]
During the weekend of [[Caturday]], 29 March, many [http://www.not420chan.com 420chan] and [http://www.711chan.org 711chan] /i/diots erupted in [[BAW|BAAAW]] against the "[[Moralfag|moralfags]]" and "[[Lulzkiller|lulzkillers]]" of [[Project Chanology]]. Their stated goal was to flood and DDoS [http://www.enturbulation.org/ Enturbulation.org] and [http://www.315chan.org/ 315chan.org]. While many 315chan threads were flooded out of existence, their raid [[epic fail|failed miserably]] due to [[:File:I_failraid.jpg|t9 swapping the raid pack]] on [http://www.partyvan.info PartyVan] with one that pointed the DDoS to the IP's of 420chan's own server, the fact that 315chan is hosted on the same server as PartyVan, and the fact that flooding an imageboard is like [[Piss|pissing in an ocean of piss]]. It was found out [[Last Thursday]] that Splongcat started it[http://forums.enturbulation.org/showpost.php?p=121059&postcount=33][http://www.not420chan.com/i/res/121854.html].

{{squote|So whats this about? Is someone trying to personal army newfags on /i/?|r00tdenied|}}

{{squote|Its Splongcat who started this. I'm not shitting you. I checked out the IRC channel and it was him pretty much trying to call the shots. Same thing on /i/. He was bragging on about how he did ''all of this'' and ''all of that'' in the /i/ thread. He started the /i/ thread. You could tell it was him, because since the beginning you can tell his writing apart from another anon. He always had this aura of heightened self-importance.

He's using anon as a personal army to spray his vengeance on us because we told him to shut the fuck up with the attention whoring when he started bragging about purportedly hacked OT9 documents.|David Miscarriage}}

Upon learning of this, many [[Project Chanology|Chanologists]] let [[Scientology|OSA]] know that Splongcat is the super sekret [[Oxymoron|Leader of Anonymous]][http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/150b71e38e7fff19/77c710d7e342d025] they have been looking for.

* Hilariously some [[WE ARE NOT ANONYMOUS|non-anonymous]] [[idiot|participants]] fell for this obvious troll hook, line and sinker - which explains a great deal about some of the [[Special:Contributions/Hunter_S._Thompsanon|contents of this article]].
 
{{quote|If it's not him, then that just ruins this whole article I've been writing on ED|<big>[[User:Hunter_S._Thompsanon|Hunter SThompsanon]]</big>}}
 


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{{squote|At 2 minutes in, Splongcat, who previously claimed on Enturbulation to have the top secret OTIX documents, claims on French TV to have started Project Chanology.

Splongcat is the leader of Anonymous OSA has been looking for.

Splongcat, 16, who also goes by the name of UNCLE_JIM_BOB and lives in London England, owns several pets.

If Splongcat were to be discovered and fair gamed, Chanology would effectively end and all the entheta would be stopped. This is because Anonymous' leader would have been found out and discovered.

This cannot happen.

To all Anonymous reading this, whatever you do, do not post information about Splongcat, 16, of London, England and certainly do not inform Scientology of the name/location/age/schedule/hobbies of our leader who has used French TV for self-aggrandizement.

The leader of Anonymous, who goes by the name of Splongcat, and lives in London England, must be protected at all costs.

That is all.|[[Anon]] - [[troll|trolling]] OSA}}

==Gallery==

{{cg|Screencaps|screencapgallery|center|<gallery>
Image:SplongcatIRC122.jpg|Picatta tried to warn him...
Image:SplongcatIRC122_1.jpg|Splongcat namefagging up the place in #insurgency on 1/22
Image:SplongcatDutchRaid1.jpg|Splongcat at Dutch 2/10 with his back turned
Image:SplongcatDutchRaid2.jpg|Splongcat at Dutch 2/10 hidden by flyers
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Splongcat420.jpg|420 /i/ thread started by Splongcat[http://www.not420chan.com/i/res/121854.html]
Image:i_failraid.jpg|t9 describes how hard /i/ failed
Image:Splongcat-samefags.png|Splongcat samefags during his attempt to personal army /i/ against project chanology.
</gallery>
|}}

==External Links==
* [http://www.ettyhillesumlyceum.nl/centraal/algemeen/ The loli who were raeped] -- [[Pedobear]] approves of their slideshow
* [http://frontpage.fok.nl/nieuws/87615 Dutch Newspaper: Wereldwijde demonstraties tegen Scientology -- Worldwide demonstration against Scientology]
* [http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/01/anonymous-hacke.html Wired.com Blog Article]
* [http://www.not420chan.com/i/res/121854.html 420chan /i/ thread]
* [http://forums.enturbulation.org/showthread.php?t=6692 Enturbulation.org Thread]
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbWX8I9Qq5U Anonymous on Tracks -- Channel ARTE France part 1 of 2]
* [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/150b71e38e7fff19/77c710d7e342d025 Anonymous' leader must be protected -- alt.religion.scientology]

==See Also==

*[[Moralfags]]

{{stub}}
{{chans}}
{{scientology}}
{{Leaders of Anonymous}}

[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Trolls]]

Splongcat - Revision history

imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012

imported>Typhoon at 17:43, 3 January 2012