House of the Dead - Revision history

imported>Tehbuttsecks: /* Bosses */

2014-08-21T05:14:19Z

Bosses

← Older revision	Revision as of 05:14, 21 August 2014
(No difference)

imported>Tehbuttsecks: /* Bosses */

2014-08-21T05:14:19Z

Bosses

← Older revision	Revision as of 05:14, 21 August 2014
(No difference)

imported>Tehbuttsecks: /* Bosses */

2014-08-21T05:14:19Z

Bosses

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:14, 21 August 2014
(No difference)

imported>Tehbuttsecks: /* Bosses */

2014-08-21T05:14:19Z

Bosses

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:14, 21 August 2014
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	'''The Magician''': Dr. Curien's "[[masturbation\|Masterpiece]]" and the most overused boss in the series. In the first game, kids thought this guy was tough shit as his weakness was unknown ([[Captain Obvious\|clearly unaware of his pulsating leg and shoulder]]), but by the time he reappeared in the second game, he was a total [[pussy]].		'''The Magician''': Dr. Curien's "[[masturbation\|Masterpiece]]" and the most overused boss in the series. In the first game, kids thought this guy was tough shit as his weakness was unknown ([[Captain Obvious\|clearly unaware of his pulsating leg and shoulder]]), but by the time he reappeared in the second game, he was a total [[pussy]].

	'''The Judgement''': A [[Islam\|headless knight]] carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason [[Brogrammer\|~~killing~~ the skeleton ~~kills~~ him]].		'''The Judgement''': A [[Islam\|headless knight]] carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason [[Brogrammer\|shooting the skeleton hurts him]].

	'''The Heirophant''': Some fish dude who looks like a rejected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle villain. Has the power to summon annoying ass fish and jump in the air like a retard.		'''The Heirophant''': Some fish dude who looks like a rejected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle villain. Has the power to summon annoying ass fish and jump in the air like a retard.


	'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].		'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Whenever you kill one, it moos like a [[lolcow\|cow]]. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].

	'''Strength''': Leatherface rip-off who makes the same retarded grunts and screams. Only difference is he is 10 feet tall and can run faster than a pedophile chasing a kid in a speedo.		'''Strength''': Leatherface rip-off who makes the same retarded grunts and screams. Only difference is he is 10 feet tall and can run faster than a pedophile chasing a kid in a speedo.
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	'''The World''': [[Deviantart\|Butterfly-man that can make pretty flying ice dragons]]. In case you're oblivious to exposed hearts, its weak-point is really [[retard\|easy to guess]]. James and Kate whipped out some Uzi's to shoot it down , but it wasn't until James decided to end everything by blowing himself up with an explosive GBA SP that the thing was defeated. It's not like he could've just thrown the bomb or anything.		'''The World''': [[Deviantart\|Butterfly-man that can make pretty flying ice dragons]]. In case you're oblivious to exposed hearts, its weak-point is really [[retard\|easy to guess]]. James and Kate whipped out some Uzi's to shoot it down , but it wasn't until James decided to end everything by blowing himself up with an explosive GBA SP that the thing was defeated. It's not like he could've just thrown the bomb or anything.

	'''~~Death~~''': A ~~giant Nazi with a club and~~ [[~~stupid\|not the Grim Reaper~~]].		'''Temperance''': A fat [[American]].

	'''~~Temperance~~''': A ~~fat~~ [[~~American~~]].		'''Death''': A giant Nazi that attacks with a club and [[stupid\|is not the Grim Reaper]].

	'''The Sun''': A sunflower that chokes itself when you hurt it.		'''The Sun''': A sunflower that chokes itself when you hurt it.

imported>Tehbuttsecks: /* Characters */

2014-08-19T04:31:50Z

Characters

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:31, 19 August 2014
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	===Playable characters===		===Playable characters===
	[[Image:GaryHOTD4.jpg\|right\|thumb\|FREEZE MOTHAFUCKA!!!!! We're here, we're queer, GET USED TO IT!]]		[[Image:GaryHOTD4.jpg\|right\|thumb\|FREEZE MOTHAFUCKA!!!!! We're here, we're queer, GET USED TO IT!]]
	'''[[Gay\|Gary ~~and James~~]]''': The protagonists of the ~~first~~ game. They carry magical guns that have infinite ammo but require to be [[fail\|reloaded every fucking second]].		'''[[Gay\|James and Gary ]]''': The protagonists of the second game. They carry magical guns that have infinite ammo but require to be [[fail\|reloaded every fucking second]].

