Slashdot - Revision history

imported>LIOD: /* Whacking it to /. */

2018-07-06T17:11:50Z

Whacking it to /.

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:11, 6 July 2018
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	[[Image:Typicalslashdotuser.jpg\|thumb\|[[Typical]] slashdot user.]]		[[Image:Typicalslashdotuser.jpg\|thumb\|[[Typical]] slashdot user.]]

	[[Over 9000]] slashdot users have been self-diagnosed as suffering from [[Asperger's Syndrome]], many with comorbid [[USI]] or other [[disorders]]. Most slashdot users consider themselves "smart," when in fact they are simply of average intelligence but have more free time and fat egos. This can be seen in the forums, where spelling and usage errors are prevalent in condescending, arrogant rants, identified by containing the phrase "people are stupid" at some point in the post.		[[Over 9000]] slashdot [[Oldfag\|users]] have been self-diagnosed as suffering from [[Asperger's Syndrome]], many with comorbid [[USI]] or other [[disorders]]. Most slashdot users consider themselves "smart," when in fact they are simply of average intelligence but have more free time and fat egos. This can be seen in the forums, where spelling and usage errors are prevalent in condescending, arrogant rants, identified by containing the phrase "people are stupid" at some point in the post.

	The majority of slashdot's userbase is composed of fat, white, goateed cubicle-shit. Statistically, a "slash-bot" is much more likely to spend his whole life being as unpopular as he was in high-school. The facts directly contradict the [[typical]] nerd comeuppance fantasy, where the awkward and unattractive grow up to rule the world, and their popular, seemingly "less intelligent" tormentors wind up pregnant, in prison or selling [[shoes]] at the mall. In reality, the bullies wind up in college on sports scholarships, and go on to study economics, law or at least sociology. Nerds tend to have poor job prospects: their skill sets frequently clash with market realities (for every Bill Gates there exist thousands of Best-Buy lifers), and their social lives dismally revolve around their junior-college anime club, wearing stupid costumes, and a monogamous relationship with a fat bitch. Nine out of ten slashdot users will contend with structural unemployment and degrading service-sector jobs for the rest of their lives. The other one will see the light and join the [[GNAA]] out of sheer frustration from the idiocy the slashdot culture exhibits.		The majority of slashdot's userbase is composed of fat, white, goateed cubicle-shit. Statistically, a "slash-bot" is much more likely to spend his whole life being as unpopular as he was in high-school. The facts directly contradict the [[typical]] nerd comeuppance fantasy, where the awkward and unattractive grow up to rule the world, and their popular, seemingly "less intelligent" tormentors wind up pregnant, in prison or selling [[shoes]] at the mall. In reality, the bullies wind up in college on sports scholarships, and go on to study economics, law or at least sociology. Nerds tend to have poor job prospects: their skill sets frequently clash with market realities (for every Bill Gates there exist thousands of Best-Buy lifers), and their social lives dismally revolve around their junior-college anime club, wearing stupid costumes, and a monogamous relationship with a fat bitch. Nine out of ten slashdot users will contend with structural unemployment and degrading service-sector jobs for the rest of their lives. The other one will see the light and join the [[GNAA]] out of sheer frustration from the idiocy the slashdot culture exhibits.
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	===Problems with moderation system===		===Problems with moderation system===
			[[image:Afrodot.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Typical Slashdot articles]]
	[[Whores]] are more common on slashdot than trolls. The [[communist\|communal]] nature of granting and removing karma by the users is [[anti-lulz\|anti-authoritative]] and actively discourages people with real knowledge about a subject from discussing it. Instead, well-practiced whores tailor their comments to gain specific kinds of karma. Positive karma comes in the flavors of informative, insightful, interesting, [[lulz\|funny]] and [[fail\|underrated]]. Funny whores regularly trot out [[old meme\|old memes]], meaningless buzzwords, or lame "Simpsons" jokes (none of which are funny in any way). Interesting and under-rated scores are a guarantee of off-topic [[shit\|crap]]. Insightful is the karma of choice when your comment is inflammatory personal opinion. It would seem that "informative" comments might make for good reading. However, when the people doing the scoring are as generally uneducated as the slashdot masses, anyone who writes anything that ''[[not\|sounds]]'' intelligent gets the +5.		[[Whores]] are more common on slashdot than trolls. The [[communist\|communal]] nature of granting and removing karma by the users is [[anti-lulz\|anti-authoritative]] and actively discourages people with real knowledge about a subject from discussing it. Instead, well-practiced whores tailor their comments to gain specific kinds of karma. Positive karma comes in the flavors of informative, insightful, interesting, [[lulz\|funny]] and [[fail\|underrated]]. Funny whores regularly trot out [[old meme\|old memes]], meaningless buzzwords, or lame "Simpsons" jokes (none of which are funny in any way). Interesting and under-rated scores are a guarantee of off-topic [[shit\|crap]]. Insightful is the karma of choice when your comment is inflammatory personal opinion. It would seem that "informative" comments might make for good reading. However, when the people doing the scoring are as generally uneducated as the slashdot masses, anyone who writes anything that ''[[not\|sounds]]'' intelligent gets the +5.

