Couscous at 07:14, 11 April 2026

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	In another incident he was approached by government employed, non-comedian [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjD4tD5-mnA Marg Delahunty] for a few words. Instead playing it's game, Ford called 911. But he didn't just call 911 [http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2011/10/27/rob-ford-911-call.html reportedly] shrieked at the operator "You … bitches! Don't you fucking know? I'm Rob fucking Ford, the mayor of this city!" Ford later denied calling the operator "a bitch", but admitted to planning to change his license plate to "RobFuckingFord" after he figured out how to make it fit. This lead to a staunch denunciation from Keith Olbermann (skip to 2:30).		In another incident he was approached by government employed, non-comedian [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjD4tD5-mnA Marg Delahunty] for a few words. Instead playing it's game, Ford called 911. But he didn't just call 911 [http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2011/10/27/rob-ford-911-call.html reportedly] shrieked at the operator "You … bitches! Don't you fucking know? I'm Rob fucking Ford, the mayor of this city!" Ford later denied calling the operator "a bitch", but admitted to planning to change his license plate to "RobFuckingFord" after he figured out how to make it fit. This lead to a staunch denunciation from Keith Olbermann (skip to 2:30).
	<center><youtube>kK-hheIqab4</youtube></center>		<center><youtube>kK-hheIqab4</youtube></center>

			==Crack==
			[[File:robford22.png\|200px\|thumb\|right\|Rob was a brotha.]]
			Outside of Canada, Ford is most well known for smoking crack, something that was proven and made him withdraw from a re-election. This wasn't before a news run of him lying about using drugs, until two videos were released of him in the act.

			<center><youtube>lnYBysK2eLE</youtube></center>

	==Death==		==Death==

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{{achtung|Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has plenty of [[pussy]] to eat at home}}
<youtube>jSUlDjABCYc</youtube>
[[Image: UnicornFord.jpg|thumb|Mayor Ford, after smoking some of dat crack]]
[[File:Rob-fucking-ford-for-mayor.jpg|thumb|ROB FUCKING FORD]]
[[File:Rob Ford - Now Magazine cover.jpg|thumb|Mayor Ford is a sexy beast]]
'''Boss Hog''', also known as '''Rob Ford''', “'''[http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/28169 Toronto’s Warren Buffett]'''”, '''RoFo''', and “'''Rob ^FUCKING Ford (#RFF)'''” is mayor of the City of [[Toronto]], [[bitches]]. Ford has been known for controversy in the past, having been arrested on [http://www.eyeweekly.com/article/102889 DUI and Marijuana possession in Miami] and arrested due to allegations by his wife of [http://torontoist.com/2008/03/rob_ford_arrest.php abuse]. Regarding the latter, it is believed that charges were dropped after he beat some sense into her. Apart from being genetically closer to a pig, Ford is considered a "complicated man". In addition to easily out-slobbing the likes of Michael Moore and Rush Limbaugh combined and rivaling [[Rick Perry]] and [[Herman Cain]] for stupidity, he also comes from money thanks to daddy's stationary company. As the Mayor, Ford has used public money to buy over-priced stationary supplies [http://www.thestar.com/news/article/1078106/ from the Ford Family company] for the City of Toronto.

Ford can often be seen driving home from work around 2:30 (you gotta beat the traffic in this shitty town) while talking on his cell phone. The vanity plate on his minivan reads "RobFord" while the one he got his wife reads "BeatMe"

Ford was a joke candidate in the City of [[Toronto]] Mayoral Elections 2010. But he surged in the polls after convincing enough of the non-English speaking doctors and engineers who drive Toronto's cabs and the growing suburban crack-head population to vote for him because he was fat, "like you'll be some day, or probably are now." Moreover, out of a sense of pride regarding the history of Toronto (formerly known as Hogtown), Etobicokians sealed the deal for Ford, the closest thing to an actual pig on the ballet. Although RoFo is now the Mayor of HogTown, his (slightly) thinner brother, [http://tinypic.com/r/zl9ba8/5 Doug], controls his every move from behind.

