imported>JuniusThaddeus: moved Objectiveministries to ObjectiveMinistries: Camelcase.

2015-11-09T14:45:47Z

moved Objectiveministries to ObjectiveMinistries: Camelcase.

New page

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[http://www.objectiveministries.org/ Objectiveministries.org] is an apparently serious (but nonetheless satirical) [[Christian]] fundamentalist site that provides lots of [[lulz]] because [[noone]] is totally sure of its veracity.

==Attempt to take over the [[Internets]]==
This says it all:
:''The Internet was created by the United States of America - a Christian nation [http://www.grace24u.org/cnation.html 1][http://www.wherethetruthhurts.org/tractsbooksread.php 2] [http://www.afn.org/%7Egovern/Christian_Nation.html 3] - and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hate speech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.''

They are like trying to [http://www.objectiveministries.org/shutdown/ shut down] sites like [http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ Landover Baptist] and have called [[YTMND]] a terrorist organization, but they will never succeed because everyone can see how fucktarded they are. ([http://www.objectiveministries.org/creation/projectpterosaur.html They even believe there are still dinosaurs]).

[[Image:Autocunnilingus.jpg|thumb|The only [[sex|action]] these [[fuckwit]]s can get.]]

==Evidence that the folks at Objective Ministries are [[batshit insane]]==

More on the subject of dinosaurs:
"Although exceedingly rare, living dinosaur and related species can still be found world wide. Some famous examples are the Loch Ness Monster, a Scottish plesiosaur (or leviathan); Mokele-Mbembe, an African sauropod; and the Chupacabra, a South American ''Velociraptor''. This obviously proves that man and dinosaur have existed -- and continue to exist -- contemporaneously." Obviously. These twats (who make even [[furries]] seem perfectly reasonable in comparison) also say that all dinosaurs were plant-eaters, and that attempts to portray tyrannosaurs in a slightly realistic fashion (i.e., ''Jurassic Park'') are part of a conspiracy to turn [[America]] into a secularist state, or something equally dire.

[[Image:Christiangoatse.png|right|thumb|Christian's [[Goatse|Goatse]]]]
[[some_argue|Some experts believe]] that viewing the ObjectiveMinistries website can cause a person to lose [[at least 100]] brain cells per second. Naturally, anyone who disagrees with these [[fucktards]] is labeled a [[terrorist]]. In response to a DVD entitled ''The God That Wasn't There'', these [[idiot]]s posted the following on their website:
"If your church is targeted, we urge you to take the matter seriously and report the incident to [[The Department of Homeland Security]]. While the fliers and poorly produced DVDs may seem like some juvenile prank pulled by Secularized teens, the people doing these acts of domestic terrorism are part of an axis of anti-Christianity that is aligned with bioterrorists who seek to wipe out 90% of humanity with Ebola virus. We cannot stress strongly enough that you should not open any of the DVD cases as it is unknown what sort of agents or improvised devices might be inside."

Their website is so [[creepy]] in its [[fucktard|fucktardedness]] that it remains a distinct possibility that the site is meant only as means of generating [[lulz]]. They are, however, already an [[old meme]], and so must move on to [[lemonparty|lemonparties]] if they want people to pay any more attention to them. A variation of the [[Fifty Hitler Post]] incorporating either [[Muhammad]] or [[Evolution|Darwin]] would be an amusing way of [[Category:drama-generating_techniques|creating drama]] if you should encounter one of [[Idiot|these people]] on the [[Internets]].

==Interesting facts==
* [[Ann Coulter]] has personally blown every single member of ObjectiveMinistries.
* Every contributor to their site is a certified [[attention whore]].
* A public statement from [[Jesus]] called the ObjectiveMinistries staff "...[[fag|ass-munching]], [[vapid twat]]s who seriously need to [[get laid]] and stop being [[pot|pot-smoking]] [[You_don%27t_have_any_friends|losers]] who steal. And stop hijacking [[God|My]] [[Religion|faith]], damn it."
* [[Jews|The Jews]], [[Homosexuality|faggots]], and black person all fund ObjectiveMinistries, in the hopes that it will make people think that all of [[Christianity]] must be [[batshit insane]].
*The ''T. rex'' is an herbivore. The image of the carnivorous ''T. rex'' is [[atheist|secularist]] [[bullshit|propaganda]].
*[[Atheist]]s reject god because of their affinity for [[drug|coffee]].
[[Image:Atheist.png]]

==Stupid products==
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin.20618946 Laughing Jesus thong.]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin.20628982 Sperm bumper sticker.]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin/568765 Ugly baby products.]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin/561051 Hindu-hater products.]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin/561030 Atheist converting shirts.]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin/561082 Kanga JEW?]
*[http://www.cafepress.com/objectivemin/561007 Mommy, why did the gays steal a symbol of God's love for us?]

==Related links==
*[http://www.objectiveministries.org/gametheory/orbitalcrossalpha.html Cross in Space.]
*[http://ratoutachurch.org/ Big Brother Church Watch.]
*[http://christianexodus.org/ Christian Exodus.]
*[http://www.objectiveministries.org/kidz/ Fucktarded stuff 4 kids.]
*[http://www.christian-underground.com/ OMG CHRISTIAN UNDERGROUND!!!]

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ObjectiveMinistries - Revision history

imported>JuniusThaddeus: moved Objectiveministries to ObjectiveMinistries: Camelcase.