Jonmon - Revision history

imported>FlynnR13 at 17:32, 27 January 2022

2022-01-27T17:32:31Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:32, 27 January 2022
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			<center>{{virgin}}</center><br>
			{{pedo}}
			{{SickFuck}}
	[[Image:Jonmon_mugshot.jpg\|left\|182px\|A Johnny Depp type? Maybe in the Elvis years.]]		[[Image:Jonmon_mugshot.jpg\|left\|182px\|A Johnny Depp type? Maybe in the Elvis years.]]
	[[Image:Jonmon-pedobear.jpg\|right\|182px\|Jonmon suits up to express his inner self.]]		[[Image:Jonmon-pedobear.jpg\|right\|182px\|Jonmon suits up to express his inner self.]]

	'''Jonmon''' ('''Jonathan Graves Monsarrat''', a.k.a. '''Johnny Monsarrat'''), known as [http://www.mit.edu/~jonmon/ jonmon] at MIT, as make_you_laugh on [[OKCupid]], and as a total idiot the world over, is the world's most sexually desperate man. At the age of 44, he chases [[16_year_old_girls\|16 year old girls]] in the hope of curing his [[virginity]].		'''Jonmon''' ('''Jonathan Graves Monsarrat''', a.k.a. '''Johnny Monsarrat'''), known as [http://www.mit.edu/~jonmon/ jonmon] at MIT, as make_you_laugh on [[OKCupid]], and like a total idiot the world over, is the world's most sexually desperate man. At the age of 44, he chases [[16_year_old_girls\|16 year old girls]] in the hope of curing his [[virginity]].

	== The Match-Up debacle ==		== The Match-Up debacle ==

	In 2003, jonmon decided to start his very own Valentine's Day dating website using his [[L33t\|l33t]] [[Bullshit\|skillz]]. The site required members divulge lots of personal information in order to use the service, and promised to match each member up with [[Over_9000\|over 9000]] potential mates. Instead, the women [http://web.archive.org/web/20090602090904/http://media.www.hlrecord.org/media/storage/paper609/news/2003/04/17/News/Dating.Service.Creator.Accused.Of.Harassing.Students-419629.shtml got matched up with jonmon and 8,999 sockpuppets].		In 2003, jonmon decided to start his very own Valentine's Day dating website using his [[L33t\|l33t]] [[Bullshit\|skillz]]. The site required members to divulge lots of personal information in order to use the service, and promised to match each member up with [[Over_9000\|over 9000]] potential mates. Instead, the women [http://web.archive.org/web/20090602090904/http://media.www.hlrecord.org/media/storage/paper609/news/2003/04/17/News/Dating.Service.Creator.Accused.Of.Harassing.Students-419629.shtml got matched up with jonmon and 8,999 sockpuppets].

	{{quote\|Hey! Let me put it this way. I'm a good judge of character. You seem fantastic. I'd like to meet you. Love that 'Up late talking and snuggling on the sofa' and 'Singing to me.' Sure, I'll play guitar & sing for you. :) I know you're busy and this whole dating thing feels like a burden. Maybe we can change all that. What have you got to lose? Being romanced by a tall, fun, handsome gentleman will be quite nice! :) Zing me a note and let's do a 'just coffee'. When? Or just email is fine if you're shy. My profile is below, and two pics are attached. :) Ciao, bella! Jon\|jonmon, providing [[Raep\|excellent matchmaking services]] to one of the female applicants at Match-Up}}		{{quote\|Hey! Let me put it this way. I'm a good judge of character. You seem fantastic. I'd like to meet you. Love that 'Up late talking and snuggling on the sofa' and 'Singing to me.' Sure, I'll play guitar & sing for you. :) I know you're busy and this whole dating thing feels like a burden. Maybe we can change all that. What have you got to lose? Being romanced by a tall, fun, handsome gentleman will be quite nice! :) Zing me a note and let's do a 'just coffee'. When? Or just email is fine if you're shy. My profile is below, and two pics are attached. :) Ciao, bella! Jon\|jonmon, providing [[Raep\|excellent matchmaking services]] to one of the female applicants at Match-Up}}
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	mitcarpediem signed off at 7:14:19 PM.		mitcarpediem signed off at 7:14:19 PM.

