Free Realms - Revision history

imported>LIOD: /* Videos */

2017-04-04T11:51:00Z

Videos

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:51, 4 April 2017
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	<youtube>DDFav50_2Sw</youtube>		<youtube>DDFav50_2Sw</youtube>
	<center>'''Realms Roll'd... seriously.'''</center>\|		<center>'''Realms Roll'd... seriously.'''</center>\|
	<youtube>~~eA3JNYWBCeA~~</youtube>		<youtube>B240FyrC0rg</youtube>
	<center>'''HAAAYYY KIDS!'''</center>\|		<center>'''HAAAYYY KIDS!'''</center>\|
	<youtube>~~5sF71787-dQ<~~/youtube>		<youtube>4n0YlAxErRc/youtube>
	<center>'''A bit of the theme song. Cover your ears!'''</center>\|		<center>'''A bit of the theme song. Cover your ears!'''</center>\|
	~~<youtube>g6-wrnHwAgg</youtube>~~
	~~<center>'''ED Sysops Pink Poodle vs. Piercedanon.'''</center>\|~~
	<youtube>RQoKXGVDbv0</youtube>		<youtube>RQoKXGVDbv0</youtube>
	<center>'''HAX!'''</center>\|}}\|border=#FF6FC7\|background=#FF6FC7}}</center>		<center>'''HAX!'''</center>\|}}\|border=#FF6FC7\|background=#FF6FC7}}</center>

imported>LIOD: /* THREE Million? */

2017-04-04T11:43:36Z

THREE Million?

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:43, 4 April 2017
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	===THREE Million?===		===THREE Million?===
	[http://www.~~joystiq~~.com/2009/06/13/free-realms-hits-3-million-players-ps3-version-still-in-develo/ On June 12, the game reached three million players.] [[Smed]] must be flexing his [[trollface]] at the userbases of MMORPG.com by now. It continues to grow.		[http://www.engadget.com/2009/06/13/free-realms-hits-3-million-players-ps3-version-still-in-develo/ On June 12, the game reached three million players.] [[Smed]] must be flexing his [[trollface]] at the userbases of MMORPG.com by now. It continues to grow.

	==The Dares==		==The Dares==

imported>LIOD: /* Holy Balls! TWO Million?! */

2017-04-04T11:42:31Z

Holy Balls! TWO Million?!

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:42, 4 April 2017
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	===Holy Balls! TWO Million?!===		===Holy Balls! TWO Million?!===
	[[Image:Chatdy_gtfo.png\|thumb\|right\|[[GTFO\|It's not always your world.]]]]		[[Image:Chatdy_gtfo.png\|thumb\|right\|[[GTFO\|It's not always your world.]]]]
	[http://www.~~massively~~.com/2009/05/28/over-2-million-now-served-in-free-realms/ Two weeks after the May 15 parties, FR hit two million players.] WoWfags sat in a corner to raid Ulduar for the [[At least 100\|100th time]] and to listen to [[Linkin Park]], unaware that [[Duh\|FR and WoW are two totally different types of MMOs]]. Right after FR hit two million, [http://www.~~massively~~.com/2009/05/29/soe-is-jacking-out-of-the-matrix-online/ SOE marked ''The Matrix Online'' to be shut down in late July of 2009] - [[Shit_nobody_cares_about\| but who cares?]]		[http://www.engadget.com/2009/05/28/over-2-million-now-served-in-free-realms/ Two weeks after the May 15 parties, FR hit two million players.] WoWfags sat in a corner to raid Ulduar for the [[At least 100\|100th time]] and to listen to [[Linkin Park]], unaware that [[Duh\|FR and WoW are two totally different types of MMOs]]. Right after FR hit two million, [http://www.engadget.com/2009/05/29/soe-is-jacking-out-of-the-matrix-online/ SOE marked ''The Matrix Online'' to be shut down in late July of 2009] - [[Shit_nobody_cares_about\| but who cares?]]

	{{squote\|I'm not sure how Smedly thinks that Free Realms "resonates with MMO gamers" There is nothing here to hold a mature gamer's attention for more than an hour or two total.\|Lethality, Massively user and obvious fucking WoWfag who takes MMORPGs srsly;}}		{{squote\|I'm not sure how Smedly thinks that Free Realms "resonates with MMO gamers" There is nothing here to hold a mature gamer's attention for more than an hour or two total.\|Lethality, Massively user and obvious fucking WoWfag who takes MMORPGs srsly;}}

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-01T16:23:23Z

Fixing.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:23, 1 June 2011
(No difference)

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-01T16:23:23Z

Fixing.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:23, 1 June 2011
(No difference)

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-01T16:23:23Z

Fixing.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:23, 1 June 2011
(No difference)

imported>JuniusThaddeus: Fixing.

2011-06-01T16:23:23Z

Fixing.

