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Undo revision 1113288 by Craigjones125 (talk)

imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

2015-06-17T03:03:32Z

Ray's self-proclaimed careers

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imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

2015-06-17T03:03:32Z

Ray's self-proclaimed careers

← Older revision	Revision as of 03:03, 17 June 2015
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imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

2015-06-17T03:03:32Z

Ray's self-proclaimed careers

← Older revision	Revision as of 03:03, 17 June 2015
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imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

2015-06-17T03:03:32Z

Ray's self-proclaimed careers

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[[Image:Gordon Roy Parker.jpg|thumb|Gordon Roy Parker, who uses the fake name Ray Gordon]]

'''Gordon Roy Parker''', who likes to pretend his name is Ray Gordon, is a 45 year old semi-well known [[Usenet]] [[Insane|kook]] and [[YouTube]] user that lived with his mother in [[Will Smith|West Philadelphia]]. He is known through hundreds of usernames online, and seems to have an issue sticking with one identity. Many of his older Twitter accounts are suspended due to hate speech against women.

==On USENET==

One of Gordon's first notable acts was when he [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.hypnosis/msg/19450f02ce03007c harassed a woman named Tabitha Hassell] into moving in order to get away from him. Gordon has also been known to try to solicit underage gymnasts to convince them to let him coach them. He also posts [[Fanfiction|fanfic]] that revolves around himself [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sex.stories/msg/e17add4a3645c68e torturing, raping and killing young gymnasts]. alt.seduction.fast became his favorite group soon after he discovered it, and his life revolved around it ever since.

Right after the [[JEWS DID WTC|jews did wtc]], Gordon quickly proclaimed that there was no significant loss of life in those towers. Gordon quickly took steps to [[Delete fucking everything|remove the posts from the Google Groups archive]], but the posts were saved thanks to several people [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sport.horse-racing/msg/18ad935a954689a3 reposting them all over the usenets].

==On YouTube==

In 2010, as part of his attempt to transform himself into the next [[Chris-Chan]], Gordon got himself a state-of-the-art-in-1997 video camera and uploaded some videos to his YouTube account. Prior to this, however, he hired a woman named [http://www.youtube.com/user/princessxjodie Princess Jodie] to make several videos for him to post on his account that totaled less than one minute combined. The whereabouts of these videos at present are unknown, but many believe that Gordon's fapping to them while sobbing at his permavirgin status.

As of late, Gordon seems to limit his time on YouTube to posting comments where he bitches about women not fucking him, complains about commercials on YouTube, whines about various MRA positions, and various comments about his "stories", such as General Hospital.

==On Yahoo Groups==

Gordon first discovered the internet outside of usenet in 2002 when he created the Yahoo group [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theseductionlibrary/ The Seduction Library]. The group has been abandoned since 2003.

In 2007, Gordon tried creating another Yahoo group called [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/theseductionlibrary/ Project 5,000], with the stated goal of attaining 5,000 members so that he could collect $10 from each of them. The current membership count of 78 is slightly less than the stated goal.

==On Twitter==

Not content with being exposed as an incompetent, bumbling fool on Usenet, Youtube and Yahoo Groups, Gordon signed up for a Twitter account to demonstrate his ability to make a complete asshat out of himself in less than 140 characters. At least five of his socks (under the names toosmarttofail, HorseOfWallSt, BettorOffSingle, OriginalRayPUA, and Ray_Gordon) have been suspended, and his current (as of April 4th, 2015) account, [https://twitter.com/chicksdigchess ChicksDigChess] has only been active for 6 days.

==[[E-lawyer]]==

Gordon fancies himself a lawyer, as evidenced by the multiple lawsuits he has filed (and lost) over the years. One of the most notable ones was where he tried to sue Google for $10,000,000,000 ('''THAT'S TEN FUCKING BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!'''). Shockingly, he didn't win his $10,000,000,000 jackpot.

Not to be discouraged, Gordon then filed suit against [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.seduction.fast/msg/b073e0ab464d3e7d Microsoft and Yahoo] for a mere $150,000.

Other victims^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hdefendants of Gordon include the University of Pennsylvania and several thousand people named John Doe. He constantly threatens people who mock him on social media with lawsuits.

