Somalia - Revision history

imported>ElSegCunt at 22:10, 4 January 2019

2019-01-04T22:10:23Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:10, 4 January 2019
Line 3:		Line 3:
	[[Image:somali.gif\|thumb\|right\|Not your typical Somali.]]		[[Image:somali.gif\|thumb\|right\|Not your typical Somali.]]
	[[Image:Afriiika.jpg\|left\|thumb\|The Official conference Hall of Somalia]]		[[Image:Afriiika.jpg\|left\|thumb\|The Official conference Hall of Somalia]]
	[[Image:Pirate Flag of Rack Rackham.png\|left\|thumb\|The flag of Somalia]]		[[Image:Pirate Flag of Rack Rackham.png\|left\|thumb\|The flag of [https://treasureislandmedia.com/ Somalia]]]

	~~Lol Somalia steal [[Arab]] boatse~~ [[Image:SiriusPiracy.jpg\|thumb\|A traditional Somali bank]]		[[Image:SiriusPiracy.jpg\|thumb\|A traditional Somali bank]]

	'''Somalia''' is a country in [[Africa]] which had enjoyed [[anarchy]] for the past [[at least 100\|several]] years, with predictably fantastic results including an average life expectancy of 48. This is hardly surprising though, as the country had been controlled by [[communist]] [[fucktards]] ~~previously~~. The nation's exports include [https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/so.html hides, charcoal, and scrap metal]. The official national pastimes are [[violence]], [[pirate\|stealing ships]], and goat herding, though a recent referendum suggested that [[rape]] should also be included. The referendum was struck down on the grounds that the most popular form of rape in the area was already implied by the reference to [[bestiality\|goat herding]]. As Somalia had no government, it ~~is used to be~~ the [[Libertarian]]s favorite country and what they ~~want~~ the world to be like. ~~Then~~, all the ~~wonderful~~ anarchy came to an end when [[Islam]]ist Mujahideen took control and ~~restored order~~. But the peace and quiet was not to last: A Jew-backed ~~Westernized~~ government created, financed, and armed by none other than America is currently ~~taking control of~~ the country and <s>fucking</s> liberating it, causing resistance from Islamists who ~~won't bend over~~ to ~~Jew slaves~~. So there you have it: another country's legitimate government overthrown in favor of puppets. Be sure to search on [[Liveleak]] for ~~death~~ and [[lulz]].		'''Somalia''' is a country in [[Africa]] which had enjoyed [[anarchy]] for the past [[at least 100\|several]] years, with predictably fantastic results including an average life expectancy of 48. This is hardly surprising, though, as the country had been previously controlled by [[communist]] [[fucktards]] AND is majority peaceful{{muslim}}. The nation's exports include [https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/so.html hides, charcoal, and scrap metal]. The official national pastimes are [[violence]], [[pirate\|stealing ships]], and goat herding, though a recent referendum suggested that [[rape]] should also be included. The referendum was struck down on the grounds that the most popular form of rape enjoyed in the area was already implied by the reference to [[bestiality\|goat herding]]. As Somalia had no government, it was the [[Libertarian]]s' favorite country and what they wanted the rest of world to be like. However, all the sweet anarchy came to an end when [[Islam]]ist Mujahideen took control and the sensible and reasonable Sharia law. But the peace and quiet was not to last: An [[Jew\|Illuminati]]-backed government, created, financed, and armed by none other than America is currently extending its tentacles all around the country and <s>fucking</s> liberating it, causing resistance from Islamists who refuse to eat bacon or stop raping goats. So there you have it: another country's legitimate government overthrown in favor of puppets. Be sure to search on [[Liveleak]] for hilarious explosions and [[lulz]].

	==Currency==		==Currency==
	Between 1995 and 1999 the Somalis underwent a gradual transformation of their currency from the Pint of [[Santorum]] (5,~~000~~ per US dollar) to the more recent Well-Sized Log of [[Shit]] (2,620 per US dollar). For several months hopes were high that the much-anticipated Polished ~~Cow~~ Turd would go into circulation as the new official currency, but, upon (accurate) consideration that the economy would collapse under the strain of mass-producing such a volume of a luxury item, the Used ~~Square of~~ Toilet Paper (11,000 per US dollar) was instead adopted in 2000.		Between 1995 and 1999 the Somalis underwent a gradual transformation of their currency from the Pint of [[Santorum]] (6,500 per US dollar) to the more recent Well-Sized Log of [[Shit]] (2,620 per US dollar). For several months, hopes were high that the much-anticipated Polished Hyena Turd would go into circulation as the new official currency, but, upon (accurate) consideration that the economy would collapse under the strain of mass-producing such a volume of a luxury item, the Used Toilet Paper Square (11,000 per US dollar) was instead adopted in 2000.

