imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

2013-09-04T06:35:13Z

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imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

2013-09-04T06:35:13Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:35, 4 September 2013
(No difference)

imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

2013-09-04T06:35:13Z

← Older revision	Revision as of 06:35, 4 September 2013
(No difference)

imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

2013-09-04T06:35:13Z

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<center>[[File:SIDS Test Your Baby.jpg]]</center> 
'''SIDS''' (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome A.K.A. [[Lulz|Postpartum]] [[Abortion]]) is a hilarious form of birth control, courtesy of [[Bitch|Mother Nature]], deciding that your retarded rape-offspring is [[Nouglybabies|too ugly for this world]], because you decided to [[Bestiality|mount a fat cow]] who didn't do anal. This sudden impact of death, is even more hilarious in light of the fact that the ugly hippo you [[Raped|knocked up]] has to carry the abomination for 9 months before going into the [[English|labour]] for long hours, while in severe pain, only to see the fruits of her effort choke on its own fat tongue.
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==Causes Of SIDS==
[[File:SIDS Going The Wrong Way.png|thumb|right|The Man is catching on, and cracking down on child fuckery.]]
There are many causes of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, most of which boil down to [[Long-term abuse|neglect]] of some sort. By far the most common cause is [[COCKS COCKS COCKS I SUCK HUNDREDS OF COCKS|choking on the cock of the father]]. After giving birth, the vagina of the mother is [[Legendary ruin status|ruined forever]], an enormous and flabby tunnel inside which is [[OhInternet|no pleasure whatsoever]]. It is only natural, then, that the father may then [[Goofy Time|creep into the room]] of the newborn infant, and get the pleasure from the infant he can no longer get from its mother. In the moment, many fathers [[I accidently X|neglect to remember]] infants need to breathe, and so the baby expires with not a whimper, but a gurgle. The glossy sheen of [[Santorum|lubricant]] in the throat of an infant is a dead giveaway, but only the internet [[Facebook Groups|really cares]] about dead babies, so it goes unnoticed.

Mothers too [[Always|can be]] to blame. Women are generally incompetent, but especially when it comes to raising children. If they are not [[Fucked|watched]] constantly, women may forget the baby [[How is babby formed|isn't a human being yet]], and bore it to death with talk of [[Shit nobody cares about|shoes, boys, and periods]]. She may also forget the baby entirely, starving it of attention and [[OM NOM NOM|food]], and leading to its untimely death.

SIDS can also be a form of suicide, the infant equivalent of Postpartum Depression. When an infant sees the [[Woman|fat weepy sack of shit]] it will have to call mother for the next eighteen years, it can lose all hope and [[An Hero|simply cease breathing]], to avoid spending even one more second in the presence of so loathsome a sub-human. This is really the [[A_winner_is_you|best outcome for all parties]], because the baby never has to suffer, and the mother has a great new story to tell at parties. Win-win.

SIDS is when mothers with post-partum depression smother their babies and no-one wants to admit it. It's that simple, and anything to the contrary is a [[lie]].

==How To Avoid SIDS==
'''Given that Mother Nature is pretty good at making sure infants die young, we here at ED wanted to help make sure you don't help it in any way, you sick fuck. So here is a perfect illustration of the causes of the hilarity that is SIDS: '''
[[File:SIDS Avoid.jpg|thumb|500px|center|Any one of these is child endangermant, any three are attempted murder.]]

==SIDS Research==
[[File:SIDS Research.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Carefully plan on how to SIDS an infant]]
More research could be done to learn about SIDS, but for [[Pedophilia|some reason]], every time someone is hired to watch children sleep for [[Love You Forever|hours on end]], terrible things happen. From this research, it can confidently be stated that anyone at all interested in the [[Shitting|habits]] [[Eating|of]] [[Crying|infants]] are just [[baby fuck|baby fuckers]]. Research also indicates that women whose child dies of SIDS [[BAWWW|react emotionally]] to being accused of killing their children, a [[Spider Expert|sure sign of guilt]]. They also frown on being asked for [[Protip|tips]] on how to kill your own infant and get away with it. So in deference to their [[Nice guy|delicate feelings]], simply thank them for killing their child, and offer your help should they have another baby needing choked.

A more controversial diagnosis is Sudden Child Death Syndrome. SCDS is normally caused by [[Lulz|divorce, poverty, or criminal acts]] by the father. SCDS manifests itself as [[An Wiiro|children hanging from the ceiling]] or spontaneously developing multiple gunshot wounds, normally [[Coward|in their sleep]]. These symptoms vary from SIDS because children are harder to kill than their infant equivalents, and so more [[KILL IT WITH FIRE|drastic tactics]] must be employed. The parents of children who die of SCDS [[True|deserve far more sympathy]] than parents of SIDS babies, because SCDS takes away a human being with personality and aptitudes, instead of a [[babies|floppy weeping sack of stem cells]] with no purpose.


==SIDS' Vicious==
{{cg|SIDS|SIDS|center|<gallery perrow = 5>
File:SIDS Dead Baby 1.jpg
File:SIDS Dead Baby Farzan.jpg
File:SIDS Dead Baby Jacob.jpg
File:SIDS Dead Baby Katee.jpg
File:SIDS Dead Baby Nathan.jpg
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:SIDS Dead Baby 2.jpg
File:SIDS Dead Baby 3.jpg
File:SIDS Dead Baby 4.jpg
File:Baby shake.gif|Take notes
</gallery>}}
 
<center>
{{fv|uid|background-color:white;|font-weight:bold;
|<youtube>CswwRscnbCE</youtube><center></center>}}
</center>
==See Also==
[[Babies]] 

==External Links==
{{fbid|152241831474857|SIDS-Angels-Raise-Awareness}} 
[http://sids-angels.gonetoosoon.org/ Gone too late]

{{Dying_Alone}}
{{Timeline|Featured article September 2 & September 3, [[2013]]|[[League of Legends]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[The Incredible Flying Broomstick Guy]]}}

SIDS - Revision history

imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013

imported>Uberfukken at 06:35, 4 September 2013