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	{{spoiler\|IT'S YOUR WORLD YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO}}		{{spoiler\|IT'S YOUR WORLD YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO}}
	[[Image:Chatty.png\|thumb\|right\|Chatdy the flying squirrel, [[Pedobear]]'s newest comrade and one of the most annoying mascots ever.]]		[[Image:Chatty.png\|thumb\|right\|Chatdy the flying squirrel, [[Pedobear]]'s newest comrade and one of the most annoying mascots ever.]]
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	<br><br>		<br><br>
	<center>{{Frame\|<youtube>YuY7xdYBx1o</youtube>		<center>{{Frame\|<youtube>YuY7xdYBx1o</youtube>
	<center>'''Look at them stoned fuckers.'''</center>\|~~color~~=#FF6FC7}}</center>		<center>'''Look at them stoned fuckers.'''</center>\|border=#FF6FC7\|background=#FF6FC7}}</center>
	<br><br>		<br><br>
	<center><gallery>		<center><gallery>
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	<center>'''ED Sysops Pink Poodle vs. Piercedanon.'''</center>\|		<center>'''ED Sysops Pink Poodle vs. Piercedanon.'''</center>\|
	<youtube>RQoKXGVDbv0</youtube>		<youtube>RQoKXGVDbv0</youtube>
	<center>'''HAX!'''</center>\|}}\|~~color~~=#FF6FC7}}</center>		<center>'''HAX!'''</center>\|}}\|border=#FF6FC7\|background=#FF6FC7}}</center>

	==Related Articles==		==Related Articles==

imported>Unknown: Created page with " {{spoiler|IT'S YOUR WORLD YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO}} Chatdy the flying squirrel, [[Pedobear's newest comrade and one of the most annoyin..."

2011-04-16T03:38:31Z

Created page with " {{spoiler|IT'S YOUR WORLD YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO}} thumb|right|Chatdy the flying squirrel, [[Pedobear's newest comrade and one of the most annoyin..."

New page

{{spoiler|IT'S YOUR WORLD YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO}}
[[Image:Chatty.png|thumb|right|Chatdy the flying squirrel, [[Pedobear]]'s newest comrade and one of the most annoying mascots ever.]]
'''''Free Realms''''' is a [[MMORPG]] for [[children]] on the [[PC]] and eventually the [[PS3|PS Triple]]. It was created when [[John Smedley]] took a fuckton of [[LSD]] after playing loads of [[WoW]], [[EQ2]], [[Mario|Mario Kart]], [[Animal Crossing]], and [[Kitchen|Cooking Mama]]. The story consists simply of: "be a hipster that beats the shit out of seagulls and drives cars into things." Notably, this game looks like [[Nintendo]] made it, but no, [[SOE]] did.

==Gameplay==
[[Image:Free_realms_clyde.jpg|thumb|right|HNGGG STRANGLE THAT [[Clyde Cash|CLYDE CASH]]]]
The gameplay of Free Realms is [[Wii|ultra-casual]] and obviously targeted at [[12 year old girls]]. Everything is colorful and almost patronizing (for example, if you do not quickly find three blocks to match in the ''Bejeweled''-style games, ''it does it for you''.) The game also downloads things over time, like ''[[Guild Wars]]'' does, and is almost completely instanced (meaning you fight monsters and do other fun, useful activities away from people in the overworld area.)

The instances are also minigames. Be it fighting [[frog]]s, racing [[Mario Kart|karts]] and crashing them, harvesting weird [[fags|fruits]] to cook with, you can choose to be [[alone]] in a world of sugar-hyped kiddies.

SOE also encourages [[facebook|socializing]], which usually means talking about ''Webkinz''.

==Races==
There are currently only two playable races (something ''Free Realms'' does not share with EQ2.): humans, which are [[metrosexual]]-looking preteens, and [[weeaboo|pixies]], [[fairies]] with huge [[Animu|bobble-heads]].

==Jobs==
[[Image:Free_realms_pixie.jpg|thumb|right|A [[fairy|pixie]]. [[Gay]].]]
[[Image:Free_realms_karts.jpg|thumb|right|''Mario Kart'' clone.]]
[[Image:Free_realms_chef.jpg|thumb|right|[[Pie]]s!]]
Free Realms has a system where you can change your job at any time. It's kind of similar to ''[[Final Fantasy XI]]'', except the jobs are completely out of place. You'd expect combat classes like an [[MMORPG]], and to an extent, crafters, but out of fucking nowhere, you can pick a class that can [[Awesome|smash cars into other cars]]. These are all playable up until level 5 and Jew.

*'''[[Hippy|Archer]]''' - Shoots arrows.

*'''[[Hipster|Adventurer]]''' - This class is the default class. It only levels up by collecting floating tokens, bubbles, flowers, and other household items. It can also dress up like a [[metrosexual]].

