Hellsing - Revision history

Stoic Sigma 2: /* Main Characters */

2024-11-07T06:00:45Z

Main Characters

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:00, 7 November 2024
Line 46:		Line 46:
	* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]		* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]

	* '''[[tl;dr\|Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing]]:''' [[shemale\|A woman who dresses like a man]]. It should be noted that it takes the average reader AT LEAST 2 volumes before they discover she is a woman. This isn't helped by a fucktard translator mistranslating her title, combined with a suck-ass fanbase who refused to accept a more accurate translation because they thought insulting Integral by calling her 'Sir' every time they refer to her was totally okay. Many fanbois speculate that she is in love with Seras, and demand that Kouta Hirano write a new manga series to explain how much hot lesbian sex Seras and Integral had during Alucard's absence. Because as we all know, hot women immediately turn to each other in the absence of a hot, virile man. Most fanbois are as stupid as fuck, and never comprehend that Integral is a staunch Anglican.		* '''[[tl;dr\|Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing]]:''' [[shemale\|A woman who dresses like a man]]. It should be noted that it takes the average reader AT LEAST 2 volumes before they discover she is a woman. This isn't helped by a fucktard translator mistranslating her title, combined with a suck-ass fanbase who refused to accept a more accurate translation because they thought insulting Integral by calling her 'Sir' every time they refer to her was totally okay. Many fanbois speculate that she is in love with Seras, and demand that Kouta Hirano write a new manga series to explain how much hot lesbian sex Seras and Integral had during Alucard's absence. Because as we all know, hot women immediately turn to each other in the absence of a hot, virile man. Most fanbois are as stupid as fuck, and never comprehend that Integral is a staunch [[Anglican]].

	* '''Walter [[Cum\|C.]] Dornez:''' A Jew who fought [[Hitler]] with fishing line. He is Integra's personal servant, saved from a life of getting ass-raped as an Anglican choir-boy. He gets the shit [[pwn\|pwned]] out of him by Alucard [[over_9000\|over 9,000]] times [[for_great_justice\|for great justice]].		* '''Walter [[Cum\|C.]] Dornez:''' A Jew who fought [[Hitler]] with fishing line. He is Integra's personal servant, saved from a life of getting ass-raped as an Anglican choir-boy. He gets the shit [[pwn\|pwned]] out of him by Alucard [[over_9000\|over 9,000]] times [[for_great_justice\|for great justice]].

imported>Fagnum P. I.: /* Not To Be Confused With */

2021-11-04T21:53:31Z

Not To Be Confused With

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:53, 4 November 2021
Line 154:		Line 154:

	==Not To Be Confused With==		==Not To Be Confused With==
	*[[~~Fat\|~~Hellsing920]]		*[[Hellsing920]]

	==External links==		==External links==

imported>Jmariofan7 at 07:09, 3 November 2021

2021-11-03T07:09:43Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:09, 3 November 2021
Line 42:		Line 42:

	==Main Characters==		==Main Characters==
	* '''Alucard:''' The main character. Alucard is lame [[Goth \| Vampire]] with a great big perpetual [[German\|shit-eating]] grin on his face. Despite this, however, he possesses the power of God and cannot die. Unfortunately by some cruel twist of fate he is to be a servant to Lady Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing for the rest of his days. <s>Since his name is "DRACULA" backwards (OMG SUBTLETY!) there is perpetual fan [[shit nobody cares about\|debate]] over whether or not he is Dracula himself, Dracula's son or in fact, a mere Jew.</s> Was revealed in 8th volume that he is Dracula. SPOILER ALERT! ALUCARD DIES BY ABSORBING SCHRODINGER		* '''Alucard:''' The main character. Alucard is a lame [[Goth \| Vampire]] with a great big perpetual [[German\|shit-eating]] grin on his face. Despite this, however, he possesses the power of God and cannot die. Unfortunately by some cruel twist of fate he is to be a servant to Lady Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing for the rest of his days. <s>Since his name is "DRACULA" backwards (OMG SUBTLETY!) there is perpetual fan [[shit nobody cares about\|debate]] over whether or not he is Dracula himself, Dracula's son or in fact, a mere Jew.</s> Was revealed in 8th volume that he is Dracula. SPOILER ALERT! ALUCARD DIES BY ABSORBING SCHRODINGER

	* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]		* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]

imported>Jmariofan7 at 07:07, 3 November 2021

2021-11-03T07:07:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:07, 3 November 2021
Line 42:		Line 42:

	==Main Characters==		==Main Characters==
	* '''Alucard:''' The main character ~~and protagonist~~. Alucard is lame [[Goth \| Vampire]] with a great big perpetual [[German\|shit-eating]] grin on his face. Despite this, however, he possesses the power of God and cannot die. Unfortunately by some cruel twist of fate he is to be a servant to Lady Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing for the rest of his days. <s>Since his name is "DRACULA" backwards (OMG SUBTLETY!) there is perpetual fan [[shit nobody cares about\|debate]] over whether or not he is Dracula himself, Dracula's son or in fact, a mere Jew.</s> Was revealed in 8th volume that he is Dracula. SPOILER ALERT! ALUCARD DIES BY ABSORBING SCHRODINGER		* '''Alucard:''' The main character. Alucard is lame [[Goth \| Vampire]] with a great big perpetual [[German\|shit-eating]] grin on his face. Despite this, however, he possesses the power of God and cannot die. Unfortunately by some cruel twist of fate he is to be a servant to Lady Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing for the rest of his days. <s>Since his name is "DRACULA" backwards (OMG SUBTLETY!) there is perpetual fan [[shit nobody cares about\|debate]] over whether or not he is Dracula himself, Dracula's son or in fact, a mere Jew.</s> Was revealed in 8th volume that he is Dracula. SPOILER ALERT! ALUCARD DIES BY ABSORBING SCHRODINGER

	* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]		* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]

imported>Jmariofan7 at 07:06, 3 November 2021

2021-11-03T07:06:22Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:06, 3 November 2021
Line 16:		Line 16:

	A creation of someone's sickening imagination, probably driven by a mix of depression, [[Quentin Tarantino\|gayness]], and [[LSD]] mixed with rubbing [[alcohol]]. A script was not involved in the creation process.		A creation of someone's sickening imagination, probably driven by a mix of depression, [[Quentin Tarantino\|gayness]], and [[LSD]] mixed with rubbing [[alcohol]]. A script was not involved in the creation process.
	Interesting details: One of the few anime series that actually looks painful (knife licking, knife through neck, fork in eyes, etc.) The ~~good guy~~ is made of blood, is immortal, the biggest fucking [[Mary Sue]] since [[My Immortal\|Enoby Dark'ness]], and can turn into a [[Fatty\|big, black, eye-covered blob]]. The "master" figure is confirmed as a female in episode 10.		Interesting details: One of the few anime series that actually looks painful (knife licking, knife through neck, fork in eyes, etc.) The “good guy” is made of blood, is immortal, the biggest fucking [[Mary Sue]] since [[My Immortal\|Enoby Dark'ness]], and can turn into a [[Fatty\|big, black, eye-covered blob]]. The "master" figure is confirmed as a female in episode 10.

	As of sometime [[last Thursday]] they were making a remake of the OAV that is supposed to [[pwn]] the original 13 episode series. The new OAV follows the [[manga]] more closely than it's [[Defriend\|disowned]] counterpart. Really, though, it's just the same thing with more knives and [[over 9000]] people getting stabbed.		As of sometime [[last Thursday]] they were making a remake of the OAV that is supposed to [[pwn]] the original 13 episode series. The new OAV follows the [[manga]] more closely than it's [[Defriend\|disowned]] counterpart. Really, though, it's just the same thing with more knives and [[over 9000]] people getting stabbed.

