Security Faggots - Revision history

imported>TabbyGarf: Reverted edits by Holistic Holocaust (talk) to last revision by imported>Oddguy

2021-12-03T11:59:58Z

Reverted edits by Holistic Holocaust (talk) to last revision by [[User:imported>Oddguy|imported>Oddguy]]

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:59, 3 December 2021
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	Commonly known as ''security researchers'', ''security professionals'' and other euphemisms for ''tranny trap'' and ''morbidly obese [[basement dweller]]'', these seemingly [[Americunt\|human]] beings invest their entire [[crap\|lives]] on producing utterly useless [[crap]] known as ''security research'', among advisories and generally any type of covert and almost subtle marketing for the companies they work for.		Commonly known as ''security researchers'', ''security professionals'' and other euphemisms for ''tranny trap'' and ''morbidly obese [[basement dweller]]'', these seemingly [[Americunt\|human]] beings invest their entire [[crap\|lives]] on producing utterly useless [[crap]] known as ''security research'', among advisories and generally any type of covert and almost subtle marketing for the companies they work for.

imported>Holistic Holocaust at 00:23, 3 December 2021

2021-12-03T00:23:26Z

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	Commonly known as ''security researchers'', ''security professionals'' and other euphemisms for ''tranny trap'' and ''morbidly obese [[basement dweller]]'', these seemingly [[Americunt\|human]] beings invest their entire [[crap\|lives]] on producing utterly useless [[crap]] known as ''security research'', among advisories and generally any type of covert and almost subtle marketing for the companies they work for.		Commonly known as ''security researchers'', ''security professionals'' and other euphemisms for ''tranny trap'' and ''morbidly obese [[basement dweller]]'', these seemingly [[Americunt\|human]] beings invest their entire [[crap\|lives]] on producing utterly useless [[crap]] known as ''security research'', among advisories and generally any type of covert and almost subtle marketing for the companies they work for.

imported>Oddguy at 12:24, 23 March 2015

2015-03-23T12:24:53Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 12:24, 23 March 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy at 12:24, 23 March 2015

2015-03-23T12:24:53Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 12:24, 23 March 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy at 12:24, 23 March 2015

2015-03-23T12:24:53Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:24, 23 March 2015
(No difference)

imported>Oddguy at 12:24, 23 March 2015

2015-03-23T12:24:53Z

New page

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Commonly known as ''security researchers'', ''security professionals'' and other euphemisms for ''tranny trap'' and ''morbidly obese [[basement dweller]]'', these seemingly [[Americunt|human]] beings invest their entire [[crap|lives]] on producing utterly useless [[crap]] known as ''security research'', among advisories and generally any type of covert and almost subtle marketing for the companies they work for.

=== Security faggot anthem ===

I am a security faggot, and this is my manifesto. I might never experience real life sexuality without investing big bucks on it, I might never stop looking like a whale, I might die of heart strokes due to my morbid obesity. But now that the Lord knows my suffering, for he is kind, I know I will work on a penetration testing consulting firm for the rest of my pathetic life. Lord, you who are omnipotent and everlasting, give me the force to poke the keyboard and reply to those pesky flames, ignore [[GOBBLES]] and his superior skillsets and stamina, provide me with unlimited amounts of coke and soda, and my fellow security faggots who secretly envy and despise my work, even though they invite me to lapdances in Defcon and fap to my home made pornography. Shall my words be heard, Lord, please save me from the Judgement Day, when computer security becomes as useless as my [[cock]]. Amen.

=== How can I identify security faggots? ===

These [[basement dwellers]] love to meet up in conferences and organize orgies for their fellow coprophiliacs. Fortunately, there's enough photographical evidence supporting this fact:

* [http://www.defconpics.org/ Defcon Pics]

=== Beware of whales ===

The security industry was invaded circa [[100 years ago]] by white whales from outer space. The ensuing ''First Contact War'' yielded unexpected results, allowing the whales to stay on Planet Earth and deplete unreported amounts of semen and KFC chicken legs. This caused wreckage in several security consultancies, since the customary closets and offices had to be expanded.

<div align="center">[[Image:White_whales_lol.JPG|400px]][[Image:Jeremiah_and_andrew.jpg|400px]]</div>

=== The security faggot checklist ===

* Morbidly obese or well beyond being overweight
* Wears baseball cups and other camo clothing (XL sized t-shirts to hide the bitch tits)
* Laptop covered in stickers and random ugly [[crap]]
* Sexually inhibited
* Always wears marketing clothing of their company
* Most likely, obnoxious attitude like an [[attention whore]]

=== Typical security faggot companies ===

Due to the overwhelming growth of the security industry, this list might be incomplete or utter [[shit]].

* CORE
** http://www.coresecurity.com
* eEye
** http://www.eeye.com
* Immunity
** http://www.immunitysec.com
* IOActive
** http://www.ioactive.com
* Matasano
** http://www.matasano.com

=== The typical basement of a security faggot ===
<center>
[[Image:Maynor-home-office.jpg|900px]]
</center>

=== Infamous security faggots ===
[[Image:Mitnicksp.jpg|thumb|right| I'm [[Kevin Mitnick]]. [[You fail it|I'm no good at hacking or security]].]]

There are widely known security faggots who made their way into the [[drama|news]] thanks to their [[bisexual|sexual orientation]] and [[attention whore|interests]]:

* [[Dan Kaminsky]]
* [[Fearnor]]
* [[Gadi Evron]]
* [[Kevin Mitnick]]
* [[Joanna Rutkowska]]
* [[Michael Lynn]]
* [[Raven]]
* [[Theo de Raadt]]
* [[th3j35t3r]]

=== Famous security faggot buttseckers ===

If there's anyone to thank for the fate of security faggots, it's these men who fought for [[lulz|freedom]] and [[drama|justice]] against the security faggot menace:

* [[GOBBLES]]
* [[Lance M. Havok]]

{{SecurityFaggots}}
{{Softwarez}}
[[Category:Softwarez]]