	His ~~followup~~ email was even better:		His follow-up email was even better:

	{{quote\|I'm laughing here because I know this game and I'm not falling a victim to it. First you feel anxious like the world is going to end. You like to call people "creepy" which is your way of saying you view the world as though it's full of freaks. Then you start to accuse the people around you. You really couldn't help yourself emailing me... (and I didn't email you) but then you accuse me of lacking restraint. Oh, the irony.<br/><br/>I know this [[The_game\|game]]. Everything in your life that's wrong is someone else's fault. If my email to you made you uncomfortable, why, it must be someone else's fault. I bet you're really good at complaining. It helps to prop up your ego that other people are worse than you and in the soap opera of your life, you are always right, and everyone else is always wrong. You are the victim.<br/><br/>I know this game. If you write me again, I'm not going to read or respond.\|jonmon, dealing well with rejection}}		{{quote\|I'm laughing here because I know this game and I'm not falling a victim to it. First you feel anxious like the world is going to end. You like to call people "creepy" which is your way of saying you view the world as though it's full of freaks. Then you start to accuse the people around you. You really couldn't help yourself emailing me... (and I didn't email you) but then you accuse me of lacking restraint. Oh, the irony.<br/><br/>I know this [[The_game\|game]]. Everything in your life that's wrong is someone else's fault. If my email to you made you uncomfortable, why, it must be someone else's fault. I bet you're really good at complaining. It helps to prop up your ego that other people are worse than you and in the soap opera of your life, you are always right, and everyone else is always wrong. You are the victim.<br/><br/>I know this game. If you write me again, I'm not going to read or respond.\|jonmon, dealing well with rejection}}
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	=== The Question Wheel ===		=== The Question Wheel ===

	* [http://wheelquestions.org The Question Wheel], in which jonmon replies your pathetic questions with immeasurably more pathetic answers. ([[:Image:Jonmon-pedowheel.jpg\|PedoJon is alive and well!]])		* [http://wheelquestions.org The Question Wheel], in which jonmon replies to your pathetic questions with immeasurably more pathetic answers. ([[:Image:Jonmon-pedowheel.jpg\|PedoJon is alive and well!]])

	=== The questionable party ===		=== The questionable party ===
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	This is a false and untrue statement damaging the Plaintiff.}}		This is a false and untrue statement damaging the Plaintiff.}}

	Apparently this article is forgettable!		Apparently, this article is forgettable!

	* [https://www.chillingeffects.org/copyright/notice.cgi?NoticeID=65198 DMCA abuse targeting ED and other sites]		* [https://www.chillingeffects.org/copyright/notice.cgi?NoticeID=65198 DMCA abuse targeting ED and other sites]

	{{Dying_Alone}}		{{Dying_Alone}}
			{{Pedoseries}}
			{{takedown}}

	[[Category:People]]		[[Category:People]]

imported>Sam: /* The questionable party */

2014-04-01T12:58:48Z

The questionable party

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:58, 1 April 2014
(No difference)

imported>Sam: /* The questionable party */

2014-04-01T12:58:48Z

The questionable party

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:58, 1 April 2014
(No difference)

imported>Sam: /* The questionable party */

2014-04-01T12:58:48Z

The questionable party

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:58, 1 April 2014
(No difference)

imported>Sam: /* The questionable party */

2014-04-01T12:58:48Z

The questionable party

New page

[[Image:Jonmon_mugshot.jpg|left|182px|A Johnny Depp type? Maybe in the Elvis years.]]
[[Image:Jonmon-pedobear.jpg|right|182px|Jonmon suits up to express his inner self.]]

