OUYA - Revision history

imported>4xUlt: /* Ads */

2015-09-11T03:22:35Z

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← Older revision		Revision as of 03:22, 11 September 2015
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	[[File:Ouya - Kickstarter goal.png\|thumb]]		[[File:Ouya - Kickstarter goal.png\|thumb]]
	'''The mastermind behind the Ouya'''</center><br />		'''The mastermind behind the Ouya'''</center><br />
	The '''OUYA''' is an underpowered 8th generation gaming console with the same technical specifications as a [[playstation 2\|PS2]]. It was the result of a kickstarter to create an android powered gaming console. The developers raked in a ton of cash and instead of making something good they made an absolute mess.		The '''OUYA''' is an underpowered 8th generation gaming console with the same technical specifications as a [[playstation 2\|PS2]]. It was the result of a kickstarter to create an android powered gaming console. The developers raked in a ton of cash and instead of making something good they made an absolute mess. More detailed below.

	==History==		==History==
	Julie Lehrman, created what was known as the Boxer8 in 2012~~. She made~~ a Kickstarter with the goal of a staggering $950,000 to create a shitty Android based platform. But enough retards thought this was a great idea, and they almost paid ten times ~~the~~ amount~~. For~~ a machine that ~~doesn~~'t have any games and nobody bought.		Julie Lehrman created what was known as the Boxer8 in 2012, making a Kickstarter with the goal of a staggering $950,000 to create a shitty Android-based platform. But enough retards thought this was a great idea, and they almost paid ten times this amount for a machine that didn't even have any games confirmed yet.

			Originally, the system was touted as being very mod-friendly, which attracted [[hackers\|people]] who wanted another [[Linux]] machine to add to their collection. However, being the [[jews\|executives]] that they were and expecting to make more money off of [[what\|selling free games]] than the hardware, ended up [[chasity belt\|locking up]] the OUYA to hackers. And seeing how it didn't have any games people cared about nor the openness for the more niche crowd, nobody bought it.

			==Hardware==
			It's a toaster. Actually, toaster is probably a bit of an overstatement, because mid-range computers from 2006 can outperform this. For one thing, it's basically as powerful as a lower android tablet, which begs the question why one doesn't just get an android tablet and one of those bluetooth gaming controller. It being a console, it needs a [[television]] to connect to. However, the HDMI output is DRM'd with HDCP, meaning that streaming and recording games on the Ouya is much more difficult compared to regular consoles with a capture card.

			Additionally, the controllers have been known to be extremely [[lag\|laggy]]. Some members of the Ouya Defense Force will say it's only the first wave, but it just goes to show how much of a botched product the Ouya is.

	==Games==		==Games==
	~~Unsurprising there are no good games for~~ the ~~Overpriced Useless Y2K Androidmachine~~. The ~~only games that are~~ even ~~playable are either old games or flash games~~. ~~To remedy~~ this, the OUYA team ~~have~~ started the "Free the Games Fund", meaning they give Kickstarter devs some of their excess jewgold if they make an OUYA exclusive game. This is a waste of everyone's time and money ~~because that means [[noone]] will buy it~~.<br />		The Ouya touts itself as being completely free to play in its game library. However, virtually every game on the OUYA has in-app purchases. The OUYA won't even connect to its online store unless a credit card number is put in. Again, being completely free to play. Great job. Anyways, because no one wanted to be near this slowly festering pile of garbage, the OUYA team started the "Free the Games Fund", meaning they give Kickstarter devs some of their excess jewgold if they make an OUYA-exclusive game. This ended up being a waste of everyone's time and money, and its big sellers such as Towerfall and Duck Game got ported to other platforms anyways, making this effort entirely pointless.<br />
	The most successful game on the Ouya is ~~a crap~~ game called Towerfall~~. It got~~ sold 7000 ~~times~~. ~~That is~~ less than [[Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing]] ~~sold~~. [http://wayback.archive.org/web/20130319015443/http://www.gamespot.com/gamespot/features/all/bestof2004/day3w_12.html Seriously.]'		The most successful game on the Ouya is an indieshit game called Towerfall, which sold 7000 units. To put that in perspective, that's less units than [[Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing]]. [http://wayback.archive.org/web/20130319015443/http://www.gamespot.com/gamespot/features/all/bestof2004/day3w_12.html Seriously.]'
	===[[Aids\|Ads]]===		===[[Aids\|Ads]]===
	Quickly learning that actual developers were abandoning the Ouya as fast as they could, the retards behind the Android powered toaster made a couple of butthurt ads as their outdated hardware couldn't run ~~3D graphics~~.		Quickly learning that actual developers were abandoning the Ouya as fast as they could, the retards behind the Android powered toaster made a couple of butthurt ads as their outdated hardware couldn't run regular console games.
	<center><youtube>g0ha6Mb5_YQ</youtube><br />		<center><youtube>g0ha6Mb5_YQ</youtube><br />
	'''The Ouya has extremely diverse games as detailed below'''</center>		'''The Ouya has extremely diverse games as detailed below'''</center>

