IBM - Revision history

imported>Uberfukken at 03:53, 13 March 2019

2019-03-13T03:53:40Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:53, 13 March 2019
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	{{Business}}		{{Business}}
			{{softwarez}}
	{{Timeline\|Featured article October 1, [[2005]]\|[[Latvia]]\|[[IBM]]\|[[Tinkebell]]}}		{{Timeline\|Featured article October 1, [[2005]]\|[[Latvia]]\|[[IBM]]\|[[Tinkebell]]}}

	[[category:people]]		[[category:people]]
	[[Category:Softwarez]]		[[Category:Softwarez]]

imported>AbominableIntelligence: /* Relation to Nazi Germany */domain change, replaced: dramatica.se → dramatica.rs

2017-03-24T01:55:51Z

Relation to Nazi Germany: domain change, replaced: dramatica.se → dramatica.rs

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:55, 24 March 2017
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	IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]]. IBM's own company historian Paul Lasewicz tried to hack it down to size....and failed.		IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]]. IBM's own company historian Paul Lasewicz tried to hack it down to size....and failed.

	And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.		And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.

	==Other turds==		==Other turds==

imported>Vigilant's Vagoo: needz mre

2016-06-22T23:31:26Z

needz mre

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:31, 22 June 2016
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	[[Image:ibm.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Typical '''IBM''' [[Furry\|employee]]]]		[[Image:ibm.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Typical '''IBM''' [[Furry\|employee]]]]

	In the 1920s, when [[Party Van\|J. Edgar Hoover]] was sucking the [[cocks]] of [[Commies]] in back alleys, an ugly little salesman named Tom Watson stopped playing with himself long enough to merge several companies that made boring things like punch-card tabulators (used to fuck over hourly-wage employees) and time clocks (ditto), and called it International [[Cuck\|Business]] Machines. Because he was an inbred white cornholer from upstate [[New York]] who didn't afraied of anything, this made him a hero to corporate [[America]]. He soon learned how to ass-raep those followers, by making tabulating machines that were slow, primitive, horribly [[Love\|noisy]] and unreliable, difficult to [[Cock\|use]], and hideously expensive. American businessmen are [[BDSM\|masochists]] so this scheme was incredibly successful.		In the 1920s, when [[Party Van\|J. Edgar Hoover]] was sucking the [[cocks]] of [[Commies]] in back alleys, an ugly little salesman named Tom Watson stopped playing with himself long enough to merge several companies that made boring things like punch-card tabulators (used to fuck over hourly-wage employees) and time clocks (ditto), and called it International [[Cuck\|Business]] Machines. Because he was an inbred white cornholer from upstate [[New York]] who didn't afraied of anything, this made him a hero to corporate [[America]]. He soon learned how to ass-raep those followers, by making [[Buttsecks\|tabulating machines]] that were slow, primitive, horribly [[Love\|noisy]] and unreliable, difficult to [[Cock\|use]], and hideously expensive. American businessmen are [[BDSM\|masochists]] so this scheme was incredibly successful.

	{{squote\|"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers"\|--The old fuck really said this in 1943}}		{{squote\|"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers"\|--The old fuck really said this in 1943}}