== On Encyclopedia Dramatica ==

On December 22nd, 2011, Gordon Roy Parker discovered that someone had written an article about him and posted it to Encyclopedia Dramatica. In a stroke of genius, Gordon came up with the [[Retarded|brilliant]] idea of [[User:Betweenjackpots|creating an Encyclopedia Dramatica account]] and [[BLANKING_IN_PROGRESS|deleting all the content]] within the article. One can only speculate as to how much Gordon cried when is brilliant plan failed.

On August 31st, 2012, having learned nothing from his previous attempt to take down ED, Gordon sent a [[DMCA]] takedown request to Google in an attempt to get this page taken off of their search page. The fact that you are currently reading this page should tell you how successful that attempt was.

==Family==

Gordon lived with his mother from the time he was born (~1966) until her death in 2007. Gordon was so upset by her death that he referred to it as a vacation on one of his blogs. At one point, someone tried to [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.hypnosis/msg/6993113f3b19a980 alert Gordon's mother to her son's activities], but Gordon somehow managed to interpret this as [http://groups.google.com/group/alt.hypnosis/msg/370cf5f2d805a160 a death threat].

Gordon is also alleged to have a brother named Walter, however nobody has been able to verify this, beyond a few posts by someone claiming to be Walter in 2001 & 2002.

==Ray's self-proclaimed careers==
At various times in the past, Gordon has claimed to be:

* Pro gymnastics coach - Claims to train several gymnasts online
* Pro chess player and/or chess coach - Only a bit shy of becoming World Champion. Also claims to be Internationally ranked Note: the USCF has NO listing of him on their website. According to information we have, Ray's old rating exists, but his membership is not current.
* Pro handicapper and oddsmaker - According to his web site
* Pro finance market analyzer - According to his web site
* [[RooshV|Pro relationships adviser]] - Teaches men "how to get laid"
* Pro hypnotist and hypnosis instructor - Harasses and bad mouths female hypnotists
* Writer - Writes a book about seduction, horse racing and Dominique Moceanu
* Best secretary in the USA - But got fired because he wasn't an "office whore"
* Paralegal - Pennsylvania requires some sort of professional certification, but Ray doesn't know that.
* Activist against child abuse and sexual harassment - Claims that gymnastics coaches are child abusers, yet still claims to be one (see above)
* Professional psychic - And still doesn't have a clue about the Editorial Staff of RayFAQ
* [[Al Sharpton|Civil Rights Activist]] - Claims that hiring discrimination has prevented him from being employed. Filed suit against UPenn. Hmmm...
* [[LiveJournal|Journalist]] - Not accredited by any news agency, though.
* Software Company CEO & entrepreneur - Own company, of course
* Successful business owner - Also known as broke, and filed bankruptcy in 1997.
* [[Guru|Internet guru ]]- He can't read headers on Usenet posts, but he's learning.
* Sports historian - Hmm...
* [[Body Building|Body builder]] - And of course extremely good looking
* Jesus Christ - Only in past life though.
* Skilled Hypnotist - Claims to be able to "Gain [[rape|TOTAL Sexual Control]]" over women

==Other Links==

*[http://www.toosmarttofail.com/ The OFFICIAL SITE of Ray Gordon!!] - Where he tries to sell you several e-books.
*[http://www.youtube.com/user/BettorOffSingle Gordon's Youtube account]
*[https://plus.google.com/116444281748402643793/about Gordon't Google+ account]
*<s>[http://www.mycolumbus.net/chewonthis/ A somewhat disorganized page detailing some of Gordon's activities, including 121(!) of Gordon's socks]</s> deleted
*[http://www.curearchives.com/the-RAY-FAQ-soon-back-online.t6748-53.html Message board post that contains a partial list of usernames that Gordon has used since 1996]
*[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/17/google_wins_usenet_copyright_case/ News story about Gordon losing his ten billion dollar lolsuit against Google]
*[http://www.paed.uscourts.gov/documents/opinions/06D0306P.pdf Link to the dismissal of Gordon's suit against Google]
*[http://www.google.com/transparencyreport/removals/copyright/requests/307870/ Google deciding not to help Gordon Roy Parker cover up his past (and ongoing) incompetence.]

{{Usenet}}

[[Category:YouTube]][[Category:People]][[Category:Usenet]][[Category:Dying Alone]]

Ray Gordon - Revision history

imported>Cobaltcat: Undo revision 1113288 by Craigjones125 (talk)

imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */

imported>Mantequilla: /* Ray's self-proclaimed careers */