*'''[[Black]]smith''' - Make weapons for people! [[No|Hurray!]]

*'''[[Internet tough guy|Brawler]]''' - The typical fighter class. They wield huge [[Banhammer|hammers]] and throw rocks at shit. When playing this class, you [[Super Smash Bros.|button-mash]] as much as possible.

*'''[[Yugioh|Card Duelist]]''' - Play card games with virtual cards or cards bought [[IRL]] ingame. The whole thing has been done already in [[EQ2]].

*'''[[Kitchen|Chef]]''' - Plays like a combination of ''Bejeweled'' and ''Cooking Mama''. By going back to the [[kitchen]], you can make all sorts of food using [[pot|what appear to be common herbs]].

*'''[[Derby|Demo Derby Driver]]''' - By using controls that are shakier than [[Michael J. Fox]]'s handwriting, you can run cars into each other and watch them fukken explode.

*'''[[Old|Fisherman]]''' - Same thing as ''[[Animal Crossing]]''.

*'''[[Redneck|Go Kart Driver]]''' - ''Mario Kart'' with the same controls as the demolition derby class.

*'''[[Team Fortress 2|Medic]]''' - You can either heal people or hack the shit out of things with a bonesaw. [[TF2|Sound familiar]]?

*'''[[Jew Gold|Miner]]''' - Basically the chef class except everything's replaced with rocks.

*'''[[Ninja]]''' - This class is supposed to be based on stealth. From that it can be deduced that most Free Realms characters are completely colorblind to the colors represented in the [[naruto|pastel clothing]] of the ninjas.

*'''[[World Cup|Soccer Star]]''' - A semi free-to-play class. Play soccer to annoying-as-fuck music!

*'''[[NeoPets|Pet Trainer]]''' - While this class is free to play as, the pets that are trained aren't. [[Dogs]] and [[cats]] with their own personalities cost two USD. The gameplay is just like ''[[Nintendo DS|Nintendogs]]'', further adding to the idea that this game is a giant "[[NO U]]" from [[Sony]] to [[Nintendo]].

*'''[[Speed|Postman]]''' - Level up by running away from dogs and chucking [[spam]] into people's [[Email|inboxes]]!

*'''[[Viking|Warrior]]''' - Viking helms, axes, and [[BDSM|leather outfits]].

*'''[[Harry Potter|Wizard]]''' - The [[typical]] magic-using class. Users with this class dress like a cross between [[WoW]] and ''[[Harry Potter]]'' characters.

==It's Over One Million!==
Hate to pull out [[Over 9000|that old meme]], but ''Free Realms'' got over one million players within a month. [http://www.massively.com/2009/05/15/free-realms-destroys-the-1-million-account-speed-record/ In fact, this was actually record-breaking.] This news alone caused [[Butthurt|pains in the rear-ends]] of people [[Darkfall|who ''insist'' MMORPGs should be "hardcore"]] and WoW players. SOE came and made [[party hard|parties]] on May 15, 2009.

To give you an idea of how [[fag]]gy these parties were, we have provided some pictures below.

<center><gallery>
Image:Free_Realms_1mil_1.PNG|[[Nazi|Sieg heil mein fuhrer Smedley!]]
Image:Free_Realms_1mil_2.PNG|[[I did it for the lulz|They do it for the lulz.]]
Image:Free_Realms_1mil_3.PNG|A [[frog]] on [[fire]].
Image:Free_Realms_1mil_4.PNG.PNG|Yup.
</gallery></center>

===Holy Balls! TWO Million?!===
[[Image:Chatdy_gtfo.png|thumb|right|[[GTFO|It's not always your world.]]]]
[http://www.massively.com/2009/05/28/over-2-million-now-served-in-free-realms/ Two weeks after the May 15 parties, FR hit two million players.] WoWfags sat in a corner to raid Ulduar for the [[At least 100|100th time]] and to listen to [[Linkin Park]], unaware that [[Duh|FR and WoW are two totally different types of MMOs]]. Right after FR hit two million, [http://www.massively.com/2009/05/29/soe-is-jacking-out-of-the-matrix-online/ SOE marked ''The Matrix Online'' to be shut down in late July of 2009] - [[Shit_nobody_cares_about| but who cares?]]

{{squote|I'm not sure how Smedly thinks that Free Realms "resonates with MMO gamers" There is nothing here to hold a mature gamer's attention for more than an hour or two total.|Lethality, Massively user and obvious fucking WoWfag who takes MMORPGs srsly;}}

===THREE Million?===
[http://www.joystiq.com/2009/06/13/free-realms-hits-3-million-players-ps3-version-still-in-develo/ On June 12, the game reached three million players.] [[Smed]] must be flexing his [[trollface]] at the userbases of MMORPG.com by now. It continues to grow.