	And IBM even cornered the market before the [[computer]] existed as an idea. Despite being a "technology" company, for its first few decades IBM was dominated by its marketing division; the engineers who made their crap were stuck in an old barn in Armonk, a place so hideous even [[your mom]] won't go there. So when electronic computers started to appear in the late 1940s, Tom and his even-uglier son and their giant enemy crab marketing department were in a great position to putz and smegma any competitors. So when the "mainframe computer" became a "necessity" for large organizations in the 1950s, there was IBM, offering to lease them whatever they could be bullshitted into paying for. (IBM products were leased, never sold outright, because leases were a great way to lock companies and government agencies into becoming IBM customers for eternity. Or bankruptcy, whichever came first.)		And IBM even cornered the market before the [[computer]] existed as an idea. Despite being a "[[Cyberrape\|technology]]" company, for its first few decades IBM was dominated by its [[Buttsecks\|marketing]] division; the engineers who made their [[crap]] were stuck in an old barn in Armonk, a place so hideous even [[your mom]] won't go there. So when electronic [[computers]] started to appear in the late 1940s, Tom and his even-uglier son and their [[giant enemy crab]] marketing department were in a great position to putz and smegma any [[Buttsecks\|competitors]]. So when the "mainframe computer" became a "necessity" for large organizations in the 1950s, there was IBM, offering to [[Buttsecks\|lease]] them whatever they could be bullshitted into paying for. (IBM products were [[Ass rape\|leased]], never sold outright, because leases were a great way to lock companies and government agencies into becoming IBM [[Whore\|customers]] for eternity. Or bankruptcy, whichever came first.)
	[[Image:Hal9000.jpg\|thumb\|right\|"I first became operational at the Giant Enemy Crab plant in Urbana, Illinois."]]		[[Image:Hal9000.jpg\|thumb\|right\|"I first became operational at the Giant Enemy Crab plant in Urbana, Illinois."]]
	By the 1960s the "computer industry" ([[lol]]) was being called "IBM and the seven dwarves". Most of the dwarves have since disappeared, but IBM is still [[shit]]ting on our heads today (despite a near-bankruptcy in 1992 lol). The Watsons harassed their underpaid tech people into taking out thousands of [[cuck\|patents]] so they could crush anyone with the nuts to challenge them. At the same time, they treated their thousands of baggy-suited field salesmen like kings. Unfortunately the [[cuck\|patents]] began to run out in the 1970s so [[Blowjob\|parasites]] of the Big Parasite appeared, like Amdahl, to make "plug compatible" mainframe computers that were cheaper than the turds IBM offered. Because the Crab was so huge ~~they~~ could dictate technical standards to the rest of the world. That is why we have ludicrous bullshit terms like "DASD" and "3270" and "UCB" and "NIP" and "IODF". No one under the age of 30 knows what any of this shit means today. You get the idea.		By the 1960s the "computer industry" ([[lol]]) was being called "IBM and the seven dwarves". Most of the [[Faggot\|dwarves]] have since disappeared, but IBM is still [[shit]]ting on our heads today (despite a near-bankruptcy in 1992 lol). The Watsons harassed their underpaid tech people into taking out thousands of [[cuck\|patents]] so they could crush anyone with the [[Ball\|nuts]] to challenge them. At the same time, they treated their thousands of baggy-suited field salesmen like [[Whore\|kings]]. Unfortunately the [[cuck\|patents]] began to run out in the 1970s so [[Blowjob\|parasites]] of the Big Parasite appeared, like Amdahl, to make "plug compatible" mainframe computers that were cheaper than the [[turds]] IBM offered. Because the Crab was so huge it could dictate technical standards to the rest of the world. That is why we have ludicrous [[bullshit]] terms like "DASD" and "3270" and "UCB" and "NIP" and "IODF". No one under the age of 30 knows what any of this shit means today. You get the idea.

	In 1981 the Enemy Crab introduced the [[CP\|PC]], even though it was originally invented by [[Alan Turing]]. They crapped out this digital turd because they wanted people to '''lease''' (never buy!) their expensive-as-fuck mainframes, so they created a small computer that sucked so much that no one would buy it. But people did buy it, so IBM had a [[lollercaust]] and decided to become a personal [[computer]] company. However, by the time IBM realized that [[Redneck\|people]] liked their computers, the same people stopped buying them in favor of stuff that worked like the PC. Which almost killed off the Hellchild of Watson in 1992, as businessmorons learned they could run major financial and other applications on cheap PCs, rather than be forced to give millions of dollars to the Big BM.		In 1981 the Enemy Crab introduced the [[CP\|PC]], even though it was originally invented by [[Alan Turing]]. They crapped out this digital turd because they wanted people to '''lease''' (never buy!) their expensive-as-fuck mainframes, so they created a small computer that sucked so much that no one would buy it. But people did buy it, so IBM had a [[lollercaust]] and decided to become a personal [[computer]] company. However, by the time IBM realized that [[Redneck\|people]] liked their computers, the same people stopped buying them in favor of stuff that worked like the PC. Which almost killed off the Hellchild of Watson in 1992, as businessmorons learned they could run major financial and other applications on cheap PCs, rather than be forced to give millions of dollars to the Big BM.

