EA - Revision history

imported>CrackRabbit: /* See Also */

2023-07-19T09:45:00Z

imported>CrackRabbit: /* See Also */

2023-07-19T09:45:00Z

imported>Suleiko at 11:26, 4 November 2018

2018-11-04T11:26:56Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:26, 4 November 2018
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	<br>		<br>
	[[Image:EAistheDevil.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Everybody hates EA]]		[[Image:EAistheDevil.jpg\|thumb\|right\|Everybody hates EA]]
	'''Electronic Farts''' also known as EA Games, Egotistical Arseholes or Electronic [[~~AIDS~~]], is yet another corporate parasite sucking on the vein of the [[You\|weak and feeble minded]] that purchase their yearly regurgitated shit, seasoned with [[Batshit insane\|"state of the art"]] drm software, [[Fact\|that gets cracked in less than a week]], and another asinine stale attempt at a digital distribution platform called Origin, that no one will use since everyone has [[Steam]]. When EA is not busy surviving on the backs of universal [[You\|dumbshits]], they're recycling the same garbage over and over again. Proud winner of "The Worst Company in America" twice. Amazingly this didn't ring any bells to the apes that buy their shit. If their games don't convince you to commit suicide, then nothing will. Founded [[last Thursday]] by Trip "On Acid" Hopkins, it began by swallowing up good game developers in its [[Jew\|vortex of greed]] and shitting out games like "[[Spore]]" and "SimCity".		'''Electronic Farts''' also known as EA Games, Egotistical Arseholes, Electronic [[AIDS]] or Electronic [[Assburgers]] is yet another corporate parasite sucking on the vein of the [[You\|weak and feeble minded]] that purchase their yearly regurgitated shit, seasoned with [[Batshit insane\|"state of the art"]] drm software, [[Fact\|that gets cracked in less than a week]], and another asinine stale attempt at a digital distribution platform called Origin, that no one will use since everyone has [[Steam]]. When EA is not busy surviving on the backs of universal [[You\|dumbshits]], they're recycling the same garbage over and over again. Proud winner of "The Worst Company in America" twice. Amazingly this didn't ring any bells to the apes that buy their shit. If their games don't convince you to commit suicide, then nothing will. Founded [[last Thursday]] by Trip "On Acid" Hopkins, it began by swallowing up good game developers in its [[Jew\|vortex of greed]] and shitting out games like "[[Spore]]" and "SimCity".

	==History==		==History==

imported>Excalibur624: /* Sales Strategy */

2018-03-09T21:42:02Z

Sales Strategy

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:42, 9 March 2018
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	*''NCAA Football '08''		*''NCAA Football '08''
	*''NCAA March Madness '08''		*''NCAA March Madness '08''
	*''Plants vs. Zombies''		*''[[Plants vs. Zombies]]''
	*''[[The Sims]]'' series with [[at least 100]] new expansion packs every month.		*''[[The Sims]]'' series with [[at least 100]] new expansion packs every month.
	*''<s>Canceled sequel to a game people actually did want released</s>'' - LOL CANCELED!		*''<s>Canceled sequel to a game people actually did want released</s>'' - LOL CANCELED!

imported>Excalibur624: /* How EA Makes Profit */

2018-03-09T21:41:14Z

How EA Makes Profit

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:41, 9 March 2018
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	Step 1: Identify a popular title.		Step 1: Identify a popular title.
	We will be using the Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare series as an example.		We will be using the [[Plants vs. Zombies\|Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare]] series as an example.

	Step 2: Acquire the said title		Step 2: Acquire the said title
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	*<s>If the people don't want to sign the contract, offer a bigger sum of money</s> Just kidding. No small developer will refuse a huge sum of money and a big name like EA.		*<s>If the people don't want to sign the contract, offer a bigger sum of money</s> Just kidding. No small developer will refuse a huge sum of money and a big name like EA.
	Step 3: Planning a new sequel		Step 3: Planning a new sequel
	*Announce the said sequel (eg Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2)		*Announce the said sequel (eg [[Plants vs. Zombies\|Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2]])
	*Build the hype		*Build the hype
	*Make a tight deadline, so that the developer will barely be able to code a mediocre game in that time (eg. Crap balancing, abundance of game-breaking glitches, shitty ass netcode)		*Make a tight deadline, so that the developer will barely be able to code a mediocre game in that time (eg. Crap balancing, abundance of game-breaking glitches, shitty ass netcode)