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	== Whacking it to /. ==		== Whacking it to /. ==
	Slashdot is a great place to go to [[masturbate\|whack it]]. All [[fetish\|technofetishists]] will be sure to get a raging [[boner]] from the porno pics of motherboards and the fantasy erotica about [[cum\|coming]] technologies. Slashdot also has full [[teledildonics]] support for users, so that every time you post something smug about [[Linux]] or [[Open ~~Sores~~]] Software, you get a mind shattering orgasm. This is the reason why regular slashdot posters smell of old crusty jizz. As an added bonus, whenever you read the crap that passes for posting there, you feel like you have been thoroughly sodomized by an 800lb [[monkey\|gorilla]]! BONUS!		Slashdot is a great place to go to [[masturbate\|whack it]]. All [[fetish\|technofetishists]] will be sure to get a raging [[boner]] from the porno pics of motherboards and the fantasy erotica about [[cum\|coming]] technologies. Slashdot also has full [[teledildonics]] support for users, so that every time you post something smug about [[Linux]] or [[Open Source]] Software, you get a mind shattering orgasm. This is the reason why regular slashdot posters smell of old crusty jizz. As an added bonus, whenever you read the crap that passes for posting there, you feel like you have been thoroughly sodomized by an 800lb [[monkey\|gorilla]]! BONUS!

	== Noteworthy slashdot personalities ==		== Noteworthy slashdot personalities ==

imported>I was never here: /* Slashdot trolling */

2015-06-06T02:28:57Z

Slashdot trolling

← Older revision	Revision as of 02:28, 6 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>I was never here: /* Slashdot trolling */

2015-06-06T02:28:57Z

Slashdot trolling

← Older revision	Revision as of 02:28, 6 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>I was never here: /* Slashdot trolling */

2015-06-06T02:28:57Z

Slashdot trolling

← Older revision	Revision as of 02:28, 6 June 2015
(No difference)

imported>I was never here: /* Slashdot trolling */

2015-06-06T02:28:57Z

Slashdot trolling

New page

{{boring}}
<br>
[[Image:Slashdot0ir.png|right|News for nerds!]]
[[Image:Slashdot.png|thumb|Screenshot of slashdot page dated 09/28/2001, before advertisements began.]]
'''Slashdot''' is an [[epic]] [[blog]] ran by a dozen or so seemingly incompetent authors and [[anonymous]] contributors. Intriguingly enough, there was a day when slashdot was regarded as a [[relevant]], respected nerd site with plenty of interesting and useful items. Now it seems the editor's major role is to find news articles from other sites that will generate huge amounts of [[comments]] resulting in, [[fail|of course]], more page views to sell advertising. Present-day slashdot is simply another [[shitty]] [[site]], not unlike [[livejournal]], with the caliber of a group of [[fatties]] with [[Assburger Syndrome]]. Slashdot is one of the largest homes on the [[internets]] for [[trolls]] and [[whores]] (see [[trolltalk]]).