	===Gallery of games===		===Gallery of games===
	~~{{cg\|Retro pixel crap\|dempixels\|center\|<gallery perrow="3">~~
	~~File:Ouya - Amazing Frog.jpg\|Pixel crap~~
	~~File:Ouya - Towerfall.png\|Pixel crap~~
	~~File:Ouya - Duck Game.jpg\|Pixel crap~~
	~~</gallery>\|<gallery perrow="3">~~
	~~File:Ouya - Organ Trail.jpg\|Pixel crap~~
	~~File:Ouya - Reagangorbachev.jpg\|Pixel crap~~
	~~</gallery>}}~~
	~~<br />~~
	{{cg\|Original games\|original\|center\|<gallery perrow="3">		{{cg\|Original games\|original\|center\|<gallery perrow="3">
	File:Ouya - Doom.jpg\|Rip-off of [[Doom]]		File:Ouya - Doom.jpg\|Rip-off of [[Doom]]
			File:Ouya - Amazing Frog.jpg\|indie pixel shit
	File:Ouya - Minecraft.jpg\|Rip-off of [[Minecraft]]		File:Ouya - Minecraft.jpg\|Rip-off of [[Minecraft]]
			File:Ouya - Reagangorbachev.jpg\|indie pixel shit
	File:Ouya - Motorbike.jpg\|Rip-off of Trials		File:Ouya - Motorbike.jpg\|Rip-off of Trials
	</gallery>\|<gallery perrow="3">		</gallery>\|<gallery perrow="3">
	</gallery>}}		</gallery>}}

			So yeah basically just indie pixel shit and rip-offs. But what did you expect?

	==How to play good games on the OUYA==		==How to play good games on the OUYA==
	Being the nice folks we are here at ED, we want to help you now that you bought yourself some ~~hipstertrash~~ and want to play some games on it. <br />		Being the nice folks we are here at ED, we want to help you now that you bought yourself some indieshit and want to play some games on it. <br />
	1 Download one of the following:<br />		1 Download one of the following:<br />
	*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/MDemu/ The Sega Master System emulator]		*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/MDemu/ The Sega Master System emulator]
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	*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/SuperGNES/ The SNES emulator]		*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/SuperGNES/ The SNES emulator]
	*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/FPse-for-OUYA/ The PSX emulator]		*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/FPse-for-OUYA/ The PSX emulator]
	2 Go somewhere like [http://~~coolrom~~.~~com/roms/~~ here] and download actual good games<br />		2 Go somewhere like [http://emuparadise.me here] and download actual good games<br />
	3 Copy them to the OUYA<br />		3 Copy them to the OUYA<br />
	4 Wonder ~~why~~ your life ~~has become this shit~~ and why you ~~just didn~~'t ~~buy the actual old console for half the price~~<br />		4 Wonder what you're doing with your life and why you aren't just playing these on a more powerful computer (which yours probably is) in an emulator with an actually good controller.<br />
	5 Throw out the OUYA<br />		5 Throw out the OUYA<br />

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	*[http://www.crowdfundinsider.com/2013/08/21761-mogotxt-threatens-legal-action-against-backer-on-gridiron-thunder-campaign-page/ the story about what was happening]		*[http://www.crowdfundinsider.com/2013/08/21761-mogotxt-threatens-legal-action-against-backer-on-gridiron-thunder-campaign-page/ the story about what was happening]
	*[http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ouya-looking-for-a-buyer-report/1100-6422073/ selling the company]		*[http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ouya-looking-for-a-buyer-report/1100-6422073/ selling the company]

			==Death==
			As of [[last thursday\|July 2015]], Ouya's atrophied shell has been sold to [[edgy\|Razer]] to use in their own shit console. And thus closes a tale of high hopes and underwhelming outcomes.