imported>MentalJess: /* Reboot */

2018-12-16T21:58:17Z

Reboot

@@ Line 130: / Line 130: @@
 Image:Nazivampire.gif|Baby eating Nazi vampire.
 </gallery>}}
 ==See Also==

imported>Wikipediaisgay: /* Main Characters */

2016-09-10T20:34:57Z

Main Characters

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:34, 10 September 2016
Line 52:		Line 52:
	* '''Father Anderson:''' Alucard's rival (which is fucking pointless, since Alucard can't be killed). He is a Catholic [[pedophile]] priest who works for the Vatican, and speaks with a fucking retarded Scottish accent. He fights with knives and pieces of paper, and is the only human character who can't be killed. Fortunately this is proven wrong in Volume 8 when he is brutally fucked by Alucard and turns into a tree, which is then turned into a polished wooden dildo.		* '''Father Anderson:''' Alucard's rival (which is fucking pointless, since Alucard can't be killed). He is a Catholic [[pedophile]] priest who works for the Vatican, and speaks with a fucking retarded Scottish accent. He fights with knives and pieces of paper, and is the only human character who can't be killed. Fortunately this is proven wrong in Volume 8 when he is brutally fucked by Alucard and turns into a tree, which is then turned into a polished wooden dildo.

	* '''Captain Pip Bernadotte:''' The leader of some group of the mercenary group called "Cock of Cheese". He is a porn star who [[Masturbation\|faps]] to Seras on a regular basis. It should also be noted that his accent and ethnicity changes every third day of the week.		* '''Captain Pip Bernadotte:''' The leader of some group of the mercenary group called "Cock of Cheese". He is a porn star who [[Masturbation\|faps]] to Seras on a regular basis. <s>It should also be noted that his accent and ethnicity changes every third day of the week</s> Only his accent changes. He is also a paradox because he is a [[French]] mercenary.

	* '''Major [[Anonymous \|Whatshisname:]]''' The reincarnation of [[Hitler]] with [[fat\|hideous eating disorder]], also known as [[unfunny\|Drew Carey]]'s twin, who inevitably ignites World War 3 [[I did it for the lulz\|just for the lulz of it]]. He's also a cyborg. [[WTF\|Seriously]].		* '''Major [[Anonymous \|Whatshisname:]]''' The reincarnation of [[Hitler]] with [[fat\|hideous eating disorder]], also known as [[unfunny\|Drew Carey]]'s twin, who inevitably ignites World War 3 [[I did it for the lulz\|just for the lulz of it]]. He's also a cyborg. [[WTF\|Seriously]].

imported>Ultimate Paragon: /* Main Characters */

2016-01-01T01:05:30Z

Main Characters

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:05, 1 January 2016
Line 64:		Line 64:
	* '''Zorin Blitz:''' Yet another dyke character. She takes steroids and carries a huge fucking scythe. She kills Pip, rapes Seras' mother and forces Seras to watch. Which is pretty typical behavior for an angry lesbian. Soon after, her head is literally ripped open by Seras who is mad for some strange reason.		* '''Zorin Blitz:''' Yet another dyke character. She takes steroids and carries a huge fucking scythe. She kills Pip, rapes Seras' mother and forces Seras to watch. Which is pretty typical behavior for an angry lesbian. Soon after, her head is literally ripped open by Seras who is mad for some strange reason.

	* '''The Captain:''' A skyscraper cleverly disguised as a Nazi that no one even knows exists. Earned his prestegious position of standing around strung out on meth all day by killing [[over 9000]] Jews. Aliases include 'Ze Kapitain' by Major, 'That guy I want inside me' by Seras and Schrödinger, and 'OH MEIN GOTT ITS TOO BIG' by Rip. Weaboos have officially decided that his name is 'Hans Günsche' because nobody in this series can have just one fucking name. Despite the fact that legions of greasy-ass cockhungry fangirls have supplied the internets with [[at least 100]] sketches and fanfiction (moar like fanFAIL, AMIRITE?) of him railing Schrodinger like a bullet train, he is arguably the only straight character in the whole series since he never did, or will, say anything that can be made fun of. Oh yeah, he's also werewolf.		* '''The Captain:''' A skyscraper cleverly disguised as a Nazi that no one even knows exists. Earned his prestegious position of standing around strung out on meth all day by killing [[over 9000]] Jews. Aliases include 'Ze Kapitain' by Major, 'That guy I want inside me' by Seras and Schrödinger, and 'OH MEIN GOTT ITS TOO BIG' by Rip. Weaboos have officially decided that his name is 'Hans Günsche' because nobody in this series can have just one fucking name. Despite the fact that legions of greasy-ass cockhungry fangirls have supplied the internets with [[at least 100]] sketches and fanfiction (moar like fanFAIL, AMIRITE?) of him railing Schrodinger like a bullet train, he is arguably the only straight character in the whole series since he never did, or will, say anything that can be made fun of. Oh yeah, he's also werewolf. Unlike [[Twilight\|Jacob Black]], he doesn't [[sick fuck\|lust after infants]].