	'''Thomas''': The one with the goatee. By 2019 he had gone missing, leading "[[homosexual\|H]]" and his daughter Lisa to search for him since he hadn't texted them for about 3 days.		'''Thomas''': The one with the goatee. By 2019 he had gone missing, leading "[[homosexual\|H]]" and his daughter Lisa to search for him since he hadn't texted them for about 3 days.

	'''G''': The most recurring ~~character~~ character in the series, even though nobody can tell the characters apart as [[Chinks\|they all look the same]].		'''G''': The most recurring character in the series, even though nobody can tell the characters apart as [[Chinks\|they all look the same]].

	'''Lisa''': [[Slut\|Rebellious daughter]] of Row-gun and a failed idea of a cover-girl for the franchise.		'''Lisa''': [[Slut\|Rebellious daughter]] of Row-gun and a failed idea of a cover-girl for the franchise.
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	'''The Judgement''': A [[Islam\|headless knight]] carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason [[Brogrammer\|killing the skeleton kills him]].		'''The Judgement''': A [[Islam\|headless knight]] carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason [[Brogrammer\|killing the skeleton kills him]].

			'''The Heirophant''': Some fish dude who looks like a rejected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle villain. Has the power to summon annoying ass fish and jump in the air like a retard.


	'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].		'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].

	'''The Emperor''': Apparently the shape-shifting bad guy from Terminator 2 is considered a zombie. Imagine The Magician but without the ability to fly and very, very slow. Was shot up by James and Gary, leading to Goldman's emo-like end.		'''Strength''': Leatherface rip-off who makes the same retarded grunts and screams. Only difference is he is 10 feet tall and can run faster than a pedophile chasing a kid in a speedo.

			'''The Emperor''': Apparently the shape-shifting bad guy from Terminator 2 is considered a zombie. Imagine The Magician but without the ability to fly, looking like a blowup doll, and very, very slow. Was shot up by James and Gary, leading to Goldman's emo-like end.

	'''The World''': [[Deviantart\|Butterfly-man that can make pretty flying ice dragons]]. In case you're oblivious to exposed hearts, its weak-point is really [[retard\|easy to guess]]. James and Kate whipped out some Uzi's to shoot it down , but it wasn't until James decided to end everything by blowing himself up with an explosive GBA SP that the thing was defeated. It's not like he could've just thrown the bomb or anything.		'''The World''': [[Deviantart\|Butterfly-man that can make pretty flying ice dragons]]. In case you're oblivious to exposed hearts, its weak-point is really [[retard\|easy to guess]]. James and Kate whipped out some Uzi's to shoot it down , but it wasn't until James decided to end everything by blowing himself up with an explosive GBA SP that the thing was defeated. It's not like he could've just thrown the bomb or anything.

			'''Death''': A giant Nazi with a club and [[stupid\|not the Grim Reaper]].

	'''Temperance''': A fat [[American]].		'''Temperance''': A fat [[American]].

imported>Tehbuttsecks: /* Villains */

2014-08-19T04:09:36Z

Villains

← Older revision		Revision as of 04:09, 19 August 2014
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	'''Curien''': The [[batshit insane\|mad]] scientist that created legions of zombies because zombie series always need a bad guy that [[truth\|creates the zombies for no reaso]]n. Killed in the first game and comes back to life as a [[lolwut\|wedding ring in the third one]].		'''Curien''': The [[batshit insane\|mad]] scientist that created legions of zombies because zombie series always need a bad guy that [[truth\|creates the zombies for no reaso]]n. Killed in the first game and comes back to life as a [[lolwut\|wedding ring in the third one]].

	'''Goldman''': [[~~faggot\|Tree-hugger~~]] ~~that~~ believed that infesting Europe with zombies would protect the life cycle. [[An hero\|Kills himself]].		'''Goldman''': [[Jew]] who believed that infesting Europe with zombies would protect the life cycle. [[An hero\|Kills himself]]. He has the [[Sarcasm\|best voice-actor in the history of everything]], with the exception of [[Stephen Hawking]].