	==Gallery==		==Gallery==

imported>Cobaltcat: +reviews

2014-11-04T05:46:13Z

+reviews

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:46, 4 November 2014
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: +reviews

2014-11-04T05:46:13Z

+reviews

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:46, 4 November 2014
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: +reviews

2014-11-04T05:46:13Z

+reviews

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:46, 4 November 2014
(No difference)

imported>Cobaltcat: +reviews

2014-11-04T05:46:13Z

+reviews

New page

<center>[[File:Julie Uhrman.jpg]] 
[[File:Ouya_fail.gif|right|]]
[[File:Ouya - Kickstarter goal.png|thumb]]
'''The mastermind behind the Ouya'''</center> 
The '''OUYA''' is an underpowered 8th generation gaming console with the same technical specifications as a [[playstation 2|PS2]]. It was the result of a kickstarter to create an android powered gaming console. The developers raked in a ton of cash and instead of making something good they made an absolute mess.

==History==
Julie Lehrman, created what was known as the Boxer8 in 2012. She made a Kickstarter with the goal of a staggering $950,000 to create a shitty Android based platform. But enough retards thought this was a great idea, and they almost paid ten times the amount. For a machine that doesn't have any games and nobody bought.

==Games==
Unsurprising there are no good games for the Overpriced Useless Y2K Androidmachine. The only games that are even playable are either old games or flash games. To remedy this, the OUYA team have started the "Free the Games Fund", meaning they give Kickstarter devs some of their excess jewgold if they make an OUYA exclusive game. This is a waste of everyone's time and money because that means [[noone]] will buy it. 
The most successful game on the Ouya is a crap game called Towerfall. It got sold 7000 times. That is less than [[Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing]] sold. [http://wayback.archive.org/web/20130319015443/http://www.gamespot.com/gamespot/features/all/bestof2004/day3w_12.html Seriously.]'
===[[Aids|Ads]]===
Quickly learning that actual developers were abandoning the Ouya as fast as they could, the retards behind the Android powered toaster made a couple of butthurt ads as their outdated hardware couldn't run 3D graphics.
<center><youtube>g0ha6Mb5_YQ</youtube> 
'''The Ouya has extremely diverse games as detailed below'''</center>

===Gallery of games===
{{cg|Retro pixel crap|dempixels|center|<gallery perrow="3">
File:Ouya - Amazing Frog.jpg|Pixel crap
File:Ouya - Towerfall.png|Pixel crap
File:Ouya - Duck Game.jpg|Pixel crap
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="3">
File:Ouya - Organ Trail.jpg|Pixel crap
File:Ouya - Reagangorbachev.jpg|Pixel crap
</gallery>}}
 
{{cg|Original games|original|center|<gallery perrow="3">
File:Ouya - Doom.jpg|Rip-off of [[Doom]]
File:Ouya - Minecraft.jpg|Rip-off of [[Minecraft]]
File:Ouya - Motorbike.jpg|Rip-off of Trials
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="3">
</gallery>}}

==How to play good games on the OUYA==
Being the nice folks we are here at ED, we want to help you now that you bought yourself some hipstertrash and want to play some games on it. 
1 Download one of the following: 
*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/MDemu/ The Sega Master System emulator]
*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/GBAemu/ The Gameboy Advance emulator]
*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/NESemu/ The NES emulator]
*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/Mupen64Plus-AE-N64-Emulator/ The N64 Emulator]
*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/SuperGNES/ The SNES emulator]
*[https://www.ouya.tv/game/FPse-for-OUYA/ The PSX emulator]
2 Go somewhere like [http://coolrom.com/roms/ here] and download actual good games 
3 Copy them to the OUYA 
4 Wonder why your life has become this shit and why you just didn't buy the actual old console for half the price 
5 Throw out the OUYA 

==Reviews==
{|style="margin: 0 auto"
|{{frame|{{Videoframe|reviews|background-color:#000|font-weight:bold;

|<center><youtube>4r7auzRsHgM</youtube>
;{{colortext|white|Even niggers hate it.}}</center>

|<center><youtube>KUnZgq1lMjk</youtube>
;{{colortext|white|[[Into the trash it goes]]}}</center>

}}|border=#FE0000|background=#FE0000}}
|}

==Money laundering==
*[http://www.engadget.com/2013/02/28/ouya-kellee-santiago-interview/ head of developer relations at OUYA]
*[http://www.crowdfundinsider.com/2013/08/21761-mogotxt-threatens-legal-action-against-backer-on-gridiron-thunder-campaign-page/ the story about what was happening]
*[http://www.gamespot.com/articles/ouya-looking-for-a-buyer-report/1100-6422073/ selling the company]

==Gallery==
<center>
<gallery>
File:I should buy a Ouya.jpg|Perhaps not
File:Ouya - lemonade stand.gif|When life gives you Ouyas, kill yourself.
</gallery>
</center>
{{gaming}}
{{stub}}