Redwall - Revision history

LordGrimThInvincible: Rhymes with cakes!!!!!!!!!

2025-02-17T15:43:41Z

Rhymes with cakes!!!!!!!!!

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:43, 17 February 2025
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	Think back to your elementary school [[library\|library]]. Picture the shelves lining the walls, the colorful array of book spines, and the [[old\|sweet old lady librarian]] who would always help you pick out what to read next, tell your class stories in the rocking chair, and make sure to always let everyone see the [[pix\|pictures]] before she moved on. ''(FYI - she’s probably [[death\|dead]] now. Try not to think about that for the sake of the exercise.)'' As a [[child\|kid]], it was a world of adventure and promise, where every [[book\|book]] was sure to take you on a magic carpet ride to faraway lands while helping you learn along the way.		Think back to your elementary school [[library\|library]]. Picture the shelves lining the walls, the colorful array of book spines, and the [[old\|sweet old lady librarian]] who would always help you pick out what to read next, tell your class stories in the rocking chair, and make sure to always let everyone see the [[pix\|pictures]] before she moved on. ''(FYI - she’s probably [[death\|dead]] now. Try not to think about that for the sake of the exercise.)'' As a [[child\|kid]], it was a world of adventure and promise, where every [[book\|book]] was sure to take you on a magic carpet ride to faraway lands while helping you learn along the way.

	Hopefully [[you\|you]] know better by now. The library was nothing more than a [[Fanfiction.net\|cesspool of literary bile]], a place where the [[suethor\|talentless hacks of the writing world]] were free to dump their crappy paperback series about [[furry\|anthropomorphic animals]], a notable example being the '''Redwall''' series by [[Britfag\|Brian Jacques]].		Hopefully [[you\|you]] know better by now. The library was nothing more than a [[Fanfiction.net\|cesspool of literary bile]], a place where the [[suethor\|talentless hacks of the writing world]] were free to dump their crappy paperback series about [[furry\|anthropomorphic animals]], a notable example being the '''Redwall''' series by [[Britfag\|Brian Jacques]], rhymes with cakes.

	Since the tales of Redwall spawned nineteen novels, two picture books, an [[crappy\|animated]] [[television\|television]] show, a [[animu\|graphic novel]], and an [[lolwut\|opera]], you'd think that the series would be interesting, philosophical, and profound.		Since the tales of Redwall spawned nineteen novels, two picture books, an [[crappy\|animated]] [[television\|television]] show, a [[animu\|graphic novel]], and an [[lolwut\|opera]], you'd think that the series would be interesting, philosophical, and profound.

Stoic Sigma 2: /* External Links */

2025-02-16T03:35:19Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:35, 16 February 2025
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	{{Books}}		{{Books}}
	{{Britfags}}		{{Britfags}}
			{{Cartoons}}
	{{Timeline\|Featured article November 27, [[2010]]\|[[Strutting Leo]]\|{{PAGENAME}}\|[[Gay Teen Forum]]}}		{{Timeline\|Featured article November 27, [[2010]]\|[[Strutting Leo]]\|{{PAGENAME}}\|[[Gay Teen Forum]]}}

	[[Category: Furries]]		[[Category: Furries]]
	[[Category: deviantART]]		[[Category: deviantART]]

LordGrimThInvincible: No capitalist

2025-02-16T03:28:00Z

No capitalist

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:28, 16 February 2025
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	==External Links==		==External Links==
	*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]		*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]
	*{{reddit\|~~Redwall~~}}		*{{reddit\|redwall}}
	*{{reddit\|~~Eulalia~~}}		*{{reddit\|eulalia}}
	*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}		*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}
	*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}		*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}

LordGrimThInvincible: Linkz

2025-02-16T03:27:22Z

Linkz

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:27, 16 February 2025
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	*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]		*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]
	*{{reddit\|Redwall}}		*{{reddit\|Redwall}}
			*{{reddit\|Eulalia}}
	*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}		*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}
	*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}		*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}

LordGrimThInvincible: /* External Links */

2025-02-16T03:26:11Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:26, 16 February 2025
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	==External Links==		==External Links==
	*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]		*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]
			*{{reddit\|Redwall}}
	*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}		*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}
	*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}		*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}


	<br />		<br />

LordGrimThInvincible: Snake

2025-02-16T03:21:16Z

Snake

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:21, 16 February 2025
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	===Species===		===Species===

