LordGrimThInvincible: Archiving

2025-08-08T13:49:10Z

Archiving

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:49, 8 August 2025
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	==Links==		==Links==
	*[http://www.amazon.com/Stealing-Network-How-Own-Identity/dp/B000FBHNEU Raven co-authored a book about identity theft. It's as useless as it is unreadable. Buy it today!]		*[http://www.amazon.com/Stealing-Network-How-Own-Identity/dp/B000FBHNEU Raven co-authored a book about identity theft. It's as useless as it is unreadable. Buy it today!] – DEAD LINK! ([https://web.archive.org/web/20071213100747/https://www.amazon.com/Stealing-Network-How-Own-Identity/dp/B000FBHNEU Archive])

	==See Also==		==See Also==

imported>Uberfukken at 00:12, 12 March 2019

2019-03-12T00:12:48Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:12, 12 March 2019
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	{{SecurityFaggots}}		{{SecurityFaggots}}
			{{softwarez}}
	[[Category:People]]		[[Category:People]]
	[[Category:Softwarez]]		[[Category:Softwarez]]

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

2014-07-09T06:31:55Z

Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:31, 9 July 2014
(No difference)

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

2014-07-09T06:31:55Z

Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech

← Older revision	Revision as of 06:31, 9 July 2014
(No difference)

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

2014-07-09T06:31:55Z

Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:31, 9 July 2014
(No difference)

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

2014-07-09T06:31:55Z

Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech

New page

Raven Adler is a posturing female [[Ethical Hacker|whitehat]] hacker. She had her laptop running OS X taken over at Schmoocon, and pushed forward [[Faggot|whitehat]] vulnerability assessment state-of-the-art by several years when she announced '''"[[Stupid|Zero day can happen to anyone]]"'''

==Raven's 10 Minutes of Fame==
Raven earned the attention of retards around the world when she came to the conclusion that her shoddy job of securing her laptop at a convention infested with ex-[[hacker]]s was somehow [[Apple]]'s fault. Through endlessly [[circular logic]] she deduced that the reason that her laptop was hacked was that "zero day can happen to anyone," not that she was too [[retard]]ed to make sure that her shit was actually secure.

It turns out Raven lent her laptop to her [[boyfriend]] only to have it [[Kill it with fire|destroyed]] mere minutes later by an elite [[hacker]] who managed to somehow wander into the convention. When she complained to [[Apple]] about the security flaw, she was apparently [[ROFL|laughed off the phone]] by the [[Steve Jobs|person on the other end]]. Now [[butthurt]] she complained to the [[internet]] and was thoroughly [[ignored]]:

{{quote|I didn't go public with it because I wanted a smoking gun first. Security is very much a '[[Tits or GTFO|show me]]' industry, and I didn't want to make claims that I couldn't substantiate. I did approach Apple, and they [[In the kitchen|pretty much blew me off]]. I sent them a [[TL;DR|detailed event report]], offered up my system for [[CSI|forensic analysis]], and offered to help [[Fellatio|in any way I could]]. They went to the press, gave a reporter my name (I had not gone to the press) and dished some crap about how I let my boyfriend use my computer and he probably did something to disable my firewall and cause it to [[Suicide|auto-own]] itself or something. Dude. My boyfriend does not have admin permissions on my machine, for starters. Way to help, Apple.|Raven}}

{{quote|[[brb, soup]].|[[Apple]]'s response}}

==[[WTF]] is [[Apocalypse|Zero Day]]?==
The concept of Zero Day goes all the way back to the [[At least 100 years ago|beginning of software development]]. The theory is that evil "[[Anonymous|black hat]]" hackers with access to unreleased software can find exploits before the release date, and can then magically [[Chocolate Rain|bring torrents of ruination]] upon the heads of the [[You|unsuspecting public]]. [[NORP|Normal people]] avoid this by:
#Avoiding [[In beta|betatests]] at all costs
#Waiting for [[Microsoft|corporations]] to [[DOS|iron out all the bugs]] before updating.
#Using [[common sense]].
It's interesting to note that using the "zero day" argument is a good excuse for those too [[lazy]] to properly secure their systems. [[GOBBLES]] pointed this out to Raven at SchmooCon, much to the entertainment of people who [[Nobody|find this sort of stuff interesting]].

<center>
===Raven's Famed "I'm a Total [[Fucktard]]" Speech===
<youtube>L74o9RQbkUA</youtube>
</center>

==Links==
*[http://www.amazon.com/Stealing-Network-How-Own-Identity/dp/B000FBHNEU Raven co-authored a book about identity theft. It's as useless as it is unreadable. Buy it today!]

==See Also==
*[[0-day]]
*[[Defcon]]
*[[GOBBLES]]
*[[Teen Titans]]

{{SecurityFaggots}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:Softwarez]]

Raven - Revision history

LordGrimThInvincible: Archiving

imported>Uberfukken at 00:12, 12 March 2019

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */

imported>Boudica: /* Raven's Famed "I'm a Total Fucktard" Speech */