	When the new Somali government re-established the Central Bank of Somalia, ~~they~~ decided to put ~~the~~ Somalia's traditional currency, the Somali shilling, back into circulation. As they were too dirt-poor to print their own fucking money, they had to ~~send rich businessmen to buy and import them from~~ [[Canadia\|Canada]], starting with a [[Irony\|ship]]ment of 30 billion shillings ($10 US dollars).		When the new Somali government re-established the Central Bank of Somalia, it decided to put Somalia's traditional currency, the Somali shilling, back into circulation. As they were too dirt-poor to print their own fucking money, they had to beg [[Canadia\|Canada]] to print some for them, starting with a [[Irony\|ship]]ment of 30 billion shillings ($10 US dollars).

	==Pirating==		==Pirating==
	[[File:Somalianpirate.png\|thumb\|right\|Do what you want, 'cause a [[pirate]] is free...]]		[[File:Somalianpirate.png\|thumb\|right\|Do what you want, 'cause a [[pirate]] is free...]]
	Somalis are today's [[pirate]]s. But they don't look like the pirates in those fucking gay kiddie stories or hunt buried treasure, they ~~do it~~ for an entirely different reason: Their nigger-run country is so fucked up, even their new Jew-supported government and its Amerofag-supplied Army and Police cannot change the fact that it everyone and his mom is running around with an [[AK-47]] prepared to die for [[Islam]]~~, the~~ country is shittier than [[~~Mexico~~]], and ~~that it~~ is ~~unstable, poor, and~~ violent ~~even by the standards of~~ other African countries. But, thanks to it being near the Suez Canal, its waters are some of the busiest in the world. About 20,000 ships go through each year. These ships, big or small, come from all over the world. Some are even owned by other African ~~coountries~~ which are less ~~poor~~ and better-off than ~~the Somalis. Some even started fishing and dumping waste~~. For years, the Somalis lived in a constant state of violence, poverty, and despair. But from their now-toxic beaches, they could watch as the world's wealth passed by - it was almost liek waving a steak in front of a chained-up ~~Homer Simpson~~. Then, it finally ~~hit~~ those dumb niggers what to do. ~~Now, the world~~ is forced to send a bunch of cool-ass navy vessels to try to spoil the fun, but they still manage to steal liek 40 ships a year. Meanwhile, those fucking dumb business ~~ownerss~~ simply don't realize it would be better to either arm the crews or re-route. They're not scary pirates, they are ~~mainly~~ just ~~scallies~~ on boats.		Somalis are today's [[pirate]]s. But they don't look like the pirates in those fucking [[Disney\|gay]] kiddie stories or hunt buried treasure: they practice piracy for an entirely different reason. Their nigger-run country being so fucked up, even their new Jew-supported government and its Amerofag-supplied Army and Police cannot change the fact that everyone and his mom is running around with an [[AK-47]] prepared to die for [[Bullshit\|Islam]]. The country is shittier than [[Cuba]], has [[goatse]]d itself repeatedly, and is even more violent than other African countries. But, thanks to it being near the Suez Canal, its waters are some of the busiest in the world. About 20,000 ships go through each year. These ships, big or small, come from all over the world. Some are even owned by other African countries which are less shitty and better-off than Somalia. For years, the Somalis lived in a constant state of violence, poverty, and despair. But from their now-toxic beaches, they could watch as the world's wealth passed by - it was almost liek waving a steak in front of a chained-up Eric Cartman after skipping a meal. Then, it finally occurred to those dumb niggers what to do. The international community is now forced to send a bunch of cool-ass navy vessels to try to spoil the fun on the Somali coast, but they still manage to steal liek 40 ships a year. Meanwhile, those fucking dumb business owners simply don't realize it would be better to either arm the crews or re-route. They're not scary pirates, they are just typical niggers on boats with [[RPG]]s.

	==Other ~~lulz~~==		==Other Lulz==
	Much of the country was recently [[pwned]] by [[Arab]]s. This was a major setback to U.S.-backed [[terrorism\|counter-terrorism]] efforts and caused President [[Bush]] to cry and demand that [[Dick Cheney]] fetch his blankie now.		Much of the country was recently [[pwned]] by [[Arab]]s. This was a major setback to U.S.-backed [[terrorism\|counter-terrorism]] efforts and caused President [[Bush]] to cry and demand that [[Dick Cheney]] fetch his blankie now.