	* '''[[Schrödinger's cat\|Schrödinger]]:''' Another character whose [[trap\|gender isn't cleary defined]]. Although argued by many, he's actually male. Schrödinger is a [[Kemonomimi\|catboy]], invented by the Nazis. Apparently. He is the only character who cannot be killed by Alucard due to the fact that he can be [[Time paradox\|"Everyvhere und Novhere"]] at the same time.		* '''[[Schrödinger's cat\|Schrödinger]]:''' Another character whose [[trap\|gender isn't cleary defined]]. Although argued by many, he's actually male. Schrödinger is a [[Kemonomimi\|catboy]], invented by the Nazis. Apparently. He is the only character who cannot be killed by Alucard due to the fact that he can be [[Time paradox\|"Everyvhere und Novhere"]] at the same time.

imported>Ultimate Paragon at 01:03, 1 January 2016

2016-01-01T01:03:04Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:03, 1 January 2016
Line 58:		Line 58:
	[[Image:ValentineBrothersHellsingColumbine.png\|thumb\|right\|[[Columbine\|The Valentine Brothers in a nutshell.]]]]		[[Image:ValentineBrothersHellsingColumbine.png\|thumb\|right\|[[Columbine\|The Valentine Brothers in a nutshell.]]]]

	* '''[[Fag\|Luke]] and [[Jan]] Valentine:''' [[an hero\|An heroes]] who decided to go on a killing spree at Hellsing HQ. Unfortunately they only last for 1 volume because the interesting characters always die first. They are easily distinguishable by the fact that Luke looks like he can power through a 10-hour buttsecks marathon and Jan is actually a [[pretty cool guy]]. Eh fuckin' skullfucks the fuck out of fuckin everything and doesn't fuckin afraid of Alucard's fuckin dyke of a fuckin boss. Fuck.		* '''[[Fag\|Luke]] and [[Jan]] Valentine:''' [[an hero\|An heroes]] who decided to go on a killing spree at Hellsing HQ. Unfortunately they only last for 1 volume because the interesting characters always die first. They are easily distinguishable by the fact that Luke looks like he can power through a 10-hour buttsecks marathon and Jan is actually a [[pretty cool guy]]. Eh fuckin' skullfucks the fuck out of fuckin everything and doesn't fuckin afraid of Alucard's fuckin dyke of a fuckin boss. Fuck. Despite being brothers, they don't look even remotely similar.

	* '''Rip Van Winkle:''' Despite the name, she's female. Her speech consists of quoting old Operas that nobody gives a shit about. She is nearsighted, and has the same dykish fashion sense as Integra. Despite being [[over 9000]] years old she still looks like a 16 year old japanese schoolgirl. Because she considers herself to be [[fail\|serious business]], she attempts to act like an opera star by caring around a [[dildo\|musket]] as a weapon (which is instant fail since muskets are complete shit). Luckily, Alucard arrives to beat the shit out of her. Though to his dismay, the musket <i>actually</i> works. Fortunately it isn't enough to stop him and he ends up impaling her with his cock. In the OVA, her voice actor cums buckets as she dies. SUBTLE.		* '''Rip Van Winkle:''' Despite the name, she's female. Her speech consists of quoting old Operas that nobody gives a shit about. She is nearsighted, and has the same dykish fashion sense as Integra. Despite being [[over 9000]] years old she still looks like a 16 year old japanese schoolgirl. Because she considers herself to be [[fail\|serious business]], she attempts to act like an opera star by caring around a [[dildo\|musket]] as a weapon (which is instant fail since muskets are complete shit). Luckily, Alucard arrives to beat the shit out of her. Though to his dismay, the musket <i>actually</i> works. Fortunately it isn't enough to stop him and he ends up impaling her with his cock. In the OVA, her voice actor cums buckets as she dies. SUBTLE.