	IBM also makes incredibly shit software (OS/MVS lol, OS/2 lol, JCL lol) and wants to run your business and raep your children. Their mainframe operating systems were famous for being badly designed and difficult to use. IBM is big, blue, and hairy. To elderly computer b00bs, IBM may be confused with [[Pentium\|Intel]]. They are still making [[Black cock\|mainframes]] called "Z series", which are just as big and expensive and badly designed as any of the predecessors. One of their favorite tricks: make the cabinet far too big and put a massive steel weight in the bottom so it impresses the [[idiot]] customers with its heavy [[Black cock\|black massiveness]].		IBM also makes incredibly shit software (OS/MVS lol, OS/2 lol, JCL lol) and wants to run your business and raep your children. Their mainframe [[castration\|operating systems]] were famous for being badly designed and difficult to use. IBM is big, blue, and [[nutsack\|hairy]]. To elderly computer b00bs, IBM may be confused with [[Pentium\|Intel]]. They are still making [[Black cock\|mainframes]] called "Z series", which are just as big and expensive and badly designed as any of the predecessors. One of their favorite tricks: make the cabinet far too big and put a massive [[Lie\|steel weight]] in the bottom so it impresses the [[idiot]] customers with its heavy [[Black cock\|black massiveness]].

	IBM is also known for StinkPad and ClitMouse (The Red Dot) on their ugly black notebook computer (''don't call it a laptop!''). They put out the WankPad notebook series in the early 1990s and billions were bought by fuckheaded businessmen and government asswipes. Twinkpads are resistant to various external factors like bathing with them, peeing on them, ejaculating on the screen, farting inside the fan holes, drilling, and [[Ragequit\|being thrown at a wall]] (a typical action applied to [[Windows\|crappy computers]]). Otherwise they are shite. Since 2005 StinkPads have been made and sold by a [[China\|Chinese]] company because the profit margins aren't massive enough.		IBM is also known for StinkPad and ClitMouse (The Red Dot) on their ugly black notebook computer (''don't call it a laptop!''). They put out the WankPad notebook series in the early 1990s and billions were bought by fuckheaded businessmen and government asswipes. Twinkpads are resistant to various external factors like bathing with them, peeing on them, ejaculating on the screen, farting inside the fan holes, drilling, and [[Ragequit\|being thrown at a wall]] (a typical action applied to [[Windows\|crappy computers]]). Otherwise they are shite. Since 2005 StinkPads have been made and sold by a [[China\|Chinese]] company because the profit margins aren't massive enough.

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr) at 05:11, 12 June 2016

2016-06-12T05:11:51Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:11, 12 June 2016
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	In the 1920s, when [[Party Van\|J. Edgar Hoover]] was sucking the [[cocks]] of [[Commies]] in back alleys, an ugly little salesman named Tom Watson stopped playing with himself long enough to merge several companies that made boring things like punch-card tabulators (used to fuck over hourly-wage employees) and time clocks (ditto), and called it International [[Cuck\|Business]] Machines. Because he was an inbred white cornholer from upstate [[New York]] who didn't afraied of anything, this made him a hero to corporate [[America]]. He soon learned how to ass-raep those followers, by making tabulating machines that were slow, primitive, horribly [[Love\|noisy]] and unreliable, difficult to [[Cock\|use]], and hideously expensive. American businessmen are [[BDSM\|masochists]] so this scheme was incredibly successful.		In the 1920s, when [[Party Van\|J. Edgar Hoover]] was sucking the [[cocks]] of [[Commies]] in back alleys, an ugly little salesman named Tom Watson stopped playing with himself long enough to merge several companies that made boring things like punch-card tabulators (used to fuck over hourly-wage employees) and time clocks (ditto), and called it International [[Cuck\|Business]] Machines. Because he was an inbred white cornholer from upstate [[New York]] who didn't afraied of anything, this made him a hero to corporate [[America]]. He soon learned how to ass-raep those followers, by making tabulating machines that were slow, primitive, horribly [[Love\|noisy]] and unreliable, difficult to [[Cock\|use]], and hideously expensive. American businessmen are [[BDSM\|masochists]] so this scheme was incredibly successful.