'''Jonmon''' ('''Jonathan Graves Monsarrat''', a.k.a. '''Johnny Monsarrat'''), known as [http://www.mit.edu/~jonmon/ jonmon] at MIT, as make_you_laugh on [[OKCupid]], and as a total idiot the world over, is the world's most sexually desperate man. At the age of 44, he chases [[16_year_old_girls|16 year old girls]] in the hope of curing his [[virginity]].

== The Match-Up debacle ==

In 2003, jonmon decided to start his very own Valentine's Day dating website using his [[L33t|l33t]] [[Bullshit|skillz]]. The site required members divulge lots of personal information in order to use the service, and promised to match each member up with [[Over_9000|over 9000]] potential mates. Instead, the women [http://web.archive.org/web/20090602090904/http://media.www.hlrecord.org/media/storage/paper609/news/2003/04/17/News/Dating.Service.Creator.Accused.Of.Harassing.Students-419629.shtml got matched up with jonmon and 8,999 sockpuppets].

{{quote|Hey! Let me put it this way. I'm a good judge of character. You seem fantastic. I'd like to meet you. Love that 'Up late talking and snuggling on the sofa' and 'Singing to me.' Sure, I'll play guitar & sing for you. :) I know you're busy and this whole dating thing feels like a burden. Maybe we can change all that. What have you got to lose? Being romanced by a tall, fun, handsome gentleman will be quite nice! :) Zing me a note and let's do a 'just coffee'. When? Or just email is fine if you're shy. My profile is below, and two pics are attached. :) Ciao, bella! Jon|jonmon, providing [[Raep|excellent matchmaking services]] to one of the female applicants at Match-Up}}

The cops got called in, ruining all of Johnny's fun. Rumors that he was forced to put a tracking device on his [[Cock|peener]] are totally true and should be accepted without question, except that nobody makes microscopic tracking devices. [[Illuminati|Yet]].

== OKCupid: How Not To Date ==

His desperation unabated, jonmon proceeded to create a now-deleted profile on [[OKCupid|OKStupid]], named make_you_laugh. Never were truer words spoken. He put up {{hover|[http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/willowfinn/livejournal/CrazyJohnny.jpg an image of himself standing next to an electronic highway sign he defaced]|Removed - Photobucket TOS violation.}}, advertising his need for [[Loli|attention]] to the world. He then proceeded to hit on anything wet and concave.

The results in one case <s>are</s> were documented in {{hover|[http://web.archive.org/web/20070614024535/http://willowfinn.livejournal.com/58291.html a LiveJournal entry]|Sorry. This URL has been excluded from the Wayback Machine}}. Jonmon nagged his potential date, repeatedly begging her not to cancel at the last minute. She smelled desperation, especially when he made his request [[Crazy|the fourth time in a row, using the exact same words]]. She backed away. The results were full of lulz and fail:

willowfinna: Hey there
mitcarpediem: HEyeyEyeyeyEY
mitcarpediem: How's it going?
willowfinna: Um. It's goin' ok.
mitcarpediem: That's good to hear
mitcarpediem: Im doing great too, looking forward to seeing you
willowfinna: Yeah
willowfinna: About that
mitcarpediem: one sec
mitcarpediem: before you say anything you'll regret
willowfinna: Oh good lord
mitcarpediem: Are you sure you're too tired, too busy, too anxious, to see me for just one hour
willowfinna: Its not any of those things, actually
mitcarpediem: and that youd rather leave me with nothing to do on a Friday night leaving a pretty bad first impression?
willowfinna: You won't get any kind of impression
willowfinna: Your email kinda freaked me out
mitcarpediem: I'll get the impression that you cancelled on short notice, which is rude, and I probbaly won't want to reschedule
mitcarpediem: I'm just tired of the drama
willowfinna: If I cancel, there won't be an option to reschedule, that's the whole point
mitcarpediem: Frankly, so what if you're freaked out. Get a fucking grip.
mitcarpediem: I'm so tired of women with drama
willowfinna: Does that tactic work for you?
willowfinna: Get a lot of dates with that?
willowfinna: I get the feeling you get stood up a lot
willowfinna: Hence the preamble
willowfinna: Am I right?
mitcarpediem: It's like you're a little time bomb exploding whenever you feel "anxious"
mitcarpediem: So you don't have much self-confidence, that's not my fault.
willowfinna: How would you know?
mitcarpediem: Don't take it out on me.
willowfinna: You've spoken to me, maybe, four or five times
willowfinna: You know nothing about me other than what you project
willowfinna: And what little I've told you
willowfinna: I'm not trying to be rude
mitcarpediem signed off at 7:14:19 PM.