Line 68:		Line 68:
	<i>(gunshot, song ends abruptly)</i>		<i>(gunshot, song ends abruptly)</i>

	==Somalia ~~the libertarian paradise~~==		==Somalia: Libertarian Paradise==
	[[File:Niggerpresident.jpg\|thumb\|Somalia is a libertarian's wet dream]]		[[File:Niggerpresident.jpg\|thumb\|Somalia is a libertarian's wet dream]]
	<center><youtube>7QDv4sYwjO0</youtube></center>		<center><youtube>7QDv4sYwjO0</youtube></center>

	==Why ~~does~~ Somalia ~~fail so much~~?==		==Why Does Somalia Fail So Much?==

	*They don't care.		*They don't care.
	*They live on the coast but they [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taboo_food_and_drink#Fish wont eat fish]		*They live on the coast but they [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taboo_food_and_drink#Fish wont eat fish].
	*They are Niggers		*They are Niggers.
	*They are Muslims		*They are Muslims.
	*They are [[Obama\|Muslim Nigger Socialists]]		*They are [[Obama\|Muslim Nigger Socialists]].

	==How to get 100 Somalis into a phone booth==		==How to get 100 Somalis into a phone booth==

imported>CHRYSLERME412: /* Pirating */

2015-06-06T16:05:14Z

Pirating

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:05, 6 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>CHRYSLERME412: /* Pirating */

2015-06-06T16:05:14Z

Pirating

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:05, 6 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>CHRYSLERME412: /* Pirating */

2015-06-06T16:05:14Z

Pirating

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:05, 6 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>CHRYSLERME412: /* Pirating */

2015-06-06T16:05:14Z

Pirating

New page

{{Spoiler|text=[http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_933.html AMERICA], [http://www.voyage.gc.ca/countries_pays/report_rapport-eng.asp?id=269000 CANADA], [http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/travelling-and-living-overseas/travel-advice-by-country/sub-saharan-africa/somalia BRITAN], [http://www.smartraveller.gov.au/zw-cgi/view/Advice/Somalia AUSTRALIA] AND PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE ALL SAY THE SAME THING: GTFO SOMALIA!}}

[[Image:somali.gif|thumb|right|Not your typical Somali.]]
[[Image:Afriiika.jpg|left|thumb|The Official conference Hall of Somalia]]
[[Image:Pirate Flag of Rack Rackham.png|left|thumb|The flag of Somalia]]

Lol Somalia steal [[Arab]] boatse [[Image:SiriusPiracy.jpg|thumb|A traditional Somali bank]]

'''Somalia''' is a country in [[Africa]] which had enjoyed [[anarchy]] for the past [[at least 100|several]] years, with predictably fantastic results including an average life expectancy of 48. This is hardly surprising though, as the country had been controlled by [[communist]] [[fucktards]] previously. The nation's exports include [https://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/so.html hides, charcoal, and scrap metal]. The official national pastimes are [[violence]], [[pirate|stealing ships]], and goat herding, though a recent referendum suggested that [[rape]] should also be included. The referendum was struck down on the grounds that the most popular form of rape in the area was already implied by the reference to [[bestiality|goat herding]]. As Somalia had no government, it is used to be the [[Libertarian]]s favorite country and what they want the world to be like. Then, all the wonderful anarchy came to an end when [[Islam]]ist Mujahideen took control and restored order. But the peace and quiet was not to last: A Jew-backed Westernized government created, financed, and armed by none other than America is currently taking control of the country and <s>fucking</s> liberating it, causing resistance from Islamists who won't bend over to Jew slaves. So there you have it: another country's legitimate government overthrown in favor of puppets. Be sure to search on [[Liveleak]] for death and [[lulz]].

==Currency==
Between 1995 and 1999 the Somalis underwent a gradual transformation of their currency from the Pint of [[Santorum]] (5,000 per US dollar) to the more recent Well-Sized Log of [[Shit]] (2,620 per US dollar). For several months hopes were high that the much-anticipated Polished Cow Turd would go into circulation as the new official currency, but, upon (accurate) consideration that the economy would collapse under the strain of mass-producing such a volume of a luxury item, the Used Square of Toilet Paper (11,000 per US dollar) was instead adopted in 2000.

When the new Somali government re-established the Central Bank of Somalia, they decided to put the Somalia's traditional currency, the Somali shilling, back into circulation. As they were too dirt-poor to print their own fucking money, they had to send rich businessmen to buy and import them from [[Canadia|Canada]], starting with a [[Irony|ship]]ment of 30 billion shillings ($10 US dollars).

