Perth - Revision history

imported>Disassemblyline: interesting reference to a flushed article (as per https://web.archive.org/web/20170526170840/https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Colin_Barnett), most likely added by the same ausfailian who created said article. removed (rs)

2022-04-14T01:34:22Z

interesting reference to a flushed article (as per https://web.archive.org/web/20170526170840/https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Colin_Barnett), most likely added by the same ausfailian who created said article. removed (rs)

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:34, 14 April 2022
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[Image:Perth.jpg\|thumb\|right\|A modern and vibrant city]]		[[Image:Perth.jpg\|thumb\|right\|A modern and vibrant city]]
	[[Image:Perthworld.jpg\|thumb\|Perth in relation to the rest of the world]]		[[Image:Perthworld.jpg\|thumb\|Perth in relation to the rest of the world]]
	'''Perth''' is a city in the middle of fucking nowhere (or as the Australians themselves say, "[[buttsecks\|bum fuck]] nowhere") on the beach in Western [[Australia]]. It is one of only seven or eight <s>civilized</s> settlements on the [[XBox\|huge]] and [[centipedes\|dangerous]] desert continent, and is internationally known as "The Land of Fires, Floods and Flies." Each year, the majority of Australia's buzzing set take their holiday from the endless deserts and descend upon Perth~~. It is ruled by King [[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Colin_Barnett]] and is a principality of New England~~.		'''Perth''' is a city in the middle of fucking nowhere (or as the Australians themselves say, "[[buttsecks\|bum fuck]] nowhere") on the beach in Western [[Australia]]. It is one of only seven or eight <s>civilized</s> settlements on the [[XBox\|huge]] and [[centipedes\|dangerous]] desert continent, and is internationally known as "The Land of Fires, Floods and Flies." Each year, the majority of Australia's buzzing set take their holiday from the endless deserts and descend upon Perth.

	In the 21st century, Perth is a place so lovely that its native sons and daughters who live for any long-ish period in other parts of the world frequently die of [[Charmaine Dragun\|homesickness]], or become so homesick that [[Heath Ledger\|they kill themselves]]. Scientists and doctors worldwide are baffled by this phenomena, as Perth is a regular contender for [[fact\|MOST BORING PLACE TO LIVE EVAR]].		In the 21st century, Perth is a place so lovely that its native sons and daughters who live for any long-ish period in other parts of the world frequently die of [[Charmaine Dragun\|homesickness]], or become so homesick that [[Heath Ledger\|they kill themselves]]. Scientists and doctors worldwide are baffled by this phenomena, as Perth is a regular contender for [[fact\|MOST BORING PLACE TO LIVE EVAR]].

imported>AbominableIntelligence: /* top */domain change, replaced: dramatica.se → dramatica.rs

2017-03-24T00:19:46Z

top: domain change, replaced: dramatica.se → dramatica.rs

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:19, 24 March 2017
Line 1:		Line 1:
	[[Image:Perth.jpg\|thumb\|right\|A modern and vibrant city]]		[[Image:Perth.jpg\|thumb\|right\|A modern and vibrant city]]
	[[Image:Perthworld.jpg\|thumb\|Perth in relation to the rest of the world]]		[[Image:Perthworld.jpg\|thumb\|Perth in relation to the rest of the world]]
	'''Perth''' is a city in the middle of fucking nowhere (or as the Australians themselves say, "[[buttsecks\|bum fuck]] nowhere") on the beach in Western [[Australia]]. It is one of only seven or eight <s>civilized</s> settlements on the [[XBox\|huge]] and [[centipedes\|dangerous]] desert continent, and is internationally known as "The Land of Fires, Floods and Flies." Each year, the majority of Australia's buzzing set take their holiday from the endless deserts and descend upon Perth.		'''Perth''' is a city in the middle of fucking nowhere (or as the Australians themselves say, "[[buttsecks\|bum fuck]] nowhere") on the beach in Western [[Australia]]. It is one of only seven or eight <s>civilized</s> settlements on the [[XBox\|huge]] and [[centipedes\|dangerous]] desert continent, and is internationally known as "The Land of Fires, Floods and Flies." Each year, the majority of Australia's buzzing set take their holiday from the endless deserts and descend upon Perth. It is ruled by King [[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Colin_Barnett]] and is a principality of New England.