			{{squote\|"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers"\|--The old fuck really said this in 1943}}

	And IBM even cornered the market before the [[computer]] existed as an idea. Despite being a "technology" company, for its first few decades IBM was dominated by its marketing division; the engineers who made their crap were stuck in an old barn in Armonk, a place so hideous even [[your mom]] won't go there. So when electronic computers started to appear in the late 1940s, Tom and his even-uglier son and their giant enemy crab marketing department were in a great position to putz and smegma any competitors. So when the "mainframe computer" became a "necessity" for large organizations in the 1950s, there was IBM, offering to lease them whatever they could be bullshitted into paying for. (IBM products were leased, never sold outright, because leases were a great way to lock companies and government agencies into becoming IBM customers for eternity. Or bankruptcy, whichever came first.)		And IBM even cornered the market before the [[computer]] existed as an idea. Despite being a "technology" company, for its first few decades IBM was dominated by its marketing division; the engineers who made their crap were stuck in an old barn in Armonk, a place so hideous even [[your mom]] won't go there. So when electronic computers started to appear in the late 1940s, Tom and his even-uglier son and their giant enemy crab marketing department were in a great position to putz and smegma any competitors. So when the "mainframe computer" became a "necessity" for large organizations in the 1950s, there was IBM, offering to lease them whatever they could be bullshitted into paying for. (IBM products were leased, never sold outright, because leases were a great way to lock companies and government agencies into becoming IBM customers for eternity. Or bankruptcy, whichever came first.)

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr): /* History lol */

2016-06-05T05:56:45Z

History lol

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:56, 5 June 2016
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	IBM also makes incredibly shit software (OS/MVS lol, OS/2 lol, JCL lol) and wants to run your business and raep your children. Their mainframe operating systems were famous for being badly designed and difficult to use. IBM is big, blue, and hairy. To elderly computer b00bs, IBM may be confused with [[Pentium\|Intel]]. They are still making [[Black cock\|mainframes]] called "Z series", which are just as big and expensive and badly designed as any of the predecessors. One of their favorite tricks: make the cabinet far too big and put a massive steel weight in the bottom so it impresses the [[idiot]] customers with its heavy [[Black cock\|black massiveness]].		IBM also makes incredibly shit software (OS/MVS lol, OS/2 lol, JCL lol) and wants to run your business and raep your children. Their mainframe operating systems were famous for being badly designed and difficult to use. IBM is big, blue, and hairy. To elderly computer b00bs, IBM may be confused with [[Pentium\|Intel]]. They are still making [[Black cock\|mainframes]] called "Z series", which are just as big and expensive and badly designed as any of the predecessors. One of their favorite tricks: make the cabinet far too big and put a massive steel weight in the bottom so it impresses the [[idiot]] customers with its heavy [[Black cock\|black massiveness]].

	IBM is also known for StinkPad and ClitMouse (The Red Dot) on their ugly black notebook computer (''don't call it a laptop!''). They put out the WankPad notebook series in the early 1990s and billions were bought by fuckheaded businessmen and government asswipes. Twinkpads are resistant to various external factors like bathing with them, peeing on them, ejaculating on the screen, farting inside the fan holes, drilling, and [[Ragequit\|being thrown at a wall]] (a typical action applied to [[Windows\|crappy computers]]). Otherwise they are shite. Since 2005 StinkPads have been made and sold by a [[China\|Chinese]] company because the profit margins aren't massive enough.		IBM is also known for StinkPad and ClitMouse (The Red Dot) on their ugly black notebook computer (''don't call it a laptop!''). They put out the WankPad notebook series in the early 1990s and billions were bought by fuckheaded businessmen and government asswipes. Twinkpads are resistant to various external factors like bathing with them, peeing on them, ejaculating on the screen, farting inside the fan holes, drilling, and [[Ragequit\|being thrown at a wall]] (a typical action applied to [[Windows\|crappy computers]]). Otherwise they are shite. Since 2005 StinkPads have been made and sold by a [[China\|Chinese]] company because the profit margins aren't massive enough.
			{{quote\|IBM accounted for about 1% of all US patents awarded in 2015.\|[http://qz.com/698056/ibm-has-been-awarded-an-average-of-24-patents-per-day-so-far-in-2016/ lol and theyre still taking out useless patents]}}

	==Relation to Microsoft==		==Relation to Microsoft==

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr): /* Relation to Nazi Germany */

2016-03-29T02:35:25Z

Relation to Nazi Germany

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:35, 29 March 2016
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	==Relation to Nazi Germany==		==Relation to Nazi Germany==

	IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]].		IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]]. IBM's own company historian Paul Lasewicz tried to hack it down to size....and failed.