	===Bosses===		===Bosses===

imported>Raffingoutroud at 00:27, 19 March 2013

2013-03-19T00:27:55Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:27, 19 March 2013
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	Image:UweBoll.jpg\|Only thing worse than playing the game, watching the movie [[Uwe Boll\|this asshole]] made.		Image:UweBoll.jpg\|Only thing worse than playing the game, watching the movie [[Uwe Boll\|this asshole]] made.
	</gallery>}}		</gallery>}}

			==See Also==
			*[[SEGA]]
			*[[Video Games]]
			*[[Zombies]]
			*[[NRA]]
			*[[Batshit Insane]]
			*[[The Walking Dead]]
			*[[Uwe Boll]]

	==External Links==		==External Links==

imported>Raffingoutroud: Added more to the gallery. Added some external links.

2013-03-19T00:22:18Z

Added more to the gallery. Added some external links.

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:22, 19 March 2013
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	*And finally, a First AID kit with cyanide, so you can kill yourself for playing this game for so long.		*And finally, a First AID kit with cyanide, so you can kill yourself for playing this game for so long.

	==Gallery==		==Gallery of the Dead==
	<center><gallery>		{{cg\|\|Gallery\|center\|<gallery perrow="4">
	~~File~~:The House of the Dead.gif		Image:The House of the Dead.gif\|What you did playing this game
	~~File~~:House of the Dead comic.jpg		Image:House of the Dead comic.jpg\|Comics?
	~~File~~:House of the Dead Stamp by KooboriSapphire.gif		Image:House of the Dead Stamp by KooboriSapphire.gif\|[[Truth]]
	</gallery></~~center~~>		Image:ZombieHospital.jpg\|There's even cosplay of it...
			</gallery>\|<gallery perrow="4">
			Image:VikingZombie.jpg\|Dethklok is in this game...
			Image:HelloNurse.jpg\|This game kills your nurse fantasies quickly...
			Image:HeadDONOTWANT.jpg\|You may have wanted a [[fellatio\|girl with a wide mouth]]...
			Image:HospitaloftheDead.jpg\|Get used to it, [[Anonymous\|they outnumber you]].
			Image:UweBoll.jpg\|Only thing worse than playing the game, watching the movie [[Uwe Boll\|this asshole]] made.
			</gallery>}}

			==External Links==

			*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317676/ The AIDS filled movie] - Watch at your own risk
			*[http://www.sega.com/hodoverkill/ House of the Dead: Overkill] - The only appropriate title for it all.
			*[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0277737/ The IMDb of the Game] - The shitty game is rated higher than the shitty movie.

	{{gaming}}		{{gaming}}

imported>Raffingoutroud: Added in some jokes via piping. Added a new section. Added a picture to the intro section.

2013-03-18T22:13:21Z

Added in some jokes via piping. Added a new section. Added a picture to the intro section.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:13, 18 March 2013
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	'''The House of the Dead''' is a series of rail shooter games. The story revolves around a zombie virus that only seems to spread more despite the protagonists' efforts. Like anything zombie-related, the closest this series has to a plot is shooting the same shirtless zombie 300 times while having RELOAD! shouted at you.		[[Image:HouseoftheFat.jpg\|right\|thumb\|Fat is the 5th thing wrong with these guys.]]
			'''The House of the Dead''' is a series of rail shooter games created by [[SEGA]], in between fapping sessions with their millions of shitty [[Sonic]] games. The story revolves around a zombie virus that only seems to spread more despite the protagonists' efforts. Like anything zombie-related, the closest this series has to a plot is shooting the same shirtless zombie 300 times while having RELOAD! shouted at you. This could be seen as an instant [[NRA]] training session, in case the [[The Walking Dead\|Zombies decide to walk the Earth]]. But if you ask [[Jack Thompson\|some lawyer]], all of these games are bad for you and can cause violent impulses.

			==The Bullshit Story==

			The same story is used throughout all of the games. So, don't worry if you don't have the jist of it. It's all the fucking same! The hero/heroine has received a phone call from their [[Imaginary girlfriend\|missing fiancee]] asking them to come to a random spooky location. Which results in meeting in an epic battle with the villain who's [[batshit insane\|obsessed with life and death itself]]. After venturing throughout your city/mansion/whorehouse of choice in any of the games, you end up in epic boss battles with the same rehashed bosses that SEGA had to use. The main reason for this, they were usually too busy [[Shit no one cares about\|making a Sonic game that nobody would buy]]. And let's not forget, every game has a [[bullshit\|cliffhanger]] ending that leaves you wanting [[more]].