:''Note: do not try to find [[slashfic]] on slashdot''

==Users on slashdot==
[[Image:Typicalslashdotuser.jpg|thumb|[[Typical]] slashdot user.]]

[[Over 9000]] slashdot users have been self-diagnosed as suffering from [[Asperger's Syndrome]], many with comorbid [[USI]] or other [[disorders]]. Most slashdot users consider themselves "smart," when in fact they are simply of average intelligence but have more free time and fat egos. This can be seen in the forums, where spelling and usage errors are prevalent in condescending, arrogant rants, identified by containing the phrase "people are stupid" at some point in the post.

The majority of slashdot's userbase is composed of fat, white, goateed cubicle-shit. Statistically, a "slash-bot" is much more likely to spend his whole life being as unpopular as he was in high-school. The facts directly contradict the [[typical]] nerd comeuppance fantasy, where the awkward and unattractive grow up to rule the world, and their popular, seemingly "less intelligent" tormentors wind up pregnant, in prison or selling [[shoes]] at the mall. In reality, the bullies wind up in college on sports scholarships, and go on to study economics, law or at least sociology. Nerds tend to have poor job prospects: their skill sets frequently clash with market realities (for every Bill Gates there exist thousands of Best-Buy lifers), and their social lives dismally revolve around their junior-college anime club, wearing stupid costumes, and a monogamous relationship with a fat bitch. Nine out of ten slashdot users will contend with structural unemployment and degrading service-sector jobs for the rest of their lives. The other one will see the light and join the [[GNAA]] out of sheer frustration from the idiocy the slashdot culture exhibits.

==Articles on slashdot==
Each new article provides a follow-up forum where Slashdot users can provide their own commentary. When slashdot was smaller and populated by the elite, the forums were self-moderated. As time went on, slashdot attracted a much younger and less educated set of readers in addition to its original core. Because of the sheer volume of posts and the complete ease with which a [[troll]] could dominate a forum, slashdot started a moderation system to rate comments and associate those with slashdot users.

===Examples of Idiocy===
*Articles like [http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/04/27/1221219&from=rss this] and [http://apple.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/06/12/1315235&tid=179 this] are the reason slashdot is no longer taken seriously.

==Moderation System==
The Slashdot moderation system was designed to raise good posts and denigrate poor ones. Its simplicity has been its downfall. It has been mostly successful at removing [[first post]] and crap floods, but rather than discourage trolling, it has elevated it to an art form. By relying on a point system (named, without [[irony]], "karma") it provides a built-in scoring mechanism. A comments karma score can range from -1 to +5. Competing [[trolls]] can grade themselves as easily as a baseball game.

===Problems with moderation system===
[[Whores]] are more common on slashdot than trolls. The [[communist|communal]] nature of granting and removing karma by the users is [[anti-lulz|anti-authoritative]] and actively discourages people with real knowledge about a subject from discussing it. Instead, well-practiced whores tailor their comments to gain specific kinds of karma. Positive karma comes in the flavors of informative, insightful, interesting, [[lulz|funny]] and [[fail|underrated]]. Funny whores regularly trot out [[old meme|old memes]], meaningless buzzwords, or lame "Simpsons" jokes (none of which are funny in any way). Interesting and under-rated scores are a guarantee of off-topic [[shit|crap]]. Insightful is the karma of choice when your comment is inflammatory personal opinion. It would seem that "informative" comments might make for good reading. However, when the people doing the scoring are as generally uneducated as the slashdot masses, anyone who writes anything that ''[[not|sounds]]'' intelligent gets the +5.

The karma system has several mechanisms beyond simple score-keeping that reinforce the trolling and whoring. Once a whore gets a few positive karma points their comments automatically get a bonus to their starting [[sex|score]]. By simply logging in and having good karma a whores comments start out at +2, '''more than halfway''' to the maximum rating. A [[you|casual viewer]] with authoritative knowledge faces a Sisyphean task correcting the [[lie|mistruths]], urban legends and [[bullshit]] that fly around the slashdot forums. The sheer volume of noise is discouraging enough. The karma deficit is difficult to climb out of - most moderators read at a minimum of +2 guaranteeing a corrective post won't even get noticed.