	And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.		And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr): /* Relation to Nazi Germany */

2016-03-29T02:33:03Z

Relation to Nazi Germany

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:33, 29 March 2016
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	IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]].		IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]].

	And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator ~~and arbitrator~~ [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.		And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.

	==Other turds==		==Other turds==

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr): /* Relation to Nazi Germany */

2016-03-29T02:29:31Z

Relation to Nazi Germany

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:29, 29 March 2016
Line 32:		Line 32:
	==Relation to Nazi Germany==		==Relation to Nazi Germany==

	IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a retarded editwar on [[TOW]].		IBM made the computers that counted up dead [[Homosexual\|heebs and homos]], restocked [[Zyklon B\|yummy snacks]] online, and switched the perimeter security lighting (and [[Hitler\|Hitler's]] night light) on and off every evening and morning according to the [[wicca\|solar calendar]]. There's a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust book] about it, which was the subject of a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:IBM_and_the_Holocaust/Archive_1 retarded editwar] on [[TOW]].

	And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator and arbitrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.		And speaking of Nazis, TOW administrator and arbitrator [https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Fluffernutter#Ironholds_x_Fluffernutter_etc Karen "Fluffernutter" Ingraffea] was an IBM employee on their WATSON AI project (see photo above) while she was fighting her way to the top of the sick little Wikiworld. WATSON's database used Wikipedia articles as text samples to develop its "intelligence". Lol. Karen is now [https://wikimediafoundation.org/wiki/User:Kbrown_%28WMF%29 an employee of the Wikimedia Foundation]. The Peter Principle at work.

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr): /* Other turds */

2016-03-29T02:20:35Z

Other turds

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:20, 29 March 2016
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	*[http://secure.marketwatch.com/story/ibm-mainframe-techs-dinosaur-turns-50-2014-04-11 50 years of horseshit and JCL]		*[http://secure.marketwatch.com/story/ibm-mainframe-techs-dinosaur-turns-50-2014-04-11 50 years of horseshit and JCL]
	*[http://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/IBM-Reviews-E354.htm Glassdoor employee reviews]		*[http://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/IBM-Reviews-E354.htm Glassdoor employee reviews]
			*Did you know that IBM had 100,000 employees in India and [http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-02-12/slaughter-house-first-person-accounts-how-ibm-just-fired-thousands-workers-across-in fired a bunch of them in 2014]? Neither did I.

	{{Business}}		{{Business}}

imported>Lavrentiy Beria (Jr): /* Other turds */

2016-03-29T02:16:59Z

Other turds

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:16, 29 March 2016
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	==Other turds==		==Other turds==
	*[~~https~~://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45X4VP8CGtk Teenaged boy buys useless IBM mainframe for $240 and worships it in his basement]		*[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45X4VP8CGtk Teenaged boy buys useless IBM mainframe for $240 and worships it in his basement]
	*[~~https~~://secure.marketwatch.com/story/ibm-mainframe-techs-dinosaur-turns-50-2014-04-11 50 years of horseshit and JCL]		*[http://secure.marketwatch.com/story/ibm-mainframe-techs-dinosaur-turns-50-2014-04-11 50 years of horseshit and JCL]
			*[http://www.glassdoor.com/Reviews/IBM-Reviews-E354.htm Glassdoor employee reviews]

	{{Business}}		{{Business}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:31, 22 June 2016
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	[[Image:ibm.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Typical '''IBM''' [[Furry\|employee]]]]		[[Image:ibm.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Typical '''IBM''' [[Furry\|employee]]]]

	In the 1920s, when [[Party Van\|J. Edgar Hoover]] was sucking the [[cocks]] of [[Commies]] in back alleys, an ugly little salesman named Tom Watson stopped playing with himself long enough to merge several companies that made boring things like punch-card tabulators (used to fuck over hourly-wage employees) and time clocks (ditto), and called it International [[Cuck\|Business]] Machines. Because he was an inbred white cornholer from upstate [[New York]] who didn't afraied of anything, this made him a hero to corporate [[America]]. He soon learned how to ass-raep those followers, by making tabulating machines that were slow, primitive, horribly [[Love\|noisy]] and unreliable, difficult to [[Cock\|use]], and hideously expensive. American businessmen are [[BDSM\|masochists]] so this scheme was incredibly successful.		In the 1920s, when [[Party Van\|J. Edgar Hoover]] was sucking the [[cocks]] of [[Commies]] in back alleys, an ugly little salesman named Tom Watson stopped playing with himself long enough to merge several companies that made boring things like punch-card tabulators (used to fuck over hourly-wage employees) and time clocks (ditto), and called it International [[Cuck\|Business]] Machines. Because he was an inbred white cornholer from upstate [[New York]] who didn't afraied of anything, this made him a hero to corporate [[America]]. He soon learned how to ass-raep those followers, by making [[Buttsecks\|tabulating machines]] that were slow, primitive, horribly [[Love\|noisy]] and unreliable, difficult to [[Cock\|use]], and hideously expensive. American businessmen are [[BDSM\|masochists]] so this scheme was incredibly successful.