	==Characters==		==Characters==
	===Playable characters===		===Playable characters===
	[[Image:GaryHOTD4.jpg\|right\|thumb\|FREEZE MOTHAFUCKA!!!!! We're here, we're queer, GET USED TO IT!]]		[[Image:GaryHOTD4.jpg\|right\|thumb\|FREEZE MOTHAFUCKA!!!!! We're here, we're queer, GET USED TO IT!]]
	'''Gary and James''': The protagonists of the first game. They carry magical guns that have infinite ammo but require to be reloaded every fucking second.		'''[[Gay\|Gary and James]]''': The protagonists of the first game. They carry magical guns that have infinite ammo but require to be [[fail\|reloaded every fucking second]].

	'''Thomas''': The one with the goatee. By 2019 he had gone missing, leading "H" and his daughter Lisa to search for him since he hadn't texted them for about 3 days.		'''Thomas''': The one with the goatee. By 2019 he had gone missing, leading "[[homosexual\|H]]" and his daughter Lisa to search for him since he hadn't texted them for about 3 days.

	'''G''': The most recurring character character in the series, even though nobody can tell the characters apart as they all look the same.		'''G''': The most recurring character character in the series, even though nobody can tell the characters apart as [[Chinks\|they all look the same]].

	'''Lisa''': Rebellious daughter of Row-gun and a failed idea of a cover-girl for the franchise.		'''Lisa''': [[Slut\|Rebellious daughter]] of Row-gun and a failed idea of a cover-girl for the franchise.

	'''Kate''': Kate joined James in the fourth game. She's noobish and constantly makes smartass remarks to zombies about the fact that she's a woman. It was Kate who convinced James to end his life against "The World" by using an explosive GBA SP.		'''Kate''': Kate joined James in the fourth game. She's [[noob\|noobish]] and constantly makes smartass [[girl gamer\|remarks to zombies about the fact that she's a woman]]. It was Kate who convinced James to end his life against "The World" by using an explosive [[Nintendo\|GBA SP]].

	'''Daniel''': Curien's son. Shot his dad with Lisa's help after being forced to make a body for him.		'''Daniel''': Curien's son. [[Sandy Hook\|Shot his dad]] with Lisa's help after being forced to make a body for him.

	===Villains===		===Villains===
	'''Curien''': The mad scientist that created legions of zombies because zombie series always need a bad guy that creates the zombies for no ~~reason~~. Killed in the first game and comes back to life as a wedding ring in the third one		'''Curien''': The [[batshit insane\|mad]] scientist that created legions of zombies because zombie series always need a bad guy that [[truth\|creates the zombies for no reaso]]n. Killed in the first game and comes back to life as a [[lolwut\|wedding ring in the third one]].

	'''Goldman''': Tree-~~huger~~ that believed that infesting Europe with zombies would protect the life cycle. Kills himself.		'''Goldman''': [[faggot\|Tree-hugger]] that believed that infesting Europe with zombies would protect the life cycle. [[An hero\|Kills himself]].

	===Bosses===		===Bosses===
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	Because the standard zombies only take one bullet to kill, the characters have no personality or motives whatsoever, and the plot couldn't have more holes, people only play this series for the bosses, which include:		Because the standard zombies only take one bullet to kill, the characters have no personality or motives whatsoever, and the plot couldn't have more holes, people only play this series for the bosses, which include:

	'''The Magician''': Dr. Curien's "Masterpiece" and the most overused boss in the series. In the first game, kids thought this guy was tough shit as his weakness was unknown (clearly unaware of his pulsating leg and shoulder) but by the time he reappeared in the second game, he was a total pussy.		'''The Magician''': Dr. Curien's "[[masturbation\|Masterpiece]]" and the most overused boss in the series. In the first game, kids thought this guy was tough shit as his weakness was unknown ([[Captain Obvious\|clearly unaware of his pulsating leg and shoulder]]), but by the time he reappeared in the second game, he was a total [[pussy]].

	'''The Judgement''': A headless knight carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason killing the skeleton kills him.		'''The Judgement''': A [[Islam\|headless knight]] carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason [[Brogrammer\|killing the skeleton kills him]].