imported>Ultimate Paragon: /* See Also */

2015-01-03T17:05:38Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 06:00, 7 November 2024
Line 46:		Line 46:
	* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]		* '''Seras Victoria:''' also known as [[Engrish\| <b>Ceres</b>, <b>Celes</b>]], or <b>Police Girl</b> (because people are too fucking stupid to ever agree on names) is a [[16-year-old girl\|16-year-old]] slut cop who gets [[rape\|turned]] into a vampire. She becomes Alucard's [[Pedophilia\|servant]] after she gets a hardcore [[anal]] [[rape]] from him in volume one. Seras carries around a huge fucking gun called "Harkonnon" which possesses the spirit of [[Jon Stewart]], whom talks to her while she sleeps. The only thing bigger than her gun, is her [[tits]], which are size of Seattle on a stormy day during the second coming of Christ, making her the only fuckable character in the entire series. Surprisingly, [[lolwut\|she claims to be a virgin.]]

	* '''[[tl;dr\|Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing]]:''' [[shemale\|A woman who dresses like a man]]. It should be noted that it takes the average reader AT LEAST 2 volumes before they discover she is a woman. This isn't helped by a fucktard translator mistranslating her title, combined with a suck-ass fanbase who refused to accept a more accurate translation because they thought insulting Integral by calling her 'Sir' every time they refer to her was totally okay. Many fanbois speculate that she is in love with Seras, and demand that Kouta Hirano write a new manga series to explain how much hot lesbian sex Seras and Integral had during Alucard's absence. Because as we all know, hot women immediately turn to each other in the absence of a hot, virile man. Most fanbois are as stupid as fuck, and never comprehend that Integral is a staunch Anglican.		* '''[[tl;dr\|Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing]]:''' [[shemale\|A woman who dresses like a man]]. It should be noted that it takes the average reader AT LEAST 2 volumes before they discover she is a woman. This isn't helped by a fucktard translator mistranslating her title, combined with a suck-ass fanbase who refused to accept a more accurate translation because they thought insulting Integral by calling her 'Sir' every time they refer to her was totally okay. Many fanbois speculate that she is in love with Seras, and demand that Kouta Hirano write a new manga series to explain how much hot lesbian sex Seras and Integral had during Alucard's absence. Because as we all know, hot women immediately turn to each other in the absence of a hot, virile man. Most fanbois are as stupid as fuck, and never comprehend that Integral is a staunch [[Anglican]].

	* '''Walter [[Cum\|C.]] Dornez:''' A Jew who fought [[Hitler]] with fishing line. He is Integra's personal servant, saved from a life of getting ass-raped as an Anglican choir-boy. He gets the shit [[pwn\|pwned]] out of him by Alucard [[over_9000\|over 9,000]] times [[for_great_justice\|for great justice]].		* '''Walter [[Cum\|C.]] Dornez:''' A Jew who fought [[Hitler]] with fishing line. He is Integra's personal servant, saved from a life of getting ass-raped as an Anglican choir-boy. He gets the shit [[pwn\|pwned]] out of him by Alucard [[over_9000\|over 9,000]] times [[for_great_justice\|for great justice]].

← Older revision		Revision as of 07:06, 3 November 2021
Line 16:		Line 16:

	A creation of someone's sickening imagination, probably driven by a mix of depression, [[Quentin Tarantino\|gayness]], and [[LSD]] mixed with rubbing [[alcohol]]. A script was not involved in the creation process.		A creation of someone's sickening imagination, probably driven by a mix of depression, [[Quentin Tarantino\|gayness]], and [[LSD]] mixed with rubbing [[alcohol]]. A script was not involved in the creation process.
	Interesting details: One of the few anime series that actually looks painful (knife licking, knife through neck, fork in eyes, etc.) The ~~good guy~~ is made of blood, is immortal, the biggest fucking [[Mary Sue]] since [[My Immortal\|Enoby Dark'ness]], and can turn into a [[Fatty\|big, black, eye-covered blob]]. The "master" figure is confirmed as a female in episode 10.		Interesting details: One of the few anime series that actually looks painful (knife licking, knife through neck, fork in eyes, etc.) The “good guy” is made of blood, is immortal, the biggest fucking [[Mary Sue]] since [[My Immortal\|Enoby Dark'ness]], and can turn into a [[Fatty\|big, black, eye-covered blob]]. The "master" figure is confirmed as a female in episode 10.