	{{squote\|"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers"\|--The old fuck really said this in 1943}}		{{squote\|"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers"\|--The old fuck really said this in 1943}}

	And IBM even cornered the market before the [[computer]] existed as an idea. Despite being a "technology" company, for its first few decades IBM was dominated by its marketing division; the engineers who made their crap were stuck in an old barn in Armonk, a place so hideous even [[your mom]] won't go there. So when electronic computers started to appear in the late 1940s, Tom and his even-uglier son and their giant enemy crab marketing department were in a great position to putz and smegma any competitors. So when the "mainframe computer" became a "necessity" for large organizations in the 1950s, there was IBM, offering to lease them whatever they could be bullshitted into paying for. (IBM products were leased, never sold outright, because leases were a great way to lock companies and government agencies into becoming IBM customers for eternity. Or bankruptcy, whichever came first.)		And IBM even cornered the market before the [[computer]] existed as an idea. Despite being a "[[Cyberrape\|technology]]" company, for its first few decades IBM was dominated by its [[Buttsecks\|marketing]] division; the engineers who made their [[crap]] were stuck in an old barn in Armonk, a place so hideous even [[your mom]] won't go there. So when electronic [[computers]] started to appear in the late 1940s, Tom and his even-uglier son and their [[giant enemy crab]] marketing department were in a great position to putz and smegma any [[Buttsecks\|competitors]]. So when the "mainframe computer" became a "necessity" for large organizations in the 1950s, there was IBM, offering to [[Buttsecks\|lease]] them whatever they could be bullshitted into paying for. (IBM products were [[Ass rape\|leased]], never sold outright, because leases were a great way to lock companies and government agencies into becoming IBM [[Whore\|customers]] for eternity. Or bankruptcy, whichever came first.)
	[[Image:Hal9000.jpg\|thumb\|right\|"I first became operational at the Giant Enemy Crab plant in Urbana, Illinois."]]		[[Image:Hal9000.jpg\|thumb\|right\|"I first became operational at the Giant Enemy Crab plant in Urbana, Illinois."]]
	By the 1960s the "computer industry" ([[lol]]) was being called "IBM and the seven dwarves". Most of the dwarves have since disappeared, but IBM is still [[shit]]ting on our heads today (despite a near-bankruptcy in 1992 lol). The Watsons harassed their underpaid tech people into taking out thousands of [[cuck\|patents]] so they could crush anyone with the nuts to challenge them. At the same time, they treated their thousands of baggy-suited field salesmen like kings. Unfortunately the [[cuck\|patents]] began to run out in the 1970s so [[Blowjob\|parasites]] of the Big Parasite appeared, like Amdahl, to make "plug compatible" mainframe computers that were cheaper than the turds IBM offered. Because the Crab was so huge ~~they~~ could dictate technical standards to the rest of the world. That is why we have ludicrous bullshit terms like "DASD" and "3270" and "UCB" and "NIP" and "IODF". No one under the age of 30 knows what any of this shit means today. You get the idea.		By the 1960s the "computer industry" ([[lol]]) was being called "IBM and the seven dwarves". Most of the [[Faggot\|dwarves]] have since disappeared, but IBM is still [[shit]]ting on our heads today (despite a near-bankruptcy in 1992 lol). The Watsons harassed their underpaid tech people into taking out thousands of [[cuck\|patents]] so they could crush anyone with the [[Ball\|nuts]] to challenge them. At the same time, they treated their thousands of baggy-suited field salesmen like [[Whore\|kings]]. Unfortunately the [[cuck\|patents]] began to run out in the 1970s so [[Blowjob\|parasites]] of the Big Parasite appeared, like Amdahl, to make "plug compatible" mainframe computers that were cheaper than the [[turds]] IBM offered. Because the Crab was so huge it could dictate technical standards to the rest of the world. That is why we have ludicrous [[bullshit]] terms like "DASD" and "3270" and "UCB" and "NIP" and "IODF". No one under the age of 30 knows what any of this shit means today. You get the idea.