	Brian Jacques appeals to his [[stupid\|handicapped]] fanbase by making it super easy to tell which characters are the good guys and the bad guys. All you have to do is look at what species they are, and then [[Rorschach\|the magical benefits of black-and-white morality are instantly revealed]]! If they're a mouse, a squirrel, a [[Sonic\|hedgehog]], an otter, a [[badger]], a hare, or a mole, they're a good guy. If they're a ferret, a stoat, a weasel, a [[rat]], a [[fox]], or a polecat, they're pure evil. There are also sometimes birds and lizards, but nobody gives a fuck about them.		Brian Jacques appeals to his [[stupid\|handicapped]] fanbase by making it super easy to tell which characters are the good guys and the bad guys. All you have to do is look at what species they are, and then [[Rorschach\|the magical benefits of black-and-white morality are instantly revealed]]! If they're a mouse, a squirrel, a [[Sonic\|hedgehog]], an otter, a [[badger]], a hare, or a mole, they're a good guy. If they're a ferret, a stoat, a weasel, a [[rat]], a [[fox]], or a polecat, they're pure evil. If they're a snake, it is extra evil. There are also sometimes birds and lizards, but nobody gives a fuck about them.

	==Cybercatmia (aka Saphamia)==		==Cybercatmia (aka Saphamia)==

LordGrimThInvincible: Shrews!

2025-02-16T03:18:17Z

Shrews!

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:18, 16 February 2025
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	*'''Foremole''' - the most special [[retard\|retard]] of them all. Every last one of the moles is portrayed as mentally retarded, but it's like someone told this guy he had [[aspie\|Asperger's syndrome]], and now he has to parade around as the smartest dumbass of the group. [[win\|Fortunately, the animals at Redwall know how to deal with aspies-- the Foremole and his crew spend most of their days slaving in the underground drug tunnels beneath the abbey.]]		*'''Foremole''' - the most special [[retard\|retard]] of them all. Every last one of the moles is portrayed as mentally retarded, but it's like someone told this guy he had [[aspie\|Asperger's syndrome]], and now he has to parade around as the smartest dumbass of the group. [[win\|Fortunately, the animals at Redwall know how to deal with aspies-- the Foremole and his crew spend most of their days slaving in the underground drug tunnels beneath the abbey.]]

			*'''Log-a-log''' - The leader and river ferrier for the [[jews\|shrews]] of mossflower woods. Yell "LOGALOGALOGALOGALOGALOG!" Up into the sky and they will come and take you across the river.

	===Species===		===Species===

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Repairing.

2016-06-20T13:16:56Z

Repairing.

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:16, 20 June 2016
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	<center>		<center>
	{{morphquote\|RedwallFoodQuotes\|text-align:center;border:10px solid #cccccc;width:550px;height:200px;~~-moz-border-radius:35px;-webkit-~~border-radius:35px;background-color:eggwhite;padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px\|font-weight:bold\|		{{morphquote\|RedwallFoodQuotes\|text-align:center;border:10px solid #cccccc;width:550px;height:200px;border-radius:35px;background-color:eggwhite;padding-top:10px;padding-bottom:10px\|font-weight:bold\|
	It was a feast to remember, happiness and friendship enhanced by the best of Redwall fare. Puddings, pies, pasties and cakes were arranged between fruit, berries, and nuts, both fresh and preserved in honey from last autumn's harvest. Salads, breads and soups of every variety jostled for position with trifles and flans. Drogg Cellarhog had outdone himself with his selection of ales, cordials, teas, and fizzes. But the highlight was a great cheese, produced by Filorn, Boorab, Nimbalo, and Gundil.\|an exciting excerpt from the book ''Taggerung''		It was a feast to remember, happiness and friendship enhanced by the best of Redwall fare. Puddings, pies, pasties and cakes were arranged between fruit, berries, and nuts, both fresh and preserved in honey from last autumn's harvest. Salads, breads and soups of every variety jostled for position with trifles and flans. Drogg Cellarhog had outdone himself with his selection of ales, cordials, teas, and fizzes. But the highlight was a great cheese, produced by Filorn, Boorab, Nimbalo, and Gundil.\|an exciting excerpt from the book ''Taggerung''
	\|He cut a large wedge [of cheese], arranging it on a platter with some salad, pickled onions, and a farl of warm ovenbread, and passed it proudly along to Deyna.\|an excerpt from the same page of ''Taggerung''		\|He cut a large wedge [of cheese], arranging it on a platter with some salad, pickled onions, and a farl of warm ovenbread, and passed it proudly along to Deyna.\|an excerpt from the same page of ''Taggerung''
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	'''Warriors'''-1999		'''Warriors'''-1999
	This book tells the story of Martin the Warrior as he first invades a slave compound, and then kills an evil Russian cat and builds Redwall. It has been heavily criticized as condensed and containing nothing but non-stop senseless violence. Not to be confused with another book about cats called [[Warriors]].		This book tells the story of Martin the Warrior as he first invades a slave compound, and then kills an evil Russian cat and builds Redwall. It has been heavily criticized as condensed and containing nothing but non-stop senseless violence, which means it's just a typical Redwall book but without the filler. Not to be confused with another book about cats called [[Warriors]].