Another contributor to the longevity of whores is the decision by the editors to actually discourage negative moderation. Users who repeatedly moderate comments negatively soon won't [[win|be moderating]] any more.

The Slashdot homepage features new articles slightly more than once an hour. With that short timeline, trolls and [[camwhore|whores]] have a limited period to get their comments in and collect karma before the [[lulz|attention]] turns to a new article. The short critical mass period for an articles life is another block to authoritative and well-written [[shit|commentary]] - most commenter [[n00b|don't even read]] the news articles before [[fail|commenting]]. Slashdot actually sells an early access feature, which is nothing more than a link to [http://digg.com Digg.com]. A whore who can make comments before the general public has a magnificent edge in getting noticed by moderators.

The sad reality is that more interesting and informative discussion occurs on sites where the old and proven social mechanism for getting rid of trolls - ignoring them - is practiced. But as for every site on the [[interwebs]], [[DO_WANT#Variants|do feed]] the [[trolls]] for [[teh]] [[lulz]].

The system itself is run on scripts referred to as [[slash]].

===Admins===
[[Image:Cowboyneal.jpg|thumb|Cowboy Neal (right) and Zonk, his only friend]]
'''Zonk''' is a Slashdot editor with an uncanny ability to post old news [http://hardware.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/14/2231245&tid=133&tid=137 like this] or just plain conflicting [http://games.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/16/1323209&tid=187&tid=98&tid=4&tid=10 like this] [http://games.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=05/10/14/1719202&tid=187&tid=10 and this]. Whilst Slashdot should usually be taken with a grain of salt, Zonk's postings usually need a few shakes.

'''Cowboy Neal''' is a [[Jewish]] Slashdot editor who has pointed at and pissed on by many [[trolls]]. The [[GNAA]] claims he is a [[fatty]], even issuing a [http://www.gnaa.us/pr.phtml?troll=gnaa-neal press release] on the subject.

[http://cmdrtaco.net/photos/MainSt/MainSt-Pages/Image1.shtml CowboyNeal] became a [[Slashdot]] [[meme]] when every Slashdot poll included an option with his name. Unfortunately, becoming the [[lol-cow]] of the Slashdot community hurt poor little Cowboy Neal's feelings. Because of his constant whining, the Slashdot Poll no longer had that option for some time. However, that didn't stop [[basement-dwelling]] nerds from commenting on every single Poll asking "Where's the CowboyNeal option?" or making up their own [[slashfic]]-based CowboyNeal option. Thanks to said [[Sick fuck]]s, the Cowboy Neal option has returned, and the Cowboy Neal [[meme]] was recently [http://slashdot.org/pollBooth.pl?qid=1483 voted the second most popular meme] in the past 10 years of [[slashdot|Slashdot's]] existence- a testament to Slashdot's [[aspie|insightful]], [[retard|imaginative]] [[fag|user base.]] (By comparison, [[Goatse]] ranked in at #5. [[WTF]] is wrong with these [[retard|tards?]])
{{clear}}

== Whacking it to /. ==
Slashdot is a great place to go to [[masturbate|whack it]]. All [[fetish|technofetishists]] will be sure to get a raging [[boner]] from the porno pics of motherboards and the fantasy erotica about [[cum|coming]] technologies. Slashdot also has full [[teledildonics]] support for users, so that every time you post something smug about [[Linux]] or [[Open Sores]] Software, you get a mind shattering orgasm. This is the reason why regular slashdot posters smell of old crusty jizz. As an added bonus, whenever you read the crap that passes for posting there, you feel like you have been thoroughly sodomized by an 800lb [[monkey|gorilla]]! BONUS!

