Stoic Sigma 2: /* See Also */

2024-11-09T21:34:32Z

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

2011-04-16T11:01:37Z

Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} left|thumb|Hell. Lulz. right|thumb|[[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:01, 16 April 2011
(No difference)

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

2011-04-16T11:01:37Z

Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} left|thumb|Hell. Lulz. right|thumb|[[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:01, 16 April 2011
(No difference)

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

2011-04-16T11:01:37Z

Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} left|thumb|Hell. Lulz. right|thumb|[[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:01, 16 April 2011
(No difference)

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

2011-04-16T11:01:37Z

Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} left|thumb|Hell. Lulz. right|thumb|[[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

New page

{{needsmore|article and more internets}}

[[Image:Sin.png|left|thumb|Hell. Lulz.]]

[[Image:Matrifix.jpg|right|thumb|[[Jesus]] died for the lulz]]

'''Sin''' is a term used by [[religious]] [[fanatics]] to describe an act that can be considered to be pleasurable, as pleasure is not allowed in the [[TOS|Religious Fanatics Code of Conduct]]. The code clearly states that pleasure must be accompanied by guilt (this part of the code is strictly adhered to by [[Catholic]]s). Any thought, word, or act which might be considered as pleasurable is deemed to be "sinful".

[[Image:Shitdickanime.jpg|left|thumb|[[She]] is about to die for your sins, in a perfectly [[rape|consensual act of love]]]]

== The Seven [[Zomg]] Sins ==

According to the [[Catholic]] tradition, there are seven [[deadly]] sins that, when committed, result in a [[lightning bolt]] being sent straight from [[Heaven]] to burn your fucking labia right out:

===Lust===
Originally [[ABC]] had entitled their hit show ''[[Lost]]'' "Lust", and commissioned a million pound title sequence featuring a [[satan|Black Mass]] in which [[Christian_Spanking_Blogs|Evangelist Lilly]] was penetrated by the ice cold cock of [[John Locke]] to a chorus of fallen angels signing "she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes." Sadly they forgot to back up their hard drive and now instead all we have is a cheap misspelled title made using the 3D Tumbling Text [[Windows]] Screensaver.

===Ennui===
Ennui, which comes from the French for "boring", is condemned by the commandment "Only boring people get bored [[true|verily]] sayeth the Lord". Although we have all met/slept with some very boring people who can be kept entertained for hours by a card with "Please turn over" written on both sides, they don't count, as only people with triple digit IQ's can enter the [[texas|Kingdom of Heaven]].

===Pig fucking===
Although pedophilia is happily embraced by both the Irish [[Catholic]] Church and the Afghani version of [[Islam]], they both disapprove of human-porcine interspecies lovin' on the grounds that (a) isn't kosher/halal and (b) the intense enjoyment might stop you thinking about Baby Jesus. (That yokel that fucked Ned Beatty in ''Deliverance'' should get by on a technicality though.)

===Doing the gay===
If God had meant us to be gay, he wouldn't have invented [[tits]]. When King [[waco|David]] and Jonathan tried a bit of the gay, God [[pwn|smote]] them mightily and encouraged David to rape Bathsheba and to send her husband on an extentended tour of Helmand Province wearing a placard saying "I'm a Jew." So don't give me any liberal crap about the Bible being misinterpreted, quoting bits of [[Westboro Baptist Church|Leviticus]] concerning not eating out menstruating [[women]]. God hates fucking fags. Get over it.

===Being fat===
Does this really need explaining? (See [[Whale Safe Beer]].)

===Being [[peru|South American]]===
There is a possibility that the [[Internet Law|Jesuits]] accompanying the [[army|Conquistador]] mission to bring hygeine to South America in exchange for [[gold]] made this one up. Although if [[God]] sees everything, he probably spotted [[Mexico]] before the [[Spanish]] did, so anything is possible.

===The seventh Deadly Sin===

Couldn't find this one on [[Wikipedia]], but it probably has to do with feminist anger, penis envy or voting [[Democrat]].

== Lesser Sins ==
[[Image:16candlesaburnin.jpg|thumb|right|Female circumcision is the new blackened snapper]]

Sometimes sins result in a person going to [[Hell|Kenya, where they will undergo the sacred rite of female circumcision]], but only after [[MONGO|due process]]. It's entirely up to [[God]].

Some acts that are considered sinful:

* Drinking [[alcohol]]
** '''''NOTE:''' Wine is okay but only when a [[Pedophile|priest]] [[anal sex|gives it to you]]
*** '''''SPECIAL PRIESTLY NOTE:''' Wine is acceptable outside of religious rituals when it is used to get that [[cum|bleachy taste]] out of your mouth''
* Sex before [[marriage]]
** '''''NOTE:''' However, anything that maintains your [[technical virginity]], including [[anal sex]], [[oral sex]], [[anal-oral sex]], etc. are perfectly acceptable''
* Having any type of sexual interaction with a [[man]], even if married (which is also a sin)
** '''''NOTE:''' Boys are still awwwrrriiight''
* Taking part in [[furry]], [[vampyre]], or [[otherkin]] sex -- ever
* [[Masturbation]]
* [[Menstruation]]
* Contracting [[HIV]], even if by a blood transfusion or accidental needlestick

== Dealing With Sin ==

* Carve your [[genitals]] up with a [[razor blade]], unless you enjoy that, which is also a sin
* Look at [[Shock sites|these pages]] and especially [[Offended|this one]] until you feel absolved thereof

== See Also ==

* [[Religion]]
* [[Christianity]]
* [[Catholicism]]
* [[Hell]] - you goin' there, sinner!
<br>
{{stub}}

[[Category:Fandom Stuff]] [[Category:Sex]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:34, 9 November 2024
Line 66:		Line 66:
	* [[Catholicism]]		* [[Catholicism]]
	* [[Hell]] - you goin' there, sinner!		* [[Hell]] - you goin' there, sinner!
			* [[Virtue]] - the opposite of a sin.
	<br>		<br>
	{{stub}}		{{stub}}

	[[Category:Fandom Stuff]] [[Category:Sex]]		[[Category:Fandom Stuff]] [[Category:Sex]] [[Category:Religion]]

Sin - Revision history

Stoic Sigma 2: /* See Also */

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{needsmore|article and more internets}} Hell. Lulz. [[Jesus died for the lulz]] '''Sin''' is a term used by [..."