	'''The Legend of Luke'''-2007		'''The Legend of Luke'''-2007
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	'''Mattimeo'''-1989		'''Mattimeo'''-1989
	A fox named Slagar and his gang infilitrates Redwall disguised as a circus band. Slagar and his gang drug the residents of Redwall Abbey, steal several of their kidneys, and take their young to a kingdom called Malkariss, where they will be [[BDSM\|friends]] forever and ever to Malkariss (Malkariss, by the way, is an old scrawny, anorexic polecat who [[Irony\|heroically]] hides behind a big scary furry statue! [[Pedobear\|You probably don't want to know what he does with his cuddly under-aged friends inside that scary statue]]!) . It's up to Matthias and his friends to save their [[Virginity\|butts]].		A fox named Slagar and his gang infilitrates Redwall disguised as a circus band. Slagar and his gang drug the residents of Redwall Abbey, steal several of their kidneys, and take their young to a kingdom called Malkariss, where they will be [[BDSM\|friends]] forever and ever to Malkariss (Malkariss, by the way, is an old scrawny, anorexic polecat who [[Irony\|heroically]] hides behind a big scary furry statue! [[Pedobear\|You probably don't want to know what he does with his cuddly under-aged friends inside that scary statue]]!) . It's up to Matthias and his friends to save their [[Virginity\|butts]].

			== The Cartoon ==

			[[File:Redwallity.png\|thumb\|right\|Fucking beautiful]]
			{{quote\|Rheeeeeeeedwhaaooooooooooooooooooll!\|Matthias's [[orgasm\|battle]] cry, [[bullshit\|which never ever gets old.]]}}
			Not quite understanding that nobody except for sick fucks wanted to see medieval mice [[Yiff in hell\|stabbing each other to death]], some Canadians and Europeans decided to make a cartoon for American children and, despite the horrific imagery and brutal violence, [[win\|put it on the same station as Arthur.]] While the visuals were [[crap\|average]], season one in particular made excellent usage of sound effects to scar little kids, most often by showing a character screaming in front a giant snake or Constance before the screen fades to black and the audience [[metal\|hears the sounds of bone crunching,]] letting the little kids imagine for themselves just how much of a painful, gory mess the attack was. Coming up next, it's Clifford the Big Red Dog!

			The first season follows the adventures of Matthias as he sits in his room and masturbates while George Clooney (the Scourge!) wages war on the abbey until a ghost tells him to GTFO and get the magical sword of nostalgia from Asmodeus, the snake Pokemon, in order to save the abbey from Mr. Cluny's special needs class. While he's away for-fucking-ever trying to get the sword, the abbey does jack all except let Constance troll Cluny's army by killing everyone because Cluny's a retard that can't do anything except either deliberately get his men killed or leave them to die. Each "plan" ends with him shaking his fist in the air while shouting [[cliche\|"I'll get you next time Redwall Abbey,"]] followed by him walking off-screen to take his [[meth\|Ritalin]]. The abbey, [[fail\|rather than use the ballista from episode 8 to pwn Cluny]], instead [[Reddit\|circlejerks about how peaceful and liberal they are]] until Cluny takes a bunch of hostages and finally pwns the abbey until Matthias returns with the magical sword of plot and cuts a rope, causing a bell to drop on the rat who was for some reason standing directly under it. Cluny dies as he lived, with no roadblocks on the retard road.