	'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].		'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].
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	'''The Emperor''': Apparently the shape-shifting bad guy from Terminator 2 is considered a zombie. Imagine The Magician but without the ability to fly and very, very slow. Was shot up by James and Gary, leading to Goldman's emo-like end.		'''The Emperor''': Apparently the shape-shifting bad guy from Terminator 2 is considered a zombie. Imagine The Magician but without the ability to fly and very, very slow. Was shot up by James and Gary, leading to Goldman's emo-like end.

	'''The World''': Butterfly-man that can make pretty flying ice dragons. In case you're oblivious to exposed hearts, its weak-point is really easy to guess. James and Kate whipped out some Uzi's to shoot it down , but it wasn't until James decided to end everything by blowing himself up with an explosive GBA SP that the thing was defeated. It's not like he could've just thrown the bomb or anything.		'''The World''': [[Deviantart\|Butterfly-man that can make pretty flying ice dragons]]. In case you're oblivious to exposed hearts, its weak-point is really [[retard\|easy to guess]]. James and Kate whipped out some Uzi's to shoot it down , but it wasn't until James decided to end everything by blowing himself up with an explosive GBA SP that the thing was defeated. It's not like he could've just thrown the bomb or anything.

	'''Temperance''': A fat American.		'''Temperance''': A fat [[American]].

	'''The Sun''': A sunflower that chokes itself when you hurt it.		'''The Sun''': A sunflower that chokes itself when you hurt it.

	'''The Fool''': A sloth prone to falling asleep and taking 50 hours to finish one attack.		'''The Fool''': [[Chris-chan\|A sloth prone to falling asleep and taking 50 hours to finish one attack]].

	'''The Lovers''': A pair of spiders that were accidentally attached during hardcore sex.		'''The Lovers''': A pair of spiders that were accidentally attached during [[pornography\|hardcore sex]].

	==Weapons and Items==		==Weapons and Items==
	===Weapons===		===Weapons===
	*Magical gun that has infinite bullets A		*[[Mary Sue\|Magical gun that has infinite bullets A]]
	*Magical gun that has infinite bullets B		*[[Goldeneye 007\|Magical gun that has infinite bullets B]]
	*'''Killer keyboard''': A [[Dreamcast]] backpack with a keyboard featured in the lame version of the game. It can kill anything with the pressing of a few words.		*'''Killer keyboard''': A [[Dreamcast]] backpack with a keyboard featured in the lame version of the game. [[LifeInATent\|It can kill anything with the pressing of a few words]].
	*'''Shotgun''': Featured in the third installment of the game. Worst weapon in the whole series.		*'''Shotgun''': Featured in the third installment of the game. Worst weapon in the whole series.
	*'''Uzis''': Featured in the fourth installment of the game. Somehow, it can actually shoot grenades.		*'''[[Israel\|Uzis]]''': Featured in the fourth installment of the game. Somehow, it can actually [[lolwut\|shoot grenades]].

	===Items===		===Items===
	*First AID kit		*First AID kit with [[Hello Kitty]] bandages
	*~~Useless junk~~		*A Playboy featuring Paris Hilton!
	*First AID kit		*First AID kit with Tylenol!
	*~~Foreign currency~~		*20 Euros, useless in most of Europe.
	*First AID kit		*First AID kit with [[Herpes\|Valtrex]] for that French whore you slept with.
	*And finally, a First AID kit.		*And finally, a First AID kit with cyanide, so you can kill yourself for playing this game for so long.

	==Gallery==		==Gallery==

imported>Gray at 00:07, 27 February 2013

2013-02-27T00:07:04Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:07, 27 February 2013
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	'''The Magician''': Dr. Curien's "Masterpiece" and the most overused boss in the series. In the first game, kids thought this guy was tough shit as his weakness was unknown (clearly unaware of his pulsating leg and shoulder) but by the time he reappeared in the second game, he was a total pussy.		'''The Magician''': Dr. Curien's "Masterpiece" and the most overused boss in the series. In the first game, kids thought this guy was tough shit as his weakness was unknown (clearly unaware of his pulsating leg and shoulder) but by the time he reappeared in the second game, he was a total pussy.

	'''The Judgement''': A headless knight carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason ~~klling~~ the skeleton kills him.		'''The Judgement''': A headless knight carrying an axe that is always accompanied by a annoying flying robot skeleton. Takes forever to attack and for some reason killing the skeleton kills him.

	'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].		'''The Tower''': A mutant snake with 5 [[head]]s that is encountered in the sewers. Its middle head can detach and swim about like [[sperm]].