	In the 21st century, Perth is a place so lovely that its native sons and daughters who live for any long-ish period in other parts of the world frequently die of [[Charmaine Dragun\|homesickness]], or become so homesick that [[Heath Ledger\|they kill themselves]]. Scientists and doctors worldwide are baffled by this phenomena, as Perth is a regular contender for [[fact\|MOST BORING PLACE TO LIVE EVAR]].		In the 21st century, Perth is a place so lovely that its native sons and daughters who live for any long-ish period in other parts of the world frequently die of [[Charmaine Dragun\|homesickness]], or become so homesick that [[Heath Ledger\|they kill themselves]]. Scientists and doctors worldwide are baffled by this phenomena, as Perth is a regular contender for [[fact\|MOST BORING PLACE TO LIVE EVAR]].
Line 58:		Line 58:
	*Casurina [[Prison]].		*Casurina [[Prison]].
	*[[shit\|Perth]].		*[[shit\|Perth]].

			== Notable residents ==

			* '''[[Evil-unveiled.com/Bill_Evans\|Bill Evans]]'''
			* '''[[Boochan]]'''
			* '''[[Cbee]]'''
			* '''[[Charmaine Dragun]]'''
			* '''[[Degen]]'''
			* '''[[Geoffrey Leonard]]'''
			* '''[[HowToBasic]]'''

	==How to troll a Perth Newb ('''PooB''')==		==How to troll a Perth Newb ('''PooB''')==

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-08T03:22:46Z

Fixing.

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:22, 8 June 2011
(No difference)

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-08T03:22:46Z

Fixing.

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:22, 8 June 2011
(No difference)

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-08T03:22:46Z

Fixing.

← Older revision	Revision as of 03:22, 8 June 2011
(No difference)

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-08T03:22:46Z

Fixing.

New page

[[Image:Perth.jpg|thumb|right|A modern and vibrant city]]
[[Image:Perthworld.jpg|thumb|Perth in relation to the rest of the world]]
'''Perth''' is a city in the middle of fucking nowhere (or as the Australians themselves say, "[[buttsecks|bum fuck]] nowhere") on the beach in Western [[Australia]]. It is one of only seven or eight <s>civilized</s> settlements on the [[XBox|huge]] and [[centipedes|dangerous]] desert continent, and is internationally known as "The Land of Fires, Floods and Flies." Each year, the majority of Australia's buzzing set take their holiday from the endless deserts and descend upon Perth.

In the 21st century, Perth is a place so lovely that its native sons and daughters who live for any long-ish period in other parts of the world frequently die of [[Charmaine Dragun|homesickness]], or become so homesick that [[Heath Ledger|they kill themselves]]. Scientists and doctors worldwide are baffled by this phenomena, as Perth is a regular contender for [[fact|MOST BORING PLACE TO LIVE EVAR]].

==History==

Perth was founded in the 19th century by [[Prison_rape | convicts]] who had been exiled in disgrace from the convict colonies of [[Sydney]] and [[Melbourne]], on the opposite side of the country. Back in those days it was known as the [[Bong]] River colony, ruled by the dictator John Forrest.

1933, Perth citizens had an opportunity to go to war with the rest of Australia. They didn't--and now they are forever CANBERRA's [[bitch | BITCH]].

In 1984, Perth constructed its first power plant, supplying the local electricity needs. Previously electricity had to be shipped in from Singapore and sold at high costs to consumers.

1987 was an important year for Perth (and more importantly Fremantle) when convicted drug dealer Alan Bond paid the worlds Cartographers to include both towns on all future maps.

==People==

Perth is made up of various peoples, from bogans to yobbos. Lucky for you Perth is too far away for them to be of any concern to the rest of the world. Not to say that they won't [[rape]] and [[murder]] you if you make eye contact. Perth people are also IRL [[newbs]], or '''poobs'''. Any music that doesn't sound like Aye-See-Dick-See is automatically branded as techno. Jazz is techno too and so is classical.