	As of sometime [[last Thursday]] they were making a remake of the OAV that is supposed to [[pwn]] the original 13 episode series. The new OAV follows the [[manga]] more closely than it's [[Defriend\|disowned]] counterpart. Really, though, it's just the same thing with more knives and [[over 9000]] people getting stabbed.		As of sometime [[last Thursday]] they were making a remake of the OAV that is supposed to [[pwn]] the original 13 episode series. The new OAV follows the [[manga]] more closely than it's [[Defriend\|disowned]] counterpart. Really, though, it's just the same thing with more knives and [[over 9000]] people getting stabbed.

← Older revision		Revision as of 01:03, 1 January 2016
Line 58:		Line 58:
	[[Image:ValentineBrothersHellsingColumbine.png\|thumb\|right\|[[Columbine\|The Valentine Brothers in a nutshell.]]]]		[[Image:ValentineBrothersHellsingColumbine.png\|thumb\|right\|[[Columbine\|The Valentine Brothers in a nutshell.]]]]

	* '''[[Fag\|Luke]] and [[Jan]] Valentine:''' [[an hero\|An heroes]] who decided to go on a killing spree at Hellsing HQ. Unfortunately they only last for 1 volume because the interesting characters always die first. They are easily distinguishable by the fact that Luke looks like he can power through a 10-hour buttsecks marathon and Jan is actually a [[pretty cool guy]]. Eh fuckin' skullfucks the fuck out of fuckin everything and doesn't fuckin afraid of Alucard's fuckin dyke of a fuckin boss. Fuck.		* '''[[Fag\|Luke]] and [[Jan]] Valentine:''' [[an hero\|An heroes]] who decided to go on a killing spree at Hellsing HQ. Unfortunately they only last for 1 volume because the interesting characters always die first. They are easily distinguishable by the fact that Luke looks like he can power through a 10-hour buttsecks marathon and Jan is actually a [[pretty cool guy]]. Eh fuckin' skullfucks the fuck out of fuckin everything and doesn't fuckin afraid of Alucard's fuckin dyke of a fuckin boss. Fuck. Despite being brothers, they don't look even remotely similar.

	* '''Rip Van Winkle:''' Despite the name, she's female. Her speech consists of quoting old Operas that nobody gives a shit about. She is nearsighted, and has the same dykish fashion sense as Integra. Despite being [[over 9000]] years old she still looks like a 16 year old japanese schoolgirl. Because she considers herself to be [[fail\|serious business]], she attempts to act like an opera star by caring around a [[dildo\|musket]] as a weapon (which is instant fail since muskets are complete shit). Luckily, Alucard arrives to beat the shit out of her. Though to his dismay, the musket <i>actually</i> works. Fortunately it isn't enough to stop him and he ends up impaling her with his cock. In the OVA, her voice actor cums buckets as she dies. SUBTLE.		* '''Rip Van Winkle:''' Despite the name, she's female. Her speech consists of quoting old Operas that nobody gives a shit about. She is nearsighted, and has the same dykish fashion sense as Integra. Despite being [[over 9000]] years old she still looks like a 16 year old japanese schoolgirl. Because she considers herself to be [[fail\|serious business]], she attempts to act like an opera star by caring around a [[dildo\|musket]] as a weapon (which is instant fail since muskets are complete shit). Luckily, Alucard arrives to beat the shit out of her. Though to his dismay, the musket <i>actually</i> works. Fortunately it isn't enough to stop him and he ends up impaling her with his cock. In the OVA, her voice actor cums buckets as she dies. SUBTLE.

← Older revision	Revision as of 17:05, 3 January 2015
(No difference)