His followup email was even better:

{{quote|I'm laughing here because I know this game and I'm not falling a victim to it. First you feel anxious like the world is going to end. You like to call people "creepy" which is your way of saying you view the world as though it's full of freaks. Then you start to accuse the people around you. You really couldn't help yourself emailing me... (and I didn't email you) but then you accuse me of lacking restraint. Oh, the irony.<br/><br/>I know this [[The_game|game]]. Everything in your life that's wrong is someone else's fault. If my email to you made you uncomfortable, why, it must be someone else's fault. I bet you're really good at complaining. It helps to prop up your ego that other people are worse than you and in the soap opera of your life, you are always right, and everyone else is always wrong. You are the victim.<br/><br/>I know this game. If you write me again, I'm not going to read or respond.|jonmon, dealing well with rejection}}

== Fetish fails ==

jonmon was occasionally seen at [[Fetish|fetish]] [[Fail|fairs]], leading acne-scarred [[Loli|loli]] around on [[BDSM|leashes]] and generally acting like an [[Pedo|old-fashioned gentleman]]. He used these events to promote his [[Vampire|vampire]]-wannabe wankfest, <s>[http://www.midnightseduction.com/ Midnight Seduction]</s>, which is endorsed by women who are very female and not at all jonmon pretending to be female:

{{quote|Midnight Seduction is a creative and sexy way to meet new people in a setting you would not encounter at an average party. Some of my closest sexual partners were people I first interacted with at this game.|<del>jonmon</del>[[Sockpuppet|Berlynn]], recommending Midnight Seduction to one and all}}

Jonmon also tried to attract [[Pervert|"kink-friendly"]] roommates via a Craigslist ad. {{hover|[http://web.archive.org/web/20080918084228/http://willowfinn.livejournal.com/73769.html This effort <s>has</s> ''had'' been preserved for posterity.]|Sorry. This URL has been excluded from the Wayback Machine.}} As one commenter noted: "wait so he pretty much wants a fuckable maid?" Yes. Yes, he did.

== Cries for attention ==

=== The Question Wheel ===

* [http://wheelquestions.org The Question Wheel], in which jonmon replies your pathetic questions with immeasurably more pathetic answers. ([[:Image:Jonmon-pedowheel.jpg|PedoJon is alive and well!]])

=== The questionable party ===
* [http://www.boston.com/yourtown/news/somerville/2010/02/somerville_artist_arrested_for.html Arrested for hosting an underage drinking party]

== Suing and censoring the Internet ==

In May 2013, Jonmon [[Trolled|sued]] 101 people for allegedly saying bad things about him on LiveJournal, allegedly causing him to become allegedly fat. No, seriously! See the "Fifth Claim for Relief"! The man actually complains that the internet made him fat. The [http://www.popehat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/davis_square-lawsuit-amended-complaint.pdf full complaint] includes such choice examples of cruel things said to him as:

{{quote|"[Plaintiff] WAS PROVIDING ALL THOSE 16-YEAR-OLDS WITH SAGE ADVICE AND GUIDANCE."

This is a false and untrue statement damaging the Plaintiff.}}

Apparently, the advice was really bad. Also,

{{quote|"If you haven't read the [Encyclopedia Dramatica article], it's ... memorable"

This is a false and untrue statement damaging the Plaintiff.}}

Apparently this article is forgettable!

* [https://www.chillingeffects.org/copyright/notice.cgi?NoticeID=65198 DMCA abuse targeting ED and other sites]

{{Dying_Alone}}

[[Category:People]]