Since elected mayor, RFF has he been mired in all sorts of lulzy situations. Like the time he missed TorontoPride, the biggest gay-fest in the world, because he preferred to celebrate it privately by getting fisted by brother Doug and some guy at the cottage [http://www.thestar.com/news/pride/article/1014248--why-won-t-rob-ford-go-to-gay-events/ (Why won’t Rob Ford go to gay events?)]. Or the time that someone got a picture from his self-porn collection and put it on the front cover of local trouble making publication Now Magazine. RobFuckingFord is also known to go to department stores in his [http://twitter.com/mizzboothOG/status/133253109374910465 PJs], which is actually fine, as long as he was just popping by while stoned to get some munchies and lube.

Despite the thought of Rob Ford having the opposite effect of Viagra, many reputable Blogs have been erected in his honour, such as [http://fuckrobford.blogspot.com/ Fuck Rob Ford] and [http://www.torontomike.com/rob_ford_watch/ Rob Ford Watch]. In at least one lulzy case, Ford insisted that the blog was '''too amazing''' and requested it be removed. Traces of [http://www.scribd.com/doc/35675674/robfordmayor-com-archives-as-saved-by-Google-s-cache-on-August-9 this blog] have been captured by the inter-web for all to enjoy, but more back-up cashes wouldn't hurt.

In November 2011, it was announced that Rob Ford would play a cameo as a nad-munching pig for the Toronto Ballet's production of the [http://www.torontolife.com/daily/informer/ford-focus/2011/11/15/rob-ford-the-nutcracker-cameo/?utm_source=further-inform&utm_medium=plugin&utm_campaign=further-inform Nutcracker].

==Campaign==

Ford was [[Herman Cain]] before Cain stopped delivering pizzas. Uncle Rob changed his campaign mid-stride to take on an even more controversial approach and running with the [http://toronto.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20101012/attack-signs-university-avenue-101210/20101012/?hub=TorontoNewHome new slogan] "Wife beating racist drunk for Mayor"

[[Image:Wifebeatingracistdrunk_poster.jpg | frameless | thumb|]]

Despite the Canadian Socialist Media attempting to hog-tie the would-be mayor with truths of racism, homophobia, being anti-cyclist and [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do5UlMf5luQ&feature=related generally being a prick], the Boss eventually came out on top, thanks to repeated calls to [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcs8TPqiU04&feature=related pass the gravy]. Unfortunately, Ford was not able to find any gravy once he became Mayor, except strangely all over the back of his underwear. But it was reported that he had his snout in the trough himself. Ford, having believed his own pot-dreams that [http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/torontomayoralrace/article/847228--rob-ford-surges-ahead Toronto City Hall] was corrupt under former Mayor David Miller, decided that he wanted to get in one the action himself. An audit into Ford's campaign financing was launched in May 2011, alleging his family company may have [http://www.thestar.com/news/article/990960 funneled cash] and toothless prostitutes to help his campaign. It was also revealed that Ford racked up a total of 483 election infractions resulting in a (mere) $13,000 fine. While this may be expected to occur for a campaign run by numerous toothless prostitutes, infractions are infractions. However, not being known as someone who'd pay for his own energy drinks, let alone a socialist tax on the motivated, he [http://drivingtheporcelainbus.blogspot.com/search/label/Rob%20Ford%27s%20Gravy%20Train avoided paying the fine].

To welcome Ford to office, Canada's most famous performance clown, Don "Finger-bang" Cherry, gave a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FQ8diY5k7M&feature=related wine-drenched speech] that properly set the tone for Ford's term in office. Because he was a little too drunk to properly pull it off the first time, a [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ndG3NJ3Edg&feature=related dramatic reading] of the speech was commissioned by the Kanada's socialist media to properly document this important moment in Canadian history.

==Service Cuts==

Torontonians were shocked that once elected, Ford reneged on his promise that he would find wasteful spending [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxFR48IUWtc&NR=1 (i.e., gravy)] without cutting any services. In fairness to Ford, he didn't actually expect Torontonians to fall for it. After all, would you believe a man that looks like he would molest your child but is too stupid to do it at night in a secluded place? Exactly. Toronto voters: [[Fail]]!