	In 1981 the Enemy Crab introduced the [[CP\|PC]], even though it was originally invented by [[Alan Turing]]. They crapped out this digital turd because they wanted people to '''lease''' (never buy!) their expensive-as-fuck mainframes, so they created a small computer that sucked so much that no one would buy it. But people did buy it, so IBM had a [[lollercaust]] and decided to become a personal [[computer]] company. However, by the time IBM realized that [[Redneck\|people]] liked their computers, the same people stopped buying them in favor of stuff that worked like the PC. Which almost killed off the Hellchild of Watson in 1992, as businessmorons learned they could run major financial and other applications on cheap PCs, rather than be forced to give millions of dollars to the Big BM.		In 1981 the Enemy Crab introduced the [[CP\|PC]], even though it was originally invented by [[Alan Turing]]. They crapped out this digital turd because they wanted people to '''lease''' (never buy!) their expensive-as-fuck mainframes, so they created a small computer that sucked so much that no one would buy it. But people did buy it, so IBM had a [[lollercaust]] and decided to become a personal [[computer]] company. However, by the time IBM realized that [[Redneck\|people]] liked their computers, the same people stopped buying them in favor of stuff that worked like the PC. Which almost killed off the Hellchild of Watson in 1992, as businessmorons learned they could run major financial and other applications on cheap PCs, rather than be forced to give millions of dollars to the Big BM.

	IBM also makes incredibly shit software (OS/MVS lol, OS/2 lol, JCL lol) and wants to run your business and raep your children. Their mainframe operating systems were famous for being badly designed and difficult to use. IBM is big, blue, and hairy. To elderly computer b00bs, IBM may be confused with [[Pentium\|Intel]]. They are still making [[Black cock\|mainframes]] called "Z series", which are just as big and expensive and badly designed as any of the predecessors. One of their favorite tricks: make the cabinet far too big and put a massive steel weight in the bottom so it impresses the [[idiot]] customers with its heavy [[Black cock\|black massiveness]].		IBM also makes incredibly shit software (OS/MVS lol, OS/2 lol, JCL lol) and wants to run your business and raep your children. Their mainframe [[castration\|operating systems]] were famous for being badly designed and difficult to use. IBM is big, blue, and [[nutsack\|hairy]]. To elderly computer b00bs, IBM may be confused with [[Pentium\|Intel]]. They are still making [[Black cock\|mainframes]] called "Z series", which are just as big and expensive and badly designed as any of the predecessors. One of their favorite tricks: make the cabinet far too big and put a massive [[Lie\|steel weight]] in the bottom so it impresses the [[idiot]] customers with its heavy [[Black cock\|black massiveness]].

	IBM is also known for StinkPad and ClitMouse (The Red Dot) on their ugly black notebook computer (''don't call it a laptop!''). They put out the WankPad notebook series in the early 1990s and billions were bought by fuckheaded businessmen and government asswipes. Twinkpads are resistant to various external factors like bathing with them, peeing on them, ejaculating on the screen, farting inside the fan holes, drilling, and [[Ragequit\|being thrown at a wall]] (a typical action applied to [[Windows\|crappy computers]]). Otherwise they are shite. Since 2005 StinkPads have been made and sold by a [[China\|Chinese]] company because the profit margins aren't massive enough.		IBM is also known for StinkPad and ClitMouse (The Red Dot) on their ugly black notebook computer (''don't call it a laptop!''). They put out the WankPad notebook series in the early 1990s and billions were bought by fuckheaded businessmen and government asswipes. Twinkpads are resistant to various external factors like bathing with them, peeing on them, ejaculating on the screen, farting inside the fan holes, drilling, and [[Ragequit\|being thrown at a wall]] (a typical action applied to [[Windows\|crappy computers]]). Otherwise they are shite. Since 2005 StinkPads have been made and sold by a [[China\|Chinese]] company because the profit margins aren't massive enough.