== Noteworthy slashdot personalities ==
# 
# 
# 
# 
# 
# 

== Slashdot trolling ==

Before it became [[shit nobody cares about|irrelevant]] thanks to the rise of [[digg]], reddit, and their ilk, Slashdot's position as the center of geek news also attracted some of the most creative [[troll]]ing this side of [[Usenet]]. [[TOW]] even devoted an entire article to the subject, before the [[anti-lulz]] forces rose to delete it. An archived copy is [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Kadin2048/Slashdot_Trolling_Phenomena here], for now. ([https://archive.is/uwFR8//Slashdot_Trolling_Phenomena_archived archived] copy of a archive so much meta, so much mind fucking). (For those who joined teh Interweb yesterday, please note that even TOW was actually lulzy at one point.) <==those responsible should have never gotten internet access

Slashdot's aspie geeks were easily trolled with Lunix bashing [http://www.adequacy.org/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html] and Windows propaganda, so a rare few trolls put extra effort into pushing the envelope on the medium. The infamous [http://wipo.50megs.com/ WIPO troll], for instance, [[copypasta|posted and reposted]] incredibly elaborate faux-documentaries of the secret homosexual lives of prominent Slashdot and Linux personalities. For instance: [http://slashdot.org/~The+WIPO+Troll/journal/2772 The Linux Gay Conspiracy]
and [http://slashdot.org/~The%20WIPO%20Troll/journal/2346 Official Taco-Snotting FAQ]. [http://trollaxor.com] Trollaxor took the same concept in the opposite tack, posting fictional narratives (slashdot [[slashfic]]) exposing what he called "[[faggot]] [[Linux]] [[Nazism]]". [http://www.trollaxor.com/2007/05/ein-tag-im-leben-von-michael-sims.html], both involving stock Linux geeks (the infamous [http://www.trollaxor.com/2001/12/linux-party.html Linux Party]) and specific Slashdot personalities (CmdrTaco, [[Eric Raymond]], [[Richard Stallman]], etc.)

The [[GNAA]]'s early years centered around trolling Slashdot; getting a successful [[First post]] was long a condition of membership.

== Tips ==
[[Image:HowToSlashdot.png|thumb|A Properly Configured Slashdot Account]]
:1. Always use the word "lunix" in place of "linux" in slashdot's discussion forums.
:2. You can steal mod points by copying someone else's insightful comment and pasting it as a reply to an earlier one.
:3. Mac users are a bunch of fucking queers.
:4. When there's something you need to do that can't be done with Windows but can be done with [[Linux|Lunix]], keep in mind that you can do an even better job with [[Mac OS X]]. [[Some argue]] that *BSD can do it better but no one makes software for [[BSD]] since no one gives a flying fuck.
:5.

<br clear="all" />

==Compare against==
* [[Digg]] -- Slashdot currently gets all its front page material here. There is an even lower level of discourse due to an [[immature]] and highly irritating user base, but it's still new, and a great source of links.
* [http://www.freebsd.org/ Freebsd.org] -- A piece of shit site with really [[gay|loud]] fanboys.
* Macslash.org -- Slashdot for Mac Fags with [[AIDS]].
* [[Everything2]] -- Meta-information database run by slashdot founders.
* [[Kuro5hin]] -- An [[Homosexuality|alternative sexuality]] discussion site founded by Slashdot expatriates, now a flaming pile of [[Fail|fail]].
* Plastic.com -- A political news forum running on [[slash]].
* [[Sensible Erection]] -- Now with 50% more [[porn|pr0n]]!
* Technocrat.net -- A similar forum to slashdot, intended to be more mature, managed by Bruce Perens.

==See also==
* [[Slashdot effect]]
* [[Slash]]
* [[deadly.org]]
* [[Old meme]]
* [[Old media]]
* [[Slashfic]]
* [[Trolltalk]]
* [[GNAA]]
* [[Will Hill]]

== External links ==
*[http://www.slashdot.org Slashdot]
*[http://anti-slash.org/info/tips.php Tips on earning karma]
*[http://www.cowboyneal.org CowboyNeal's amazing site]
*[http://slashdot.org/pollBooth.pl?qid=1805&aid=-1 Lies. Damn lies.]

{{sites}}
{{gnaa}}
{{Web 2.0}}