==The Dares==
[[Image:Unicorn_pee_rainbows.PNG|thumb|right|Grade-A user fap material]]
The theme song "It's Your World" was done by The Dares, a [[California]]-based pop-rock band. They probably smoke a fuckton of [[pot]], as [[you|one]] could assume by watching the video just below this text. [http://www.myspace.com/thedares You can listen to the theme song here, but you'll probably gouge your eardrums out twenty seconds into the song.]

===E3 Concert===
On June 2, The Dares held a concert at E3 while it was broadcasted ingame in ''Free Realms''. This [[What|somehow]] got them an [[Buttsecks|award]] for being the first ever to perform a live and ingame event at the same [[Time paradox|time]]. Snowhill (a place in the game where the concert was held) was swamped with ''[[Twilight]]'' fans, kids complaining that they weren't the [[Jonas Brothers]], people [[spam]]ming "&%^&%^%^&^%^&&^%^&%&^^&^^ LOLLLLLLLLLLL", and faggots from E3 itself.

 
<center>{{Frame|<youtube>YuY7xdYBx1o</youtube>
<center>'''Look at them stoned fuckers.'''</center>|color=#FF6FC7}}</center>
 
<center><gallery>
Image:The_dares_awarded.jpg|[[You win the prize]]!
Image:The_dares_concert.jpg|[[Stoner|YEAH DUDE ROCK ON]]
Image:The_dares_concert2.jpg|[[Marijuana|TOTALLY RAD]]
</gallery></center>

==Station Terms of Service==
[[Image:Nofriendsgame.jpg|thumb|[[Fact]].]]
[[Image:Free_realms_goblins.jpg|thumb|right|[[Trolls]] ahoy!]]
[[Image:Free_realms_mascot.jpg|thumb|Aww fuck, you're in trouble now]]
Since children are playing this game, [[SOE]] has rights to [[Troll|look into your system as you play it]]. This makes trolling in the game hard, but not impossible. This complete [[bullshit]] though due to that fact that [[WoW|most games have children playing on them]].

{{squote|D. CONSENT TO MONITOR

Please note that some games available on or through The Station may, when in operation, monitor your computer's random access memory, MAC address, and system and configuration files, crash data, etc. for the purpose of monitoring and improving quality and service and also for the purpose of identifying unauthorized third party programs running concurrently with your game which, in SOE's sole determination: (i) enable or facilitate cheating of any type; (ii) allow users to modify or hack the applicable game interface, environment, and/or experience in any way not expressly authorized by SOE; or (iii) intercept, "mine" or otherwise collect information from or through the applicable game (an "Unauthorized Third Party Program"). In the event that a game detects an Unauthorized Third Party Program, (a) the game may communicate information back to SOE, including without limitation your Station Account username, details about the Unauthorized Third Party Program detected and the activities or functions performed thereby, and/or details about your computer, and/or (b) SOE may exercise any or all of its rights and remedies under this Agreement or the applicable game end user license agreement without prior notice to the user linked to such Unauthorized Third Party Program.|Data Miners...}}

<center>LOL</center>
 

==Trolling==
Really? You're on [[ED]] and you don't know how to troll twelve year-olds? What the fuck is wrong with you?

==Videos==
<center>{{Frame|{{fv|freerealmsvids|background-color: #FF6FC7;|font-weight: bold;|
<youtube>DDFav50_2Sw</youtube>
<center>'''Realms Roll'd... seriously.'''</center>|
<youtube>eA3JNYWBCeA</youtube>
<center>'''HAAAYYY KIDS!'''</center>|
<youtube>5sF71787-dQ</youtube>
<center>'''A bit of the theme song. Cover your ears!'''</center>|
<youtube>g6-wrnHwAgg</youtube>
<center>'''ED Sysops Pink Poodle vs. Piercedanon.'''</center>|
<youtube>RQoKXGVDbv0</youtube>
<center>'''HAX!'''</center>|}}|color=#FF6FC7}}</center>

==Related Articles==
[[Image:Free_Realms_Bert.PNG|thumb|right|IT'S YOUR WORLD YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO]]
*[[Habbo]]
*[[SOE]]
*''[[EverQuest II]]''
*''[[World of Warcraft]]''
*''[[Runescape]]''
*''[[Club Penguin]]''
*[[Jonas Brothers]]
*[[Kids]]

==External Links==
*[http://www.freerealms.com Official Website.]
*[http://gigaom.com/2009/04/29/can-free-realms-get-sony-into-kids-mmo-game/ ''Free Realms'' vs. ''Club Penguin'']
*[http://www.freerealmsinsider.com/codes Free FR codes so you can run around in a goblin shirt and carry dynamite.]

{{gaming}}
{{mmoseries}}

{{Timeline|Featured article March 21, [[2010]]|[[Vampire]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Chris Hansen]]}}

[[Category:Gaming]]