In Perth you can enjoy a unique lifestyle where your amputated left arm, right leg and your firstborn child can be traded for a pint of cat urine a.k.a. domestic beer and one weeks rent in an apartment nearly 1% bigger then a [[jail]] cell. Cardboard boxes don't come cheap these days and thus require renovation. Perth is also home to the friendliest Aboriginal who pimp your ride by smashing all your car windows in return for stealing [[you|your]] [[shit]].

Famous people from Perth include [[Snapesnogger]], [[Heath Ledger|The Joker]], and the Claremont Serial Killer, a "true legend" (in local colliquial terms) who butchered a bunch of strippers and has still evaded capture. This can be explained by Perth's strong convict stock of murderous masterminds and half-arsed police force who plan on quitting when CCTV technology finally arrives to Perth via [[Londonistan]].

<center>
{{frame|{{fv|auslamvids|background-color: white;|font-weight: bold;
|<center>'''Perth's top cultural moment of the decade'''<br><youtube>TFRqxLQkaGM</youtube></center>
|<center>'''How Perthites deal with their friendly police'''<br><youtube>vEyLr2AEyLI</youtube></center>
}}|border=white|background=white}}</center>

==Geography and Climate==
[[Image:Perthtemps.gif|thumb|The climate of Perth is delightful]]
It rains 13 months a year in Perth, and the average temperature is -33 degrees. Travelers are encouraged to pack clothing suitable for arctic climates, and a snow-mobile is also useful in the winter months.

Perth is situated on the Bong River, an open sewer which runs from the Swan Brewery in Canning Vale to Little Creatures Brewery in Fremantle.

==Sport==

The most common sport in Perth is [[sodomy | Australian Football]], or Foody, as it is known in the [[bogan | local]] dialect. Perth has a team in the national competition called the West Coke Eagles, who get [[raped | buthurt]] by their main rivals the Freo Dongers.

==Places to Visit==

The Northbridge entertainment district is a great place for tourists to visit after hours, and offers many activities including: [[Fun | Street Fights]], [[Food | Binge Drinking]], and [[Rape]].

other places of interest include:
*Balga
*Rockingham
*Kwinana
*Bayswater
*Lockridge
*Graylands Mental Hospital

==Places to avoid==

*Fremantle.
*Claremont (if you're a fat blonde chick).
*Casurina [[Prison]].
*[[shit|Perth]].

==How to troll a Perth Newb ('''PooB''')==

*Say that [[Melbourne]] (or <insert city here>) is sooooo much betta!!!111one
*Use Internet slang IRL (note: this will severely [[rape]] a Perth inhabitant as [[fact|'''there are no Internets in Perth''']])
*Brag about how 2 years ago, you downloaded the movie he/she only just paid movie tickets for or
*Tell him/her you can download free [[Fox News|FOXTEL]] from the future by using this thing called [[Internets]]. -This will [[an hero]] both the average [[bogan]] unaware of the internets existance and the [[butthurt]] [[snob|rich cunt]] minority over the [[Shit nobody cares about|piracy of Happy Feet]].
*Inform him/her that what they're wearing now looked [[pretty cool guy|really cool]] in the 80's and how you can't wait for [[evolution|another 30 years]] so they can wear the clothes you're wearing now.
*Inform him/her that you had better Internets [[at least 100]] years ago.
*Ask why Perth is such a [[Ghetto|small village]] and why it never [[evolution|evolved]] into a city.

==Gallery==

<gallery>
Image:Perthtrain.JPG|It is a very long train ride to Perth
Image:Wakangaroo.jpg|Skippy
Image:Drunkabos.jpg|Perth has a real problem with aboriginal drunkards
Image:Perthanon.jpg|The brave youth of Perth were among the first to make [[Project Chanology|a stand against Scientology]]
</gallery>

{{Australia}}
<br />
{{stub}}
[[Category:Locations]]