imported>Excalibur624: /* Sales Strategy */

2018-03-09T02:09:36Z

Sales Strategy

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:09, 9 March 2018
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	*''NCAA Football '08''		*''NCAA Football '08''
	*''NCAA March Madness '08''		*''NCAA March Madness '08''
			*''Plants vs. Zombies''
	*''[[The Sims]]'' series with [[at least 100]] new expansion packs every month.		*''[[The Sims]]'' series with [[at least 100]] new expansion packs every month.
	*''<s>Canceled sequel to a game people actually did want released</s>'' - LOL CANCELED!		*''<s>Canceled sequel to a game people actually did want released</s>'' - LOL CANCELED!
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	*''Big name "Flavor of the month" movie/TV license''		*''Big name "Flavor of the month" movie/TV license''
	*''Sim[[Shitty\|City]]''		*''Sim[[Shitty\|City]]''
			*''[[Shart]] Wars: Battle[[fuck\|fuckfest]]''
	*''Mass Effect (2,3 AND BEYOND)''		*''Mass Effect (2,3 AND BEYOND)''
	*''Wigger Racing: Faggotry''		*''Wigger Racing: Faggotry''

imported>Excalibur624: /* How EA Makes Profit */

2018-03-09T02:02:46Z

How EA Makes Profit

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:02, 9 March 2018
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	Step 1: Identify a popular title.		Step 1: Identify a popular title.
	We will be using the Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare series as an example.		We will be using the Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare series as an example.

	Step 2: Acquire the said title		Step 2: Acquire the said title
	*Make sure the company is naive		*Make sure the company is naive

imported>Excalibur624: /* How EA Makes Profit */

2018-03-09T02:02:29Z

How EA Makes Profit

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:02, 9 March 2018
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	==How EA Makes Profit==		==How EA Makes Profit==

	Step 1: Identify a popular title		Step 1: Identify a popular title.
	*eg Plants vs Zombies		We will be using the Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare series as an example.
	Step 2: Acquire the said title		Step 2: Acquire the said title
	*Make sure the company is naive		*Make sure the company is naive
	*Make sure to provide a generous sum of money		*Make sure to provide a generous sum of money
	*Convince the devs to sign a contract selling their souls		*Convince the devs to sign a contract selling their souls
	*<s>If the people don't want to sign the contract, offer a bigger sum of money</s> Just kidding. No small developer will refuse a huge sum of money and a big name like EA.		*<s>If the people don't want to sign the contract, offer a bigger sum of money</s> Just kidding. No small developer will refuse a huge sum of money and a big name like EA.
	Step 3: Planning a new sequel		Step 3: Planning a new sequel
	*Announce the said sequel		*Announce the said sequel (eg Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2)
	*Build the hype		*Build the hype
	*Make a tight deadline, so that the developer will barely be able to code a mediocre game in that time		*Make a tight deadline, so that the developer will barely be able to code a mediocre game in that time (eg. Crap balancing, abundance of game-breaking glitches, shitty ass netcode)
	*Directly after that, fire most of the developers on the team		*Directly after that, fire most of the developers on the team
	*Tighten the deadline even more		*Tighten the deadline even more
	*Make sure developers are barely scraping by		*Make sure developers are barely scraping by
	*Remove content to the bare minimum (that you will release as DLC)		*Remove content to the bare minimum that you will release as DLC (eg. Rux the Gnome's overpriced and useless wares, such as reskinned and downgraded abilities)
	*<s>Bug testing</s> Lel no.		*<s>Bug testing</s> Lel no.
	*Rush developers before release		*Rush developers before release

imported>LIOD: /* Call of Star Wars- Imperial Warfare */

2017-06-19T14:45:13Z

Call of Star Wars- Imperial Warfare

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:45, 19 June 2017
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	Oh and after one month of this game's launch, sequels were already planned [http://screenrant.com/star-wars-battlefront-sequels/\| according to executives.]		Oh and after one month of this game's launch, sequels were already planned [http://screenrant.com/star-wars-battlefront-sequels/ according to executives.]



	==Media==		==Media==

imported>LIOD: /* External Links */

2017-06-19T14:44:09Z

External Links

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:44, 19 June 2017
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	==External Links==		==External Links==
	*[http://www.ea.com Electronic Arts' official website]		*[http://www.ea.com Electronic Arts' official website]
	*[http://~~community~~.~~teamxbox.com/xbox/987/Challenging-EA-A-Gamer-Revolution/p1~~/ A handy flowchart detailing the ins and outs of becoming a valued employee of Electronic Arts.]		*[http://archive.fo/aAM9Y A handy flowchart detailing the ins and outs of becoming a valued employee of Electronic Arts.]

	{{gaming}}		{{gaming}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 09:45, 19 July 2023
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	*[[Capcom]]		*[[Capcom]]
	*[[Video games]]		*[[Video games]]
			*[[Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2]]

	==External Links==		==External Links==

← Older revision	Revision as of 09:45, 19 July 2023
(No difference)