==Pirating==
[[File:Somalianpirate.png|thumb|right|Do what you want, 'cause a [[pirate]] is free...]]
Somalis are today's [[pirate]]s. But they don't look like the pirates in those fucking gay kiddie stories or hunt buried treasure, they do it for an entirely different reason: Their nigger-run country is so fucked up, even their new Jew-supported government and its Amerofag-supplied Army and Police cannot change the fact that it everyone and his mom is running around with an [[AK-47]] prepared to die for [[Islam]], the country is shittier than [[Mexico]], and that it is unstable, poor, and violent even by the standards of other African countries. But, thanks to it being near the Suez Canal, its waters are some of the busiest in the world. About 20,000 ships go through each year. These ships, big or small, come from all over the world. Some are even owned by other African coountries which are less poor and better-off than the Somalis. Some even started fishing and dumping waste. For years, the Somalis lived in a constant state of violence, poverty, and despair. But from their now-toxic beaches, they could watch as the world's wealth passed by - it was almost liek waving a steak in front of a chained-up Homer Simpson. Then, it finally hit those dumb niggers what to do. Now, the world is forced to send a bunch of cool-ass navy vessels to try to spoil the fun, but they still manage to steal liek 40 ships a year. Meanwhile, those fucking dumb business ownerss simply don't realize it would be better to either arm the crews or re-route. They're not scary pirates, they are mainly just scallies on boats.

==Other lulz==
Much of the country was recently [[pwned]] by [[Arab]]s. This was a major setback to U.S.-backed [[terrorism|counter-terrorism]] efforts and caused President [[Bush]] to cry and demand that [[Dick Cheney]] fetch his blankie now.

And this:

{{quote|This takes the saying "Black and Proud" to a whole new level..|I'm just confused, Niggah.}}

==<s>Somalian National Anthem</s> outlawed by Hizbul==
<center><youtube>pMhfbLRoGEw</youtube></center>

==Entertainment==
The [[lie|well developed Nigger computer game industry to lulz Somalis]] has launched several smash hits such as:

<center>[[Image:Somalia Race.jpg]]</center>

==Banned Entertainment==
In the past, Islamic militants in some areas have outlawed soccer, movies and razors. Hizbul insurgents added singing to the list in early April, declaring all music to be un-Islamic. This would be too retarded to be true, except that April Fools Day is also punishable by beheading.

OH NOES THE NO-JEWS MEANIES ARE COMING!

Naturally as a blow for democratic and artistic freedoms everywhere, all the country's radio stations caved in immediately and pulled all music from their playlsts. "We are using other sounds such as gunfire and the noise of vehicles to link up our programmes and news," announced Tusmo radio's Abdulahi Yasin Jama. So no change there then. 



It was two thousand years ago today 
The Mohammeds all faced east to pray 
They've been getting worse and worse in style 
But they're guaranteed to wipe your smile 
So let me break this news to you 
This act confirms your deepest fears 
SOMALI PEOPLE'S SONGS AND FUN ARE BANNED. 

Somali Pirates, Guns and AIDS Club Band 
The Western World ignored the show 
Somali people's devil music, songs and fun are banned 
It's time for human rights to go 

I don't really want to stop the show 
But they announced it on the radio 
It's un-Islamic now to sing a song 
And they want us all to join their throng 
So quiet before they introduce 
Your eyeballs to some garden shears 
'COS SOMALI PEOPLE'S SONGS AND FUN ARE BANNED. 
(dumdum dumdum dumdum dumdum dumdum dumdum dumdum dumdum) 
GARRRR-DENNNN SHEEEEEEEAAAAAAARS. 

What would you do if I sang out a tune - 
(gunshot, song ends abruptly)

==Somalia the libertarian paradise==
[[File:Niggerpresident.jpg|thumb|Somalia is a libertarian's wet dream]]
<center><youtube>7QDv4sYwjO0</youtube></center>

==Why does Somalia fail so much?==

*They don't care.
*They live on the coast but they [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taboo_food_and_drink#Fish wont eat fish]
*They are Niggers
*They are Muslims
*They are [[Obama|Muslim Nigger Socialists]]

==How to get 100 Somalis into a phone booth==
*Throw a bean in.

==How to get them out==
*Tell them there's a ship they should be pirating/hijacking

==See Also==
*[[Anarchy]]
*[[Black]]
*[[Aids]]
*[[Pro-Ana]]
*[[Pirates]]
*[[Sudan]]
*[[Islam]]
*[[The Great Egyptian Riot of 2011]]
{{Commonwealth}}

{{Afro}}

{{islam}}

[[category:Locations]]