==Occupy Toronto==

BossHog's disgust for all things polite and anti-capitalist led him to despise [[OWS|Occupy Toronto]] crowd. Also, being a staunch opponent of books, he detested the Occupy Toronto library, which was described as possibly [http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/arts/books/in-other-words/the-occupy-toronto-library-the-best-in-the-world/article2235805/ the best Occupy library in the World]. Despite wide acceptance by regular Torontonians, BossHog signaled that the immaculate camp at St. James Park would be ripped up and discarded so that dogs could return to crapping on the grass and kids go back to playing with used needles laying about. This lead to a stern warning from Anonymous
<youtube>Zj_8SNJw7ZA</youtube>

==Bookz==

Despite having never read one, Ford apparently believes that books are evil and should be banned from Toronto schools, and that public libraries should be shut down. Ford eventually backed down on cutting Toronto's libraries when he was reminded that [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si39LQlUpdk "lie-berries"] were actually his favorite fruit as a child. Nevertheless, he still hopes to one day catch and properly deal with famous Canadian book-writing witch, Margret Attwood(aka Le Poodle), who had the gall to write some man hating Canadian classic novels,about activator and jherri curls. To accomplish this, rumors are that Ford is privately lobbying Toronto Police Chief, Bill Blair, to bring back laws that make it lawful to burn witches. However, Attwood reports to not being concerned because the Ford brothers don't actually [http://news.nationalpost.com/2011/07/26/margaret-atwood-i-wouldnt-have-a-clue-who-she-is-doug-ford/ know who she is.]

==Homeless Policies==
[[File:Rob Ford Obama poster - crack.jpg|thumb|Despite his disdain for the homeless, Mayor Ford competes for all the dope in the city]]
His distaste for [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YZQ4oQjxgc homeless people] got him to thinking that all shelters should be destroyed as they cause bedbugs for the people who are warm in their vagina's. Therefore, anyone caught advocating for shelters, or rooming in one would be, in Ford's own words, subject to "a public lynching."

<youtube>8YZQ4oQjxgc</youtube>

==Transportation/Suburban Utopia Plan==
[[File:Rob-Ford-crack.jpg|thumb|Mayor Ford, getting ready to ride]]
Ford's early plans included, controversially, the [http://www.torontolife.com/daily/informer/mayor-may-not/2010/09/08/rob-ford-unveils-transit-plan-remove-streetcars-get-cyclists-off-roads-expand-subway-only-in-burbs/ removal of all streetcars] and [http://www.treehugger.com/files/2010/09/bikes-streetcars-under-threat-politicians.php bike lanes] in the city. This was planned to be finished in the first week of duty.

On February 8, 2012 his fatness lost a big vote to make new subways all over the city and his attempt to bankrupt the city failed.

<youtube>nySs1cEq5rs</youtube>

His election campaign also included the removal of all sidewalks as they were an impediment to cars and SUVs. However, after becoming elected, RoFo "vision" expanded and came into sharp focus with the call for Toronto's own [http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2011/08/30/doug-ford-plans-monorail-ferris-wheel-toronto-waterfront_n_942021.html monorail] [http://www.reddit.com/r/toronto/comments/jzgyj/whatd_mayor_ford_say_monorail/ (What's it called? Monorail!)] that in his words was "going to be running on the lake, stopping at the Air Canada Centre, at the Dome - then going down Cherry Street. Cherry Street will be lined with cherry trees and have European-style outdoor patios along it. Then you'll stop at two mini-towers - they could be hotels or residential or office space." But that wasn't all. There would be [http://www.insidetoronto.com/news/cityhall/article/1073847--councillor-doug-ford-s-port-lands-plans-are-jaw-dropping a megamall, a boat-shaped hotel and the <gosh darn> biggest Ferris wheel in the world]. It was later reveled that these plans dated back to the dream city his mommy always told him he could live in one day, and one that he had modeled extensively in SimCity. Unfortunately, the vision-less socialists in the Toronto City Council had apparently never played SimCity and [http://www.thestar.com/news/torontocouncil/article/1058950--has-rob-ford-lost-his-grip voted down] the Frod Bruthers' plan.