			Season two aka ''Baby Rollo: The Adventures of Some Annoying Babyfur,'' is based off of Mattimeo, and stars a rambunctious young baby [[Touhou\|yukkuri]] named Rollo before he became a nigger in Seth MacFarlene's cartoons. [[Boring\|Captivating]] the audience with his inability to speak and with the charming help of everyone in the abbey (who, for some reason, just [[awesome\|let him go get drunk and break everything]]), baby Rollo helps uncover a puzzle in B plot that has absolutely nothing to do with Matthias and the gang tracking down Nigel Thornberry and the children he raped, while [[Sonic\|shouting the same one liners]] in every battle. A lot of your old friends get pwned and sent to furry Hell to be used as background characters for [[Dave Hopkins]], so don't feel bad if you don't give a shit by the end of the first five episodes.

			Season three follows the story of Martin the Warrior during his first year of Mossflower High School as he tries to impress the girl of his dreams just in time for the big dance, but how is a simpleton like Martin supposed to shine brightly enough to even get close to her? How is he supposed to learn the legendary ''Noonvale Jig'' when Mrs. Johnson won't stop giving him math homework? To make things worse a wacky misunderstanding has caused Martin to be on the receiving end of some hilarious pranks from school bully Felldoh! Will Martin best his tormentor and get the girl of his dreams? Will this be just as boring as the book it's based off of? Who even cares?

	== See Also ==		== See Also ==

imported>SaveTheWhales: /* The Books */

2015-05-28T01:56:44Z

The Books

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:56, 28 May 2015
(No difference)

imported>SaveTheWhales: /* The Books */

2015-05-28T01:56:44Z

The Books

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:56, 28 May 2015
(No difference)

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:43, 17 February 2025
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	Think back to your elementary school [[library\|library]]. Picture the shelves lining the walls, the colorful array of book spines, and the [[old\|sweet old lady librarian]] who would always help you pick out what to read next, tell your class stories in the rocking chair, and make sure to always let everyone see the [[pix\|pictures]] before she moved on. ''(FYI - she’s probably [[death\|dead]] now. Try not to think about that for the sake of the exercise.)'' As a [[child\|kid]], it was a world of adventure and promise, where every [[book\|book]] was sure to take you on a magic carpet ride to faraway lands while helping you learn along the way.		Think back to your elementary school [[library\|library]]. Picture the shelves lining the walls, the colorful array of book spines, and the [[old\|sweet old lady librarian]] who would always help you pick out what to read next, tell your class stories in the rocking chair, and make sure to always let everyone see the [[pix\|pictures]] before she moved on. ''(FYI - she’s probably [[death\|dead]] now. Try not to think about that for the sake of the exercise.)'' As a [[child\|kid]], it was a world of adventure and promise, where every [[book\|book]] was sure to take you on a magic carpet ride to faraway lands while helping you learn along the way.

	Hopefully [[you\|you]] know better by now. The library was nothing more than a [[Fanfiction.net\|cesspool of literary bile]], a place where the [[suethor\|talentless hacks of the writing world]] were free to dump their crappy paperback series about [[furry\|anthropomorphic animals]], a notable example being the '''Redwall''' series by [[Britfag\|Brian Jacques]].		Hopefully [[you\|you]] know better by now. The library was nothing more than a [[Fanfiction.net\|cesspool of literary bile]], a place where the [[suethor\|talentless hacks of the writing world]] were free to dump their crappy paperback series about [[furry\|anthropomorphic animals]], a notable example being the '''Redwall''' series by [[Britfag\|Brian Jacques]], rhymes with cakes.

	Since the tales of Redwall spawned nineteen novels, two picture books, an [[crappy\|animated]] [[television\|television]] show, a [[animu\|graphic novel]], and an [[lolwut\|opera]], you'd think that the series would be interesting, philosophical, and profound.		Since the tales of Redwall spawned nineteen novels, two picture books, an [[crappy\|animated]] [[television\|television]] show, a [[animu\|graphic novel]], and an [[lolwut\|opera]], you'd think that the series would be interesting, philosophical, and profound.

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:27, 16 February 2025
Line 149:		Line 149:
	*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]		*[http://www.redwall.org Redwall's official site]
	*{{reddit\|Redwall}}		*{{reddit\|Redwall}}
			*{{reddit\|Eulalia}}
	*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}		*{{deviantart\|cybercatmia}}
	*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}		*{{deviantart\|Saphamia}}