==Graffiti==
[[File:20121127-Ford-Poster-does-this-pig-represent-you.jpg|thumb|Does this pig represent you?]]
Toronto's history of street art includes, but goes well-beyond hastily scribed fag tags and urine writing on alley walls. Ford, having declared his distaste for anything artistic, quickly called for graffiti removal program. The costs for mandatory city-staff removal were to be charged back to the building owners whether they were (s)he was the unwitting victim of [http://www.blogto.com/arts/2011/03/some_visual_perspective_on_the_toronto_graffiti_blitz/ graffiti] or the proud owner of a piece of commissioned outdoor art. In response, a flurry [http://www.blogto.com/arts/2011/03/the_rob_ford_graffiti_gallery/ Ford-inspired street art] appeared to [http://torontoist.com/2011/10/one-year-of-street-art-dedicated-to-mayor-ford/ fill the void]. The City changed the its direction, launching a new plan scheduled for 2012 that would enable building owners to commission [http://www.brockpress.com/news/external-news/toronto-releases-progressive-street-art-plan-1.2613973 city-vetted street art]. Reports are that [http://christineestima.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/rob-ford-as-humpty-dumbty/ Ford as Humpty-Dumpty] will not meet approval as the City is already over-quota for this theme.

==Work and Immigration==

Realizing he can capitalize on ignorance and racism, the BOSS is brilliantly using campaign posters based on his previous statements. [http://www.citytv.com/toronto/citynews/news/local/article/21463--asian-protestors-stage-city-hall-sit-in-over-rob-ford-s-oriental-comments “Those Oriental people work like dogs”] The BOSS states; he continues with a comment on the quality of their rugs. To further his [[suburban]] [[gentrification]] plan Boss will [http://www.cp24.com/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20100818/100818_debate/20100818/?hub=CP24Home “close the door”] on immigration in [[Toronto]] and enforce that all restaurants only serve meat, potatoes, donuts and [[breast]] milk. Furthermore, it is reported that he is inspired by Israel and former South Africa bus services that prioritizes "God's true children, the white ones" (that speak English).

==Tough Love==

When scolded by a mother and child for talking on his cell phone while driving, Ford allegedly [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWpihz5uVGo&feature=related gave the finger] to the two, "in a mean way". The indecent is reviewed fully in this [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hp4BtnQg8yE&feature=related rap video]. Really.

During an interview where Ford was pressed on a lie he told, he changed the subject, alleging that the interviewer called him a “Fat Fuck”. Despite being true, the Boss lost it.
<youtube>z8EpSdyB0zY</youtube>

Ford is against all forms of gay sex that do not include him and a pair of goggles. He is upset that the [[G20]] protesters were destroying the city before he could and [http://www.insidetoronto.com/news/cityhall/article/844755--councillors-defend-toronto-police-service-s-handling-of-g20 wishes the police would have used more force] when dealing with the [[socialist]] [[hippies]].

To ensure that Toronto is run like the US during [[Dubya]]’s [[America]] he also plans to [http://toronto.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20100927/TO-ford-marathons-100927/20100927/?hub=TorontoNewHome ban all marathons] and cycling activities with the hopes of transforming Toronto into the fattest city in the world. His plans include transformation of all city parks, starting with Saint James Park, to make room for fast food restaurants and soylent green processing plants.

==Socialist Media==

Is there any other kind? Well either way, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) sits firmly atop the pile.

For example, on the day following Ford's election victory, an unscrupulous CBC reporter actually had the gall to interrupt a football practice where he was scoping out young hotties, to ask him some questions. Luckily, he outsmarted the reporter by shouting out commands to his boys and mumbling something about gravy [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6nYuNyxl4s instead of answering her live questions].

In another incident he was approached by government employed, non-comedian [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjD4tD5-mnA Marg Delahunty] for a few words. Instead playing it's game, Ford called 911. But he didn't just call 911 [http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2011/10/27/rob-ford-911-call.html reportedly] shrieked at the operator "You … bitches! Don't you fucking know? I'm Rob fucking Ford, the mayor of this city!" Ford later denied calling the operator "a bitch", but admitted to planning to change his license plate to "RobFuckingFord" after he figured out how to make it fit. This lead to a staunch denunciation from Keith Olbermann.
<youtube>5sNQFtwemTQ</youtube>

==Contact Information==

Ford is a staunch proponent to spending all day talking on the phone with constituents, like a teenage girl. You too can [http://www.toronto.ca/mayor_ford/contact.htm contact] Ford for more details on how he intends to bring Toronto back to the ages of horse-drawn buggies.

==More Videos==

<youtube>yOi2wIUCTnA</youtube>

==See Also==
* [[Alvin Greene]]

{{politics}}
{{Canada}}

[[Category: People]]

Rob Ford - Revision history

Couscous at 07:14, 11 April 2026

imported>JewsSuck: /* Work and Immigration */

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